Trying to Wean, but Won't Drink Cow's Milk

Updated on June 12, 2008
N.B. asks from Mount Airy, MD
20 answers

My son is 13 mo. and loves to nurse. I'd be ok continuing for a while except that I need to be away overnight in about a month. He does drink water and juice from a sippy cup, but won't take cow's milk. He's never had formula and I don't pump, so I can't introduce it gradually. I do put it in oatmeal and he eats yogurt, so he can get calcium that way, but the pediatrician says that he needs to be drinking milk before I wean him. Also, I feed him and put him to bed at 7 and he wakes up and I feed him about 5, and then I put him back to bed until 7. How do I handle early morning hunger if I'm not breastfeeding? I appreciate your help!

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S.P.

answers from Norfolk on

Have you tried Silk the soy milk? I know it sounds crazy but I like it and my son LOVES it! he really doesn't even notice the difference and he can't get enough of it.

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A.F.

answers from Washington DC on

If you will only be away one night, do you need to stop breastfeeding? I think not. Be very thankful that your son loves to nurse. Breastmilk is the best to keep children healthy. I nursed my children until they were two years old. Soy milk is closer in taste to cows milk and is more healthful than cows milk. Perhaps you should that on occaision. The night you are away, you will get full but you will be ok so will your son. AF

1 mom found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Id say start giving him the milk in a cup NOW, youve got a month for him to adjust. Maybe get a special cup thats only for milk and you can even try to take the chill off of it. I have to do that for my 2yr old. Its ok if he doesnt get as much milk as he does nursing. He is eating other food now. When youre a baby your main source of nutrition is the breastmilk/formula so amount is important. When babies get older and eat other food then all that milk is not necessary. I worried about my 3yr old getting "milk" because when I stopped the bottle she wouldnt drink milk EVER. I just make sure she gets dairy in other ways.
Maybe if you didnt put him to bed so early at night, he might sleep thru until 7am. Try 8pm bedtime.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

My daugther loved to nurse, refused formula and any kind of milk. when she was 13m, I totally stopped breastfeeding. She has decided to take cow milk right away since then. I think that some babies will not take anything else if the nurse is still available.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi N.,
My suggestion is going to sound a bit out there, but I think it will work, especially if you don't want to start pumping at this stage. Before letting your son latch on, lather your nipple with the store bought milk, whatever brand or type that may be.
M.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm with the others here.... No need to wean just for one night if you both aren't ready! Also, cow's milk isn't a must...

I can tell you the most likely reasons he doesn't like the cows milk is the consistency and the taste. Generally breast milk is sweeter and pretty thin. Cows milk, especially whole or 2%, is pretty thick and blah. If you think he really needs something overnight then try the soy milk or soy milk in vanilla, that actually taste closer to breastmilk. If you really want to do the cows milk route I would say try some skim first. Its much thinner. (this was my oldest problem, he thought the whole was too thick). Good Luck!

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J.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Try giving him the lactaid milk. it sounds wierd, but when i weaned my first daughter i weaned her to the lactaid because it is sweeter and tastes more like breastmilk. then i gradually added in the regular milk.

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J.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Weaning is so hard. I am going threw it now. It effects the parent and child. when I started to wean I said ok only 3 times a day no more than that. So we did it morning nap and night. Well the first one I cut out was the night one. It was a lot easier. I waited a month or 2 to start the morning one. Well I nanny and the little girl I nanny already frinks milk,. So my son sees her drinking it. Well we end up giving him Chocolate milk. There is a brand called horizion organic that he really likes. Also there is vanillia too! They come in 1/2 carton or juice box type thing. My son enjoys the juice box thing but now he just drinks plan chocolate milk the kind you mix your self. Then adventually I will decrease the chocolate. I hope all goes well. If you want to know more just send me a email. Like I said we are in the same boat we are down to 1 nurseing for now.

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D.B.

answers from Norfolk on

First of all, your little one does not NEED cow's milk. It's not natural. If he doesn't like it, who cares. As long as he's getting calcium from another source. Our culture puts too much emphisis on cow's milk. My middle daughter who's 5 is as healthy as can be and hasn't ever really had cow's milk. You could try rice milk or soy. I never went that route but my sister did and her kids loved the rice milk. Also about weening, I agree, if it's one night a month, he'll be fine. I left my 14 month old (the same one who won't drink milk)for 4 days and when i got home, she latched right back on! Especially since you won't be there or offering the substitute, you'll be surprised at how well he'll do. I wouldn't ween yet if you aren't ready and if he's not ready. If you start researching milk, you might find that you don't ever want to give it to your son. Good luck. Keep nursing!

L.A.

answers from Washington DC on

I went through the same thing with my daughter.The only dairy she likes is yogurt. I question the necessity of milk and would investigate it further if I were you. I know plenty of toddlers not drinking milk and perfectly healthy (actually thriving better than their milk drinking buddies). Here's a link to get you started http://www.westonaprice.org/children/nourish-baby.html

At that age, she starting eating more table food. So diluted juice in the very early morning and a full breakfast immediately following always worked well for us.

Hope this helps,

~L.

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B.M.

answers from Washington DC on

N.,

I agree - there is no need to wean for one overnight if you & your son are not ready. If you are worried about him not getting you milk while you are gone, express a few bottles before you go and leave them for him. If you are worried about getting full while you are gone, take a portable pump and express while you are not at home. If you do not have a pump, you can rent them from most hospitals, or purchase an inexpensive hand pump since you will not be using it often.

As for worrying about the cows milk when you do wean, my oldest weaned herself @ 18 mos and my 2nd @ 24 mos (I am still nursing my 9 mo old). My oldest LOVES milk & my middle child HATES milk - I just make sure that she gets her calcium in other ways (yogurt, calcium fortified juice, cheese, etc.) Both are healthy kids, so I do not think that the cows milk is that big of a deal - My pediatrician said as long as she is healthy & getting the calcium in other was, not to worry.

Do what's best for you and your son! Good-Luck. ~ B.

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S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

If the only reason you are weaning now is because you will be gone for one night in a month then I say don't wean right now. It doesn't sound like either of you are ready. Weaning works best gradually with love and the truth is as soon as you introduce anything but breastmilk you have begun to wean. As for your overnight away it sounds like he eats enough other stuff that he will be fine for 24 hours. You will probably need an inexpensive pump while you are gone in order to stay comfortable and not develop a breast infection. sometimes you can express by hand and be ok but a cheap pump to pump and dump with should get you through the 24 hours. I would also not worry to much about him not liking milk. My 5th did not like it until she was 2yr. and then she still much preferred breastmilk. You are feeding him the best diet possible so some water and juice and solids for one overnight and he should be fine. If he wakes for up at 5am while you are gone they can just give him some juice or water.

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D.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I agree about not needing to wean just for one night! When you are ready, try drinking milk yourself for a few days and then offer it to him to see if he wants some, maybe in a new cup with trains or trucks or something special on it. Or even drinking out of your cup. I would stop offering milk for a few weeks so it is a "new" food. Kids are great imitators. If I drink milk and don't offer anything else (water or juice), my son will drink it, no problem. And he didn't want it at first, but I didn't offer it for a few months and then it worked. I also agree that cow's milk is nothing special! Yours is SO MUCH BETTER. After all, we don't want our kids to grow into 400 pound cows in one year, do we? Hugs, and good luck!

D.

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A.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My daughter is also 13 months and I just weaned her (she also never had formula and I very seldom ever pumped). She went through the same thing - hated cows milk. She'd take a sip and look at me with this look and let it all dribble out of her mouth. Very cute but we needed to get over that :) I took into account that breastmilk is very sweet, and started adding a tablespoon of powdered strawberry quick to her milk (it had a little less sugar). Over the course of about three weeks I'd gradually reduce the amount I'd put in when giving her milk and, as of about two days ago, she's drinking it plain.
As for the early morning hunger, I think a lot of it is psychological. He's waking at 5 because he's gotten in the habit of doing so. If letting him cry for a bit isn't an option, keep something for him to drink in the fridge that you can grab right away. I'll put a cup of milk in the fridge the night before to give to my girl in the morning. It's nice when they're weaned but that convenience is sorely missed! :)

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

The things that doctors say really drive me nuts! No human child EVER needs cows milk. Cow's milk is for cow baby's and human milk is for human baby's. Cow's milk available on the shelf is also pasterized so it's health benefits are usually depleted by the time we drink it. Calcium is absorbed through a true balanced diet and is actually not absorbed very well from cow's milk anyway, without the right coupling of specicic other nutrients, like magnesium.

If you will only be away for one night, and you cannot arrange not to do this while your baby is so young, you can do it and not wean. Your 13 month old will know that he does not get mammas milk from whoever is going to be with him, and he will do ok.

I had to start leaving my child full-time with a provider at 18 months old, as I suddenly found myself a single mome when my child was 16 months old. I was worried sick about how she was going to handle this, and naptime etc. without me and nursing. She did amazingly well. It turned out that she understood that only mom nurses her, and when I am not around, she can't nurse. She accepted this and continued to nurse, on a different routine. She ended up nursing more in the morning and evening, and not at all during the day when I wasn't there. ON the weekends, she nursed whenver she wanted to. In fact, I feel that this made her more prepared and secure with the change. So, you really don't need to cold turkey wean your son just because you will be gone for one night. My other advise you is, go to a local le leche league meeting. look it up online. These woman are highly educated and experienced in breastfeeding. It is a means for real support. FYI-Doctors do not learn about the ins and outs of breastfeeding in med school. Good Luck!

Please read the info below....

http://www.lllofmd-de-dc.org/index.shtml

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

http://www.parentingweb.com/lounge/newman/nm_toddler.htm

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A.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

Try watering down the milk a little at first. 1/2 milk, 1/2 water and then gradually reduce the water. Worked with my daughter over about two weeks timespan! Hope it works.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

N.
I am a Mom of 3 and 2 of them didn't want to drink cows milk either. They were all nursed as well. What we finially did was get some strawberry or chocolate mix and put it in the milk. Then slowly we add less and less until they are drinking just straight milk. As for the 5am wake up and then feeding and then putting him back to bed until 7 try leaving a sippy cup in his crib and see if he will just use it and go back to sleep on his own
Good luck
M.

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Y.L.

answers from Richmond on

At this point, you don't need to wean him for one overnight trip. Trust me, if you're away and he's hungry, he will take milk because that's all that there will available to him. And if he doesn't take milk, he'll take water or juice. Just make sure your husband gives him the milk in a cup rather than a bottle. You don't want to start something new you will have to wean him from. How often does he nurse now? You probably won't even have to pump while you are away if you don't nurse that much and it won't harm your supply. If he was 10 months old, I'd say you'd have to pump. My son is 18 months old and still nursing. I am expecting baby number 2 now and so am regretting not having weaned my son around 13 months. I don't think my son will wean before the baby comes. In fact, I'm sure I'll end up tandem nursing (nursing a toddler and a baby) because it just seems he'll never want to give it up. So that is something to consider if you are planning on having another baby before your son turns 3. Maybe it would be best to wean him now. I don't have any advice about weaning though. Obviously I don't know how to wean a baby/toddler. Good luck!

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M.R.

answers from Roanoke on

I just read the first part of Stephanie's post, and wholeheartedly agree.

What about pumping some for the time you'll be away?

If you really want to introduce cow's milk and they don't like the taste, add breast milk to it, then gradually put less in it.

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