Weaning a 14 Month Old

My daughter was allergic to milk, but also to soybean products (and spinach, and green peas, etc). Anyway, when it became more uncomfortable to nurse her because she was getting big, I just kept pumping and giving her breast milk, without the breast. I had to wean her at 21 months due to a surgery I had. She went several months without any substitute for milk, but after her growth slowed considerably, we tried goat milk. She didn't like the taste, but I would make chocolate pudding popsicles (just make pudding with goat milk and freeze) so that I could get some calcium in her. We also purchased mozzarella cheese made from goat milk to make pizza, and cooked pancakes and other things we knew she'd like with goat milk just for her.

She finally outgrew the allergy at 5 years old. She's now almost 8 and healthy as can be.

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If you are still getting any benefit or pleasure from nursing than I urge you to continue nursing. The World Health Organization recommends nursing for at least two years and then as long as mutually desired. Every child is different and if your first was ready to stop at 14 months that was what was right for him. If your second still wants to nurse than that is what is right for his emotional and physical development. You should be very proud of yourself for providing the best nutrition possible for as long as you had- kudos! On another note, soy milk has sufficient protein and vitamin D and would be a good alternative to cow milk until your son can tolerate dairy.

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J., since your son is allergic to milk, have you discussed the alternatives with the Pediatrician?

Somethings I would discuss with the peditrician or allergist is soy,rice or almond milk. The one thing my friend who has children allergic to milk is having is that Rice milk doesn't have enough FAT in it.

As far as weaning,at this age you are nursing for "nurturing" purposes. Every child is different as you already know.

You may want to consult a lactation consultant or someone from the LLL (Le Leche League) as their suggestions/advise and or experience is FREE.

As always do what is best for you and your family. :)

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My older son also self-weaned, but my younger son would probably still be nursing if I let him (and sometimes I feel bad about weaning him, although he was 22 m/o). But I want to support you in continuing to nurse him. I noticed that Enfamil has come out with "toddler formula" in which they proudly proclaim that it contains DHA & ARA, which toddlers need for brain development and eye health. Well, breastmilk contains this too! Which means that by saying that toddlers need DHA & ARA, Enfamil is really saying that extended breastfeeding is physiologically normal and beneficial. Continue to enjoy this time of knowing that you are giving him what he needs, and what only you can provide. The time will pass soon enough, and you will wish that you could soothe him with the simplicity of nursing.

Obviously, don't give him cow's milk since he's allergic to it (and most formulas are made with cow's milk, so he might not be able to tolerate these, either); but all in all, it sounds like you're doing just fine! If you're worried about calcium, find other sources of calcium for his diet (after all, cows don't get their calcium from milk). But kids know when they're thirsty, so he'll be fine with juice and water for that.

Some kids just need the comfort of nursing and snuggling. Don't make him give it up too soon!

Our first -- a daughter (now 32) weaned on her first birthday without ever looking back. I tried that with the second (a son, now 29) and he'd have none of it! He nursed for 17 mo, I think. The third one (boy, almost 6 years later, now 23 and the icing on the cake) I tried to nurse longer, but he quit around 16-17 months, too, I believe. Then the youngest (girl, now turning 21) gave up somewhere between 12 and 16 mo I think. Just enjoy it. Only feed him when HE indicates that he chooses to, and he'll gradually give it up. If you try to take away from him what makes him feel warm, fuzzy and secure, it'll only make him feel MORE insecure and want it worse/more. Nature will take care of his urge. And I don't know what to recommend as replacement. I'm sure others have offered suggestions.

God bless!

Rice Milk, Soy Milk or Coconut Milk would be great. My 14 month old is allergic to cow's milk and soy so he drinks rice milk. We get the vanilla flavored Rice Dream they sale at Wal-Mart. He seems to like it.

There's a lot of bad press about soy (just do an internet search), and my naturopathic physician (ND) has called it a "poison". I do know that it has a lot of phyto estrogens in it, so probably not a good idea for your son. Rice milk is ok; if fortified with calcium it at least has that, but not really protein or anything else - just something to drink. Juice should be diluted so he doesn't get such a sugar rush (50/50). There are other drinks such as "oat" milk and such. Goat milk might be an option if he's allergic specifically to cows milk, but it would still have lactose, of course. It is awfully expensive, though.

I weaned my first son at 17 months by putting something that tasted nasty on my nipples when he'd want to nurse (specifically ginger scented shower gel - it was around and did the trick at the time). He lost interest pretty fast. I hardly remember what I did with my second son to wean him, but I did it right at 12 months because he was biting and scratching me and causing me a lot of agony (but I was determined to go until 12 months). Probably the same thing - just made it nasty and stopped offering it, and he got over it quickly.

Good luck!

Dear J.,
My middle child developed a vomiting/diarrhea, dehydrating virus when he was 18 months old. He could not take in fluids.
He was about to start IV fluids, when he started being willing to nurse. Breast milk was the only thing that stayed down. I had to pump to strenghthen my milk supply, but it kept him out of the hospital.

I don't know enough about the bad rap about soy. Rice milk has minimal protein. Goat's milk is a good alternative but (like cow's milk is meant for calves) is chemically structured to feed baby goats.
With your son's cow's milk allergy, I'd delay the weaning if at all possible.
Good luck!

My daughter was 25 months when I began to wean her. At the time, she was still nursing about 3 times a day as well. She had absolutely no desire to stop nursing and it was a very rough time for she and I. I decided to stop cold turkey trying to distract her when she requested "nene", and I would explain she was a big girl and no more nene. After about 2 weeks and a lot of tears from she and I she was completely weaned. However about 6 months later when she saw me without a shirt on in the bed she attempted to snuggle under me and looked up with her big brown eyes and sd. "nene please mommy". I replied as I had before and we have now been successfully weaned for over a year and a half. My daughter isn't allergic to milk, but has no desire to drink it regardless of all of our attempts to flavor it, etc. She is now 3 1/2 and has never drank cow's milk. Our few attempts resulted in her gagging. As a substitute we ensure that she eats lots of cheese and yogurt which she loves to get a good source of calcium. Her pediatrician says that calcium is the key regardless of it's form. I quess it really is true that "breast is the best" becuase my daughter has resolved to never settle for less.

Good luck and be blessed,

J.,
My kids drink rice milk. We all have eczema and dairy breaks us out. Did you know that we are the only mammal that drinks milk after we are weaned? We have tried soy milk and hemp milk and coconut milk too. Health food stores have lots of alternative options but the closest to taste of milk was rice milk for us.
Also, if your ok with him nursing, it is ok. There is no law stating you have to stop at a certain time. I am proud of you for nursing your kids, going to school, working and being a wife. I think your pretty amazing!!!! I love to hear people nursing their kidos. Its wonderful for them and you.
Have a fantastic day!
W. from Sellersburg

try soy or rice milk. i have to disagree with the mom who said let him take his time... my aunt did this with my cousin and he was breast feeding at age 5! yuck! its easier to wean when they are younger.sounds like hes doign it more for comfort anyway. good luck

If you let the first one self wean, why have you changed to forced weaning with the second? Each baby is a unique individual with unique needs and desires. treat them as such, let the boy suckle until he is secure enough without it to give it up in his own way in his own time. Esp. since he is allergic to cows milk, let him continue human milk as long as he needs to. The benefits of security and comfort that come with nursing are just as important as the benefit of superior nutrition and immunities it brings.
M.

You are really busy, but with food issues, I would continue to breast feed. It is the most wonderful start you can give him. I had one stop on his own at a year, and nursed one till 18 mo, and was ragged. Choose a stop date, once he is on soy milk, or another substitute, take a week, and cut back each day, for your comfort. Good luck.

Friend had the same problem. Rice milk consistency was the closest to breast milk. I'd try that. You could try soy but the consistency is more like formula. Good luck.

Check with your doc of course, but our son drank Silk soy milk with no problems and has now outgrown the milk allergy. Good luck!

I nursed all three of my boys until they were 1 year old. I nursed my daughter until she was 2 years old. My hubby said she was a "nursy baby." She loved her momma and she was not ready to wean until she was 2 years old. After she turned 1 year old she only nursed first thing in the morning, before she went to bed at night, and if she woke up in the middle of the night. All children are different. I would encourage you to play it by ear. He seems to be telling you that he still needs to nurse. A wise woman once told me to listen to my children because they will tell me what they need from me as their mommy. It has always worked for me. Good luck with your "nursy baby!"

Hi J.,

I can't offer suggestions on the weaning part... however for the milk subsitution... I highly recommend rice milk. My youngest son cannot drink cow's milk, though he can eat yogurt and cheese. We started him on Trader Joe's organic rice drink. It's the unflavored kind (not vanilla - that was too sweet). He absolutely loves it! It's fortified with calcium. As someone else mentioned, it is lower in fat than other milk alternatives, so if your son is underweight, make sure he's getting that fat content from other foods he eats. Rice Dream also works in a pinch, but we've found the Trader Joe's version to be more economical.

Good luck!

Every baby is different - some will nurse for only a year and a half, others will want to nurse 2, 3, or 4 years. In most other countries, babies nurse for about 3 years as the norm.

If you're wanting to wean and he's allergic to cow's milk - you can use soy or rice milk. I wouldn't suggest soy milk as it is hard to digest, and really not a healthy choce. Rice milk, on the other hand, is a very good alternative - healthier than cow's milk too. You can get it in the cooler section, but sometimes it's in the health food isles too - out of a cooler. There is a brand called Rice Dream - and they have chocolates and strawberry flavors too so that he can enjoy chocolate milk. It is much sweeter than cow's milk, so, he may transition easier to it since breastmilk is so sweet.

I sometimes buy it to put on my cereal or cook with because it is so much healthier than cow's milk.

I posted almost this same question a few months ago! Mine just wouldnt drink milk at all. I got some good suggestions, so you can look back at my post if you want. I also talked to my ped. I have also been told to be wary of soy milk, or too many soy products. So talk to your doc or do your research before you go that route. It's almost like an estrogen in our systems, and estrogen is not something you want to give a growing baby boy.

My doc told me the best thing and it worked great. The orange juice that is Calcium and D fortified is exactly the same nutritional value as milk for those vitamins. The only thing you are missing by substituting that OJ is some protein. So as long as your baby gets other good protein sources, using that OJ in place of milk is fine. We did that, and mine is doing great. He doesnt like other juice very much, but took to the OJ. Just do the math if you dilute it with water, you will have to give more. And broccoli is a great substitute for milk also. I also am still nursing once a day, and that way I know he getting some milk too. There is nothing wrong with nursing a while longer if you want to. I kept on nursing because of the nutritional concerns, but I'm glad I did now for lots of reasons.

Hi J.: I am a mom and a nurse as well and my daughter is allergic to milk. I started her on Silk (soy milk) and she loves it and solved my problem. She has been on soy milk since 9 months old and is now 5yrs. old and very healthy. Blessings to you and your family. A.

Try rice, soy, or almond milk. If he won't take any of these out of a sippy, try the 9-24 month formula, or start with chocolate rice, soy, or almond. It makes milk out of a cup more appealing.

Have you tried Rice milk, J.? Perhaps that's an alternative to milk? It's very important that you offer a substitute for milk that has enough calcium. I know this isn't an answer to weaning, but the allergy to milk is something a little hard to deal with, I'm sure.

Good luck,
D.

Children are so different. My oldest got to where he only nursed at night and I know it was a comfort thing - this went on until he was almost 3. My second child quit nursing on her own when she was about 14-15 months. With my son - I finally ended the nursing at night when I got a bad stomach virus and my sister kept him for me for a couple of days until I got better. When he came home I didn't let him nurse and he accepted that the nursing was over. In many ways I think that it is easier for the mom when the baby decides to quit.