Trouble with Bed Time

Dear M.,
It seems to me that you know he will pee or poop at a certain time at night so maybe he needs to be on the toilet before he goes to bed. Give him a nice bath, brush teeth and put him on the toilet. My dad made a stool for the kids to use to climb up and when they were little, I often used it to sit on to help balance them while they sat. They had potty chairs but didn't use them for anything other than stashing toys in.
If he pees or poops every night at a certain time, have him on the pot before you put his jammies and diaper on.
He knows how to get his diapers off by himself, so it might be time to let him wear training pants during the day and put him on the toilet every time you go. Everytime Dad goes. Everybody gets a turn at potty time.
My daughter got in the habit of pooping in the tub and one day, I just left her in there with it. I called my mom and nonchalantly talked about the weather, etc for about 10 minutes. My daughter started freaking out because it was the first time I didn't race in to get the poop away from her. And scour the tub and re-wash her. It sounds mean, I know, but she never did it again.
And, I put her on the toilet before her bath and after her bath.
You know he will pee or poop at a certain time so just tell him he can sit on the potty until he's done and then get into bed. You said it already takes an hour or more to finally get him into bed. Spend that hour putting him on and off the potty with no diaper until he goes. If that doesn't work, leave him in a poopy crib for about 15 minutes. Tell him it's bedtime and mommy and daddy are tired and they never poop their bed so you'll deal with it in the morning and close his door because you don't want to smell his "stinky".
Tearing his diapers off and pooping in his bed is NOT the routine you want to be in. 10 or 15 minutes is a long time for a kid to think you actually really won't clean up the mess.
I would definitely start him on the toilet.
I would get a timer that you can set so he knows that in one hour he needs to try to use the toilet, brush, etc and whatever time that doesn't take up, you can have story time.
It sounds to me like he doesn't really like diapers so it might definitely be time to potty train.
Peeing and pooping in the bed is a major no-no and if he insists....you need to try a different tactic. For sure.

It might be time to transition him to a big boy bed. If you made it something exciting for him, like he picks out his new blanket and pillow and you make it this big deal about being a "big boy" now, he might treasure bed time and HIS new blanket etc..and treat this time differently.

I haven't had this problem yet, but my daughter loves to be naked and just turned 2. A few thoughts I have is to put his diaper on backwards, duct tape it on, or put training underwear (or something tighter) over the diaper so he can't get it off. You could also try (these are total shots in the dark) having him go potty in the potty before bed. Maybe he's ready for a little potty training at night.
Best of luck!!!
C.

1- I would duct tape his diaper so he can't get it off.
2- I would put him back in bed and tell him that unless he lays down, you're going to close the door. than slowly start to close it. Once he lays down, open it back up. If he gets up, do it again. If he persists. Close the door and wait about 4 or 5 minutes (it will seem forever) and than open teh door and say are you ready to lay down now? than leave door open. Do until he figures out your serious, or he sleeps with the door closed.
He's testing his limits and your patience right now.....don't let him. I have a terrible 3 right now, and boy oh boy, my patience is tested. My sweet, always goes to bed with no problems has become a nightmare. the shutting the door thing has worked so far.

good luck
K.

OH my....you have your hands full. I moved my oldest son to a big bed at this age (27 months) only because he was climbing out of his bed. I didn't have the other issues you are dealing with. However,I would put him in a onesie with shorts when he was trying to take off his diaper. That is usually a sign they are ready to be potty trained.I would start boot camp wtih him. Meaning. Have a routine. Let him know your in charge not him and its not ok with what he is doing. let him know, ok its bath time now, then potty and brush teeth, book and work his way to bed time if your not already doing this. I use to tell my son. Ok in a few mins its going to time for X and we go down the list. Sort of like what they do on "Dora". We made a game out of it so they know what to expect. I also use the lavender baby bath by Johnson's and it calms him down. I let him sort of hang out in the tub and relax after I have washed him down. He loves to just float around on his tummy and we blow bubbles in the tub too and i play classical music in his room during this process at night and a little warm milk in the bath tub too in his sippy cup. I have gotten creative. I was also 4 months pregnant with #2 when he was this age. We talk about what we are going to do the next day when I get him dressed in his jammies and let him know, no bed time no fun tomorrow. At 2 its all about being in control and they will fight you the entire way. Good luck. I love the one response about putting the diaper on backwards/duck tape. That is great. However, My youngest is so strong he has been able to grab the front of his diaper and pull it apart without having to take it off at 9 months. Talk about a mess when the inside of the diapers came apart. He just tears it up from the front. That gel stuff is nasty business.

SAHM/Zombie 40yrs old with 2 amazing, funny little boys. 3.5 & 1yr old. Started walking before 8 months. I love being able to be with my children and watch them grow. I soak up everyday because they will never be little again.

This was happening to my friend at the exact same age as your son and she had to put him in zip up pajamas so he couldn't get to his diaper. I think he is probably too young to potty train. My friends doctor said it was a behavior issue and a form of acting out. Have there been any major changes at all. My daughter is about the same age and if she gets out of her bed she is in major trouble.

Oh we were just in this stage about 6 months ago. The poop...it was a-flying! I can't tell you what will work for you, but this is what we did.
My husband and I decided it was time to move him into a big boy bed. We decided against a toddler bed, since we didn't want to have to change into a bigger bed later. So we were able to get a great deal on a used bunk bed, and bought new mattresses. We also started to be really proactive in the potty training. We got him his own potty chair, and we also allowed him to pick out his own underwear at the store. We also explained to him that only Mommy or Daddy take are to take his diaper off...Not the child. He seemed to understand that. Between those things, the taking off the diaper completely stopped.