Toddler Fears

His behavior is perfectly normal. He is trying to separate from you (emerging independence), yet at the same time is beginning to realize how big the world really is and his need for you. It can be an exhausting period for us parents, but comfort him when it is truly fear and create consequences for when it is simply disrespect. Easy to say, but more difficult to actually do! Good luck!

My daughter was about that age when she had high lead. Her behavior was similar. Everyone said it was perfectly normal for her age, but it settled down a lot as the lead level declined. Can't say that caused her behavior, but it is known that lead can exacerbate behavioral problems, so I would get a test if it hasn't been done.

GooooooooooooooooD Morning Carrie, Its it loads of fun being a mama!!!?!?!? Almost as much fun as being a Nana or Grammy which is more fun. We get to send them home in the evenings!! Your not alone dear heart, not by a far stretch!!
Corbin 4 is still acting out when mom comes to get him once in a while, and sometimes he is so worked up to stay at Nana's he does get a swat!! When just a few minutes ago he was wanting Nana to take him home now.. He wanted his mama!! It goes back and forth Carrie. I go over to their home every morning at 7:15 so mom can go to work then I bring them here usually, He wants me to Leave and Mama not to go make the bacon!!

Of course he doesn't get his way, usually goes to his room or time out if he gets to rowdy. Now his baby Brother 17 months has learned to throw FITS royally. He will throw his self on the floor and scream and cry. I step over him and walk away. Nana's not watching so it's not as much of an attention getter.
I have kept this sweet, smart, highly vocal little man since he was born and mama had to go back to work.
This started about maybe a year ago. He has a very high vocabulary since he was 2 1/2 so can really voice his opinion, thoughts and wants or needs using correct words and usage. Not bragging, just how it is. He can make me laugh so hard at time with what he can say or come up with. Super vivid imagination.
Monday night they had Tyrannosaurus Rex Fajitas for dinner. And they were yummy.

Few weeks ago he was really acting up as they were getting socks and shoes on to go home. Well Corbin wasn't listening or complying. His Papa was home this time, Gen was taking care of the baby Zane, trying to talk reason to Corbin to get ready to leave. Corbin wasn't having it. Papa got up walked over to Corbin and give him one of those Lifting off the floor swats. Then got down to his level and told him "Now listen to your mother, and get your socks and shoes on". Tears streaming, little chin quivering, not a sound though he sat down and did it. We get out to the car and he said, Nana you tell Papa not to do that again, He hurt my feelings!!! I told him I couldn't do that because Corbin needed to be reminded to obey.

See Papa reads to Corbin every time he gets home before mom gets there, they sit in papa's chair and read at least 2-3 bks. He is what Corbin calls his best Papa in the Whole World, and it broke his heart papa would swat his hinny!

We usually do time outs also Carrie when he does this. We ask him where our sweet Corbin disappeared to and when is he coming back?!?! He will tell us He is right Here Nana, the naughty bad boy left already. Then smile really big, and gives hugs.

Most of the time he is very well behaved, well mannered little boy. He is tall like your little guy and has been for a long time, he is over 40lbs also but slender in stature. A Lot of energy wrapped up in the package.

I wouldn't stand around waiting for his time out to be over Carrie, I would tell him he goes to time out when he gets home and if he continues to act out it will be a longer time out. Then when you get home remind him why he is in time out. They seem to forget so quickly. Let him know Mama is not happy do to his behavior. By the time you do get home you won't be as angry with him but still Time him Out.
He needs to learn consequences to his Actions.

I would imagine after you leave he is fine at the sitters and she can place him in time out after your gone. So don't hang around long, give kisses hugs bye byes, see you this afternoon and leave no matter if he throws a fit or not.

Patience and endurance, endurance, endurance. You have to be stronger in temperance then they are. They know what buttons to push so early.

Like shopping...lol Corbin loves to ride the Hee-haw
(horse) at Wally World so we usually do that on the way into the store not as we leave. Because by the time we leave with Two little guys my patience could be frazzled. I don't promise to do it later. We do it first thing as I know they will both be good then.

Best of everything to you Carrie, it is something most kids go through and ya just gotta stay bigger and stronger then they are.. LOL My Momma used to say "They were good until you got here"!! I've never said that yet!! Never will. But I do miss my mama!!

Corbins room is beside the street and he has woke up crying at night also the last few months saying he is scared. The train is a block away and he used to get up to watch out his window when it goes by. Now he says he doesn't like the train it scars him. During the day though he wants to go out and watch it go to Towanda LOL or To Emme's house in TX. This is new for us with his fears and we are working with him on it.

God Bless and hang in there Carrie it will be something else down the road
K. Nana of 5

WOW!! What loaded questions!! lol One thing I can relate to is his size. You've describe my son to a tee. So far, my son hasn't shown the actions you say your son has.

You may be right, maybe he is now realizing fear. You may want to try explaining things to him... see if that works. Tell him he's safe, that you're there for him, etc.

As far as the sitter goes... I'm thinking he's testing his limits- to see how far he can push them. He's a bright kid, so no wonder he's doing this. You should go about things as normal, and if he starts acting up, as the saying goes, "Apply the hand of knowledge to the seat of learning."

The meds you gave him may possibly have been a culprit in this, but I doubt it. You could give his dr. a call and ask about side effects.

About the violent temper fits... YES, you should haul his rear end somewhere else and deal with the issue. Let him know YOU'RE the mama and HE'S the son!! :) Don't let him get away with it otherwise it's gonna get worse.

Now about the bed issue; go about your routine as normal. Stand firm and tell him what you expect of him. Being as bright as he is, he'll understand. This may take a few times, but it'll all work out. It won't be easy, but keep in mind you're doing this FOR him, not TO him.

I hope I've answered most of your questions and concerns. I'm just sure you're going to be getting TONS of responses. Write down all the good ideas and go from there.

Good luck... raising kids is not easy!! :)~ls

My son is two and a half and is going through many of the same things.
Some things that work for me: holding him when he's scared or unsure of the situation and talking him through it (he soon jumps down and gets in the thick of it!); telling him about the day in the morning so he won't be surprised; giving him transition time so he knows that we'll be leaving/eating/picking up toys and he has time to adjust to the idea (a few minutes before we do it or he forgets about it); when he asks to do something, I say "OK, you want to read a book. First, let's change your diaper and put your pajamas on. Then we can read a book." That way, he gets what he wants but he doesn't dictate our whole night. He will often repeat it and be very happy that he gets what he wants.
I hope this helps!

Carrie,
I am up to baby number 3 and we are starting to experience some of the "typical" two year old behaviors as well and my little guy won't be 2 until June. I just want to assure you it all sounds normal to me = )
I would tell you as a person who has worked in a proffessional daycare setting that the best way to deal with his anxiety of being dropped off is to remain calm and positive, hug, blow kisses....whatever you usually do but don't linger and please don't try and just sneak out. It is always nice is your sitter has something to kind of get his attention right away or distract him, but since you have no bad feelings about where you are leaving if you have any added anxiety he is going to pick up on that, so make sure you aren't feeding into it.
I don't know how well time outs work with a two year old, but if that is working for you then I guess that is a good thing, just remember no more than a minute per year of the child.
And...although this may get a lot of frownie faces from other mamas...I do not think a light swat on a diapered bottom when the child is being over the top ridiculous is a bad thing at all.
Even though my son loves to go outside or bye bye and he can say shoes and socks he has been naughty at times when I have tried putting his shoes on and tried to kick me and I held his legs very firmly and said we do not kick...that serious mama tone can work if you don't over use it = ) Also even though I know that I have read time and time again not to use the place they sleep as a "punishment" we do have a pack n play that he doesn't sleep in or nap in set up dpwnstairs that if he is throwing a fit and won't use his words I will put him in the pack in play until he calms down, sometimes I put a stuffed animal or some board books...I don't call it time out, I just feel like even toddlers get stressed sometimes.
Please do get his ears re-checked after he is done with the antibiotic though, it may not be a coincidence that some of this seemed to flair up when he started the antibiotic...it may not be working and they may have to put him on a different medicine.
Lots of luck to you, these things shall pass...I have a sweet 8 year old and a pretty great 13 year old that both went through the sometimes terrible, sometimes terrific twos!

B.

First of all, with him outbursting, I wouldn't "swat him on the bottom" becasue it will just show him that hitting is okay and clearly it's not. Plus, if he's throwing tantrums, you don't want him to start hitting back.
Time outs never worked for my son...
As far as your child's fears, he could just be realizing that he is his own person, and experiencing some seperation or just some typical 2 year old opposition. Ignoring if you can or distraction are good behavioral ploys...good luck

I think it is perfectly normal. I have a 3 year old (just turned 3 on Saturday). We have dealt with some of the same issues. She wakes up in the night scared, thunder scares her, noises scare her. Even as you said, she cries when she goes to the sitter (whom she adores). I think their little brains are comprehending more and they are just trying to figure it out. We deal with all of this with more hugs and cuddles and lots of assurance that it will not hurt her. If she cries when I leave her with the sitter I assure her that I will be back to pick her up. I let her know if it will be Mommy or Daddy picking her up and we try to stick to that. It follows the same rule as everything else to this point, Consistency. I don't remember how long it lasts, but you will get through this. And your child is fine and perfectly normal.

That amoxicillin has flavorings in it, and the flavoring has lots of sugar and dyes.
Also, some children's medicine (not sure about amoxi, but worth asking about) has alcohol in it. My 6 year old granddaughter was given a prescription "tummy" medicine and within the week had mild alcohol poisoning from it. The doctor said some kids can't tolerate it as well and switched her to a different medicine. This was a med meant for children !
Also, the same granddaughter can not take a very popular allergy med that supposedly has little or no side effects. She has hallucinations and freaks out when she takes it. Another form of an allergy I guess ?
Since you mentioned your son gets hyper on children's Tylenol, I thought these might be things to consider.
Go to a "compounding" pharmacy (they specialize in special order meds)and express your concerns. There are so many ways they can mix that amoxi without the regular sugary flavors and dyes.

Carrie,

I wanted to just let you know that your your son is perfectly normal. Your post had me giggling because I myself am a first time mom and my daughter who is 2 years and 7 months old is doing a lot of the same things your son is doing. It's all normal. That's why they call it the terrible two's. My daughter is the most easy going little girl. She is very pleasant and plays well with herself. Well, ever since she turned 2 1/2 years old, she constantly says, "No!", and she has to have me in her sight ALL THE TIME! It's gotten to the point where I can tell it hurts my husband and mom's feelings because they try to hold her and she screams, "No, I want Mama! Mama! Mama!". She FREAKS out over any bugs and screams, "Lady Bug, Lady Bug, Lady Bug!" a million times until the bug is removed. She does this everywhere!

Sorry I don't have any advice on dealing with your son when picking him up. I have zero experience with that. I'm a Work-At-Home mom and my daughter has never been w/o me (SCARY!). I myself would just haul his booty to the car and let him cry it out in the car. Have books and other items in the car to get his mind on other things. It seems that he's getting his way (staying at the sitter's longer) if he misbehaves since he is put in time-out. He might view it this way. Just a thought. Hope you get some good advice on what to do, but don't worry too much. Your son is normal!

My 3 y/o does the same things & has for the last 3-6 months! He seems to think everything is loud & I have had his ears checked sooooo many times, but there is nothing wrong. I figure that it is just a phase. He also gets scared of things that he has been used to for most of his life. He does seem to be 'out growing' some of it, because he used to hate the sound of the vacuum but he doesn't seem to mind it any more. He also doesn't want to go to bed as much as he used to. he jsut wants me to lay down with him, so I dit next to his bed & rub his face for a few minutes, then I tell him that 'I will be back to check on you in a little while/few minutes'. he says 'ok', rolls over & goes to sleep.
Hang in there!

TOTALLY normal!! You're just going to have to ride this one out. My son turned 3 in Nov. and went through the same things starting around 2 1/2. Sounds like you are doing a great job mom!!

My son is also a big boy, so I relate in that way too. By the way - it's GREAT that you are aware of your expectations and try to keep it within range for normal for a 2 year old rather than a 5 year old. You're going to have to continue to do that and remind teachers, family members, friends, etc.. because EVERYONE else is going to expect more from him because of his size --- even other kids at the playground.

Temper tantrums - It's developmental, so don't take it personally. To help keep your sanity I highly recommend Love & Logic (check out thier website) - this system has proven itself invaluable to me. You'll have to just try a few methods of discipline to find out which one suits you the best. My son usually is great with time-outs, but when he started to get even more independent he started ignoring the "stay" part of time-out. I've gotten to where, I don't care if he sits or stands as long as he stays where I put him. Using a kitchen timer has helped me because instead of him asking a hundred times if his 3 minutes is up he just waits quietly (most of the time) to hear the sound and he HATES when I use the timer, which makes the time-out more meaningful. If we are at home and he fights me about time out, then I give him one warning that if he doesn't stay put in our "spot" then he's going to have to have time out in my room, which he doesn't like because he is scared to be alone. If I put him in my room, I typically will still stay closer to that room, so he knows he is safe (time-out usually doesn't have to move that far). He knows that he has more power/influence if I'm on the phone, in public, talking to someone, etc... your most powerful move is to act like it's no big deal - don't loose your head and even though you can get VERY upset inside do your best to not show it to him because that is ultimately what he is looking to do (get a reaction from you). Trust me, easier said than done and this is the one thing that I have to work on the most. Just follow your procedure (even though it's sometimes embarrassing and inconvenient) - start with timeout, remove him from the situation... don't do a lot of talking though, just take action. Also, make sure he's getting enough food/drinks/sleep -- my son has always been more combative when one of those things is out of balance. Usually it's obvious because when he starts yelling at me, if I quietly ask him why he is so frustrated with me and ask him if he needs a hug and a snack and/or nap - he starts to cry and tells me he's tired. I think those cases he just doen't know how to articulate his needs and it shows up as a temper tantrum instead.

Scared portion is because he is starting to process things differently and imagination is taking off. He can come up with conclusions about things happening that he couldn't come up with before. Just be very reassuring and let him know that he is safe with you (in your home, with daddy, with grandma, etc... ) I completely cut out any programs/books that he was scared of. He has always LOVED Little Einsteins, but there are a few episodes that he just "can't shake" if he watches them - usually involving a witch or "the bad knight". They don't seem like a big deal and these shows don't really show any evil stuff, but his imagination takes what he's been shown and runs with it (it's just easier to avoid the scary shows all together). At bedtime, there have been some nights where I laid with him or stayed in his room for a little while so he would feel safe - no talking and eyes closed was the rule. Since then he's gradually gotten better and now only needs a small light (ours looks like a candle, but has a battery). He keeps his blankie and a few "friends" in bed with him too. He did use his little sister's Glo-Sea horse for a while too, but we had to make a rule that he could only play two songs, so he wouldn't lay in there playing with it for an hour. Follow your intuition - you know your son better than anyone. If he needs some extra reassurance now, it's great that he has you to lean on. Don't ever make him feel silly for having the fears - just let him know that he's safe and that monsters, etc... don't exist. Unfornately, one of my son's biggest fears is a wolf (thanks to my neice for reading him The 3 Pigs). Since it really does exist - I just explained that wolves live in the forest/mountains so there is nothing to worry about. I've also gotten some childrens books about wolves, foxes, etc... that tell stories about them as animals, not characters, which has helped.
Good luck and keep up the good work!

It seems like he does not like transitions. I would start having a very regular routine and I would include a countdown type process as part of it. You could even buy a cheap timer for him to hold. Give him a 5 minute warning, then a 3 minute warning, then a 1 minute warning. He can start to have a sense of when things are going to change. And then be on time to pick him up from the daycare provider. LOL!

How are his naps? My daughter can be explained in the same way. Advanced, especially in her language and is tall. She has atways been trepidatious, yet independent, especially with loud noises. We have recently had alot of problems with fits and it begins when we pick her up, emotional, can't reason with her ect. Her problem is she has decided not to take a nap at daycare. We've put her to bed later, got her up earlier, put her to bed earlier, got her up later, any adjustments we could and nothing works. We're still dealing with it, so I guess I am not much help, lol

The fears are develomental. Young children usually develop and react to fear at ages 2 and 4. The other behaviors are as well...mostly testing the limits to see where he can push them. Most likely he also is wanting to be more independent. My suggstion would be to set clear limits, stay consistent, and give him choices and the "power" when it's appropriate. You and your husband have to set the limits together and enforce them together and make sure they are attainable. It may take a lot of work to start with but should result in decreased behaviors.

I haven't read the other responses, so if this is redundant sorry!

Well, this is definately an "I've been there." My son is 3 now and has been a pretty sickly kid (he was a premie). Anyways, I personally think from what you are telling us that it is probably the medicine. Different medicines effect people differently. My son gets crazy when the doctors have to put him on Prednisone (which I avoid at all costs). You can just see his whole body constantly moving and he has violent outbursts - it is insane! My guess is the amoxicillin is affecting his mood in a negative manner, since it seems from your posts that is when his mood changed. I would stick to your displine methods as is until he his off the medicine. Make sure you pay attention to how he acts once he has been off the drug for 24-48 hours. I, also, might call the pediatrician to see what they think because amoxicillin has penicillin in it which a lot of people are allergic to and they may know if it is known to cause mood changes in children. Hope this helps! Good Luck and hang in there! :)

Is it possible that he may have a slight allergy to the antibiotic? If he has been acting a little off since he started it, it might be a slight side effect to the medicine. There was something that struck me in your request, you said that he was afraid of the train. Now, it could have been the ear infection that made the whistle very different to him or could have made the whistle painful to him. Either of these could have happened. But, my daughter is also afraid of train whistles but I make sure that when we do hear one, I will make a big playtime deal out of it. I will do something like "Hey! Did you hear that? Can you make a sound like a train? Listen, Mommy can. TOOT TOOT!" and that seems to calm her down and she is VERY slowly getting used to them. Around his age, they start to realize some of their emotions and routines. It may be that he realizes when you drop him off, he automatically knows that you are going to leave him there. So, to help make this an easier time for him, you can say something like "Mommy has to go to work now, I will be back to pick you up at 4:00. Now BIG hugs and kisses to last you through the day until I get back." I actually saw this technique on Super Nanny and it didn't work immediately, but I did notice an improvement and by the following week, both of my kids were practically pushing me out the door when it was time to leave. I even tell my oldest, who just turned 3, that 4:00 is when the big hand on the clock is at the very top of the clock and the little hand is on the 4. She knows when 4:00 is, not any other time yet, but I turned it into a lesson on time as well as when she can expect me to return. I hope this helps.

Hi dont't worry I have been there althiogh my son is now 12 it does get better I don't remember everything but I am now reliving it with my 2yr old nephew first of all my son was scared of everything he wouldn't even swing at the park until he was 4yrs and still to this day he is fearful of somethings that other kids love in a way I fill blessed my brother wasn't scared of anything and almost gave my mom a break down My nephew has tantrums gets mad at my sister I have noticed not that it is the same in your case but my sister gets frustrated and aggravated when he acts up and when I sometimes jump in and handle it wich I don't deal with him all the time so I have more patience at that moment. I've noticed and so has my mom that he acts the way I act and easier said than done I'm sure. but when I talk calmly to him or ask him nicely for something it really brings out a sweet sweet side in him he is hugging and kissing it is really funny to watch how you can change their mood. by not getting upset staying calm and talking really nice to them. Like I said I'm sure your a great mom but I do remember when my own son would drive my crazy and I automatically raised my voice and acted the same way he was.HAHA if this is the case with your child you should try it. It really works for my nephew and it is almost entertaining to watch their whole mood change. Good luck I hope Ive been help.

A lot of it sounds like tyical 2 year old behavior. Be consistent. Also see if things don't change after Amoxyl is done. There are dyes etc in meds that can cause reactions. It this just started when the meds began that could be the culprit. See how things are a few days after the meds and then the next time if he has ear infection relate to the doctor his reactions to it and see if something else can be prescribed. Good Luck. Parenting is the hardest job you will ever have.

My son is also 2 1/2, and also huge, although not quite 41-pounds huge. He's going through the same kinds of things, although his issues are different. My son, for example, has to do EVERYTHING himself, even if it takes forever. If you try to help him at all, he has a complete meltdown. And although he doesn't have separation anxiety per se, he acts awful if I dare get on the phone for 5 minutes. I have two older kids and they went through this kind of thing, too. It's just part of their development. They will get over it. I know it stinks.
Do you ever watch Supernanny? My husband makes fun of me, but I swear her techniques work, especially the timeouts. They are most effective if you do it exactly like she does. Hang in there.