My daughter is 13 months old, and I would like to describe an average meal time to see if we're doing the "right" things for her.
We all sit down at the table with our daughter in her high chair. We give her the same foods as we eat with a few modifications. She usually eats them well, but she's very messy. We have not been successful with getting her to use bowls or plates, as she tips them over or throws them on the floor. She does like using her silverware, though maybe 40% of the food gets in her mouth. We have a system that if it's a food that needs to be spooned to her, she has a spoon and I have a spoon. She dips her spoon in the bowl (I'm holding the bowl) and does her best to take bites, and I use the other spoon to feed her so she actually gets the food. She uses a sippy cup for water; she used to throw it on the floor when she was done with it, but she has learned not to do that. She doesn't like it setting on her tray for some reason, so she always hands it to me to set on table. When she wants "more" or is "all done," she tells us w/sign language and we accommodate. Sign language has eliminated the crying at the high chair to get what she wants.
My concerns are that she is extremely messy, she does throw food on the floor (sometimes intentionally, sometimes in play absentmindedly), and she does not use plates or bowls with success yet. Those suction bowls/plates do not stick; she knows how to pull them right up and spends her mealtime focused on that. Does this sound about par for the course for a 13 month old or should I be having higher expectations?
Thank you!
I really appreciate the feedback. It put my head in reality and my expectations as well!
Sounds normal! Forks and spoons will come later; she's doing great if she's getting 40% of what actually gets on the fork into her mouth. I would start slapping her hand and telling her "no" for intentionally throwing food on the floor. My mom used to put a plastic tablecloth under us to keep the floor cleaner when we were in a highchair, but it seemed like more work than it was worth to me. Just a thought!
Totally normal. IF your 13 month old was NOT messy or could use untensils perfectly, that would NOT be normal. Hee, hee.
Kudos to you for the sign language.
R.
are you describing my son or your daughter?! lol!
that is totally normal as far as i'm concerned. i drove myself CRAZY b/c he wouldn't stop throwing his cup on the floor. even today (he's 22 ms - don't discouraged b/c boys take longer than girls!) he'll still throw his plate on the floor, or start to, when he's done. i have to watch him REALLY close to try and catch him before he does. your DD is ONLY 13 months sweetie, she's got SO much to learn and sounds way ahead by the way! she's fine, you're fine, give her a little break and keep being patient w/her like you are. you're doing good, but so is she!! :) good luck & take care! :)
(these toddlers can be a HANDFUL!!!) :)
I'm still struggling to get my 2.5 year old to use your fork all of the time.
Perfectly normal.
I am going through the EXACT thing right now with my 15 mos old. My 3 year old was never this messy of an eater. My 15 mos old throws things on the floor, food, sippy cup, whatever when she is done. I read the minute they throw something end meal time. I honestly haven't done anything yet so hopefully your question will help me as well. She is also my strong willed baby so this is all pretty new to me. I hope you get the right answers so meal time can be enjoyable. I don't think I have ever washed our floor so much and slider door behind her, it is washed about 3 times a day, can't wait for this stage to be over. Take care :-)
While annoying, this is completely normal! She is learning about cause and effect and gravity is baby's favorite example of this! My daughter had the same habits at that age but now, at 21 months, eats perfectly behaved and uses utensils like a pro. The key for us was to literally NOT react when she threw things or made a mess. Just don't say anything about it. When she does get the food into her mouth, praise her but say nothing when she makes a mess.....no attention means no reason to do it where kids are concerned.
Around 16 months we started saying "if you want to be a big girl keep the food on your tray" but only once per meal. Totally did the trick! She's even great in restaurants now!
Good luck!
Sounds to me like she's completely normal. I've been through 3 kids, and this is exactly how a 13 month old is at meal time. Don't worry! :)
Sounds normal, though we used a heavy straight walled bowl/plate that we had for toddlers. We inheired it and my husband made more at his pottery class, I don't know if you can find them anymore or where to look for them. We avoided soups and sauces until they were better able to handle food and utensills and took the food away if all they were doing was intentionally making a mess.
When mine were that age, I fed them directly off the tray. If it was something mushy, I spoon fed them myself. I just didn't want to have to clean the floors everytime. Sounds like she is doing exactly what she should be doing.
Actually it sounds great to me! Good job! My son is 13 months as well and has NO interest in using forks or spoons. I give him a spoon when I'm using one to feed him yogurt or something and he still isn't interested. The plate thing will come in time. I would try it periodically and just keep at it but she's still a bit on the young side for a plate. My guy will sometimes use one but mostly he chucks it on the floor within a few minutes. The messiness is totally normal. I don't think my daughter got to 'mostly clean' eating until about 2. Also, if she's using a sippy for water, she can probably use it for milk too. Don't know if you're doing that already and just didn't mention it, but getting rid of the bottle now is a good thing! ;)
Yep she sounds normal. My son did the same thing.
Frustrating, I know. Just learned to sweep/mop a little after he was done.
Oh my word, more work and frustrating but.......
So first I used to just put the food on the tray.
Then we went to the plastic silverware.
Then to bowls and plates.
All a mess. She's learning. Don't expect much more right now. Hang in there.
Don't feel bad. My son is 13 months and still have no interest to self feed. In fact the only thing he puts in his mouth are toys or stuff he is not suppose to put in his mouth. We try to give him food to self feed and he would just throw it on the floor. I spoon feed him everything and once in a while he would stick in hand in the bowl and make a mess so I have to really hold on to the bowl. Your daughter is doing fine and it's very normal what she is doing.
Your expectations may be a little high for a 13 month old. They are all about the mess at that age. Yes, you should be letting her try to feed herself but you still should be feeding her or she isn't going to get full at her meals.
I have a 2 year old that still prefers that I help him eat
She's fine. I am assuming her growth is in the normal range? My oldest ate with her fingers until well past age 2 (I didn't care, she wasn't playing and utensils are hard). My youngest has been eating successfully with a spoon since 18 months. Motor skills develop diff in diff kids and I think my younger wanted to be like big sister. She will continue to be unintentionally messy for about another year. Don't let every meal be out of control play time, but she is still in babyhood, and playing is how they learn. If she can communicate what she wants and when she is done then you are doing great. If her growth is where it should be, then she is doing great. No worries.
