13Mo Insists on Feeding Himself!

Get a good bib, something to cover your carpet and hand over the spoon, mom. This show of independence is not only healthy and age-appropriate, but exciting! Your little baby is getting bigger and learning things and the whole world is his for the learning. And what an awesome thing that he feels confident enough to take this on. It's an exciting time to be in his life, but for now your role is not of feeder, but of observer and cleaner-upper. It will probably mean preparing more food than usual since a lot of it won't make it in the mouth until he gets a little more practice. Be there to help and encourage and have an extra spoon of your own to sneek in bites if he'll let you (make it a game).

Now, having said all that, the FIRST time he throws food or his spoon or starts finger painting with his lunch, LUNCH IS OVER. Not in two more bites, not after you answer the phone, RIGHT NOW. Take the food away, wipe him up, get him down and say, "we don't throw food" (or whatever the offense was). No need to be angry, just firm. If you are worried he didn't get enough to eat, offer it again in 5-10 minutes when he will have forgotten that he had his food taken away as a punishment.

Having reread this, it sounds like a lot of work. That's because it is, but it is very worth it. Establishing your authority now while enjoying these new adventures of your little one is worth the extra work.

And trust me, it's temporary. He will not always be this messy when he eats. It will be a new battle soon. And one day soon your little toddler will start Jr. High and you'll realize you only have 5 years left before she leave the nest! And that you could be a grandmother in 6-10 years. AGH!! I'd give anything to have all my babies little again - handing over the spoon and cleaning up damp cheerios off the carpet was so much easier than the some of the adventures and challenges we are embarking on now.

So hand over the spoon, mommy - let go and enjoy the journey!

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This is a problem? He will learn not to make a mess. I used to put a plastic back table cloth under my child's high chair. Forget the mess. YOur child's independence is more important than what the neighbors think of your house which contains a child. Practice makes perfect and he's a year old now. Let him do what he can do by himself when he can do it.

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Let him feed hisself. He is expressing his independence. I worked full time when all of mine were that age. But the mess to clean up was no big deal to clean. My oldest had no interest in being independent. Well now at 17yrs old, still having the same problem. My 2nd child was completely independent and that is a blessing. If you are a SAHM let him be independent and clean up the mess.

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You may as well give in. He is just trying to learn to be independent.My kids at in their highchairs. I would take a large size trashbag and cut it,to open it up, then I would put it under the highchair to catch the mess that would inevitably get on the floor. It made clean up a bit easier. Good luck.

What worked with my daughter was to give her her own spoon and bowl of food let her try to feed herself. I would give her bites inbetween the bites she gave herself. She loved the independence and felt like a big girl feeding herself! Things do get messy, but that happy, sloppy smile makes it all worth it!!

I have 4 kids that range in age from 16 years old to 9 years old, and I hate to tell you this, but it's just part of their normal development. Learning to do things for themselves can be messy sometimes, but it's all just a part of the growing process. If you can put rugs or there are plastic mats that are available to place under the high chair that might make clean up a little easier. And through this process you'll be amazed at how fast and sometimes how many times you can bathe your sweet boy in just one day. I know that sometimes it feels like you're just covered up day and night in baby stuff, laundry, cleaning, etc. But you'll look back one day and realize that it all went by too fast!

He is doing exactly what he should at this age. Try changing what you feed him to make it more finger and hand friendly. When you are giving him something that requires a spoon (like oatmeal, or soup) give him a spoon too while you feed him with another. This way he can feel like he is helping and at the same time you are getting more food in his mouth. And remember, at this age even speghetti is a finger food. Just give him the messier foods at dinner when he is going to get a bath afterwards. Meal times are just going to be messier for awhile until he gets the hang of it. But don't discourage him from feeding himself. He can't get better if he doesn't get lots and lots of practice.

I feel your pain!!!

Clothes off, protect the floor as good as possible, don't allow him to throw food or play in it. Don't wear your nice clothes during the feeding or you might end up wearing the food.
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An example of a meal I would do:

Spaghetti and red sauce...Use a food chopper, not mush, just small manageable pieces. I recommend Pampered Chef Food Chopper, it is extremely easy to clean, that way every bite is going to fit on the spoon and no stringy dribbles will drag around.

Green beans, chopped up in small pieces.

Fruit, cut up or chopped.

Bread, in thin slices so it is easy to bite off.
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Most high chairs will fit in a regular bathtub/shower stall. After meals I just pick up the high chair and take it right in and hose it down. It makes clean up just dandy. If it is still colored from the food I spray it with a bleach cleaner and let it sit a few minutes then rinse it off. It only takes a few minutes and keeps the chair sparkling white.

Good luck!!!

no more baby puree foods.. use finger foods, cut up cooked foods - sweet potato, regular potato, peas, sliced carrots, just about any veggie, fruits, cheese pieces, crackers, goldfish, cheerios. I also let him drink the yogurt with a straw :)
I think toddlers are all like this! Gaining independence.

Give him his own spoon and bowl with a portion of the food and give yourself the same and try feeding him in between his bites. He may be so focused on trying to feed him self that he won't notice you actually getting some food into him.
Good luck.

I have hangups about messes myself, and I wonder if I don't give my 13-month son enough opportunities to learn to feed himself. But you want your son to feed himself, to be more independent and to free you up more at meal time. He'll get neater over time, but only in the process of practicing, practicing, practicing. I put a large $5.00 vinyl tablecloth under the high chair and that saves the floor from needing heavy cleaning; I replace the tablecloth about every month or so. My son likes to feed himself, but hasn't figured out spoons or forks yet. He sometimes shows a little interest in them, but would much rather fist the food into his mouth. Although I can feed him quicker and neater than he can feed himself, I think I'd still rather be in your shoes, despite the mess and inconvenience to myself.

Let him feed himself.

If you don't he'll be a messy eater later, because he won't have learned how to do it properly. Independence is a good thing.

Don't fuss over the mess.

Use place mats, bibs, and dress him in plain undershirts that don't cost much or let him go naked for meals (then you can just plunk him in the bath when he's done). You an also put newspapers down around the floor for easy clean up.

I agree with the others- let him feed himself!! They have the plastic mats made to go under the highchair. You could also use a cheap shower curtain, or something of the sort. I would give him his spoon and have one for yourself to aide in his feeding. AS SOON AS he throws food on the floor or anything like that, explain to him that it is inappropriate. (Obviously use different words so he knows what you're saying). And just let him have fun!!! Pull out the camera and enjoy it! :)

You could also give him some cheese or crackers or finger foods (hot dog, veggies like corn or peas or beans, etc) that he can feed himself before the meal comes- maybe while you're finishing cooking dinner. But don't give too much- you still want him to eat right!

Just a suggestion.... Good luck!

Hmmm! I'm not looking forward to this one, myself! How about doing mostly finger foods and pureed-food soups that you cool to about room temperature and give him in a sippy cup? (You don't want very warm or hot things in plastic!! The chemicals in the plastic leach more quickly into them.) I've got two great recipes, one for carrot soup, one for potato, that you just puree, and they're so easy and healthy! Email me if you want them and I'll type 'em up.

Hi

My 15 month old did the same thing at that age. She is getting better now though. I let her eat most things on her own, but she lets me feed her things like yogurt. It does get frustrating when she won't eat the things I want her to try. She does spit it out or shakes her head telling me she doesn't want it. She pushes the spoon away too. I just feed her things she can pick up and eat on her own. Or if I'm eating something she wants, she'll let me feed it to her. ha!

Good Luck!! D'Anne

hey A....
i just finished this stage.. it is some strong independence and as much mess as it creates now, well you have some freedom in sight too!
so what i did: i just gave her a small spoon and then i had a different spoon. i scooped food when i could and put it in her motuh between her messy and fall everywhere bites. this way she actually ate and filled up and also was learning the way to grasp the untensil.
the next step: so these days we are past the if i touch her spoon she screams and waves it around generally making a huge mess... so when we feed finger foods.. i back away. and when we feed what should use a utensil i gently replace the spoon in her hand into a semi correct position and then i place my hand on her hand as we together scoop food and move toward her mouth...still some mess but getting better everyday.
you will survive this too
-mb

put his tray in the kitchen and let him go to town, if you make a big deal of it he may continue the messy behavior but if you tell him when you are a big boy and do not make messes anymore you can come weat at the table with the rest of us he may stop. It is very fun to throw food and plates though,lol.

Being messy is part of the learning! Just like potty training is sometimes messy-and learning to cook can be messy-no matter what age you are. Let him feed himself!! If he uses his fingers he's getting sensory stimulation too-it's all good! If you are serving something particularly messy-like spagetti or oatmeal take his shirt off (I taught pre school for 3 years-spagetti days, some of the shirts came off!) I take my 21 month old daughters shirt off when we finger paint too.
Try to get to the messes as soon as you can when the meal is over-I know sometimes that's next mealtime, but it makes cleanup easier if you can get to it right away. Enjoy this and you can look forward to the times when your kids coat their hands and the carpet with Selsun Blue shampoo, cover their entire head in A&D Ointment and pour half a bottle of fingernail polish on the carpet-that last one happened just last week! God Bless!

This is a normal part of development. He is ready to try learning to feed himself. Put down a plastic sheet and try to relax. Eventually, he'll get the hang of the spoon and get more in his mouth and less on the floor.

He needs to be feeding himself, mess or no mess. As the old saying goes, practice makes perfect. Some children adapt to holding utensils earlier than others. Until he's developed that coordination, he can eat finger foods. Most little ones love dipping things. Animal crackers in applesauce or grilled cheese in ketchup, etc. You seem more worried about the mess than the fact that he needs to learn this skill. Keep offering him spoons and forks (kid size, of course). Even with soup, they make bowls that have suction bottoms so they don't tip. Just make cleaning up his tray and his hands and face part of his job, not just yours. It's just the beginning of good habits at the table. Someday he'll actually be clearing the dishes from the table and think nothing of it. He sees you feed yourself, so he wants to do the same. Be thankful for that! I wish you the best.
Granny D

I can only wonder who is your child going to learn to eat by himself if you don't allow him because he makes a mess. Have you tried offering a few thingthat he can eat with his fingers while you spoon feed him the rest? In the end a mess just needs to be wiped up... but self feeding is a learning experience for the rest of his life.

Good! Soon he will be independent! I think this is great. I say strip him to a diaper when he eats, and put an old sheet on the floor underneath him. Afterward, shake the sheet out outside, and use again until it's soiled enough to go into the wash. And the little midget will likely have to go to the wash, too, after each meal! I have a midget, too, and had four before him. I know it's a pain. But one day you'll miss it!
Blessings,
H.

Try giving him a spoon with dry cheerios in a bowl or something. Then, he can feed himself, but also you can sneak in a few bites here and there.

The only way they will learn to feed themselves and not make a mess is by practice, let him feed himself. Just put some plastic down on the floor under his chair.

then let feed himself buy him a bigger bib be glad he wants to do for himself maybe he will potty train easier and not be 3 before he's trained good luck

Let him feed his self. Place toddler sized silverware at his place, and he will start to mimic you at meal time and try to use the silverware. Yes, it is messy, but keep the wipes, a large feeding bib, and a broom handy. If you have a dog they will be best buddys at meal time.

Relax, the messes are only just beginning, and your little one is starting to show his independace. Now is the time to start nurturing that independance.

Self feeding is one of the milestones all children must learn.

have you tried giving him a spoon and you keep one too give him a bite now and again. it is normal for them to go through the I do it myself stage and teh messier the more they like it lolhave fun and take lots of pictures those memories wont last forever. If it is the floor you are worried about get a shower curtain and put under his chair it cleans up well and can be washed in the washer (I did it with my two)

A.,
I know it is tough that your son is always making messes, but learning to feed himself is something that he needs to learn. He will get better at it! If you are having something particularly messy you could just put something dry (like crackers or cheese toast) in front of him and you could feed him the messy food off of "your" plate. Hope this helps!

If he wants to feed himself, then he is showing good signs of development. Kids are just messy sometimes. its part of the learning process. I'd let him feed himself and just clean up the mess when he's done.