Is it normal for a toddler to ignore his caregivers? My 16 month old has about 15-20 words. He is very loving, loves books and playing with his toys and he prefers to play with others (seems to prefer adults to children) but will play by himself. He loves animals, music, the outdoors. He is very attached to me, my husband his baby-sitter etc. However, I am really starting to become concerned over how he will ignore me and his other care givers. He does not do this all of the time and he does not do it for very long. For example, he is walking towards his wagon of blocks or sitting and looking through a book and I call his name and he just completely ignores me and keeps doing what he was doing until maybe my third attempt at calling to him. Or he is playing with a block and I ask him to hand one to me (working on our “following directions”) and he just ignores me and acts like I am not there and keeps doing what he was doing. He will only do this for a minute or so and he does not always do this. However it seems like he is doing it more and more often lately. Sometimes he will do exactly what I ask (“bring Elmo to mommy”) and he will acknowledge me the first time I call to him. Also, the majority of the time he engages us in play. He loves building towers together or taking turns bowling. He likes to bring his stuffed animals to me to cuddle with or brings his cars to me to send across the floor. He will bring a book to me and crawl into my lap etc. I really don’t think there is an issue with his hearing. I am just wondering if a toddler ignoring his caregivers this young could be part of normal toddler behavior. Of course I am concerned only because the “not responding to name/ignoring others” is something you always hear when you read about signs of Autism. I guess I am just not sure if this is a symptom that I should be concerned about or something that is actually normal behavior if not “extreme.”
Thank you all so much. I feel so much better now.
OK, yes it is normal. I am waiting for my 3 1/2 year old stops ignoring me. If I really want her attention I say "cookie", and she'll look.
Normal. We went through the same thing, and I worried about it. My boy is 2.5 yrs old now, and he still does it. We have great interactive moments, and then sometimes he just gets really focused on what he wants to do. I think it's actually a good trait and shows he's able to immerse himself in an activity.
Yes, I think it's normal! He doesn't sound autistic to me, just interested in what he's doing. My nineteen month old does the same. And he really ignores me, since I'm the primary caregiver. It just depends on how interested he is in what he's doing and what I'm asking him to do. Don't even ask me about how well the five year old listens!
I think one of the key things in autism is LOSING ground--not meeting your eyes or laughing, losing words, not wanting hugs. But you can always ask your pediatrician or do research.
I woudln't worry about Autism. Sounds like he likes to immerse himself in his play. He enters his own little dream world. Every child is different and your may be more independent than most. Read my article "Mothering the Children of Our Future" on www.wheelsoflight.org. You may get some insights on the philosophy of Crystal Children. These are intuitive children that don't use a lot of words at an early age and are often labeled autistic. But please don't get caught up in lablels either. When speaking to your child, it's important to get down to their level, look them in the eye and then speak to them. Your then connecting.
Get his hearing checked out just to make sure there is nothing wrong. He really may not be just hearing you depending on where you are standing, other noise in the room, etc....
Or he may just be really into what he is doing at the moment which is normal behavior for a child that age.
As the mother of two boys and having many friends with little boys, I can honestly say that I see this behavior all of the time. I don't know if boys are more apt to do this than girls or if I just notice it more with them because I have boys. My oldest son has done this since he was speaking. If he is engaged in something he does it even worse. I can assure you that other than being very independent and having his own agenda, he is totally normal and fine. I wouldn't worry to much unless your son really gets withdrawn and gets to the point where he simply stops responding. Just remember that all kids are different and as their personalities develop it can often catch us off guard when they exhibit new or different behavior. I wouldn't draw to much attention to it, but one thing that works for us when or son does this is to get down to his level, say his name and tell him that I need him to answer me when I ask him a question. If he still ignores me I tell him that I am going to take away whatever he is focusing on unless he answers me. When he was younger, like your son, I would put my hand in front of his field of vision to break his concentration and then repeat what I had said to him. That typically worked.
Good luck and try not to worry to much, kids just like to do things on their own terms, some more than others!
Oh my goodness- do you want a robot?
Did you think that he may be doing something important to him? And he finishes what he is doing and then responds to you.
Do you always drop everything you are doing when someone says bring me- ? a cup of coffee, or pass the salt- might you finish what you are doing before you respond.
Extreme- yikes- quit"testing " him, and enjoy!! Don't let the info out there make you crazy with symptoms, etc, uck!
Sounds to me like you have a very intelligent young man, and enjoy!
from a 2 time mom, 3 time gramma-
you haven't seen anything yet- there's the twos, and there's the teens(talk about being ignored!)
Hang on you are in for a wonderful ride!
The best to you,k
This is normal. And it only gets worse as they get older! I have a three year old and a 16 month old, and sometimes it is a competition between the two of them as to who can pretend they don't hear us longer! LOL!
I would only worry if your son completely starts to shut down and stops interacting altogether. Otherwise, welcome to mommyhood!
:-)
It is VERY likely that it is normal toddler behavior & he is so intent on what he is doing he has tuned out his surroundings (think 'husband' :)... since he does respond the 1st time sometimes- you are right, his hearing is probably fine (whisper directions/requests to him when the 2 of you are actively engaged in play & check it out). If it gets more serious or more frequent- he MAY have a slight processing disorder & it is taking him a while to process what you are saying. Best advice- Relax :) And- from a teaching point of view - with his skill/ability keep your request short (clear with few words). Good Luck & welcome to 1st time "mommy-hood"! He is at an awesome age... every day gets more exciting!
LOL - this reminds me of a story about my youngest son - he was around 2 and he started to do the same thing. I told my pediatrician "I am concerned about his hearing, because sometimes it seems like he just doesn't hear me" and I'll never forget the doctor's big smile as he said "I think that's behavioral, ma'am". I just laughed. And it was true.
Be sure you're not interrupting what is the serious work of toddlers - play. If not and you just need him to do something or go with you, you might have to walk over to him and get down to his level (with a smile) and say, please put elmo away because we have to go to Gramma's" (or whatever).
Respect him and his tasks (playing) and there's a better chance that he'll respect you back.
My daughter was the same way. She outgrew it. I think it's because they're in deep concentration and do not want to be disrupted. Just let him play, I did with my daugther, and he'll come around. It is also nice that they can play by themselves and entertain themselves without TV or other people. It fosters independence. Sometimes I peek in on her and she's usually playing by herself, even when there are other children around. Don't worry about it. You will appreciate it when you need a moment alone and don't have to entertain him for hours on end because he will do it for himself.
