13 Month Old Son Doesn't Respond to His Name

Updated on April 19, 2008
J.B. asks from Warrenville, IL
29 answers

My son is a little over a year now and doesn't even look at me when I call his name. I know it's not a hearing problem, because if you make other noises that he doesn't recognize (bark, sneeze, etc.) he turns and looks at you. I'm getting a bit paranoid now because someone mentioned that it could be linked to autism, but my son connects with others very well, so I don't think that's it either. Is this just normal defiant behavior for a toddler?

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So What Happened?

I can't believe how many great responses I've been getting! I've decided to bypass Early Intervention because they haven't returned any of my calls, so I will be going straight to my son's pediatrician to see if he thinks there's anything to be concerned about. The doctor said (on the phone) that he thinks it's a bit early to be able to detect a mild form of autism, but that he would see my son and direct me to a specialist if need be. On a side note, when I picked him up from daycare yesterday, one of the teachers called his name and he turned right around to look at her, so there's a very good chance that it's just me he's ignoring... :-) I'm almost second-guessing myself, but I figure that if I was concerned enough to start asking other people for help, it's a valid concern. I'll let you know what I find out, and thanks again for all of the responses. I still can't believe how great everyone has been.

Featured Answers

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D.L.

answers from Chicago on

Good for you to be pro-active in this situation! I have a son with autism and it would have been easier to ignore his behaviors and not deal with them. But, getting him screened by Early Intervention was the best thing I could have done.
Hang in there!!
D. L.

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K.C.

answers from Chicago on

If you face him and talk to him does he respond? My son had to have his tonsils and adnoids out and his ears lanced when he was 2-1/2. I noticed it like you, I would talk from somewhere out of the area with no response, but when sat in front of him he would answer just fine. The docs said he was probably reading my lips

Just a thought

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M.B.

answers from Chicago on

Jennider, what we need to know is what did you do before he stopped responding to you

Also, what is his favorite food or toy? Try this?

John, want a cookie?

M.
www.toy-train-table-plans-store.com

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D.H.

answers from Chicago on

We had a similar situation and were waiting it out. Just before our son's second birthday, we finally gave in and had him evaluated by Early Intervention. He now receives services for both speech and OT and is doing much better. My husband and I are kicking ourselves that we didn't call earlier, so great move on your part! Either way, you'll have peace of mind. Good luck.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

Maybe it's the tone you use with him mom. Sounds a little strange. I don't think it's anything to worry about.

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S.H.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J. B. A friend of mine has a son who did act very similarly. However, this child never spoke. He made some grunting sounds, but never spoke. He was thought to have autism as he did not have any hearing problems. He was found to just be developmentally delayed. He never even spoke a word. He has been going to a speech pathologist for some time now and from what I hear, is doing much better. It could be time for you to push that pediatrician for a referral to see someone specialized in this sort of thing. Good luck to you and to your son.

God Bless,
S.

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J. ,
Follow your gut and talk to your ped. Im not sure if you are aware of services in the ILL area . If you are really concern its never to early to seek help .Im not sure where you leave from me , but I used Early chilhood intervention when I thought my son was having speech problems . They send a team of therpist to your house and evaulate (sp) your son . Im a strongly believe its never too early to seek help on any issue's . The earlier you catch something the better off everyone is . If you would like more info , dont hesistate to contact me .

Have fun with your son , they grow up so fast .
K.

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M.A.

answers from Chicago on

Hi-

My son did similar things at that age. At 18 mos, there was a whole week when he didn't look me in the eye (or even face) and I worried about autism, as well. I had him assessed through the state's early intervention system (it is free) and he was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder. Kids with this disorder tend to "tune out" when things become overwhelming, whether it is immediately, or long-term (it can build up over several days.) My son is also very energetic, and is mostly of the "sensory seeker" subtype, with some sensory defensiveness and under sensitivity as well. When kids get to school, SPD is often misdiagnosed as ADD or ADHD.

My son is now 4 1/2 and has come a long way with therapy (occupational therapists are the ones who are specially trained in this area, IF they are; not all OTs are.) There are still times that he "tunes me out" but I know a lot more, and it is very rare. If you go through Early Intervention, they also make sure that the actual hearing is okay. Not all pediatricians know about SPD, or may have limited knowledge. The statewide number for EI is 1-800-323-4769 (I think; my info is a few years old) Parents or caregivers are encouraged to call with referrals. As I said, the assessment is free (state funded) and if services are needed, they are done on a sliding scale.

Good luck!

M.

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S.H.

answers from Chicago on

It is completely normal behavior for this age. My son is 14 months old (my 3rd child) and is so busy getting into everything and and doing what he wants to do that he doesn't respond a lot of times when I call him. There are many symptoms of autism, not just that one, so if you are concerned and to put your mind at ease, I would go online to some websites (autismspeaks.org) is one and learn more about it. Hope this helps!

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J.A.

answers from Rockford on

Definately have your child evaluated. If you pediatrician doesn't take you seriously, seek other opinions. Here is some informationn about the signs of autism, from Easter Seals. Having any of the signs indicates that a screening could be in order.

-----------------------------------------------------

What are the Signs of Autism?

Spins objects

Sustained odd play

Little or no eye contact *****

Severe language deficits

Insistence on sameness

Uneven gross/fine motor skills (may not kick a ball but can stack blocks)

Laughs, cries or shows distress for no apparent reasons

Noticeable physical over-activity or extreme under-activity

Difficulty expressing needs; gestures or points instead of speaking

Not responsive to verbal cues; acts as if deaf but tests in normal range *****

Echolalia (repeats words or phrases in place of normal responsive language)

Inappropriate attachment to objects

May not want cuddling or act cuddly

Unresponsive to normal teaching methods

Oversensitivity or under-sensitivity to pain

Aloof manner; difficulty mixing with others

-----------------------------------------------------

Remember that autism is a *spectrum disorder*, which means that a child could have some symptoms, or all symptoms, or any range of combinations in between. Abilities can range from low functioning, to very highly functioning, to savant capabilities in rare cases, and anything in between these ranges. Not all autistics have zero social skills. Not all are nonverbal. Not all autistics have low intelligence, and in fact the majority have above average intelligence. It is also four times more common in boys than in girls.

Please remember that every child is unique - growing and developing in different ways. Most of the time, differences between children of the same age are nothing to worry about. But for one child in 10, the difference can be related to a developmental delay. If you have any questions or concerns about your child's growth and development, call Help Me Grow/Future for Kids helpline at 1-800-323-GROW (4769).

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L.W.

answers from Chicago on

I'm glad that you made an appointment with early intervention. Once you have him screened you will feel so much better. If there is a problem, they will be able to help you resolve it. My son starts therapies next week through Easter Seals (early intervention by the state), so I understand how you feel. You'll be happy that you are taking these steps now to help your son.

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E.W.

answers from Chicago on

My son is 2. He is a chatterbox, very funny, not autistic. He ignores me ALL THE TIME when I call his name. Especially if he is engaged in something else such as a toy, a book and especially TV. I think it is that they become so focused in what they are doing that they are able to tune you out. Even when they hear you they are so self-centered that they don't know it is rude not to respond. That being said, follow your instincts! If you are worried you should have him checked out. I just wanted to give you another perspective. One other note. My son was evaluated by EI for an eating dysfunction. The system works really slowly. Just be prepared for that. What has your pediatrician said? Good luck!

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C.F.

answers from Chicago on

I have a 5 1/2-year-old daughter with autism (mild side of moderate). There are signs other than "ignoring" you or odd social habits. There can be physical indicators, too.

My daughter was late with every physical milestone other than neck strength (strong from birth) and sitting unassisted. She crawled late, didn't walk on her own until 15 or 16 months. She also had a tendency to let her head fall to the side almost 90° when asleep or relaxed. She was (still is) very mellow and a cuddler. As an infant, she always wanted to be held. If we put her down, she'd be inconsolable.

My aunt noticed the reduced eye contact far before we did. She made eye contact with us and the few adults she saw on a regular basis. By the time she hit 24 months, I had "that feeling" that things weren't quite right. Sooner, actually, because of the slow physical development. Oh, and at nine months, she would say "Oh Boy!" and "Hey There" every now and again, but that disappeared by her first birthday. By her second birthday, she got some words back, but she had fewer than 50 words. Believe me, it's hard to think how many words your child knows when the pros keep wanting to know!

Now she's in a cross-categorical class and doing better every week. She gets speech and occupational therapy and some integration with the "regular" class.

I don't know if this helps much, but maybe it does. Besides, it helps me to get the story out, even if it's just a small part of a saga of love. ;-)

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V.R.

answers from Chicago on

J.,
When my daughter was 1 my sister in law watched her along with her sisters son who did the same thing. They waited till he was 3 before looking into it and found him to be deaf. They did the same things you are doing. It doesn't hurt to have him check out.

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

lots of children don't really respond to their names. I think they know but just sort of ignore it. Does he understand some phrases like: "give it to me" or "come over here" or "no"? Does he have any words such as "bye" or "night night"? I would talk to your pediatrician and if you still have concerns get him screened. But this sounds pretty normal to me.

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K.C.

answers from Chicago on

Does your child look at you and make and keep eye contact? Does he smile at appropriate times? Can he say a few words? He should be able to. I am no expert but these are some other indications that there may be more to this. I would definately see your doctor with your concerns. It is always better to get all of the information as soon as you can so you are prepared for the future. If it's just a defiant toddler, then welcome to motherhood. Wait till he's a teenager! Good luck!

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E.B.

answers from Chicago on

I wish people wouldn't be so flippant about autism! As far as I remember, our son didn't respond to his name at that age. Don't worry :)

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J.

answers from Chicago on

i truly hope its not autism but what you are describing is what happend to my cousin't son, they took him in for an official hearing test to start with i believe.
you are better off being paranoid and getting it checked out if its a defiant 1yrold love every minute of it

J.

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

I think that can be very normal. With autism you are looking at a constellation of behaviors that go beyond more than one thing of not looking at you when you call their name (though that can be one factor in many) (e.g., socialization with others,language, play, imitation, behavior, etc.). It sounds like he is social and connected with you and others and I would just pay attention talk to your pediatrician if you have further questions.
T.

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J.D.

answers from Chicago on

Definitely not an expert, but i would recommend that you talk to your doctor about that. There are a lot of different types of autism. A lot of children with autism are very good with other people.

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J.R.

answers from Chicago on

I am no doctor, but I would talk to your ped. about this...

to make yourself feel more secure about the link to autism, do a little research to see what the 'warning' signs are...

my son will sometimes ignore me - selective hearing i think. then i will try to get his attention by saying things like 'hey monkey!' and 'hey... buckethead' (not trying to be derragatory (sp?) - he literrally walks around with a bucket on his head - he puts it there... it's something funny that he does :)) he typically will smile and look at me.

I think the largest concern with autism is the inability to connect with others socially - as far as symptoms go. but definitely mention this to your doctor... rather err on the side of caution, then dismiss it as nothing, right?

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S.W.

answers from Chicago on

it doesnt hurt to talk to your ped dr and have him evaluated. perhaps its early signs of a processing delay or ashbergers there are so many different things out there but there is a lot of different therapys out there to help with these things.

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H.C.

answers from Chicago on

Had this talk with my 18 month-old son's developmental therapist today. It had been mentioned on his 15 month evaluation (he was a preemie, this was a global evaluation.) When they asked if he responded to his name, I said, "25% of the time" and my husband said, "100% of the time."

We're not worried.

It's not even defiance. Here's how I characterize the thought process: "Mommy's with me all day. She says my name a lot in conversation, sometimes when she's not even trying to get my attention. If she really needs me, she'll come get me." I'm sure I'm equivalent to the voice in his head.

I bet you will eventually go over and get in his face when he doesn't respond, right? :) No worries. :)

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A.K.

answers from Chicago on

J.,
My son was the same and at 18 months he didn't have 50 words so I had him evaluated by early intervention and then later had him evaluated by a speech therapist. It turns out he has a pragmatic speech delay (social language delay) and made tremendous progress in GROUP speech therapy. I would discuss this with his doctor and see if you can get an early intervention in home evaluation. If anything it will give you peace of mind.
A.

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C.K.

answers from Chicago on

I was regularly ignored by my son at 13 months, when I called out his name. He still ignores me at times when I call him, though now I see him glancing at me through thecorner of his eye. I believe it to be selective hearing and have heard that it is perfectly normal. I also was worried and had my mother (a elementary school principal who is trained on what to look for) evaluate him. Apparently she already had tested him for all sorts of possible developmental issues, and he's just too active to want to stop what he's doing. Once mobile kidsare so immersed in exploring, and search and destroy initiatives that getting their attention can be really hard. It never hurts to ask a professional to check him out just to be on the safe side and to alleviate fears. Talk to your ped, and be careful researching warning signs, because a lot of the time they are very vague, and can make you believe that your son shows all of the signs, when in reality he's fine. Talk to a trained professional about it before diagnosing it yourself. I hope it all turns out ok.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

I think if you are only seeing one "red flag" then more than likely things are fine. It is when you start to see numerous "signs" that you need to really look into it. If you are concerned still talk to your ped about it. Here are some other signs of Autism:

* No babbling by 12 months
* Unresponsive to his/her own name by 12 months
* No pointing or other back-and-forth gestures by 12 months
* No single words by 16 months
* No two-word spontaneous phrases by 24 months
* Any loss of language or acquired skills
* Trouble socializing with other children

They also talk a lot about inappropriate play with toys, spinning blocks instead of stacking and no interest in others around them.

So if you only see the one area of concern then I bet things are fine but for peace of mind talk to the doctor.

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S.T.

answers from Chicago on

Hi,
My son did the same thing, but he was a bit older, I think 2. He was also not talking very well yet. We did have a hearing test done to rule that out and you can get that done for free through Sedom. My son, who is now 4 has been diagnosted as Autistic. And that is not a bad thing at all, it just means that he interpits thing differently. You should talk to your pediatrician about your concerns and be persistant if you are not satified with what you are told.
I wish the best
S.

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M.B.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J.,
My son (now 4) was the same. He still had difficulty listening to his name. I think part is just his age (trying to see how far he can get away with thing) but with my son I think it is part a very mild form of autism (i think he has pdd-nos). Don't assume your son is autistic yet, he would have to have other symptoms as well. for instance the other symptoms my son has are that he has diffulty expressing his emoitional feelings, not looking you in the eye, playing with the same toys in an almost obsessive way, difficulty with change in routines. We are knoe on the waitlist to have him screened.
Maybe you should talk to your doctor. I don't want you to get scared or anything but I wish I did talk to my doctor about it at earlier. It's probably nothing.
M.

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J.E.

answers from Chicago on

get him to the dr!
J.

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