Toddler Afraid of Public Bathrooms

I'm in agreement with most of the other posters. It's probably sound of the toilet flusing that is the issue. My daughter had no problem with public restrooms until she happened to be in one and a toilet flushed. It scared her.

So now we walk into the bathroom and I let her choose (if I can) which stall she wants to use. We have a Dora potty seat that we put on top of the toilet, which is comforting for her. If I can't get her to go into the bathroom, I will resort to a bribe. It works everytime!! We also wait until she's out of the stall and then I flush the toilet (or remove my hand from in front of the automatic sensor), this way the sound isn't as loud. We always talk about the "sound" the toilet makes when it's eating/drinking the pee pee/poo poo. So she understands what's going on.

Good noticing that his acute hearing may be a real issue in not liking certain bathrooms. On a road trip where you need him to pee, what about ear plugs?

Yea, my kids hate the toilet flushing sound also. It's very echo-like in the stalls and the flushes really are loud. They especially hate the automatic ones b/c they can't get out of the stall before I flush lol.

Wondering also- he may have sensitive hearing to certain frequencies....(in reference to hearing the elevators and the stall toilet flushes). You could always have his hearing checked at his next checkup. But mostly it sounds like a little phase that started with not liking the flushes. I just posted a question about my daughter going through a phase of being scared of being alone in a room at home. Also- I just remembered a weird phase my son went through around age 3 or 4- he was scared of cell phones lol! I think just being supportive and keep trying without being too pushy would be a good idea.

Talking about it before you go (like what it looks like, what will happen, etc.) before going in the bathroom might help. As a speech-language pathologist, I do this with kiddo's that are having difficulty with things (such as bedtime routine ,etc.) or are going to experience something new (such as a plane ride) and we make up fun stories with pictures (real or drawn) and "read" the story before the situation or routine happens to help prepare them and let them know as much information as possible. Also giving re assuring phrases or choices helps. For example, when you go in a bathroom that seems scary- you can repeat with him: "I can pee then I can go" ; or tell him that he can do the paper towel or turn off the sink all by himself (make it more about the not scary part); or repeat with him "if I get scared I can squeeze mom's hand". Sorry, just rambling-
good luck with future bathroom visits!!!

My post is of no help, but it is funny!!

My 6 year old little girl still cringes and sometimes screams when the toilets in public restrooms flush. I always told her knock it off, they are not that loud. So a few months ago I get my hearing checked as a random check up and turns out I am profoundly deaf. (which my husband has been telling me for years, but anyway) I get my hearing aids and about a month ago we were out and needed to use the public restroom. The toilet flushed and i bout' screamed and I cringed, LOL!!! If you find any answers on how to get them to be a little less frightening, let me know. :)

my 4 year old does the same thing and when we were away we had to just do it beside the road sometimes he's a boy so they kinda have advantage over us gals lol!! but anyways,i am looking for the answer as well so send my way 2.

I was chuckling as I read this because my 3 year old is just getting over the same issues. I discovered the big problem was the automatic flushers and hand dryers (loud, scary noises) so if we went somewhere new and I didn't know if there were "magic" potties, we had to use the fallback portable potty in the car. Eventually we went from calling them "magic" potties to "automatic" potties and she is suddenly ok with it. I think it was more about trying repeatedly until she became desensitized to the sound. Sorry, I realize this isn't very helpful, but just know that your son will grow out of it.

My daughter is the same way--VERY sensitive to sounds. One experience with a self-flushing toilet at an airport and that was the end of public restrooms for us. I have a "Potette" portable potty. It folds flat and fits in my diaper bag/purse. I bring it EVERYWHERE with me. She will use that if we are in a handicapped stall (nice and big and doesn't feel like a stall). She's almost 4 now and it's getting better--she will ask if the toilet flushes by itself, and if it doesn't, she'll probably use it, but otherwise we always have the Potette as a backup. Saves us a power struggle and a pair of wet pants. They sell them online and at Babies R us, I think it was less than $10. You can get special bags for it that have absorbant liners in them, but when I ran out of them I just started using plastic grocery bags and a few folded up paper towels. It literally takes up as much space in my bag as a diaper or two.

My daughter didn't want to go in public because of the automatic flushers. Because she was so small, the things would activate at any little wiggle and would scare her half to death. I went with her into the stall until she was six (at her request) and held my hand over the motion sensor until she was done and exited the stall. She also covered her ears then because she didn't like the noise. Maybe you could keep some ear plugs in your purse and put those in his ears before going into the bathroom. The have disposable ones in the pharmacy section of the supermarket where the eye drops and ear drops are located. Many people use them for sleeping. If there is enough variety, your son could pick the color for HIS special ear plugs.

I also just wondered, could he be afraid the toilet will suck him in? I've heard of this with small children and the bath tub drain. Idk, just a thought.

Hope some of this helps. Good luck.

Hello Claudia-

Public restrooms can be scary for little ones. I suggest you keep trying stall type restrooms, but don't force it. Learn where the family restrooms are in your malls etc.

I'm sure he will get over it soon, if his hearing is sensitive, the large bathrooms with a lot of echo space may just be too much.

If this becomes an issue, you may try ear plugs, the would cut down on the noise, and could work.

Good Luck-

R. Magby

My youngest is very sensitive to very loud noises too like the fans overhead when you go into an AC Moore or Walmart. As he gets a little older you could have him stand just outside your stall door but tell him you have to be able to see his feet which means he can't move. For now though, I would tell him to come into the stall with you or go into the stall and pee himself but that you won't flush the toilet until he comes out and goes to the sink to wash his hands. That way you an stand in the doorway and still see him while using your foot to flush the toilet.

BTW, someone mentioned a hearing test. It is obvious that your son can hear, very well it sounds like so I don't think a hearing test is what he needs. We had an audiologist tell us there is a condition where some people have trouble filtering noises so it makes loud noises that much louder. Unfortunately, she said it isn't really detectable until they are about 7. :(

Some ear plugs or noise canceling headphones might help him to at least minimize the trauma.

has he had many ear infections or tubes in his ears....years ago there was a little boy in preschool that could not focus at circle time because he was 'listening' to the group in the other room....

Like several moms said, the first thing that popped in my mind was the automatic flushers. Definitely block the sensors with a bag or post it note or whatever is handy. But, even with older public toilet models, they can be quite loud. And being in a stall, where you would hear the nearby toilets flush could be loud and scary for your son. Try to pick one where there is a wall on at least one side, or go the earmuff route as one mom suggested. Make sure you send your son to the sink before you flush the toilets, to get him a little further from the noise. Also, if you ever fly, don't flush the airplane toilet while he is in the bathroom, those are far scarier than the public restroom ones. Good luck

My daughter doesn't like the sound of public bathrooms either.

Try getting him earplugs to wear in there to muffle the sound of the scary beast.

What about a pair of ear muffs in your purse that he could put on when the need arises? And if the automatic flush freaks him out.......keep a pad of post-it notes in your purse and stick one over the sensor. That will keep it from flushing until you actually push the button, or remove the post-it. Good luck! I'm sure he'll get more comfortable over time.

Bribe him! LOL! My daughter is 3 and hates it when the toilets flush. Like others have said, make sure to cover the motion sensor while he's on the potty. We also sing a song and she covers her ears when the toilet flushes. I probably sound like a lunatic to anyone else in the bathroom, but it works for us! To get him to go in the bathroom, keep a little piece of candy or stickers in your purse. If he goes on the potty, he gets a reward. That should help to at least get him in the door of the bathroom.