Time for Me

T.,
I left my career about a year and half so I could be there for our son. I get to be in his class and take him to all his events but that just wasn't enough for me. I talked with a few of the other mom's that worked in my sons class and all of them had a little something outside the home. Outside events from PTA groups to having a part time job. I decided to join Mary Kay as a consultant and it has been the best. I make my own schedule and that scheduled time is spent with girlfriends. I actually make a little money but mostly I have a little something that is just for me and I do not feel guilty about because I can schedule it so it doesn't interfer with my son or husband needs.

Most of all you need to make just a little time for yourself or else you will go stir crazy.

Hi T.,
I think that all SAHMs feel that way every now and then. Are you just recently able to stay at home? When I first had my first son I had to adjust to being home all the time. After having a full time job to being home was very hard for me at the beginning. Now sometimes I feel that way because I have a 9 month old that needs 2 naps a day. So we feel trapped in the house more. It was nice to just have my 3 year old that could go somewhere whenever. I go to a playgroup once a week to let the kids play together (and chat with adults). I also try and get some girlfriends together to have a girls night out once a month. I find even going to the grocery store by myself is kind of fun (who would have thought that would ever be fun). Anyway, know that you are not alone. I feel that way alot. I, too, also love being home with my boys.
Chris

I am a crafter. I crochet alot and I also do some beadwork.
Because I love to crochet, I recently found an online crochet board where I met other SAHM's who alos crochet and I just started going to a group of "young" women (so far everyone that I met with the group is under 40) who get together at a coffee house in Ann Arbor every couple of weeks to crochet together.
I am also active in some online groups and message boards and I have a Livejournal. I love my Livejournal, I can vent on it when I need to and I have met a lot of wonderful peaple through there.

I am also a scrapbooker and I spend time with my mothers of multiples group that I belong to (I have triplets). You just need to find something you like to do and go do it and get out once a week or so. There are days that I go out the door as soon as my husband walks in. I know he works two jobs and is tired but I also work 24/7 and need a break once in a while to keep my sanity. Even if it is to go to breakfast or dinner with a friend or a movie by myself. Good luck!

Hugs
M.
mom to Christina 15
Isabella, Logan and Brody 4

Hi there I no where you are coming from totally. I have a 5mth old a 1, and 2 yr old, I dont do much for me time except go get my hair done or nails done everynow and then. And well I try to put them to bed a descent time so I can have time to breathe too.. Let me no what you come up with I could iuse the advice

A.

Oh I am right there with you!!!!! I feel for you dearly. I am a stay at home single mom with three kids 4,3,2. I dont know what your situation is but I recently just started looking for a sitter thats trustworthy that i can have 2-3 hours out a month to refresh my mind. I feel so much better (although when i do it i feel so guilty) when I come home. Even mommies need a break so dont feel guilty. The spending money on me part lol i have no idea i am still wearing some of the clothes i wore as a teen cause im trying to make sure my kids have the best LOL. Hope this helps. Good luck.

Hi there,
First of all never feel guily about taking time for yourself! It is hightly needed and recommended for your sanity. I think we are better wives and Mothers if we do take time for ourselves. Trust me I know, I have 3 great kids but without Me time I'm good for no one!!
I happen to be in the pampering business and I am always looking to make new friends. If you ever want to get your nails done at a ridiculously low cost I am your girl. Takes the guilt out of spending a little money on yourself and helps you feel special and pampered. e-mail me if you are interested, I am in Clarkston. ____@____.com

C.

Hi T....
You are not alone my friend!! This is the hardest job in the world...not to say it's not the most rewarding, it's just hard! So, wanting some time to your self is not too much to ask for! When my daughter was a couple months old, I started going to a yoga class. It was so nice to not only spend alone time, but to completely relax even if it was for an hour and a half. Then, when my girl was about 18 months old, I took my first weekend away...it was hard at first, I called home about 4 times a day..but when I retured, I was a new and better mommy for it. I try and do it a couple times a year now.

Good luck and don't feel guilty...it's only normal.

I know exactly how you feel. I have a 2yr old daughter and a six month old son and some days it just seems like so much. The one thing that I have found that helps is play dates with kids around the same age. Also a mom or dad that you get along with. When you can be friends with the parents and the kids can be friends it a trip for all of you. the kids get to play and you get adult interaction, which I know some of us SAHM really crave during the day. Although it is kind of hard to find other mothers when you are a SAHM, but that is why there are networks like this one. i know I am always looking for play dates for the kids and myself :)

I had a hard time adjusting to being a SAHM after my career life. I finally found MOPS a national organization that allows you some time for yourself and to meet other mothers. They provide child care if needed. Please try not to feel bad if you need or want to do something for yourself. Don't lose yourself in all this mothering. I read article after article about how important it is for moms to spend time doing adult things that inspire and enrich thier lives. It only makes for a balanced family life and like they keep telling me, "If mamma ain't happy then no one is happy". I know you say you love being a SAHM but there is a limit to how happy that must make you. Get out there and go for it. Don't feel guilty and sometimes let the laundry go for a day it will be there tomorrow. Good Luck.

Hi I am a 27 year old mom living in Warren, I am dealing with the same thing right now. I have recently just lost my job and now i'm home with my 5 1/2 month old son trying to figure out what to do with myself. I was think of trying to get a group together to maybe start scrapbooking during the day or go for walks around the mall while it's cold outside. Or if anybody knows of anything like this I would really like to get more info. So maybe a so called play group for parents =)hehe. My problem is I really don't know any stay at home moms.So if you have children around my sons age and live in the area I would like to hear from you.
S.

Hi T.

I don’t know where you are located but I’m A SAHM with a 3 month old and a 21 month old. My sanity saver has been going to the YWCA (Normandy & Crooks in Clawson) Thursday mornings. They have a Moms group that meets from 10-12 and childcare in a room down the hall. I keep the baby with me but my older one loves playing with the “bigger kids” in the childcare. They also provide childcare Tuesday morning so you can get a break from the kids to run errands in peace if needed.

If you want more info you can call ###-###-####

Good luck!

Playdates, playdates, playdates!!! I run a daycare in our home so I LIVE for playdates with other mommies!
Anyone interested let me know???

You MUST take mommy time or you will be driven nuts! Don't feel guilty for doing this. You have to take some time for yourself in order to be a good mother, wife, etc. Every week or every other week take some time to yourself. I usually go once every two weeks by msyself to the bookstore. That's what I love to do. I get a Starbucks and spend hours looking at books and magazines. You could meet other moms for dinner/lunch... you have to get out by yourself from time to time!!

T.,
I am in the same boat. I am also a nurse and now a stay at home mom. I have a 3yr old boy and twin 15month old boys. I recently put my 3yr old in pre-school 2 times a week. He goes from nine to two and takes a nap their. That gives me time to go to the store and get the house clean or just play with the twins.
We have no family here, so we also fly home every six months and that way they can play with their cousins and play outside while it is snowing here. They are wearing shorts and swimming.
I miss working out of the house, but I also feel blessed to have these beautiful children. Our twins were 3 months early and are doing great now.
Good luck,
K.

Im not sure where you are located but MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) Is a great way to have some time for yourself and meet new friends. There is a cost of $4.00 perweek, and a $25 joiner fee (if you can not afford the joiner fee, it will be waived, no mom is ever turned away!)Moms this is open to, are from pregnancy to 5(Kindergarten). If you would like More info on this just send me a message and I'll get it right ro you. What a great way to get out and meet more moms! and plan play dates while at it ;)
Just remember never feel guilty on needing your own time. You were you, way before you bacame MOM, and you need to just add that as part of the newer you. Not make that the only part of you.

A little about me:
I am a SAHM of 3. I love a good cup of coffee, conversation, meeting new friends, volunteering, & most of all, MY FAMILY.

I can sympathize with your situation! My husband works 16 hours 5-6 days a week. He works close to home, so he is able to pop in throughout the day and sometimes helps with the everyday tasks like taking my daughter to school. Other than that, day to day, I am pretty much on my own to run the household. People don't stop to think about the long hours we as SAHMs put into our jobs. But what rewarding work! Raising children and being able to stay at home, shape and teach them is such a blessing!

THAT SAID- it can drive anyone crazy!!! The kids love that repeation that can drive us to the edge. The cold weather adds to that isolation. My first piece of advice would be to get out any way that you can alone. If you have family that can help- don't be afraid to ask for help! Or, if you have other mothers close by that you socialize with, try to set up a child swap a couple of times a month. I do this with my sister-in-law and it works out awesome! You get enough time to decompress, get done what you need to get done and don't feel as guilty on those days when you don't feel like doing anything because you know your day off will be comming soon and your kids will be well taken care of at a playdate.
As for gulit----buy The Mommy Myth written by Susan Douglas and Meredith Michaels. Although some of their views are too extreme for me, the underlying message is valid. You don't have to feel guilty for being a person outside of being a mother and your children will not suffer for it. Society and the media have turned motherhood into this unrealistic fantasy and turned mothers into guilt-ridden nutcases because we feel inadequate. Sorry to ramble on, but this is a subject that I have been through myself and feel really strongly about. Hope my rant helps!