Thumb Sucking - New Albany,OH

Be careful with the other issue of soothing herself "down there" as you say. If you're too aggressive, you can send a message to her that her body and/or those feelings are something to be ashamed of. Our society has enough inhibited, ashamed adults. You might want to talk to your pediatrician about delicate ways to address the issue or to ignore it altogether.

I sucked my thumb until I was at least 8 or 9. My parents let me go until I said I wanted to stop. From there they would do a reward system. That had 2 rewards a daily one and then a big one for when I officially quit. The small one was I got a nickle for each day that I didnt suck my thumb. The big reward was $100 for starting up a savings account. My brother sucked his thumb and had to have the appliance with the spikey things put in his mouth and it cost them $100. So after that any of us kids that sucked there thumbs had the choice the appliance or the $100 to put in a savings account for college. Hope that helps.

Which are you trying to stop? The thumb sucking or the 'down there' soothing?
I don't think you need to deal with either as long as she does them only in the privacy of her room.

I only have advice on thumb sucking. I sucked my thumb until I was 6. When I was 6 I had an appliance with spikes (sounds cruel, but it's not) put in on the roof of my mouth. I had it in for a few months I believe and never sucked my thumb after it came out. What my parent's loved about it was it straightened out my top row of teeth and was MUCH cheaper than braces. Something to look into!

This is a scary thought to me. Do you think someone touched her there? Reason for my thought I use to do the same thing as a child for years and yes as early and I do remember it was touched by various people and eventually raped at age 12 and got pregnant. Thank God I lost the baby. My mother never knew and only just recently found out about the molesting. Well she knew he exposed his self to me but a 3 year old doesn't have the vocabulary to say what was needed to say and she never got it to stop so I thought it was okay.
You could ask her using dolls and stay very calm if she says it happened. It's not her fault and it may have been a male child not an adult. Just get down on the floor with her and play dolls. Touch the doll down there and ask if anyone one even touched her that way. If she says no tell her to tell you if it ever happens. If she says yes take her to the doctor and have her evaluated by them to make sure she is emotionally okay. I still have problems from time to time.

My daughter sucked her finger until she was 4. I took her to the dentist, who I had talked to prior to the visit, and he did a check up. She had been there with me before and was familiar with the people and place. The dentist told her her teeth were very clean but asked her if she wanted "pretty teeth". Of course she said yes, so he told her she needed to stop sucking or her teeth wouldn't come in pretty like she liked. It was no pressure but just a little chat. We went to the fabric store and let her pick out 3 kinds of fabric for mittens. We traced her hand on paper, with her help, and had a friend make 3 different mittens for her hand. She got to help cut out the pattern, put down the presser foot on the machine and help with basic sewing. We put a little elastic around the wrist. By the time they were done she couldn't wait to try them. We rewarded her everytime she woke up with the mitten on and if she didn't we just said well we will try again tonight. Within 3 weeks she had stopped but she continued to wear the mittens for a while just because they were fun and because we kept the rewards going on for and additional month. She is now 10 and has her mittens in her memory box and talks about what a fun time it was.

Good luck

Hang in there! Everything I've read about thumbsucking and touching has pointed to leaving it alone and letting the problem take care of itself. If you make a big issue out of it, your daughter may feel she's doing something wrong or is "bad" for trying to self-soothe and get to sleep. My sources include Tracy Hogg's books (Secrets of the Baby Whisperer) and James Dobson (Bringing Up Boys). Best wishes to you and your family!

I think you have plenty of thumb sucking advice, so I will touch on the other. Let me first start by telling you that when my daughter was 1 or earlier...whenever she could talk, we learned our parts...and what was appropriate and not appropriate and who can and who cannot do whatever...and to always come to mommy with ANYTHING relating to a touch or attempt, or sketchy behavior from another.

My daughter is 6 now and is very vocal to me about how good it feels and how it tickles to touch it. She asks why it feels tht way and I tell her because God made it that way and that it is supposed to. Remember when they were babies, they did the same thing then. Self soothing in the private area. It is perfectly natural. For a child it is not a sexual thing, but it just feels good.

I read how someone suggested talking to her about had anyone touched her inappropriately. That is a good idea, but I wouldn't discuss the 2 on the same day, so she doesn't think you are telling her she is doing something bad. I think you might tell her (after finding out nothing has ever happened to her that should not have) that it is okay to touch herself there, but only in private. In her room alone, in the tub alone and certainly not to discuss that with anyone other than yourself. That she, of course, isn't to touch anyone else there and vice versa.

Bottom line, it is natural, and not an indicator that there has been any molestation. Let her sooth herself...and give her a lullaby CD so she has a variety of soothing things....

Good luck, it will all be just fine!

A.

I wouldn't intervene. She will be fine.

I sucked my thumb for quite a while, and I think that my mom fueled the fire by forcing me to try to give it up. I would try the referse psychology on her. Tell her she can give it up when she is ready, try a sticker chart or something. This is a habit she has had her entire life, so dont expect her to give it up in a short amount of time. She'll have to decide for herself that she doesnt want to do it anymore.

Funny you asked the same question I did at the pediatrician last week. The artical from MD Consult they gave me said to not worry about it until their 6 or 7 and their permanent teeth are coming in. They recommended if your child is less than 5 years old to distract them if doing it with something for their hands and/or ignore the thumbsucking. After 5 years of age help them to give it up during the day. They seem to think in the artical that it is best to reason with the child that they can understand cause and effect relationships. They suggest to show the child the gap between their front teeth and the wrinkled rough skin on the thumb. Discussing the unhealthy aspects of placing the thumb in the mouth when there are germs or dirt on it also. If they do not agree, they talk about working with projects, crafts, puzzles, and games to keep their hands busy on the hardest times. Character band aids work well for daytime. They think limiting tv watching during this time is a good idea. Doing it comfortably with suggestions like "guess what" and putting your arm around them during a rough period and they might have their thumb in their mouth. Incentives and Praise whenever you notice they are not sucking their thumb and they previously did. Stickers on the calendar, a dime in the bank, a snack, or an extra story at the end of the day during which they didn't suck their thumb.

They strongly suggest to avoid dental appliances, elastic wraps or splints, bitter tasting medicines because they are looked upon as punishments in the childs eyes. The one item that bothered me was if you have a thumb sucker they state that children who continued after age 4 ofter become involved in a power struggle in their early years with a parent who tried to stop their bad habit. Occasionally, the thumb sucking simply persists as a bad habit. Then what???

Well my son is 5 1/2 year old kindergartener and I am trying the incentive progam to stop his bad "habit". The other thing I made up a secret word to help him stop when I notice it during the day. We use the word dentist. My girlfriend is a 3rd grade teacher and she said that teachers help kids in elementary school because they also can get picked on by other students. I think the peer pressure part would be the best medicine but do not want to see my child go through that so early.

Bed time is going to be the hardest. They suggest joking about how the thumb sneeks in and does not know where he is going. They also state to work on the thumb sucking habits, day and night time at the same time. Ugh! Use a glove or sock puppet as a bedtime reminder. But not enforce them. They state that parents cannot eliminate the habit because the habit belongs to the child and the child must willingly cooperate and accept responsibility if the habit is to be eliminated.

Good luck.

We are going through the same thing here, 3 nail biters (including me) and 2 thumb suckers. My son is 6 and it's a big deal to me to get him to stop. I told him my story and boy did he listen: I sucked my thumb until I was 13. I missed so many slumber parties and sleepovers and I can remember crying in my bed because I was missing the fun because, for some reason, I sucked my thumb and other kids didn't. Not to mention my teeth don't come together in the middle now. My parents tried hard to help, but to no avail. So 3 days ago we put "no bite" (nasty tasting polish) on our hands. When I added a little more last night, they both thanked me.
I told them their teeth would get messed up (my six year old totally understood that and had examples of other children he knows that have teeth issues) and I told them about myself getting embarrassed as I got older. They really want to stop , but just like my own nail biting, it is really next to impossible to stop, even if you want to, without a lot of help.
As for the "Down there" problem, I have no personal advice, but it doesn't seem like something you would want to tell her not to do.

I sucked my thumb until I was 13 and I tured out ok (I think!) :) I did have to have braces, but my parents never put pressure on me to quit. If she is only sucking her thumb at night to comfort herself to sleep then I wouldn't worry about it. I would suck my thumb in the middle of the night and not even know I was doing it. There are much worse things she could be doing. Hang in there!