Three Year Old Asking the "Deep" Questions

Updated on February 01, 2012
S.B. asks from Encino, CA
9 answers

Hi Moms -

My son has started asking the important-but-esoteric questions, such as "What is love?" "Why does G-d love us?" "Who created G-d?" Frankly, I thought the first big question I'd have to answer would be about death, given that we have two elderly cats, so these questions kind of came out of the blue. So my questions for the mamas are threefold: (1) are there books out there that have developed some nice, kid-appropriate answers to some of the tough questions, (2) what have you told your preschoolers in response to these types of questions, and (3) what questions are lurking out there that I haven't thought about yet - I'd love to hear about some of your preschoolers' deepest thoughts. Finally, I should note that I am not seeking books that are based on Christian theology, though I know there are several (any Jewish-based books, though, would be super welcome!).
Thansk!

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So What Happened?

Thanks for the responses so far - please feel free to keep them coming! To those with questions about why I don't put the "o" in G-d's name, I'll quote from Dana K's response, which explains it nicely: "In Judaism, we do not write G-D's name in a place where it may be erased or discarded. Treating G-D's name with reverence is a way of showing reverence to him (and it is understood that the English G-D is not in fact G-D's name)."

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

In Judaism, we do not write G-D's name in a place where it may be erased or discarded. Treating G-D's name with reverence is a way of showing reverence to him (and it is understood that the English G-D is not in fact G-D's name). That is my assumption from the original post.

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R.D.

answers from Richmond on

You think that's tough? Wait until he asks why he's got something between his legs and you don't ;)

And it's totally okay to spell out 'God' ;)

I always answer a question with a question. So you could ask your son, 'What do YOU think love is? Why do YOU think God loves us? Who do YOU think created God?'

This way, it kind of tells you why they're asking or what they're really getting at, and you can base your answer off what they already do or do not understand.

There really are no right or wrong answers, just explain it to him however your faith goes and whatever you're comfortable saying.

They do make really cute 'Little Bible for Boys' (we have the one for girls) with age appropriate bible stories. (I'm not religious, but I like my kids to have the option of religion if they so choose). Try a Christian book store, that's where I find most of that stuff!

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M.C.

answers from Pocatello on

Check on amazon. A quick search for "children's torah" and you'lkl find several resources.

As far as "what is love" my toddler loves to read "What is love, biscuit?"

You could also try "Teaching Your Children About God: A Modern Jewish Approach"

I am not Jewish, but I totally sympathize with trying to find resources about philosophies OTHER than Christianity for children! Of course, the best answers will come from the heart. Take a few minutes and think of how you see god in your mind's eye... Try to describe to yourself how YOU "experience" him. Then simplify that and tell it to your child.... Really, I don't think kids can really "understand" those concepts completely until they are older (this young and their brains are still "concrete"- they don't think metaphorically or symbolically yet).

Good Luck!
-M.

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I love it when children start asking questions like that! Do you go to temple or synagogue? That's probably the place to get the best recommendations for preschooler books.

Jews and Christians have some theology in common, so you can tell your son that God was not created. Nobody made Him. Nobody needed to make Him. He didn't make Himself (I've heard some children say that, but it's silly when one thinks about it). God has *always* been around - always and always. He always will be.

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Why are you not spelling out GOD? Anyway, my kids are older and I'm sure there are tons of books you can get to help you. I hope you get some good responses. Good luck.

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

When my daughters ask the tough questions, I do try to answer as simply as possible. If I'm not sure of the answer then I have no problems telling them that I don't know, and then follow it up with, "Why don't we research it?" That could mean asking our priest or looking in the Bible or looking to a trusted resource online. I do have my children enrolled in catechism classes/bible study which they enjoy, and we have some great discussions about what they learn versus what I learned growing up.

If you have the chance to enroll your kids in some classes/studies, then I would take advantage of that. If you have a nearby Synagogue but aren't attending, then I would start taking them and get involved in the community a bit.

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H.?.

answers from Boise on

That is not a problem, it is a wonderful opportunity! You don't necessarily need a book to tell you what to say. What you need to do is when he asks you those big questions; buy some time by saying "Oh that is such a good question! Let me think about it and I'll tell you my answer at bed time tonight." Then comes the hard part, figuring out what you believe and how to tell that to your child. You need to really be honest with your child and yourself. If you don't know, tell him that you don't know, but then give him your best theory, something like "I'm not sure why God loves us, but I believe that He loves you even more than I do!" Or whatever you are comfortable saying. It is OK if you don't have all the answers, and you can tell your child that you are still learning too! But keep talking to him, don't discourage his questions! I love having big, philosophical conversations with my kids because they have such a fresh perspective and are so full of ideas, sometimes I can't help but think that in some ways they are smarter than me! And don’t be afraid to spend some more time looking into the big, deep questions for yourself, I think it is an important part of life to seek for new truths. Good luck!

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S.C.

answers from Des Moines on

My spinal reflex is ALWAYS to answer a question with a question! "What do YOU think?" provides FABULOUS insights into his little mind, occaissionally teaches ME an interesting lesson and ALWAYS gives me more time to thinks of an answer.....

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S.Z.

answers from Reno on

Keep it simple, clear and factual, no matter what the subject matter is. Sometimes when kids are very bright, we assume that means that they can handle all kinds of complicated, wordy explanations. In my experience, the very bright kids are the ones who really want things clear and simple.

For any kind of definition question, including for concepts like love, ask, "What do you think it means?" and expand from there.

For questions about why God loves us, a simple, "Because we are his children" should be the easiest to grasp. "Sometimes we might do things that make Him angry or hurt his feelings or disappoint Him, but He'll always love us. That's what good parents do, and He is perfect."

For those questions that don't have a concise, pithy answer, say, "That's a good question. Even people who've studied the scriptures for their whole lives aren't sure. If we needed to know, He would have made sure to tell us, but what's important is that we follow the rules He's given us, so that we can be happy and learn. Some day, maybe we'll find out."

Sounds like you're a caring Mama with a great, smart child! :)

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