There Is No Nice Way to Say It...

Updated on October 25, 2008
N.G. asks from San Antonio, TX
11 answers

My subject is "there is no nice way to say it" because in this case there isn't. We moved in to our first home about two years ago. We have good friendly neighbors that were very welcoming. A very large family lives next door and is constantly having visitors, which appears to be more family. There are always cars parked in their driveway and along the street in front of my house. Which used to bother me because they frequently parked to close to my driveway, which made for a very tight squeeze while pulling out. My issue is not the parking, it's that they almost always cut through my grass to get to their house. My yard is not going to win any landscaping awards but I do my best to keep it nice/clean/green. However, I find it difficult to watch these people trample all over it. I understand my property line starts after the pedestrian sidewalk and anything on the opposite side close to the street is the city/community property. But they still tend to cross in to MY lawn. What could I do (other then putting a fence) that will keep these people off the grass? **I failed to mention that I've tried talking to them on another issue and it didn't turn out so well. It wasn't a shouting match or anything but my neightbor didn't seem very happy. Trying to make a long story short...a large pecan tree branch completely fell from my tree on the roof of my neighbors carport. I didn't have access to remove it so I called Code Compliance to inquiry if I was responsible. I was told that if it is not within my property then I wasn't responsible to remove it. The day came when my neighbor was on his roof literally throwing pieces of the branch in my backyard and brought down a low telephone wire. When I approached him and politely asked him to stop, he became irritated and went on about how I should be the one to remove the branch. To avoid an agrument I advised HIM to call Code Compliance. Which he did and was told I have nothing to do with what happens on his property. When my husband came home from work he went over and asked him to be a little more careful and if he liked he could "carefully" throw the branches over to our backyard and we would take care of having them put out for brush pick up. That was the end of it but they haven't been too friendly (with me anyway) since. I would be more then happy to talk to them, if I knew that they wouldn't take it the wrong way.

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M.M.

answers from Houston on

I've always said if there's a problem, go to the person directly and talk about it as nicely as you can. If a person is complaining about something, they need to do something.....or quit talking about it. Best wishes! The fence did sound like a great idea! You can always plant shrubs or tall flowers there to line the border. :-)

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T.W.

answers from Odessa on

Hi!

I had a similar problem with one of my neighbors. Their pine tree has always shed its needles and pine cones all over my car-port and driveway, since 1995. I never really thought it was totally their fault, because Hey, it's a tree, and always cleaned them up myself. Then late one fall my fruitless mulberry trees (I have four, two up front and two in the back) had shed some of its leaves into their swimming pool, probably due to the wind. She actually fished them all out and, get this, threw them over an 8 foot fence, back into my yard! I probably could have handled that just find, until she informed me that I should make sure that doesn't happen anymore!!! So I cleaned up the mess from their pine tree, cones and all and threw them over her fence, they just happened to land in the pool. I just made the comment that the wind must have been very bad the night before, she couldn't say much, because it was her tree. Before that, their kids would terrorize my dogs. Climb up an 8 foot fence ans tease them! This is what makes most dogs aggressive with kids. When she did nothing about it, I caught them at it and told them it had better stop!! They had moved up to throwing rocks at them. Then I told the parents that I had it on video, and it is considered animal cruelty, and I would report them if it ever happened again!! I haven't caught them at it again. I would hope you have better luck with kindness than I did. But you may have to result to turning the tables on them....GOOD LUCK!!

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R.

answers from San Antonio on

I have sympathy for your plight. My neighbors are aways parking right in front of my house, leaving thier drive way empty and when my MIL comes she has to park way down the street. ANNOYING. Anyway, I would plant some very pointy sago palms or cactus in thier path. I think that would send the message.

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C.C.

answers from San Antonio on

We had the same issues with some of my neighbors. My husband very politely asked the neighbors if the visitors were going to be over often and told them that strange cars parked in front of our house was frightening our kids. Another fix was when we started parking our own cars along the street in front of our house which left NO room for other cars.
As far as them walking through your yard, advise the neighbors that you have had some problem areas in your yard and you are using lots of chemicals in the grass to restore it. Ask them to warn their guests so they do not step in it and drag chemicals into their house as it could be harmful to their pets and or kids. Whether you use chemicals or not...they will never know.
Whatever you do, I agree, it is a touchy situation.

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S.H.

answers from San Antonio on

If you don't feel comfortable talking with them about it, you could just put up a pretty, landscape rock border or small wall, if possible. It doesn't have to be anything big or tall, just a small (maybe 4 bricks high) retaining wall on the corner that you could place flowers around. What about one of those large, pretty landscape rocks? I've seen some gorgeous ones that really add to the landscaping.

I have some neighbors that would totally understand and others that would probably purposely trample on it, just because I mentioned it. So, I don't know what the best option is for your particular neighbor, but hopefully, there is a peaceful, nice way to resolve it. :)

K.N.

answers from Austin on

I would take 2 actions... The first, I would *politely* ask those neighbors if they would ask their guests not to walk across your lawn as you are very committed to maintaining your house's curb appeal and your concerned about tread appearing in the grass. (Honestly, you don't want to come across as too angry or seeking a confrontation because you do have to live next to these people and see them everyday. Being nice goes a long way...)

Second, you could construct a few 12 inch signs (with wood stakes, stiff poster board and a staple gun/nail gun) that says "Please stay off the grass". You don't have to keep the signs up long. Typically, they will have the same guests over at the house and it will take 1-3 times for them to see the signs for it make an impact.

As for cars in front of your house... I'm not sure I would say anything about it right now. The next time there's a tight squeeze, I'd just call them and ask if someone has 'such and such car' because your afraid you might nick it while driving out of your driveway... That conveys concern for the persons car while ultimately telling them the cars are infringing in your space...

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C.F.

answers from Houston on

I agree there is no nice way to say it. Your neighbors and their guests have no respect for you or your property. I have had this problem with my neighbors. I live out in the country and their guests drive in my yard and their kids drive their four wheelers in my yard. I've had to get on to the kids in front of their parents because the parents won't say anything to them about it and I've stood in my yard when they have company and told them that I would appreciate it if they stay off of my grass. It hasn't been much of a problem since then but sometimes when you try being nice it just doesn't work. I would try being nice first and ask the people that live there to please tell their guests not to park so close to your driveway because at times it makes it very difficult for you to get out of your driveway and I would also mention that...you're not trying to be rude, but, you would appreciate it if their guests would stay off of your yard. It's not public property! Geez! They need to be respectful of their neighbors and their property. At this point, I don't think I would worry so much about hurting their feelings about complaining cause they aren't worried about hurting yours!

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi N.-

Of course I don't know your particular neighbors, but many times the individuals don't realize what's happening or are just oblivious to how it may make others feel. It's not that they are intending to be rude or inconsiderate. If you know your neighbors and they are friendly you might be able to resolve it by simply approaching them and asking them to have their guests leave a little more room around your driveway and having them be sure to walk on the sidewalk not through the neighbors' yards. It doesn't have to be confrontational just you asking them to do a favor for you and your family.

Good Luck,
K.

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W.C.

answers from San Antonio on

There are a couple of options.
1.) Talk to the owner of the house next door and have her relay the message.
2.) Put a flower bed there. People are less likely to walk through a flower bed than grass.
3.) Buy or make a cute little yardsign. Maybe a dog holding a sign that reads, Please keep your paws off the grass.

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D.M.

answers from Houston on

I had the same problem, (except my naughty neighbors left beer cans and such in my yard too). So I went online to cheapsigns.com and made a yard sign that says, "Stay off my yard, I'll stay off your butt!" They get it so do I. Its cute, but meaningful. They don't disrespect my yard anymore.

Have a great day!

D. Mattern-Muck
Mom's helping mom's work from home!
http://www.formyrugrats.com

J.B.

answers from Houston on

Well my husband says I am "that":) mom in our neighborhood, but I would probably say something to whoever was in my yard at the time they were there. If I saw them, I would open my door and just call out to them to hang on a sec, and them just go up and ask them to please take care not to walk through my yard and then thank them sweetly ;) My neighbor is a nurse so she is at work at odd hours sometimes making her yard a great place for neighborhood kids to romp through. I saw this happening and asked them if they were related to the owner of the house. They said no and I told them they could play football in the street or in their yards but they could not be in her yard. They have never done it again. My neighbor was very appreciative and as far as I know all my neighbors like me just fine. So, if you ask nicely a few times, word will get out that you don't like that and hopefully it will stop altogether. :)

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