The Smoking Neighbor

Updated on August 09, 2011
M.M. asks from Duluth, MN
28 answers

We are temporarily renting a townhome until we can build our house (probably just one year). The bottom level of the townhome has only two windows- one in our living/dining area and one in our kitchen area (which is a sliding door leading out to a small patio). Our neighbor has a small patio directly to the right of our patio. She is a smoker and is out there constantly. The problem is that the only way to get fresh air moving through our home is to have that kitchen window open... but with her smoking constantly all that comes in is smoke. To make matters worse, our master bedroom window is directly above the patio window and we have a large fan in that window pulling air in to cool down the entire top floor. Again, all that is being pulled through the majority of the time is smoke. So do we just keep the windows closed and suffer from the heat and stuffiness? Endure the second hand smoke? Run up and down the stairs closing windows every time she has a smoke break (my current solution)? Would it be out of line to ask our neighbor if theres anyway for her to smoke out by her front porch area instead? I feel like that would be such an awkward confrontation. I understand that it is her right to smoke, and I also understand that these are the inconveniences that come with renting.....but I feel like our health is at risk here. We have three children- two with major allergies and one with moderate/severe asthma. What would you do??

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So What Happened?

Thank you for the responses so far! Our place has no a/c....but we will probably purchase a window unit- at least for the upstairs. We haven't lived here very long so I don't know our neighbor very well, but maybe as we get to know her I will be comfortable mentioning something to her. If I did I would be sure to phrase it the correct way, and certainly I would know she is under no obligation to change the location where she smokes. Obviously I know that she has the right to smoke and it's her property. Just for arguments sake, don't I have the right to have clean air in my home? Anyways, hopefully as the weather becomes nicer, keeping our windows closed won't be such a big deal. Thanks for the ideas!

Featured Answers

H.G.

answers from Dallas on

Imo you would be out of line to ask her not to smoke. Its a free world and she is at home and she can do what she wants. Im sitting here trying to think of a solution but idk. I guess just shut the windows like you've been doing? What a pain in the butt! Ceiling fans?????

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I smoke, and if one of my neighbors politely told me that my smoke was being sucked in through her air circulation system, I would not have a problem with going to another spot on my property to smoke so that it didn't end up in their home.

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S.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

We have lived almost 10 years in a townhome with smokers right across the street. I hate smoke and can't ever open my windows. I can't wait to move into a house and have fresh air. I have never asked the neighbors not to smoke because there are too many that do, and there is no where else for them to go. Why don't smokers just smoke in their own home? If they like it so much they should keep it in their own home, and not make everyone else miserable.

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L.M.

answers from Dover on

If smoking is not allowed, you could talk to the management office and have them handle it. If smoking is allowed outside, you can very calmly and nicely talk to your neighbor.

Say something like "Susie, I have a sensitive topic to discuss with you. Please hear me out and understand that I don't want you to think I am trying to be difficult or tell you what to do but I have to ask a favor of you. Would you consider smoking out front instead of on the back porch? The reason I ask is that because of the location of our windows, the smoke from your porch comes in any time we have our windows open and with allergies and/or asthma being an issue for all the kids, it is a real health problem for us." Then see what she says and go from there.

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G.T.

answers from Redding on

Turn your fan out that faces the smoking spot and then run your other fan from a window that does not have smoke, that way it really creates a good vacuum in your home and you'll get the fresh air. Otherwise, until they making smoking illegal you might want to move. You can take your neighbor to court if you have already asked that they stop smoking there and you can prove it's causing problems in your home. Try talking to the landlord if a nice conversation with your smoking neighbor doesnt do the trick.
The problem with smoking and the government right now is that Cigarettes are like 400% tax, which is big revenue for the govt. That's why they havent sanctioned it much yet. People in America are still FREE enough to smoke in their own home. I'd move if I were you, and remember to ask about smoking before you rent or buy.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Can you put a screen on the front door and open that instead?

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D.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

It happened to us. The first apartment, we postponed having a child because of that (I think she was smoking other stuff and I was sick) and finally moved out. Then the next one, my 1 yr old son had chronic cough for 5 months and I was trying to do what you did. Stay awake at night and close windows each time they were in the balcony (right below the bedroom). My husband didn't want to confront as they had their 'rights'. The owner didn't even return my call. Finally I was at my wit's end and screamed through the window asking him not to smoke as my baby was sick. I would handled it better if I didn't wait until I was dying. He said he was sorry he didn't know there was a baby and finally moved out. My son's cough stopped immediately and I could finally start handling other things. Please go ahead and request politely. Take your children along. They might be 'nice' smokers. I think we do have a right to fresh air.

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S.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

Why does the neighbor smoke outside their dwelling is a question you may ask. Maybe they have a family member with allergies or asthma too. Or they hate the smell it makes in their furnishings and think it better to smoke outside instead. So the point is if the dont want it to smell up or harm their home you could easier get them to relate to your issues and concerms with the smoke out side coming into your home from that side of the house and you don't want it either affecting your family. And could she please smoke on another side of her dwelling that may be a less issue for others. Just an idea.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

she's on her property. so really - you can't ask her to stop smoking. I would mention it to her - that her smoke goes directly into your home...

if we were your neighbors and my husband's smoke was doing that- he would want you to tell him...my husband is a polite smoker...I've known some really rude ones as well as some rude people too!! :)

If you talk to her - she might be able to move away from the house - who knows....won't know until you try!!!

If that won't work or she is a rude smoker - keep the windows closed and the AC on...

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think asking her isn't that rude. J. like she ahs the right to smoke you have the right to ask...J. do so in a nice way maybe J. say during certain hours and say you understand if she declinces and wo't be mad....I think any normal person confronted in a nice way hearing little ones with asthma were upstairs would consider changing it up....and if not atleast you tried! What matters more possibly offending someone or your little ones health? Also I'd find a way to buy a window unit either way. Maybe ask your landlonrd their opinion
also be prepared to ask her if theres anything you can do that is affecting her badly...maybe the kids are loud...once you open that can of works shes going to mention things as well

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

If this is a townhome association, I would first check the bylaws to see if there are any smoking rules. If so, then you have a basis to bring your concerns either directly to your neighbor, or through the association board/management.

If there are no smoking rules written, then I would suggest having a friendly talk with this neighbor. Introduce her to your kids. Then, after the kids aren't around, explain to her about your children's health issues. Describe their symptoms. Describe how her smoke comes into your windows. Ask her if she could help you find a solution to the problem of smoke coming into your house... If you are lucky, she will gladly come up with a solution - like smoking in a different location. If she won't...then I guess running around shutting windows is it.

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S.Y.

answers from Chicago on

I would ask in a really polite way - tell her what you told us....and see what happens. You don't know till you ask?

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Is this a non-smoking complex? Or is it allowed?
You could speak to the management, and have them handle it.
Or send the neighbor a note?

It depends, on how you frame your question and how you speak to her.
So that, no one gets in a state of irritation with each other.
Maybe mention your child has bad allergies and it affects him/her and the other one has Asthma.

Perhaps also get an air filter/air purifier for your home.

She probably has no idea, her smoke is going into your home.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

How about politely mentioning that your kids have really bad asthma/allergies and since moving here have been really bad. You are trying to help them get better and you wanted to bring it to her attention that when she smokes, it travels inside your house. Ask her is there any way you can help me rectify this? Tell her that you are trying to find alternatives, but aren't coming up with any. Tell her asking her to help was your last resort and you are sorry to make her feel uncomfortable. GL and see what she says!

M

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

Put outward facing fans into the windows facing her patio and inward facing fans into the windows away from her. That will help... though probably not completely eliminate the odor.
Other than that there is not much you can do... other than getting a window AC unit.
Good luck.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would buy a some AC units.
Seriously, you are renting and she is on her own property.
Have you tried aiming the fans OUT? This will blow the hot air out of your house and still get the air moving through.

And you DO have the right to control the air in your own home--when it's not attached to someone else's home!

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Well, I am not a smoker, and I think it is gross, but hey, you are way out of line. Move if you don't like it. You should have found out if there was a smoker next door before you moved in. And I do understand that it stinks and you don't want it in your house and such, but asking a neighbor, who pays to live where she does, to stop smoking on her back porch is ridiculous. What would you say if she asked you to open your front windows, instead of your back ones? I think you should move instead, or turn on your A/C.

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A.M.

answers from New York on

ugh! I feel so bad for you. I HATE cigarette smoke, but unfortunately you really can't ask her to smoke somewhere else. Keep your windows closed and keep the AC on. Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

You could ask her to move, but she may not, and it may make for hard feelings. But you will never know unless you ask.

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R.L.

answers from Roanoke on

Your situation sounds exactly like the one my hubby and I were in a few years ago renting a condo. Our solution was this: During the spring and fall, close the patio door when the smell is so strong we can't take it, then open it 20 minutes later when he's done (and sometimes we'd put a fan in the door to blow the air around a bit). During the summer, use the Air conditioner. During the winter, hope he's freezing his buns off out in the freezing cold. ::snicker::

Unfortunately, I don't think there's much else you could do. You could ask her to change it up if you want to, but she's probably not under any obligation to do anything about it. But maybe if your kids have so many allergies and asthma, the air conditioning would be better anyway?

K.L.

answers from Medford on

I think Id do like Lynn says. it all depends on how well you get along with her and how you think she will react. I had the same problem with a neighbor for years, but they owned their house, and smoked inside, with their doors open and the smoke came out their door, across the yards and into our windows. We shut our windows and just had to put up with it. We were good freinds and I told them how we could tell when they(3 adults) lit up, but it was my problem,,not theirs. Stinks doesnt it....

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

Close the windows and crank the AC up. I don't know how you can legitimately ask your neighbor not to smoke outside. It would irritate me too though...at least the situation is somewhat temporary.

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L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Are there any availabe units in your complex you could switch to? It wouldn't hurt to ask management.

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H.M.

answers from Omaha on

I'm sorry to say you can try and have that conversation with her but most smokers get down right indignant with such a conversation. Just like you said it's her right and she'll feel as such to. I get that smokers get hit from all directions with laws, policies, information about health they don't like... so they are in my experience usually not happy to get more "guff."

I've rented for 10 years now and have had this exact issue several times. At first I was like you and would confront and such but now if I live by a neighbor who smokes I just close the doors and eat the air conditioning cost.

Nothing good has ever come of trying to get someone to smoke somewhere else or inside in my experience besides resentment at the very best.

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K.S.

answers from Miami on

You can't stop her from smoking on her own patio. If she is throwing her cigs on the common area you have something to complain about. You can try the nice way first and see if certain times of day if she can go up front.

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

Turn your kitchen fan around so it blows outside and put a small one in the front window that blows into the house. The kitchen fan would pull the hot air outside while the livingroom one will pull clean fresh air inside. We do this with our bedroom fan also. Our window AC is in the main part of the house and turning the fan around pulls the cooler air into our bedroom from the AC.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

You will not fix the issue if the window the unit is in is over the same area, it sucks air in from around it. It will just be cooler smoke air. You'll have to put the unit on the opposite side of the house from her porch or still suffer the smoke.

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B.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Like someone else said, get a box fan to put in your window when it is open and have it so it is blowing to the outside. That should keep the smoke out. It's an unfortunate situation, but I think that could be a good solution for you.

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