The Point of MAMAPEDIA?

I do agree with you that the number of judgemental and unhelpful comments has increased, and it irritates me. I don't recall how long I've been a member of this site, but it has me listed as a Charter Member of my profile and in the beginning there was a significantly less number of catty answers. Half the time it seems like people just want to point out what others are doing wrong in their parenting rather than supporting other moms, which is what I personally thought was the point. So as others have said, you can't control the ugly people, so just ignore them. There are always going to be people who think they know everything; just shrug them off and go with the nice, helpful, supportive advice. There is still plenty of that on here--I think! : )

Yes I agree with you. I also feel sad when I see woman write about how they are mad at the other questions that are put on this site. I feel that if you don't like some of the questions that are being asked on here then DON"T answer them!!! LOL no one is forcing any of us to read and comment on every question on this site. So why get so upset at others questions? Seems silly to me. Just like you said, you asked a question and only wanted feedback on that question, not to be put down. I do love this site but man some women on here think they are in charge of this site and need to police it!! LOL

I was on your side until I went back and read your previoius post. Sorry but you are being WAY too sensitive here. The mention that you haven't run this by your husband yet and have spoke with others was used in a way to make a point to you that there IS a problem if you feel so strongly about something and haven't discussed it with your husband but have told other people. I did not see it as a personal jab at you at all.

Mamapedia is what it is-an online advice site. When you make the decision to post you are putting yoruself out there to many different opinions-many that will not agree with yours. If you do find yourself becoming sensitive to answers to your questions maybe it IS a good idea to step back and realize that its not right for you.

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I urge you to ignore people who talk like that to you. They are wrong in my book. I don't know why they talk like that.

I didn't go back and look at your thread today, but I remember reading some of your posts last night and you got some good comments. Hang on to those whose advice is helpful, whether it was pro or con on your going back to school. Discard the ones who fussed at you for asking. They obviously don't "get" the point of MP.

Dawn

I didn't see any answers that were hurtful, reprimanded you or put you down and absolutely nothing that would be in violation of the site flaming policy.
You just didn't get universal "Great idea! Go for it!" answers you were hoping for.
Apparently it's a site where people can post questions and then become outraged, and enjoy some drama.

I looked at the whole post you quoted and I saw nothing but concern for your situation. Is it possible you are reading too much into the answer?

Most of us answer how we would feel, what we would do, what would drive us in your situation. Sure sometimes it doesn't fit who you are but we don't know you that well.

It seems to me she was just throwing out some food for thought.

Are you the woman thinking about going back to school 4 hours away from home.

I actually asked my husband about it..because we were thinking about doing that in reverse..send my husband 2 hours away for law school and that is for three years.

I think it is completely do able in the since that it is such a short time for you (one year) and you will have family to help you out..one of your children I believe will be in school pretty much the same hours you would be..a year will go quickly.

You will have to schedule visits as much as possible with your husband..him traveling there and you back home..he will have vacation time and you will too (between semesters).

I see no problem with you using us here as a sounding board. Gosh, I would want some idea of what my husband might say or be objectionable to when I did speak with him...

I think you just got someone who never does or plans anything without speaking to her husband first..I like to plan and think things through before talking with my husband sometimes too.

Try not to let one person get your goat..I was going to answer your other question but had to go help my kids with some stuff.

If you do go back to school..I wish you the best of luck!! I think more education is always better than not enough..with your RN, you could support your kids if something happened to your husband or be in a position to help with college savings/savings for nice vacations/ putting kids in private school..lots of pluses to having that RN degree. Big hugs!!

You should have not been reprimanded. Yes this is site is to see what others might do, or have knowledge of.

I guess this site is for venting to (lol)

Take what you like and leave the rest.

You heard something you didn't like, but the quote below is hardly hurtful, mean, or a put down. It's a totally valid point of view based on their own experience. It may not apply in your marriage, but a lot of stuff doesn't apply when we translate one life to the next. I think you're overreacting. A LOT.

IMHO this is EXACTLY what this site is for: sharing different experiences and opinions. There's almost never a 'right' answer in life that everyone can agree on. Otw we'd only have 1 political party, one parenting style, and just marry whomever happens by, because all of us and all of our marriages and lives are identical. Differing lives and opinions keep me on this board. If everyone was like me I'd be bored to tears and never learn anything, or think of anything differently.

Some people think the point is to ask a question and than have a hissy fit if people do not give the responses you are looking for, then pull the original post. Some people think it is to advertise their beliefs. Some people just want to connect and share ideas with other parents.

Unfortunately some of the users on this site reply with little tact or regard to how their words may come off in type. We don't have the luxury of voice inflection and attitude to hear when someone responds, and that's the other part to this too - making responses somewhat unclear. My advice, and I do agree that some need to be friendlier, is to shrug off unwelcome comments. Use the helpful advice that you get from people to assist you with your dilemma, and try if you can to forget the rest. As for going back to school - I'm in the same boat. I have talked to my husband and he's supportive. Now I have to figure out if it's meant to be for my family and me or not. I agree that talking to your husband is important, but I also know that even though he's your life partner and you should be able to tell him anything, that doesn't mean you can be nervous or unsure of his reaction. Sometimes you need a bit of advice before you confide him... we're all a little insecure sometimes, especially when we're not sure if making a grand decision such as yours is worth a possible tiff between you two (or just sometimes it's nice to get an opinion from even virtual friends before you spend the great amount of time hashing it out with your husband). Good luck to you, and do what makes you feel happy and what you think you're destined for. If that's going back to school - do it! You only live once :)

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

You are absolutely right. Good for you for stepping up and sharing your experience. I, one time responded to someone that posted about reprimanding a neighbor child about her behavior and I went as far to tell her that she was a bully in that siutation. She told me how horrible I was and that I was a mean person. It did two things for me. First, it did force me to look at how I was answering the post(s) and was I being helpful or was I on my soap box hiddent by a computer? I questioned enough of the latter to work on my responses. Do I still feel that she was being a bully, yes. Do I respect her, no. However, she showed me that I was living in a negative light where positive was a lot happier place to be. Today, I would probably not even reply to her question knowing that someone that acted as she had and posted her question was only looking for pats on the back from other "know it all moms".
You have a very valid concern for your future and trying to juggle being a mom, wife and an educated woman. I applaud you for looking here to see if there are women who have been down your road and can show you their pros and cons to how it worked out for them. I personally did not reply to your original post because I have not been in your situation. I honestly do hope for the best for you. You sound like a well rounded woman who is looking to finish her education goal and that is insiring to other women and your children. I applaud you for considering yourself in the mix of your world as so many of us moms just tend to put our needs and issues on the back burner. However it works out, you have a solid marriage, wonderful kids and your parents are close to you. Good for you. Whether it be next year or 5 from now, you will enjoy your nursing degree.

Thanks again for the post! :)

Everytime I ask a question, I expect to see at least 2 or 3 judgemental, critical old biddy answers. Take it with a grain of salt. Some people are all too willing to pounce on the poster in the name of this being a "Public Forum" The insinuation is that since you asked a question, whatever is said is your own fault for asking.

I completely agree too! I have noticed that some women respond with a nasty tone or they are impolite. It's especially ridiculous when they post an opinion that has nothing to do with the question. We don't all have to agree but weren't we taught "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?!" Glad you posted this and called them out. It would be nice to see more support and less hostility.

what a weird case. it looks as if you are answering (and reprimanding!) yourself in the SWH.
mamapedia confuses me sometimes.
khairete
S.

I understand completely. I often don't answer the way the writer wanted people to respond. I do think sometimes we need to hear a totally different opinion so that perhaps it will spark some thoughts and they might be able to look at the situation in a new light.

It doesn't always feel good when it happens to us on our own questions but if everyone was saying the same thing perhaps we needed to hear it over and over....

I would totally hate living out in the boonies. I would be miserable. We have 10 acres out 14 miles from town. We lived there when we first got married. His parents retired and moved to the property. So we got a house and moved into town. A smallish town of around 25 thousand. It's so far removed from the mega city I grew up in, OKC. It's not far to home territory though. Not hours and hours to civilization like you. I feel so bad for you being there.

I hope going to school will help you find something for "you" to do. It is probably the only thing that will keep you sane in the future..lol.

Oh my gosh- I could not agree more! Even in this very post I read a comment that was completely unneccesary. Saying 'I'm confused and don't understand your post' is the most irritating thing. The point of this kind of forum should be to support and encourage each other. Yes, there are times when a poster's behavior or intentions could and should be challenged and questioned, but it can always be done in a nice way.

I hate when I see answers that just say that someone doesn't 'get' the post. And worse, when people are nasty. It says a lot more about the answerer. As someone else said, I have come to expect one or two comments from the 'bitter contention' of the group. I assume that these are unhappy people who just want to tear someone else down. Or people who just use other people to prop themselves up on a soapbox.

Sorry this happened to you. I say take it with a grain of salt, and focus on the helpful comments that you got. And maybe take the opportunity to make sure that you don't ever do that to someone else because you know how crappy it can feel.

Have a great afternoon!

I read both your recent posts, think its a tough situation and don't have too much advice on how to proceed other than maybe the husband can shed a little light into his perspective. I DO NOT think its a recipe for disaster and I commend you for trying to move forward with your own career for the future of your family. Good luck!! Otherwise, I couldn't agree more... this site can be very difficult and responses quite rude and completely unecessary. I have asked questions about my daycare provider and was hassled for considering other options, just weeks before she told me she was phasing out. Then I asked about baby names that were unique (decided not to post the common names we are considering) and oh my I was astonished at how offended others were that I may consider an unknown name for my child that these posters were not comfortable with. There's My vent.... thanks, Good luck and if you find another site that is more useful for what we expected, please let me know.

The point of Mamapedia is to make Artie Wu money.

This site is not for the thin skinned. Any public forum like this is bound to have people who are hyper critical and those who are helpful. We all hope that people will be thoughtful about how they word their advice/responses and have the intention of only giving productive advice to others, but it's just the way of people that you'll always have some that blast you. I don't let it rattle me off this site. You said it yourself... you're asking complete strangers to give you advice on very little information. No one here knows you or your situation or even all of the details of your dilemma.You have to take what you can use and leave the rest.

It takes all kinds of people... good luck mama~

This site is intended to be a place to seek information and advice. Like all things they grow and change, honestly it is what you make of it. For me it is a place to share my information, gather other's information, ask questions, and potentially alter the way people see things (myself or others).

There are so many people on here with so many perspectives and opinions some helpful, some not so much. There are times when I think I am being helpful - but others disagree - to each their own. There are some where I roll my eyes at someone's answer going "in what world is that helpful?" Again, to each their own. Someone somewhere, the original poster OR a totally random person who happened upon the question will take something away from what is presented even if you did not see the point in any of it.

I did not read the question that sparked this discussion, but I agree your husband's perspective is a valid one that will determine the outcome. I do know another thing that happens here is that people will "Piggy back" on an opinion or point of view to help "drive it home" is that maybe what happened?