The Birds and Bees Talk

When they start asking questions is when you need to start giving answers.

Please start your talk early. You don't have to go very far but tell your child what they what to know... Making sure that you tell them that NO ONE is to touch them in their place. That they need to shout when anyone touches them their & that you will protect them no matter what the other person says...
I have 4 grand babies & they have been getting the "TALKS" ever since they could talk & ask question & it saved my oldest grand daughter... She came to me & told me that someone had touch her once. We went to her Mama & it was handled very quickly.
You honestly can't tell them early enough in this day & Age... To many sickos have ruined that part of innocence.

I think it needs to be sooner, unless you homeschool. I would rather my kids hear about that from me, than some kid at school that probably knows more than he or she should know.

TPS shows the kids "The Film" in the fifth grade. It needs to be before that I would guess.

I would say before the child goes into the fourth grade. A psychologist I know agrees with this. Children talk at school -- and some will know -- let him hear it from you, not from his peers. And, most schools show "the film" in the 5th grade, and you should also have talked to him before that for sure!! Better to communicate than not. Just give him the basics, don't tell him more than he needs to know -- yet, if he asks a question, give him an honest answer -- follow his lead.

Good luck!

Do not wait until puberty! I think he needs to know when he asks, or when the topic seems to be coming up. Don't let someone else tell him wrong info or tease him because he doesn't know. Simple, clinical language will satisfy a young child's curiosity so he can move on to all the other stuff going on in his life.

Hi. I got a book out of the library on the subject of "good touch and bad touch" when my three kids each reached 9 years old. Now the experts say the age is now 8 to tell them about that. But you have to take into consideration the child's ability to understand the subject of 'the birds and the bees'. Is he mature enough? Some kids develope early, some later. You are the one to determine if your child can handle it. Do go to the library and ask the librarian for help. They can guide you to the proper books. I hope this helps. Good luck!

A.

just so you know my niece learned about the birds and the bees from another kid on the KINDERGARTEN play ground. it was shocking and her parents regret they were not the ones to explain it. by the time your kid gets to puberty your son will probably know more than we do. i suggest age appropriate talk now.

The scary thing is they know way too much way before puberty. Little boys were saying things to my daughter when she was in kindergarten that were completely inappropriate.

As parents I think we have to start talking to our kids early. Age appropriate of course but they need to know that they can talk to you about anything and laying the ground work early is the key. Has he been asking questions? If he is try to answer them on his level. Just answer the immediate question and usually that will satisfy them. Be prepared because they'll keep coming back.

Dear D.,

You didn't say how old your son is.

I posted this awhile back to a similar request:

"Our family bought the most beautiful book series entitled:
God's Design for Sex Series,
By: Stan Jones, Brenna Jones
The First One is called "The Story of Me" it is for age 3-5
The second is called, "Before I was Born" It is for ages 5-8. We also bought the last two, called, "What's the Big Deal" and Facing the Facts". We read both of the first two books to our 8 year old daughter, 6 year old son, and three year old daughter. As of yet, it hasn't been appropriate to read the third one, as it is really more for when they start asking more specific questions. My 6 year old son actually thanked me, profusely, after reading the two books to him. He took them and read them both a couple more times. Since then, the subject hasn't come up at all again.

The books handle the topic beautifully. They use proper anatomical terms. They approach the topics from a very Bible centered way - explaining God's perfect plan for us and our bodies and our future family. I can't say enough about how well written, illustrated, and informative these books are.

They can be found at CBD.com

http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?item...
and I am sure any other online bookstore. I hope this helps."

Blessings,
D.

Definitely sooner than puberty! From the beginning you should give all body parts their proper names and not avoid referring to them. Answer questions as they occur with honesty and tact as children will ask as they want to know. Answer with age appropriateness as you know your child will understand and answer just what they want to know at the time. I don't believe their is one certain time for everything at once but answer age appropriately as the the questions come without being or acting uncomfortable. When you are open and speak with confidence your child will feel free to come discuss things with you rather than JOe Blow down the street. If someone else is inappropriate with them they will be more likely to come to you if they knwo they can talk to you about everything. As a teacher I find that children who have not been in communication with their parents all along have more problems than those who have.

You need to allow the child to lead you they will ask you questions along that way, and they will started sooner then you think. I belive this way you are honest with the child without over welling them with stuff they are not readly for. If by preteen 11 or 12 you have not across the bridge of the big talk you need to do so then before they found out in ways you do not want them to.

I have a now 10 year old daughter who got her "talk" when she was 8 - third grade. My second daughter is now in 3rd grade, and I plan the same for her. We used a combination of things including the "God's Design for Sex" books, some anatomy books, and the American Girl book that, I think, is called "The Care and Keeping of You." We also did something that made it a really special time instead of a completely embarassing one. My daughter and I went out of town for weekend - stayed in a really nice hotel, ate out, shopped, etc. Since I have 3 children, time alone for a whole weekend with just one child is unheard of. So, that alone made it special. What I didn't completely anticipate is that a whole weekend would give my daughter time to consider what she had been told and then ample opportunity to ask questions without the interference of another sibling. We had the talk very early in the weekend, and then she had questions throughout our time together - including the drive home. It turned out to be a real bonding experience and I look forward to having the same time with my 2nd daughter. My son, now 5, will have a weekend with his father when his time comes.

I do want to emphasize that we have answered questions, identified body parts properly, and been open with out kids since the beginning. But, this was the actual "How Babaies are Made" speech. I'm glad we did it when we did - she was old enough to understand, but still young enough (barely) that she hadn't yet gotten too much information (and misinformation) from other kids at school.

Hope this helps!

D., my personal opinion is when they start asking questions you give them the best answer for their age. keep in mind, they've heard something somewhere or they wouldn't ask. it's important for you and your husband to be the sourse that they come to, if they can't get satisfactory answers from you they'll go somewhere else. it's a shame but kids are learning this stuff wayyyyyyyyy to early in life, so you have to stay on top of it and listen closely, not only to the discussions your child asks you to have but the one's they may have with their friends when you're in earshot. keep the communication lines open. you want to stay in control of what your child believes is truth...stay honest and pay attention. the world is wayyy to "aware" way to young. good luck...R.

Hi D.,

While we answered normal curiosity questions with our son along the way we didn't actually sit him down and have "the talk" until he was either 8 or 9. We've had numerous talks since then and it's helped that we started early and always were open and available to answer any questions.

W. Q

If you wait until puberty, your child will already know from other friends.

I think my son was in either third or fourth grade, I had a picture book and we talked a bit. I never used cutsie names for body parts -- they are what they are. We didn't just go through the physical aspects of the birds and bees, but alot of the moral issues -- I didn't use that word -- Love, God, responsibility, etc. Whenever he had a question throughout the years, I answered it -- relative to his age, of course.

Good luck,
M.