30 answers

Birds & Bees Talk - Tucson,AZ

Help moms! My daughter, Bailey, is 9 yrs old and we have never seriously discussed sex or her period. She is extremely moody and hormonal and, after talking to a few friends, I've learned some girls can start their period pretty early. My own personal experience with my mom was a huge box of Kotex placed strategically on the top shelf of my closet. That was it! So, as you can imagine, I'm clueless as to how to even begin this conversation without crying (due to my own sadness that she is growing up) and scaring my daughter to death. HELP!

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Wow! What great, great ideas! Thanks ladies so much for all of the input. You all have made me change my thinking. This is a time to cherish and celebrate instead of dread. I'm already looking for the books and planning a celebration for down the near road. I love Mamasource! Have a great day and I'll let all of you know how the "Talk" actually goes. God bless, L.

More Answers

Hmmm, this talk is always a bit uneasy but I used a book to help me out. My wonderful mother in law sent a book about the body by American Girl which you can find in Barnes and Noble bookstore. Maybe you can use it as a reference for conversation. Anyway we talked about changing body parts, boys and girls, and how a baby is made. My daughter who was around 9 or 10 at the time knew more than I thought. Try to relax and know that you have been given the awesome opportunity to educate your children in this area. I am confident that you will do fine.

K. C. Mother of a 20yr old son & 15 yr old daughter/married 18 yrs.

1 mom found this helpful

I got the birds and bees talk in Brownies... I'm sure there is something out there... Im sure it has something in it about the "TALK"... Seen it in Sam's Club..(this is the description off the web site...)

The Daring Book for Girls is the manual for everything that girls need to know, and that doesn't mean sewing buttonholes! Whether it's female heroes in history, secret note-passing skills, science projects, friendship bracelets, double dutch, cats cradle, the perfect cartwheel or the eternal mystery of what boys are thinking, this book has it all. But it's not just a guide to giggling at sleepovers, although that's included, of course! Whether readers consider themselves tomboys, girly-girls or a little bit of both, this book is every girl's invitation to adventure.

1 mom found this helpful

You shouldn't put that talk off to long. My youngest started her period just like I did at 9 years old. My oldest was 11 when she started. I bought a book that explained all facts not what they hear in school about girls and also about boys when they hit puberty. You could check out Barnes and Noble or any other book store. I did also have a simple discussion with them about the changes taking place in their bodies. I did stress that this happens to all girls and boys just at different times. There was nothing to be afraid of and if they had anything they didn't understand to please ask me and not be embarrassed. They are now 18 and 25 so I don't remember the name of the book. Good luck!!

How about getting some books from the library about the subject, age appropriate, leaving them in her room to read by herself, then have a private talk with her a few hours later to see if she has any questions?
Maybe buy her a present signifying she is growing up and ready for more responsibility, like nice jewelry or something?

I have 1 daughter 14, it's harder than I ever thought it would be. She just started her period 1 1/2 yrs ago. The doctor said look for the breast buds and 2 years later the period will start. That was just about right on. I don't think there should be "a" birds & bees talk it should be on going dialog and almost just natural conversation. My parents didn't talk about it either but I vowed I was going to say something much earlier. Start with things like deoderant and those kind of changes, share info naturally when you are having your period. ask her if she has any questions. They will let you know what they are ready to hear. You don't need to give all the details at first, just as much as she seems willing to absorb. Open up the conversation lines to make it confortable then as you go along it will be easier. I think it gets toughter to talk when they are 12 and now. If you start before then hopefully it will continue. Good luck. It's so important to talk about all these things with our kids earlier because if they don't get it from us they will find out somewhere else and we'd rather them get the right info from us. Good luck.

I have a friend who's daughter just started her period at age 11 1/2. The start of your period is called Menarchy and there are lots of ways to make it a really special time for your daughter. I would start by getting a good book about the subject from the library. read it until your comfortable with it, and then sit down and read it with her. That way you can answer any questions right away. Talk to her about how exciting it is that she is growing up, that being a young woman is something very special and being able to carry a baby is a privlidge. You probobly have some time, and you should start talking to her soon, so by the time it happens she (and you) is comfortable. When she does start, make it something really special by taking her shopping for a new outfit, or making a "woman's day" cake, or getting her a grown up peice of jewlery..Maybe a locket or a simple gold initial on a chain. Try to make it something to look forward to.
My daughter is 2 1/2 and I'm sure I'll face that day with tears too. Good luck. J.

Hi L.,

I have a daughter the same age and I have purchased several of the American Girls Books for her, including "The Care & Keeping of You" and "The Feelings Book". They have been great for her. She read through them and we talked about any questions she had, (she had plenty). I often see her re-reading the books in search of answers, she still comes to me with questions and concerns.

Some girls do start young, 9 yrs old might be a little young(really depends on her rate of maturity and to comprehend). Maybe 11yrs old might be more appropriate (unless she starts her period sooner). What I told my daughter at 11 yrs was that a womens body has a way of protecting itself. That around puberty age her body needs to start cycling it's blood to make it fresh getting ready, so when we get married and want to have children our bodies are fresh for our babies and clean for childbirth. But, my son (9yrs old)said "I know what your period is...it's a red dot in your underwear", so apparently I forgot to tell him the same story. But my daughter got it and thought it was pretty cool how the body protects itself. Hope this helps...it worked for me and I was off the hook. Whew! that was easy.

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