The Best Things About Parenting

Hi C.,
I think watching my daughter discover and learn new things is one of the best things about being a parent. Everything we take for granted in life is new and magical to a child. I was watching video of my daughter from last year and was amazed at how much she had changed! We have video of when she first learned to say "I L. you" and she leaned back against me and said "I wuv you". I had forgotten that moment until I watched it and frankly it made me cry! She is almost 3 now and has to tell me she loves me 4 or 5 times before I can leave the room at bedtime and it still melts my heart. Also watching her "mother" her babies or her Daddy is so cute and gives me insight into how I mother her. I often tell people that I didn't know L. until I had my daughter. Don't get me wrong, I L. my hubby but would KILL for this child!!! When she says "Mommy, I L. you" I forget all the frustrations of the day.
Sincerely,
L.

I'm gonna have to make a list so it doesn't run on too long...

1. When you walk into their room first thing in the morning and they see your face over the side of their crib and light up because they are so happy to see you.

2. Watching their firsts. Finding their feet, crawling, walking, swings and slides, Santa, preschool, kindergarten, reading, writing, rollercoasters, recitals, soccer games and the joy that comes with all of these things.

3. When they are old enough to really anticipate with much excitement their birthdays and Christmas. Oh, Christmas...what a magical time. From looking for a Christmas tree to visiting Santa to leaving cookies and milk out and carrots and water and reindeer dust to seeing their faces on Christmas morning. Drinking hot coco or wassel. Just writing this is putting a lump in my throat.

4. Cuddling on the couch and hearing them say "I love you". or when they are really little, it's "I wuv you".

5. If I've run an errand or gone out with girlfriends w/out the kids I find myself racing home to see everyone. And the greeting I get when I walk through the door makes me want to walk out and walk back in again.

6. Seeing them explore with crafts and activities and witnessing when they finally understand something that has stumped them.

7. Watching them love their father. He is their hero (and mine too).

8. Seeing the excitement when you announce that we're going to Grandma's house today. And the inevitable question, "Will the cousins be there?" And then total mayhem when I say yes.

9. Sneaking into their rooms at night and watching them sleep. Who knew these kids who were so wound up earlier in the day...sometimes fighting, sometimes making a mess, sometimes getting a little lippy...who knew they could be so peaceful. I can't help but take a picture.

10. Baking goodies and seeing their messy faces after they've licked the beaters clean.

11. Shaking our booties to whatever music is on.

12. I keep a document on my desktop for each child entitled Quotes by Maddie Mae or (Ellie Jo). Whenever they say something hilarious, I write down the date, the background of the conversation and what was said. We love going through those a few times a year and reliving the really funny things that came out of their mouths or memorable things they have done.

I could seriously go on and on. Yes, there are a lot of things that are challenging about having kids, but the good FAR outweighs the difficult. They don't know this now because they don't have kids yet, but tell them they will learn of a love that they didn't know existed.

Enjoy! I'm gonna go hug my kids now.

For me, the best thing has been watching my kids go from being 100% dependent on me, to becoming independent and having their own unique skills and abilities.

I can't quite put into words how it felt when I saw my 5 year old perform in her ballet recital recently - she was so beautiful and graceful, and I couldn't believe that she had come from me! I've seen her at her very worst (her entire second year, for instance), and in my mind she was/is still my baby - but to see her as her own person, as beautiful as she could be - I can't even describe to you how proud I am of her! Of course she still has her moments as all children do. But she is her own person and whoever she turns out to be, it's amazing to think I will have had the chance to witness that.

My youngest is just 3, but I had a similar moment of shock/awe/wonder when I went to pick her up from preschool and she was chattering away with one of her classmates. I said to the teacher, "Oh, she's doing baby talk." The teacher said, "No, she's speaking in Armenian." Now, we don't speak Armenian at home - but several of her classmates do, and she had picked it up all on her own at school. As a 2 year old! It took me 14 years to become fluent in French, and it took my child 6 months to become fluent in Armenian. How incredible is this kid?! How on earth did this child with this amazing brain come out of me??

So I guess my thought is, sure, every mom out there has 50 horror stories for every incredible moment. But the incredible moments so far outweigh every tantrum, potty accident, and sibling fight. The knowledge that you somehow helped this amazing little person get their start in life makes it all worthwhile!

I think the best thing about parenting is when you watch your child do something incrediably funny or sweet and you are just standing there watching, not participating, just watching them do what ever it is that is sooo sweet or funny etc and you know that YOU brought that incredible life into this world!!! And then of course there is when you cuddle them. OK I know that was corny, but when I see them doing something with their huge grinny smile or when they finally accomplish something on thier own they have been trying to do for a long time, it just makes me melt!

How can anyone articulate this crazy level of love that you get from having a child. I didn't think I would be bonded to my son because I so wanted a girl... but he came out and if it wasn't for the epidural I would have been up off that table and wanting to protect my son from anyone and everyone... just holding him.
How can anyone tell you how you will feel the first time tears well up in your eyes because your little one who has been kicking you for 9 months or so looks up at you with this helpless, exhausted look?
How can anyone tell you how his first smile and goodness, his first giggle, is going to make you melt?
Or the times that he takes your finger with his whole tiny hand?
Or the times he just wants to curl up on your chest and sleep because he knows he is safe on you?
Or watching him grow and change and become a little human right in front of your eyes?
There aren't really words that CAN articulate the love and awe that a mother has once she has a baby. I used to always say that I NEVER wanted to be a mother... that i was TOO selfish and didn't want to give up my free time... now I look back and can't believe I felt that way...and cant wait to have my next!

The smiles, laughs, and first. The tears they bring to your eyes every time you think about how lucky you are to have them in the first place! Being able to make them feel better when they do have those horror stories we tell everyone about. To know that there is a little person out there that looks like you and makes you feel better about the world we live in. I could go on and on, but I think that covers it for me...

Children are the sunshine on your cloudy days!

Without a doubt, the little chubby arms wrapped around your neck in a big hug. The overwhelming feelings of love that you just can't explain. Those toothless smiles and hearing your little one say they love you. Listening to the sound of your children's laughter, and when you have more than one, watching your kids play together and show unprompted displays of affection to eachother. Also, when they are old enough to talk, the crazy and hysterical things they come up with entertain us better than anything else. There is so much more, but those are just a few to get you started.

It changes with every age. That baby smell and even those middle of the night feedings with only you and your baby awake in the absolute quiet an stillness. Like there is no one else in the world but the 2 of you. The hysterical things toddlers say and do and how affectionate they are when they begin to see you as "their Mom". How their faces light up when they see you after school. The fun of watching all the kids discover something new on a school field trip. The pride and joy at that dance or music recital or baseball or soccer game. Watching them become aware of the bigger world around them, movies and politics and art. Seeing that first crush blossom. All the way to seeing them independant and on their own and knowing that you did your best to get them there. In other words, it is what life has always been about.

I just put my son down for his nap. He was in a terrible mood the last half hour and I was really nearing the end of my patience for him. Anyway, I tucked him in and told him to have a nice nap and I would see him in a couple of hours. As I closed to the door his sweet little 2 1/2 year old voice called out "I love you too Mommy. Good night." It doesn't get much better than that!

I think something that always stops me in my tracts is seeing a little person that me and the man I love brought into this world together! It is so amazing to see someone who looks exactly like both of us and it is always fun to notice when they do things the same as we do for the first time. I loved the first smile my daughter gave me, looks just like mine, and looking at her feet for the first time, looks just like her dads. It is truely amazing what we can create with our love!

Exerienceing the way your heart has this amazing capacity to love.

And of course seeing that gorgeous little smile she makes when she farts in her sleep.

For me, the best thing has been having someone to love unconditionally. Seeing my child simply being happy gives me joy. When they smile at you because they love you and see you as the 'world' to them is undefinable. When they run to hug you when you pick them up at school, priceless.

Cute question, and great answers, but gotta add something...

Not everyone is meant to be a parent. Some people choose not to have kids and are perfectly happy that they didn't. They instead live really exciting, full lives. I've read a number of studies that basically say people's happiness decreases after they have kids. I think there is an article in a recent magazine, maybe Time?, on that subject. Raising kids also puts a big strain on a marriage. Why is your sister-in-law questioning it so much? Usually having kids is a headlong, instinctive plunge into parenthood, based on a primal urge or need to have a baby. If most of us knew what it really took, and thought about it too much, the species would probably die out.

That being said, for me having kids is simply the best thing I've ever done. It's also the hardest, but who ever said anything worthwhile was easy? If I never do anything else, I will be satisfied with my life accomplishment in raising these three amazing people. People need to have a feeling of purpose in order to be happy, and when you have a child for at least 18 years you automatically have purpose.

My kids are my opus, my oeuvre, my raison d'etre. How's that for poetic.

The best part for me right now is when we cuddle right befor bed. And wachting that sweet little face while he discovers something new. He get so proud of himself when he figures out how to work that new toy.
A.

My favorite parts are the hugs and kisses (my son is only 17 months so they are still very slobbery and open mouthed), the silly things they do, hearing them call for mama, watching him grow and play, it cracks me up to hear my toddler attempt to talk back to me or reason with me in his imposible to understand baby language, and on and on and on.... Even most of the horror stories are funny at some point.

One thing you could do, that always makes me feel warm and fuzzy is watching the home videos or looking through scrapbooks. Watch yours with her, and I think the look on your face and most like the tears in your eyes will be enough to prove to her how AMAZING it is. Just don't tell her how much pregnancy sucks ;-)