Saying 'Bye Bye' to the Pacifier!

Updated on March 03, 2009
A.S. asks from Topeka, KS
23 answers

I need advice on what REALLY works with getting rid of a pacifier. My 2 yr old has one that he uses for naptime and bedtime. We tried about a week ago to tell him that his paci had gone bye bye and that he's a big boy and doesn't need it anymore. This didn't work. Any suggestions would be great, THANKS in advance!!!

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L.W.

answers from St. Louis on

For my daughter I took her to Build a Bear at the St. Louis zoo when she was 3 1/2 years old. She picked out the stuffed animal and put it in when the lady said it was time to. When she got upset she would hold her animal and find the spot where her binki is and just kind of hold on and rub the animal there. She still at times will hold rub the animal where her binki is when she has had a really bad day or is just sad about something. She is 5 now and it worked wonders for me. I waited till my son was 3 months old before I took her just so that there was not the getting over a new baby and loosing her binki all at one time.
I was just lucky that my son never took a binki at all. However at times I wished he did just so I could get some sleep.
I also tried cutting the tip off of hers but she still sucked on it even though it did not work as well as if the tip was still on it. So it did not help me out at all.
Good luck.

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A.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I do not know if this will work for you but for my daughter we told her that we were throwing her a big girl party, she got cake, presents, candies that looked like pacifiers but in exchange she had to throw her pacifier away at the party and be a "big girl", and it worked, the first few nights were rough but she threw it away herself and knew it was gone for good.

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

When my 2 year old ripped a hole in hers with her teeth, I told her it was now broken and she had to throw it away. She threw it away and the next few days had some rough moments but it passed quickly. Whenever she asked for it I could tell her "You threw it away because it was broken - we don't have it anymore" In my opinion, taking it away cold turkey is the only way.

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L.W.

answers from Kansas City on

My son (now 30 months old) just finally quit using his binky a month ago. I had been trying to decide which to do 1st: toddler bed transition, potty training, or the paci (and with a baby due in 3 months, which I would prefer to wait for to avoid regression). Then one day he started testing my limits and kept taking a paci from a friends baby. I told him if he touched it again, I was sending his home with her. He looked right at me and touched her binky to challenge me. I took that as my que that the decision had been made for me - the binky 1st! I "sent them home" with the friend and we had 2 rough nights, but by night #3, he was back to his old self. During the transition, I just talked to him patiently and reminded him that he was a big boy and had made his own choice, that it was okay to cry and be sad and he could hug his stuffed animals if it made him feel better, but the binkys are gone. At one point I went in his room as he had been crying calmly for a while and asked why he was crying. His reply was classic: "Well, you said it was okay to cry, so I am crying." He still hugs his stuffed toys when he has a rough day or gets hurt, so he has transfered the attachment elsewhere. Good luck with the transition and just remind yourself that the pain is temporary. As long as you stick to your decision once it's made, you'll all be better off.

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D.R.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi A.,
My son was incredibly attached to his binky (pacifier). He had only had it at naps and at night since he was about 9 months old, but it was really important to him to have. It turned out to be his lovely, so to speak. He emotionally attached to his binky instead of attaching to a blanket or stuffed animal. So, when he still wanted it (required it basically) at 2 years old, we finally had to take action. He is a clever fellow, and would not be tricked by holes in his binky – trust me, he’d have still wanted it. And, he wasn’t interested in the least to offer it to a baby – it was his binky and he was holding on to it!

So, here is what we did. We started talking up a teddy bear. He didn’t have one, and I would point them out in books and talk about how nice it would be to have one. Then, one day, he took the bait and asked if he could have a teddy bear. I told him that we could go to the bear store to buy one, but that they cost some money and 3 binkies (that is how many we had in the house!). We talked about it for several days and I reminded him each time that it would cost some money and 3 binkies. Finally, he seemed ready and convinced so we went to the build a bear workshop in the mall. He tried out each bear by hugging them, and we made a huge deal out of this being his choice. While they were making the bear, I approached the guy at the register and explained that when we come to buy the bear, that he should tell us the cost and then also tell us it cost 3 binkies. He was great, and played right along. When the time came, my husband handed over the money and my son handed over the binkies. We left, and then I circled back to pick them up from the store. I won’t lie, it was rough and he started regretting it almost immediately – we didn’t even make it out of the mall before he started asking to go back and trade the bear in for his binkies. But, we told him that once we gave the binkies to the store, they belonged to them – we couldn’t take them back. But, we agreed to name his bear Binky Bear. And for each night after that, when he got sad and wanted his binky, we told him to give his Binky Bear a big hug. Honestly, sleep has never been the same since the binkies left and he is 3 now, that is how attached he was. But, it got to be his decision, he received a replacement lovey, and we were able to move forward and not fall back into the binky trap!!!!

Frankly, I didn’t have the heart to go cold turkey on him. The binky is a symbol of his babyhood, and I didn’t want this transition to be traumatic for him – or for us. Plus, I think anytime you can empower your kid to make a good decision, that is better than forcing them through it.

I am sure you will find the right solution, but this one was defiantly one I can still feel good about.

Good luck! D.

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

As the previous posts said COLD TURKEY! I took my sons away when he was 2 - enough was enough. lol. I had tried once before to get rid of them, but since I still had them I caved in. Just throw them away whether you have your child do it or you do it. Otherwise, if you have them somewhere you will more than likely cave in because it is easier to give them the paci than to deal with the fits/sadness (not judging - I've been there and have done that!). Good Luck! :)

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A.D.

answers from Springfield on

What we did that worked for both of our boys was cut the tips off. Do it when he cant see you and then tell him its broke. Kepp giving it to him even though its broke and he will eventually tire of it.

D.H.

answers from Kansas City on

My youngest was a paci baby and it was not an overnight thing. Like you, she only took it at night and naptime. We cut her off at naptime and let her keep it at night time for a few months. By this time she was down to two pacies. When we felt she was ready to release the night time one, I took her paci out of the dishwasher and because she had chewed little holes in it, it had some mildew forming in it. I showed it to her and told her this was her last one and and it was nasty. I gave her the decision that if she wanted to put the nasty paci in her mouth she she could keep it, but if not she had to throw it away. She didn't know there was another in the drawer, and we didn't tell her. She chose to throw the "natty" paci away. When she wasn't looking we threw the other one away too. Since it was her decision she was okay with it. I still remember her walking up to the garbage can and saying "yuck, natty paci" and I can still see her thowing it away. It was very sweet. She even told it bye bye. I hope this helps you even a little. Good luck and God Bless.

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J.R.

answers from Kansas City on

I feel your pain...I just took mine from my one year old yesterday...I always get rid of them earlier rather than later so that they don't understand the attachment part. That being said, I got to where you are; naps and nighttime and then just went cold turkey. My daughter was pretty fragile yesterday, but slept just fine at night. She fought her nap today for about 5 minutes, but gave up even quicker than naptime yesterday. My advice is just gather them all and put them away or trash them (wherever your son can't get to them). It will suck for a few days but after 3 days or so, it's over. Best of luck, I know how frustrating this can be. Be strong!

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S.D.

answers from Topeka on

I have 2 kiddos my son never took to the paci my daughter loved it and well she will be the one to steal it from her baby sis when she arrives.But this is what I did took it away and didn't let her have it again she cried but not for very long but this was when she was a yr old or so no older.I have heard of other moms cutting the nipple off and having their baby try to suck on it but then the mommies always told them it was broken and needed to be trashed and that was it.

J.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Kind of along the lines of the people suggesting giving it to a baby, if you don't know someone with a baby, this might work. My OB told me that she got a balloon and tied the binky to the ribbon with a note that she had written from her daughter saying how she had loved her binky but was a big girl now and was ready to pass it on to a baby who needed it. She and her daughter went outside and her daughter let the balloon float away. She was sad for a day or so, but got over it pretty quickly. Good luck!

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C.C.

answers from St. Louis on

I just saw an episode of Jon and Kate plus 8 about this! On the little kids' 3rd birthday, the plan was to give their pacifiers to their baby cousin because babies need them and big boys and girls don't. The little cousin came over and they all took one last suck and put them in a zip lock. Then that went to the baby. Kate said that she was surprised that they didn't have any trouble at all after that. So, you might find someone you know with at baby, and let your child give his pacifiers to the baby and let the baby take them home.

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H.D.

answers from Topeka on

When my daughter was 2 1/2, I decided we'd start breaking her of this. We used at nap and bedtime until one day we "lost" it. She still had a blankie so she still had something familiar to sleep with. We had a couple of nights that were kind of rough but after that, it was fine. But when we "lost" it, I did keep it on hand for my own sanity just incase it was impossible to get her to sleep but I did it on a Friday so I'd have all weekend to deal with little sleep and it worked.

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D.R.

answers from St. Louis on

I was pregnant with my second son when I was trying to break my oldest of his pacifier. I finally told him one night that his baby brother would be needing a pacifier when he was born. He popped it out of his mouth, looked at it, and handed it to me. He never asked for it again!
(My mother said that she told me a similar story to break me of my pacifier. She said that the baby across the street needed one, and I surrendered mine!)

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R.C.

answers from Kansas City on

Hello A.! My sister when throught this about a year ago and it only took a few nights to get rid of it. What she did was cut off the tip little by little every night. Her son would tell her it was broke. She said she couldn't fix but if he wanted it he could still have it. He didn't want it after that and just kept saying it was broke. After a few nights he just didn't want it anymore. If you cut off the tip it eliminates the sucking sensation they like. Hope this helps..Good Luck!

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T.M.

answers from St. Louis on

We did the "paci fairy" and told my son how she was going to come and take all of the pacifiers for other babies out there. We really played it up and had the 'fairy' leave a present for him after the paci's were gone. He was really excited about the present and was only upset that day and was fine after that. Good luck.

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S.S.

answers from Lawrence on

We just went through this with my 2 year old daughter three weeks ago and I agree with all the prior posts. Although, I would like to add that the time has to be right for you (not society's) b/c when you do it, you should not turn back. Once the decision is made to take it away, you need to stand by it and not give in. My daughter only used it at naps & bedtime. Then, when my daughter wasn't looking I cut the tip of the nipple off. When she was getting ready for bed, she put it in her mouth and immediately pulled it out. We told her it was broken and that she needed to go throw it in the trash. I think having the child actually throwing it in the trash is an important step. Let me tell you, it broke our hearts to see her crying about throwing away her pacifier. However, after about 4 days of some "rough spots", it was smooth sailing. Here we are 3 weeks later and I'm so happy that we did it. So, be strong and the rest will fall in to place. Good luck!

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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

I have never had to deal with this problem because none of my children ever were willing to use a pacifier...but...I did have to break them from the bottle. What I did was "leave them at Grandma's" when we went there for a visit.That way there was no way we were going to get them ( Grandma lives an hour away)....and we just had to go cold turkey. It will be un-nerving for a day or so while he gets used to it...but..."this too shall pass".
I also like the idea of having the child throw it away...I would do it on trash day...talk it up big...about what a big boy he is and that big boys don't use pacifiers...then have him take it and throw it into the trash can...that way it is out of the house and there is nothing there for you to cave in with!!!
Good luck...and get your ipod out to listen to music while he cries himself to sleep the first time or two!!! lol
R. Ann

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C.W.

answers from Kansas City on

The cutest way I saw done.... Tell your son that there is a baby in need of pacifiers, then have your son go around and collect up all of his to give to the new baby that is not in your home. Then once they are collected, have him give them to the parents of the baby and let him tell them why. Of course you might want to give the parents a head's up so they take them and show gratefull emotions to your son.

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D.M.

answers from Anchorage on

Hi, I just went through this exact thing with my 2yo. I told him when he was ready we would mail his pacifiers to my sister (she is having a baby) and she would mail him a present for being such a big boy. I got this idea from her but her son left his for the "Pacifier Fairy". I mentioned every once in a while and after about a week he came to me and told me he wanted to send then to her, so we gathered them up and after one last suck on each one he put them in and envelope, "wrote" her name on it and put it in the mailbox out front. Later when he asked for it I reminded him that the mailman took them and he would bring him a present the next day. The next morning him went to the mailbox and found his gift and was so excited.

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K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I did the "Binky Fairy." I'd tried sooo many other things before that and they just didn't work. This time she was down to 3 binkies in the house and only at naptime and bedtime. I told her that the binky fairy needs the binkies to give to the other little babies and that since she was a big girl now she didn't need her binkies anymore. We placed one binky under her pillow and she woke up to a little present from the binky fairy. She was SO DELIGHTED that she willingly went to bed and put her 2nd binky under the pillow on the second night. She got another little present.

She was DETERMINED to give up her last binky even though it was a struggle for her. I told her the last binky got an even bigger present and she sucked on it for a minute and then put it under her pillow. She cried off and on and would take it out and suck it for a few seconds and then put it back under her pillow. I asked her if she wanted to wait until the next night and she determinedly said "NO!" so under the pillow it went. She finally fell asleep and woke up to a bigger present from the Binky fairy. She LOVED IT! She occasionally said she missed her binky but she was so proud that she was a big girl now.

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S.W.

answers from Columbia on

My son had a pacifier that he really loved at nap and bedtime which was the only time he got it. When he was 3 one got a hole in it so he threw it out. Somehow all of them got holes. We did not have any problems about it since he threw them out himself. Don't know if this will help.

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B.A.

answers from Kansas City on

A friend suggested to me that we cut the tip of the nipple off. Luckily, our son gave up the bink really easy around 18 months old and we didn't have any problems. (He's now 2.)
I know in the middle of the night, when all everyone wants to do is sleep, it's tough not to give in. Good luck!

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