Telling 4 Yr Old About a Miscarriage

I like the idea of simply telling her that the baby wasn't able to finish growing enough to come be her brother or sister.
I wouldn't lie to her and tell her that there was no baby after all. Kids know when something is wrong, and if you try to pretend that it isn't, she's going to know that you're not being honest.
When you get pregnant again, I would wait until you began to show before telling her. By then, there's less chance of something going wrong.

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I went through the same scenario when my son was about the age of 5. I explained to him that the baby in my tummy had became sick and didnt make it. My son looked at me and then his daddy and asked " the baby died?" I said yes. He understood and said thats okay you guys are gonna give me another one soon. That worked for me. Let me know how it goes. I sympathize with you completely. :)

A little about me: I am married to my best friend and have 4 beautiful children. My miscarriage was between #2 and #3.

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I am so sorry about your loss I know it must be hard to ddeal with. I would tell my daughter the truth on a level she could understand, I would also tell her it is ok to be sad for a while in fact Mom and Dad are. I would get three balloons and write a massage on them and let them go to heaven for your loss , this way you can all say good by to the baby as a family.

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Dear J.:

I am a mother of 4, 2 preschoolers. When my 5 years old girl was almost 2, I had a miscarriage, another before having her.
It was different because a year or 2 at that age makes a big difference but I can share my opinion more as a teacher than a mom. Some 4 years old are capable of understanding lots of things, you as a parent can tell where is your daughter right now in terms of social/emotional maturity. It helps if you have Christian believes. You can tell your child that for some reason that you don't know, the baby had problems and died but he/she is in heaven now, and some day we'll see him/her.
That in the future, with God's help, she'll be able to become a big sister!
When it happened to us, our daughter was too young to understand and we didn't feel she needed an explanation. When she was 3, she enjoyed having a little brother.
Whatever you decide to tell her, give yourself some time to get stronger, make sure to eat healthy, have a healthy weight, take folic acid and a multi-vitamin, if you don't exercise, start an exercise routine before trying again; From 6 months to a year, it does help the body. Sometimes women, and even doctors, overview miscarriages, and our bodies can really use some TLC after that kind of experience, our emocional area needs attention too!
God bless, and hope you'll find just the right words, I will keep you and your family in my prayers!

R.

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J., I've had three miscarriages. First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is.

If you are Christian and believe in Heaven, you might consider telling your daughter that the baby went to live with Jesus. This is what I did when I lost my babies. We all grieved, but picturing the baby in Jesus' arms, really helped. Your daughter might be sad, but she will understand.

Having a miscarriage has nothing to do with your ability to conceive. I've had three miscarriages - but I've had two chilren since the with no problems.

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Hi J.,
This happened to my family about 2 years ago. My husband and I struggled with how to tell our daughter and decided to offer her short answers, and wait for her to ask for more detail. We began by telling her that God took the baby to be with Him. It took a little time for her to process that, but a short time later she did have some questions but it was easier for us to answer at that point. We kept our replys short and only offered a small amount of information each time. All in all she only asked 3 or 4 questions about it. We now have a beautiful 7 month old boy and she dotes on him constantly. I wish you and your husband well, and I'm sure that together you two will find a way to share this news with her in a way that is appropriate for her and comfortable for you. A.

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I suffered a miscarriage when my son was 3 1/2 years old so i understand what you are going through. My husband and I were in the process of divorcing at the time so I had a "double whammy" to deal with. Talk to your doctor and see if they have any pamplets or maybe ask if a local bookstore has a book on helping young children deal with loss. In the meantime, explain to your daughter that sometimes unborn babies get sick from things we don't know about and God decides to call them back home to Heaven so they can stay with him as an angel (cherub) and that while, this is a sad thing, she will eventually get to see this baby in Heaven one day and that the baby is watching over you all as a very special angel and that angels are taking good care of the baby while he/she is in Heaven because God has a special nursery" for the babies He keeps there. If she needs to say goodbye, point to a star in the sky at night and tell her that is the star God picked for the baby to shine on you and allow her to say her "goodbye" in her own way and her own time. Tell her there will be another baby, specially chosen by God to come one day and be a sibling to her. I hope that this will help ease all of your pain somewhat because I know that the loss of a child is never fully grieved but take comfort that this little angel is in Heaven with God and is truly looking down on you and your family and that you will get to see him/her again one day.

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Hello, J.
First I want to sa don't beat yourself up over this, this is very common, I lost a baby also, but soon after got pregnet again and carried the baby fine, an delivered fine. sometimes God has different plans and different timing then we do, And I know we don't understand now, but I believe one day we will. Talking to your little girl not only opens that door of oppurnity to help add to your realtionship with her it also adds that trust, I believe if they are old enough to ask they are old enough to know the truth. however explain it to her on her level but be honest. So many times I think we miss the oppurnity to teach our childen something about life and we are afraid because they begin to ask unusual questions at at very young age, but when we don't have the answers for them, it seems like there is always someone in the world who tries to answer all the questions and solve all the issues in todays homes, but may not explain it as we parents might! I try to answer all questions for my childen, to the best I can, I don't want that left up to someone else. even if you think she is not listening and she is in the same room, I can asure you, she knows that something is going on, we don't give our children the credit they deserve.I remember my parents NEVER discussed anything with me, I learned about that time of the month through my school. so I believe you both will gain something from this discussion, it's just in the way, and the words in which you do that. I will be praying for you, I know God will grant you strength, and peace. And I pray you find the right words so that her little heart will understand. that she will understand sometimes we loose things, and people we love, and it's okay to be sad.and that it doesn't mean she want get to have another brother or sister one day. Blessings to you and your family

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I have 5, and had a miscarriage when the youngest was 3 and the oldest 9. During a dr visit, the dr said there was an echo on the screen (heartbeat) and since we could not tell the kids if it would be a boy or girl, we called the baby echo. It stuck even after the miscarrieage. We talk about Echo very openly. My youngest still will bring it up and sometimes have tears, but we were very honest about our feelings. I tried not to fall apart in front of them, but they knew and it helped them for me to talk about my sadness and how it is ok to be sad, but to accept God's will and go on. We also had family prayer thanking God that we got to experience what we did (ultrasound, heartbeat, excitement, etc) This also helped the kids and us.

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I am so sorry. I understand as I too lost a baby. I was 5 1/2 months and already so attached to her; it was devastating. My daughter (Isabel, 7 at the time, now 8) is so smart and perceptive that she knew early on that I was pregnant. She actually asked me if I was pregnant when I was just 2 1/2 months. That same night she asked if she could read a bed time story to the baby and she read to her every night after that. My second daughter, Gabrielle Kendi Harris, died from what the doctors called a "lethal skeletal displaisia." When I lost her I was in the hospital for two days and very weak and in pain for several days after so there was no hiding it from Isabel. I told her that the baby was very sick and that she was not able to live and that maybe someday God would send a healthy baby to be her brother or sister. She was very sad because she had already become so attached reading to her every night and everything. She cried and wanted to know why she had to be sick and I told her that that is just how things happen sometimes. She stayed upset for a few mintutes and moved on. Every once in a while she will say she wasnts a sibling and she misses Gabrielle but for the most part she seems fine. I think kids are much more resilient than we give them credit for and as their parents it isn't our job to shelter them from life and the "difficulties" it brings but to teach them how to deal with them. Let her know it is ok to cry if that is how she feels, or to feel whatever it is that she feels and then show her how to keep going. I will be praying for you all.

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J.,
I am so sorry for your loss. How far along were you? Perhaps try telling her that the baby has gone to be with the angels. Of course she is going to ask why--and this by far will be the most difficult question to answer since we ask this question ourselves in a situation like this. I don't know if you are a religious person, but I would tell your daughter that God just wasn't ready to give the baby up yet, but that he will send another baby brother or sister for her later on but we just don't know when. When you do get PG again, I would wait to tell your daughter until you know everything is safe--that way she is not having to deal with it again at such a young age. HTH. I will be praying for you.

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I would tell your daughter that her baby brother or sister is up in heaven with God. You can have her draw a picture and tie it to a balloon so that the baby can see it. I probably wouldn't bring up the possibility of having another baby brother or sister just yet, but if she asks about it, you might tell her you are going to try soon. Hope this helps!

I just wanted to say Im sorry for your loss.Be strong,It will happen when its meant to.Good luck talking with your daughter about it,kids understand alot more then we give them credit for.It would be right to just be upfront with her instead of making up a story,just candy coat the truth a lil;)She'll be at peace with it in time,just as you and your husband will be.
Take care!! ~M.~

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Because that is what it really is (and sometimes people who haven't had one don't understand). Even though you didn't know the baby, it is so hard to let go of the hopes you have to meet it, know it, and love it. I lost a baby when my daughter was 2.5 years. She knew about the pregnancy and understood mommy and daddy were sad because the baby went to heaven. That what we believe, and what we told her...that God loved the baby as much as we did and He was taking care of it in heaven. I remember her putting her hands around my teary face, looking in my eyes and saying, "Don't be sad. Jesus make you feel better." I think there is a lesson there in adversity and love.
Don't loose heart....I later found miscarriages are very common and I have heard of so many cases of people conceiving shortly after their loss. That was the case for me as well.
Wishing blessings to you and your family.

Sorry for your loss. I know my miscarriage was harder on me than I ever thought it would. I think especially for moms, once you're pregnant, you mentally and emotionally make a place in the family for the baby. For a little while, that place seems empty and you grieve.

As far as your daughter, I wouldn't explain anything right now, especially if you're planning to try and get pregnant soon. It's too much for her to understand. If she asks about the baby, I'd just tell her that there's a still "long time" to wait (at 4 a week is a long time), but that you and Daddy are excited, too! Hope it helps.

First of all, I want to tell you how sorry I am about your miscarriage. I don't know how far along you were in your pregnancy, but if it was early, know that it is a very common occurrence (even though that doesn't make you feel better). It happened to me years ago and it recently happened to my daughter in law. Remember that it is "supposed" to happen when things are not exactly right in your pregnancy process. It's a Blessing in disguise. Be honest with your daughter and she will take in "only what she is able to understand." Tell her that this happens when things are developing in a healthy way and focus on your future hopes. Don't frett and stay melancholy around her. It's not fair to her when she is too young and immature to understand the emotions you are experiencing. I would try and make it a simple explanation and then TRY to move ahead of this very sad experience. That's when your friends can be there for you.

J.,

I do sympathize with your situation, a miscarriage is never easy to deal with, when it's your own or a close family member or friend. My sister-in-law and her husband were having difficulties conceiving to start with, they tried for 4 years to get pregnant ... going through testing and all that jazz, they were finally able to get pregnant through artificial means....When she called me, she told me the good news and then told my children who are 3 and 4 that they would be having a new playmate by the time my 3 year old turned 4. 3 weeks later she had to go through a DNC because the baby was not developing and the doctor decided that for her health to take the baby. My sister-in-law told my little ones that the baby died and I explained to them that they would not be having a new little cousin to play with. Now saying that, we found out a month later that she was actually able to get pregnant on her own without the help of fertility treatments or anything like that.........Because it was so quick, when we gave the news again, my 4 year old is disbelieving that his Aunt Bonnie is going to be having a baby now.......Because of this, I kinda regret telling them that she wasn't going to have a baby.....I suppose though, they'll get a surprise in September when they actually meet their new cousin for the first time. :).

I guess all I'm saying is don't rush it....because you never know what the end result will be if you tell her and then get pregnant again right away.....she may not believe you. I'm not saying hide it from her, I would just give it a little time, to see if you get pregnant again.....I do agree, however, that everything happens for a reason and that children can definitely handle more than we give them credit for.....alot more.

First let me say I am so sorry about your miscarriage. I had my first one at the end of December right before Christmas. I also have a four year old that is extremely excited about having a little sister (he just knew it was a girl). We have just begun trying again. I'm not sure how far along you were so I don't know if this would really even be an option for you. I was only 8 weeks so I had no physical evidence of being pregnant. My husband and I decided to spare my son the news since he has no real concept of time. It is extremely hard at times because he does still talk about the baby in mommy's tummy from time to time. My son has experienced death with great grandparents but I worried about trying to explain this to him since he had not actually seen the baby so it would be hard to understand how she went to heaven with baby Jesus. I don't know if we are making the right decision or not but I felt there would be no good in telling my son and causing him the disappointment. We could be completely wrong in handling it this way but this is what we felt was best for our family. I hope to be pregnant again soon and then there really will be a baby in mommy's tummy. I hope this has helped some. When we were discussing telling my son, I was going to tell him that the baby had to go back to get stronger and that once the baby was strong enough God would put her back in my belly. I found several websites concerning talking about miscarriages after we had ours. My prayers go out to you and your family. Just remember there is no right or wrong answer in this matter. You need to do what is right for you and your family.

I too had a miscarriage when my kids were about that age, I knew they wouldnt understand the whole miscarriage, so we told them the dr made a mistake mommy wasnt pregnant, not saying that it was the right thing to do but it worked for us!!

I advised my 5 year old son that the baby in mommy's belly was sick, and it's heart stopped beating, so it died. I explained that the doctor had to take it out of my belly, so I had to go to the hospital. I assured him that I was ok, but I explained that I am just sad about it and that is why I may be crying more than normal. He came and gave me a hug and said, "Mom, well you still have me!" I cried even more. I explained that I am sooooo happy that I have him, but I was just sad because I wanted to have a baby brother or sister for him to play with. He was so sweet and has been fine with that explanation. Good luck!

J., I am a 45 yr. old mother and grandmother and I also am a Christian. If the time has come to tell her about the loss of the baby then your husband and yourself pray and ask The Lord to give you the words to say to her. This is not an easy thing to do and sometimes the best way to tell is just by saying the Truth. I would tell her as little as possible of course in order to keep her from being confused but, J., sometimes our children can handle situations better than we do. I will be praying for you and let me know what happens. Yes, he will give your family another child in His Time...R. B

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too had one miscariage between my 1st and 2nd child. I was so glad I had my 1st born to keep me smiling during that time. Your 4 year old is able to understand that "sometimes something goes wrong in the miracle of making a baby". "Something wasn't working right and this baby just wasn't able to come be your new sister/brother." She will be a little sad and she may ask some unusual questions as she tries to make sense of this in her mind. Just answer then as honestly and as simply as you can. It is okay for her to see you sad, but I would try to avoid being completely distraught in front of her. It can be frightening. Just a thought . . I didn't tell my older child until I was obviously pregnant ( 4 or 5 months). Nine months is a long time for a child to wait, so the excitement comes faster if they are only waiting 4 or 5 months too.

When a miscarriage occurs, probably one of the most difficult and most painful tasks is that of breaking the news to family members You don’t have to go into a deep theological explanation about the loss. In fact, many times you will feel as though you have no logical answers about the loss. It’s okay to simply explain that baby brother or baby sister is no longer inside mommy’s tummy, but is now in a different safe place with God. Try not to use words or terms above the age level of the child’s understanding. Especially remember that when a child learns about death, it is an abstract idea and often an impossible concept for a young child to comprehend. Try to keep your explanation simple.

Don’t imply that the miscarried baby went to sleep to be with God. That can be scary to any young child. When nighttime comes, there might be a real fear that if mommy or daddy falls asleep, they will go away, too. Again, be careful what words you use when explaining death to a young child.

Try to be honest, and identify with something familiar to the child. Perhaps the child has had a baby kitten that died. The feelings of sadness and loneliness will be easily identifiable, and the child will understand that while he will always remember the little kitten, the kitten is no longer living with him. That explanation will help the child understand the concept of missing someone through death.

Allow the child to talk and ask questions. Children will ask questions that are age appropriate, so that makes explaining the loss a little easier. It is not necessary to go into gestational age development when a child doesn’t have a clue. That explanation can come at a much later time.

Leave the door open for future questions and be watching for any signs of anxiety or depression. Because parents are often caught up in their own feelings of loss and grief, My prayers are with you!

C. Safford
www.momstakeaction.com
Moms Helping Other Moms to a brighter future..

I had a miscarriage when my daughter was three. My husband and I told her that God decided it just wasn't time for the baby to be born and that we would have to wait a little longer than we thought. We really didn't go into detail about what happened. Although we were very upset we tried to keep most of that from her. She accepted our explantion and several months later I got pregnant again.

My heart goes out to you and your husband. Good luck.

sorry about your loss prayer does wonders and there is alway a reason for everything even if we don't know what it is. tell her the God needed the the baby more to make you his angel and I am sure you are going to try again

Just want to send my sympathy. My daughter had a miscarriage at 6 months. She had a little boy who was 2 so it is a little different with that age. It was really hard for her,, lots of sad days, but with the love, support and God's help,, she got through it and now has another little boy. She had lots of problems with him,, so the dr. told her to not have anymore,, but she wanted a girl so bad,, they adopted one. She is 2 years old. I will pray for you,,
God will give you another, just be patient.
B. S. Athens, al

I went through the same situation, my daughter was 3. My husband and I just stopped talking about the baby. She did ask once and I told her that the doctor was wrong and that there really wasn't a baby in my belly. It worked for us and 6 months later we got pregnant again, we now have a bouncing baby girl...7 months old.
Good Luck!!

Hi J.,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, I know how you feel as I had a miscarriage also. I am 60 now but remember it like yesterday. My son was 4 also. The way I handled it was I didn't mention the baby again til he did, then keeping it simple, I told him the truth. That our baby had gone away but that we were going to get another one soon. That our baby had gone to live with Jesus.
As precious as the idea of telling a little one of "a guardian angel" is.... I would steer clear of that as children don't really understand the concept of a guardian angel ,,,, kinda conjures up the thought of someone lurking around watching them.And little kids are scared of that.. Just keep it simple and Truthful and you can't make a mistake.
God Bless you and I pray you will have a little one on the way again soon. It took me a year to conceive again, so I pray that won't the case for you....Just be patient.
Best wishes!

Im sorry for your loss. I miscarried a year ago last christmas and had to tell my 6 and 9 year old. They blamed me because they thought I didnt eat enough. Infact- they still hold it against me. However, we are pregnant again and my children are so protective of me. We didnt sugar coat it. I did however go to the library and get books for kids about death. And showed them pictures of what the baby looked like at the stage of miscarriage. And it helped them to know it was early on. Ive heard that every miscarriage is for a reason, and that its because the baby wouldnt have been a healthy child. But not for sure about any of that.

First I would like to say I am sorry for your loss.I had a miscarriage very early on in a pregnancy when my daughter was 4 years old. It may sound kind of silly but I told her that the doctors had mad a mistake and that it really wasnt a baby in mama's tummy but and apple seed. I told her I had swallowed one accidently and after the doctors took pictures they saw it was really just an appleseed. She would bring it up every so often but we told her that it was up to God if we should have another baby and told her she could pray and ask God for a baby brother or sister. She did pray often for that. We did get pregnant again after the second try and we now have a beautiful healthy baby boy. Good luck to you. I hope this helps.

I don't think she is old enough to understand that a pregnancy is supposed to take 9 months. I would not say anything to her about the miscarriage. If you get pregnant again in the next few months, I doubt she would notice that it's taking longer than 9 months!

If she does happen to know that it is taking longer (such as if you told her the baby will be here before Christmas & then Christmas comes & goes with no baby...) just explain that the baby was not ready yet & is going to take longer to get here. It takes a lot of time to bring her an extra special little brother/sister!

HI J. D.

TELL HER THE TRUTH. LET HER KNOW THAT THE BABY IN MOMMY'S BELLY IS NOT THERE ANY MORE, BECAUSE IT'S LITTLE SOUL WENT BACK TO GOD TO GET 100 PERCENT READY TO COME IN TO THE WORLD TO BE HER LITTLE SISTER OR BROTHER.BUT DON'T BE SAD BECAUSE WHEN GOD IS READY FOR HIM/HER TO COME GOD WILL RETURN HIM/HER TO MOMMY'S BELLY TO BE SAFE.TO YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND GOD SEES EVERYTHING AND HE KNOWS IF THE BABY WOULD HAVE HAD COMPLICATIONS WHEN HE/SHE ARRIVED AND DID NOT WANT YOU TO DEAL WITH SEEING YOUR CHILD THAT WAY. THIS IS JUST A STEPPING STONE, YOU MAY HAVE TO TELL ANOTHER PARENT YOU KNOW OF WHO MAY EXPERIENCE THE LOST YOU HAVE AND HELP THEM GET THROUGH IT. GOD USES THE STRONG, EVEN THOUGH WE THINK WE ARE NOT STRONG, TO HELP THE WEAK. BE bLESSSED AND I WILL SAY A PRAYER FOR YOUR FAMILY.

Hi J.,

I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. I've had two and it is an emotional loss. Kids tend to be pretty resilient, more so than adults. Explain to her what happened in terms she can understand. I don't believe there is a need to go into great detail about what happened. Let her know the baby was needed in a different place and is very happy despite the fact that he/she won't be joining your family. Good luck.

From my own experience I was very honest about the baby dying but I also explained it on the level that my yongest could understand. I was not prepared for the frank questions because children are very insightful. A friend of mine who lost a 5-6 month old baby at home let her children see the baby, they named him and did some sort of burial. Her almost-five year old daughter still talks about "her little brother" but the almost-three year old doesn't. Age makes a huge difference.

There are great printed resources for each family member (mom, dad, big siblings, grandparents, etc) experiencing grief of a loss from miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. Check to see if your local hospital has any of these booklets. You might try asking a Labor and Delivery nurse or hospital social worker for printed resources or support group information in your area. Some of these professionals may have completed the "Resolve Through Sharing" bereavement training.
Some other web resources:
www.bereavementprograms.com/catalog
www.marchofdimes.com/572_4150.asp

I send my best wishes for your family to cope and heal well together~

J.,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss...I pray that God will comfort you in this time of sorrow...

I don't know what to tell your little girl, I know this must be very hard for you and your husband...I hope that God will give you the words to speak to your little one..I will be lifting you up in prayer...

Hi, I didn't read all the responses, but I was surprised by how different the ones I did read were. First off, let me say how sorry I am that you have experienced this loss. I pray that you will heal completely, both physically and emotionally.

My oldest daughter was 3 years old when her 7 month old baby sister passed away. Obviously that is different than a miscarriage, but I want to encourage you that even at that young age she was very acceptive of loss. Explain things to her as well as you can for her level and answer questions she has as they come up. I feel that it is very important that you are honest with her and not try to hide it from her. I think it will be much more beneficial in the long run. She will "know" about this sibling she lost and in the future the memory of watching you handle this loss in a healthy way could be a help to her when she sees others go through loss of if she happens to.

Because I am so big on telling the truth, I also don't like the scenario of "guardian angel" but I know a lot of people do. I just don't believe that my daughter is an angel, but a complete and whole person in heaven. I want her sister to know that too. But that is obviously up to you. For that reason I don't like some of the books out there, but there are some good ones for children.

Also be honest with her that you hope to have another child soon and she will be one of your most ardent supporters as you are waiting to conceive again. :)

I hope that helps. Children are much more acceptive of hard things then we sometimes give them credit for. :)

M.

just sit her down and tell her that u wanted a baby more than anything in the world, but not as much as god wanted the baby and that he took it so it can be her guardian angel and it will never leave her and that he wants to send her another baby someday and try for another one when u and ur husband are ready. tell ur daughter that mommy and daddy are going to try for another one soon and that she will be a big sister soon. hope this helps. my first miscarriage was at 18 and i still wonder what the baby would look like today.

In my experience, I think you should not say anything and keep trying. Chances are, you will get pregnant soon if you continue to try. I had a family member that had 2 other children when she got pregnant for her 3rd had a miscarriage, chose not to say anything, continued on about the pregnancy and got pregnant in the next month. Children do not have much time concept so this pregnancy will just be longer than normal if you are able to get pregnant soon.

Young children are very perceptive when it comes to feelings. I know you feel you and your husband "are getting through it", but I also know your daughter will know SOMETHING is wrong. Children at that age still feel the world all relates to something they did, so she may think SHE has made you sad. We don't need to keep life from children, you just need to explain things on her level, answer only what she asks, and be sure she understands none of this is her fault!
And if you just wait and don't tell her-what happens if you don't get pregnant again very soon? She will have less trust in her parents if you wait too long. At 4 she has almost no sense of time, but she feels things should be "right now" and not long periods already. Our 5 yr old granddtr can't understand why it is taking so long to have her new cousin. It would be harder without a calendar marked off in 9 months.....
It took us a very long time to get over the sudden sadnesses that came unexpectedly after our miscarriage. Your daughter can share this with you, and it will help both of you in many ways.

I understand fully what you ar going through. We too last summer were in this same situation. Our then 4 year old daughter at the time was so excited to be a big sister and we never would have believed in a million years we would miscarry. Our daughter's preg. was text book. we Literally sat her down and told her that the baby in mommies belly was no longer there and we would just have to wait a bit longer until anotherone would be there for her to become a big sister. To our surprise she said, "its ok Jesus needed another baby in heaven." Very simple no long drawnout discussion to the point. My thoughts and prayers are with you.~J.

Hi, I am very sorry for your loss. I have to girls, 5 & 10 1/2months. I had a miscarriage 6 months before I got pregnant with my second child. My older child knew mama was pregnant and when we lost the baby we just told her that mama was not going to have a baby right now that we decided to wait. If you are up front and just explain thing in a way she will understand than she should be okay. And tell her that she will be a big sister soon, since you are planning to try again. Good Luck!