Tantrums/self Damaging

You should use the technique that I use called extinction. You let them tantrum and do whatever and you leave the room. Ignore the behavior completely. If you feed into it, which you are, it will only make it worse. Leave them in a safe area, like their bedroom and walk away. I know this sounds harsh, but it won't be much longer until they stop. It might take a few tries for them to finally understand that it won't work with you anymore.

You and your husband have to be a united front against it, and trust me, it will be worth it in the end. Just be patient and hang tight. You will get through it.

I agree about ignoring the behaviour. It sounds like they are trying to get attention but in a negative way. Don't respond to it at all. Don't give them what they want. Only respond to positive behaviour.

My son (whose almost 2) was doing the same thing with banging his head on the floor. I'd just ignore him and he got to the point where he doesn't do it anymore cause it never got him anything so try ignoring it when she does it and hopefully she'll just stop doing it.

Hi my name is K. and I am a single Mom with a 3yr.old son. He does the same thing. I dont know what this is about. Im having a hard time with this and Im not sure what to do. I do the swat on the butt also and he sometimes laughs at me. What the hell is that. People tell me to start taking things away from him. I dont know what to do. Good luck with your kids. Let me know if you have any good ideas !!!

To expand on the previous responses, your son has become aware that when he hurts himself, you come running and a lot attention is poured out on him. This is manipulative behavior. Once he realizes that he IS only hurting himself and nothing put pain comes as a result, he will quit.

In the foster care system, we are instructed to move a screaming child having a tantrum into an open area where they can't hurt themselves and let them go. Let her scream, let her flail, etc. In a non-obvious way, watch the tantrum only to insure there is no injury, otherwise ignore it. This worked well with both of my daughters.

As far as your son, you may want to offer him alternatives for expressing his anger. First relate to him that his current behavior is completely unacceptable. Then offer alternatives such as hitting a pillow, get a character punching bag, or if he is artistic - tell him to draw pictures that show his feelings. Give him a "safe" place where he can go and yell and have a fit where it won't bother you but lets him vent his frustration. If the self injury continues, remove privileges such as TV, video games, a favorite toy and DO NOT CAVE IN and give these things back until the behavior ends. Once he sees you truly mean it, things will change. The other alternative which would be difficult for me, is to take the Love and Logic method. Ignore him when he is hurting himself, then treat the injury in a detached, clinical way, and say "That must really hurt. Some people hurt themselves for attention. What do you think about that?" But as I said, I'd have a very hard time allowing a child to continue hurting himself. Maybe as a last resort I'd try it.

On both these things, I agree with another post that said make sure you and your husband are a united front and both uphold consequences imposed by the other.

Best of luck,
K. E

Believe it or not, try ignoring them. The more attention they get, the more they may act this way.