Seeking Help with Head Banging Child

I am wondering if his head hurts most of the time on a low level and then when he is frustrated it hurts even more and thus the head banging. I would like to suggest craniosacral therapy - http://www.iahp.com/pages/search/index.php

Cranial osteopathy, which is similar but I cannot find a doctor who does it locally (we did it in another state), ended my son's headaches and my daughter's ear infections. The doctor told me a story about how one little boy, after a therapy session, said 'my head doesn't hurt' and they asked if it had always hurt before. He said yes and they had never realized it. He thought it was normal, of course, since it had always existed and thought everyone else felt that way too.

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

I read the advice one person gave you about gently "holding" your sone...I have done that and it does eventually work. However, the holding was not so gentle at first. Our son, at age 2, was a VERY ANGRY child (with no words to express it). He banged his head, screamed, etc. I would hold him tightly and whipser over and over things like "I know you are mad","its going to be okay" "mommy loves you""its okay to cry" "its ok, its okay, itsokay". If you say the same thing over and over and over and rock abck and forth while you hold him, it is soothing. The first few times we did it, it was literrally about 2 hours of him screaming and fighting us until he would finally just become limp in my arms and he would just sob quietly. My husband and I took turns bc our arms got so tired. We did this daily for about 3 weeks. Then the banging and screaming got better, and as his vocabulary improved, the anger got better. You are not alone, many moms have dealt with this. I know you want him to feel better and not be so angry. Good luck!!!!

Make sure to have a cushion he is sitting on and/or pillows around and then let him bang away. :) Sounds crazy, but it is part of the ignoring process while keeping him safe.

Blessings,
A.

My oldest son (who is now 18) did that. He did it whenever he was angry, upset or if he wanted attention. There were times he thought it was hilarious! I tried everything to get him to stop, but what really worked was ignoring him.

Seriously, I would not say a word to him, or even look at him. If it bothered me, I actually left the room. I made sure there was nothing around for him to actually hurt himself with and left the room. When he realized that I was not even paying any attention to the tantrum, he stopped doing it. It took about a week or so of ignoring the behavior completely, but it did stop.

The key is the ignoring. If you even look in his direction, he will notice and keep doing it. He knows it bothers you, and that is why he does it. Just walk away. Don't tell him you are walking away, or that you are ignoring him. Just do it! Calmly walk into another room where he cannot hear you or see you. If he follows you to keep up the tantrum, go to a place he cannot go, such as your bathroom and lock the door. As long as he thinks you are not going to pay attention to it, he will stop. Have patience, it could take a little time, but it will stop.

N.

Perhaps warming his bottom would take his focus off of his head. Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod will drive it far from him. That's from the Creator's owner's manual. ;-)

A couple of my kids did this. Best thing I found was try to ignore them.

Hi! I am having SUCH flashbacks right now! My son, now 4 1/2 used to do this and it made me crazy. He would bang it to the point he would leave a mark on his forehead! I seem to remember trying everything: ignoring, sympathy, EMpathy and the like but I don't think one thing worked more than another. I finally got to the point where I could see it coming, and would get in the floor with him and give him extra hugs and kisses and try to divert his attention from being frustrated.
I feel like other posters, he was just frustrated over something and couldn't find the words to tell me. It's be a long time since he has done that, but whew, I feel your (or his rather) pain. Good Luck!

Explain to him if he wants to bang his head that is his preogative but you aren't going to put up with it. Get you a play pen if you still have your baby bed set up, put him in that and tell him he can come out when he learns to act right. Keep doing that and eventually he will learn. It is all about "training".

My son did this when he was 2 and from speaking with a doctor and doing research of my own, I received the same information. I was told that many gifted children did this because they knew how they were feeling, but did not have all of the words to express it yet. I was so worried that he would harm himself, but he never did. I tried to divert his attention to something else and sometimes it would work. The thing that finally worked (other than just him getting older) was that we told him he was only hurting himself and if he wanted to, that was fine because it was not hurting us. Reverse psychology usually does not work with him, but in this case, it did. He finally realized that he was not upsetting my husband and I and was not getting the attention he wanted. Hope this helps!

I don't have a solution, but my 20month old daughter does it too. the more i ignore it, the less she does it. and when she does it hard enough that it hurts a little, she usually stops.

walk away and ignore him when he sees that he isnt doing anything but wasting his energy he will prbably stop. butmake sue he is in a safe place when he is having is tantrums

Hi J.,

I'll add to what the other posters have said by telling you that I used the phrase "Use your words" to my children when they were getting frustrated and started to throw a fit. If you can get that in before he totally falls apart, he might think a little about how to say what he wants. Of course, that doesn't mean he can have it! But you can mirror back to him what he says, "You want to jump on the bed. I understand that's what you want, but it's not safe. I don't want you to hurt yourself." See if that helps prevent it.

All my best,
D.

My son went through this phase for about a month. When he would start a temper tantrum, I would simply say, "let me know when you are done" AND WALK AWAY! They do it for attention and any attention you give feeds into the temper tantrum. Just say it one time and make sure everyone is on board. Any body feeding into it will make it last longer than just a phase.

This may seem mean but i had the same problem with my twins who are 8 now were three. My pediatrician told me to ignore it and when they hit their head hard enough, they would stop. That worried me but I did try it. I noticed the more i ignored, the less they did it. Then after the fit would be over and they did not hit their heads, I would go over to them and tell them yes mommy knows you are mad. I would give them words to say to let mommy know they were mad. This worked for my boys. I hope it can help you guys also. www.workathomeunited.com/myfoursons

I'd walk away from him when he starts banging his head. He sees that it upsets you and that is the whole goal in the first place. Don't watch his tantrum and have others look away too. My oldest son was a head banger. My nephew was too. Refusing to react or even to watch was the only thing that stopped them. It's all for show and attention. Don't reward the bad behavior and they get tired of it. It does hurt to bang your head, so if it accomplishes nothing else, why do it?

Hi J.,
As long as your son is not in any immediate danger, let him do it. He is going to realize that hitting his head hurts and he will stop. Ignore him when he does it so he doesn't think that it gets your attention. My son sometimes throws tantrums when he doesn't get his way also (he is 20 months) - I walk away and ignore him (although I usually peek around the corner to make sure he is okay but he doesn't know that!). As soon as I am out of sight, he pops back up and comes to find me and is no longer crying. Hope this helps!
Cyndi

There's a lot of info on the internet about this as well. While much of the time, I think we (myself included) tend to "over-diagnose" things that are probably just "normal" kid "phase" type stuff, neither do we want to stick our heads in the sand about things.

You might want to read something like this to make sure your son doesn't fit in these categories and then you can breathe a sigh of relief and just ignore him.

http://www.drgreene.com/21_1104.html (I don't know who "Dr. Greene" is, but the info might warrant further research.)

Hopefully your son doesn't exhibit any other symptoms (lack of pointing, gaze-following, and/or pretend-play) and you can stop worrying.

I promise if you ignore it, it will stop. Its totally for attention.

For safety's sake, get him a bike helmet to wear. Sounds weird I know, but it worked for a couple of kids I know.
Don't respond at all when he is banging his head, but if he continues to exhibit the behavior, I'd call the pediatrician again, just to be on the safe side, in case he needs to be checked for any condition that might be aggravating the poor little fellow and ask the doctor for tips on how to stop the habit.
Sometimes it's hard to understand their reasoning, but some kids more than others will do anything for attention or to get their own way. They don't differentiate between negative and positive attention, so it's up the the parents to emphasize positive and minimize the negative. If he gets any kind of significant reaction or response to what he's doing, he'll continue doing it because in his little mind it's working for him!! Does that make sense??

Let us know what works, and how it goes.

My grandson did this when he was overly tired, sleepy, hungry, or otherwise uncomfortable. MAKE SURE that's not the case in each instance. Every kid has different sensitivities.

If he IS just doing it for attention, QUIT giving him attention, pure and simple.