Supervision of Children at Playgrounds

This is frightening! I am just starting to take my 19 month old to some local parks, but now I am afraid to! Can any of you tell me where the 'good' parks are in Ozaukee County? I know my daughter will eventually have to deal with bullies & bad behavior when she starts school, but I'd like for her first experiences with other children to be mostly positive ones.

I just ran into this at the park a couple weekends ago. Had my three children there and scolded my 5 year old for climbing up the slide. We went to another area to play and there were 3-4 boys probably 7-8 years old climbing up the slide holding people so they couldn't go down. My son asked why they could walk up the slide but he couldn't, I said I guess that's not their rule. The kicker -mom/grandma (didn't know which) was sitting in the car reading a book. I was so annoyed. I also think people should be paying close attention to their children in play areas.

Oh man, you are I are on the same page.

I've had similar experiences with outdoor playgrounds. We avoid the indoor ones for that exact reason. I've had to yell at other children when I see their bad behavior, especially if their actions are something my daughter will witness or be the brunt of.(like swearing or throwing sand on the slides, bullying, etc.)Their parents don't even care that I yelled at their kid. If I saw a parent yelling at my child, I would certainly be involved. They don't even look up to see me scolding their kid. (I will NEVER be that type of parent, or ignore my daughter enough to let her get out of control long enough for another parent to have to control.) It's so frusterating.

I've also it annoying when other kids are typically want my attention too. You're their having fun with your kids and then other kids start wanting my attention too. They will see me playing with my daughter and will interupt my playtime and beg for me to "Watch them". (I don't even know them, why do I want to watch them? But I do...because I think it's rude not to give them the attention that they so obviously need.) It bothers me that some parents don't give their children enough attention so they have to seek it from some stranger at a playground. How sad. I've even had to leave playgrounds to get away from those needy children. We go to alot of playgrounds...we have alot by us...probably 15 different ones I know of. So, if one is bad, we just leave and go to another. Most of the time, our playgrounds are almost or completely empty except for us, so we've been lucky...and spoiled I guess.

I have to totally agree with you, My husband went to Edinborough indoor park yesterday with the kids he said it was so nuts with kids not being watched by their parents that he left.My boys do run around some without us part of the time they are 8 and 6 but we do pay attention to what they are doing and make sure that they know that it is not ok for them to bully other kids and they both understand because they have been pushe around by some bigger kids.

i totally agree with you. even at a place like eagles nest, you have to be your own gaurd to keep the big kids out of the toddler area! even at the mall indoor playground, kids that are WAY to big think it is okay to run around crazy...and the parents just sit there! i would suggest going early in the morning or later in the afternoon as it is a little quieter at these places. if you go mid-morning to early afternoon, there are a lot of older kids and birthday parties going on.

oh yeah...i know about other kids wanting your attention. i think it is okay to acknowledge once, but then say..I am here with my kids and cant watch you. you need to get your mom or dad to play with you! it is so rude for parents to dump their kids at the playground and use the cell phone the entire time they are there. wow...spend a quality 30 minutes with your kids and call your friends after you put them to bed!

I absolutely agree. My son is a very, very small 18 month old (only 17lbs), we were at an indoor play area last week with a friend and several bigger kids were pushing him around. One mother was paying no attention whatsoever to her bully of a child and the other didn't speak English so it was apparently a waste of my breath to say anything to her about her daughter terrorizing my son. I was with a friend who has a little girl around 11 months old and she was being treated the same way by the same children. What makes the bigger kids think it's ok to beat up on a baby?!?! I was outraged! I also have an infant to tend to while at the play areas but I always find a way to keep my son out of trouble when out in public. Why should I rely on someone else to do my "job" for me. If I wanted someone else to pay attention to my kids I would hire a babysitter.

I agree with your frustration but also have to say that it's very very hard as parents to watch our children be bullied or deal with bratty playmates but we do have to let them learn to handle their own and do it by themselves sometimes. Mom and Dad aren't always going to be right there especially when they start school.

When other kids act up I usually make comments outloud like "Gee honey I'm glad you don't behave like those kids" Which is probaly wrong of me but I'm not about to go get into with a parent who obviously doesn't care. Or if were in a public place with "older" kids being rude to my daughter I will stand right there in their personal bubble and with my body language let them know I'm right here and your so not going to mistreat my kid cause I'm not going anywhere attitude. Or with kids her own age I have to bite my lip and let her handle her own.

I was just talking about this exact problem to everyone that would listen last week!!
I don't like going to the playgrounds for this exact reason. I think some parents just don't care and some are afraid to be parents. If my kids are running up slides or trying to throw sand I tell them no and if I have to yell it from the other side of the park, I DO!
The other day there were some teenagers with the language which I let slide to a point but then they were getting in their cars and racing around the park and squeeling out and I just couldn't believe it!! There were at least 4 BIG dads there and none of them did anything! I'm small and only 5' so I pick my battles, but these men could have said something without fear of being beat up. I would have called the cops if I hadn't forgotten my cell phone.
There was also a little toddler the same day just wondering into the parking lot and my friend went to grab him while I watched our kids..WTH??? Where were his parents?? Oh, he was sitting in his car not paying attention!

We parents need to act like parents..and stop being so afraid of what others might think, say, do and quit being lazy.

My kids may be old enough to play on there own but I watch them with an eagle eye ;)

I also have to add that I saw the same thing happening at the Children's Museum a couple of weekends ago in the golf ball exhibit. All these older kids were pushing the younger kids out of the way while they put their 20 balls down the chute. I kept telling my kids to wait and be patient and take their turn and then I saw two different parents bring these kids (that were blocking the whole thing up) more balls so they didn't have to get down and wait for another turn. I just about exploded! Then my 2 daughter finally got a turn and the older boy and older girls grabbed their balls so they could have more and didn't let my girls finish. That is when both my husband and I yelled at the same time at them. It was sickening watching this and watching the parents enable this type of behavior.

Unfortunately I think that's a behavior from parents that has become very common, at least around here. There is a park behind my house that I have full view of straight out my sliding doors. I don't even let my children outside to play there unless I am physically out there to watch them. I see on a daily basis children probably less than two years old playing out there without an adult in sight. I have witnessed the older kids terrorizing the younger kids and NO ONE is around to do anything about it but me. It's very frustrating! That kind of thing happens to my youngest son at many of the larger parks around here as well. Parents take a seat on a bench and don't move for anything until they're ready to leave. It sucks! It makes playing no fun for the other children.

I agree with you mostly.
I have NO problem with parents socializing ,talking on the phone or reading. As long as they keep an eye...not necessarily a close eye..on the kids, and handle any problem as soon as they see it. When I have had a problem with a child bothering mine I ask that child who their parent is and go talk to the parent about it. I never scold other peoples kids (unless they are at my house).
I do have a problem with the parents that let their older children who are clearly older/taller then they are supposed to be play in the area for younger kids. The indoor play area that we go to in at a mall on Madison's west side has a statue standing right next to the entrance that says you have to he shorter then his hand to play in there. Every time we go though there are at least 1/2 the kids that are to big to go in! People have to walk right past the statue to get in!! Is it that hard to see that your kid doesn't fit under the man's hand? This is the only inside "park" that I know of and my kids have to play on rainy days and I have to get out of that house!

Hi,
Last summer I was at our local park and I too was upset to see kids unsupervised. Infact a child fell hard off the swings and cracked his head open. I was waiting for a parent to run over but saw no one. I was thinking, "Maybe I am a bit overprotective but I am not letting my kid out of my sight!" Especially in the age we live in it is so easy for someone to people to pray on our children. Why make it easier?

I like the other people in here totally agree with you. I really have a problem with kids that whose parents are not watching them. We had an inncident in our little town that I got really upset with. Other people have had problems with these certain kids (young teenagers) at the park. These kids think that it is ok to swear and drink and mess up the only park that we have. There was a day that my children and I were at the park and they were probably 200 feet away and we could hear all of the "naughty words". My youngest who is 3 said "hey you guys have a safety violation" and one of the kids smarted off. Of course then I went off. I just made sure that they knew that I did know their parents and that I knew where they lived and that if I ever heard it again I would make sure the parents were aware of it. Well everytime we or friends of ours go to the park they never have any problems. And the best/ worst thing about this is that when they see me the words that I usually hear are " I am sorry mam for my behavior and thank you for not telling my parents". Being that I am being called mam and that I am 29 not so sure about all of that lol. So if they ever start up again their parents will find out and that could be a good/bad situation.

I totally agree with you. I have taken my children (5 1/2 yrs and 16 1/2 ys) to the playgrounds and parks. There are so many children that are unattend there. I do take work with me when we go. But my children are in my site at all times. They have gone up to parents when the children are doing something wrong. Some thank us and redirect the behavior, others just ignore it. Why do people have children if they aren't going to pay attention to them? They are more than just a tax deduction ! They are a gift from God ! So treasure it while you have it !

Can I ask which one you went to? We are going to one this weekend and I'm wondering if its the same one.

I agree that people need to pay attention to their kids at ALL times when at these sorts of places. The mall play places are ten times worse!

I think I'm going to be the only one who will show the other side of the story.

My oldest has some behavior problems. She doesn't seem to truly understand right and wrong. She doesn't do the right thing so that she can make others happy and keep from hurting them, she only seems to do it if it benefits her. Sort of like "What's in it for me?"

I don't really understand how she became this way, but I'm not exaggerating. She's already had to transfer out of 2 schools because of her extreme behavior.

She's loud and very energetic. We take her to the park to get rid of some of that energy because she's so very hyper. At the same time, when we finally get to the park the rest of us are usually pretty exhausted from the rest of the events of the day and we just want to relax.

This isn't to say that I ignore Torri and let her run crazy. But I do read a book or draw and relax. I try to keep an eye on her but sometimes things get out of hand before I can get there to intervene. I'm probably not as bad as some of the parents that everyone was bringing up, but outbursts do occasionally happen.

Sometimes it's very frustrating to see the other parents scolding my kids. If I think that Torri is doing something wrong, I stop her ASAP. And I certainly don't appreciate the disapproving stares that some parents give me.

I have an active toddler and an angel of a 3 year old but I also have a 7 year old who is all but a sociopath. Until you know what it's like to have a girl like that, try to judge me a little less harshly. And I'll try to do the best that I can with her.

That's how it goes....Yea, it stinks and is frustrating. I do think it's okay to chat with others as long as you still watch your kid. Nobody is perfect but on the same note parents need to watch their kids closely. I'm always fearful of people taking my kids. Is that no longer a concern? We had a deal last weekend at a park. The Dad was switching between standing near the playground talking to being on the playground interacting with his kids. This guys little girl was at the slide but walked away from it. When my daughter was ready to slide this girl told my daughter that she was first and I told the girl that she was not first. What is wrong with kids these days and where was the Dad???? She went down the slide leaving my submissive daughter stand there wondering what the hell just happened. I just wanted to scream at the girl. I know that's wrong but how rude. I gave her dirtly looks and kept telling the young girl how rude that was and how she wasn't first. That ruined my day and I told my family that we have to go because the little girl won't share. I expect parents to step in and show their kids proper acceptable behavior. Yes, it's a kid but they learn from us. What we parents have to go through.

Wow, which parks are you talking about? I take my son to one of the three parks in our neighborhood nearly every day and I have found nothing but nice children, dutiful parents and really helpful older children. I find it a nice way to relax and meet new neighbors and other children. I have also been to Edinborough numerous times and I have never had a bad experience. I think having backyard play equipment is great but it is also nice to interact with the community and meet new children and other parents. Maybe this experience was just a fluke. I think you should try taking your child to the park again and just keep doing the right thing by supervising your child.

I completely agree with you. I get so frustrated at parents who are not in the play area or ignore what their child(ren) are doing. My daughter comes to me with questions, why can't I do that and why can they do that along with maybe you should go tell their parents. I have had to leave b/c of older children being too rough and my daughter got hurt and the parents didn't do anything.

Thank you for speaking up about this issue!

Recent bullying studies have shown that children respond best to other children telling them that their actions are wrong, rude, etc., more so than adults.

Be sure to talk to your kids about ways they can speak up for themselves at a playground. Tell them that it's OK to tell someone "that's not nice" "that's not fair" "it was his turn, not yours", etc. You can even tell them that it might not change how the other child behaves, but it will make them think about it a little more.

Teach your children to advocate for themselves and others. I don't think children are bad because there's something inherently bad about their nature, they just haven't been taught. Help your kids teach other kids.

Obviously, there will be times when you need to step in, or remove your children from a bad situation. But don't forget that your children are learning and growing and are becoming capable people of their own.

I couldn't agree more.