Hi ladies! What do you do for daycare for your pre-teens and teens? My oldest is 12 now and is feeling too old for some of the summer daycamps. Usually, during the school year, we have them both go to the after school program put on by the Y. It's worked really well and we've really been happy with it. In the summers I just schedule them for a different daycamp every week, which has also worked out well. They get plenty of activity and stimulation and aren't home alone. My husband and I both work all day M-F, and although my oldest daughter feels she could stay home alone, we don't think she's anywhere near ready. We're going to start leaving her at home once in a while for maybe a half hour while we pick her sister up at a friend's, etc., but we haven't done that yet. This summer we've got plenty of camps scheduled and my MIL has agreed to take them for a couple weeks, but I'm worried about next year. I'm really not comfortable with her staying home all day, all week and don't want to impose on friends to take her all day. My MIL will help out again next summer, but she can't do the whole summer. I figure I can get 4 wks of camps, 4 wks of help from my MIL and a week or two of family vacation, but am worried about filling any extra weeks. She's also feeling too old for the after school program and does NOT want to do it next year. She gets out of school around 2:30 and my husband gets out of work at 4:30, so could be home around 5:00. If we let her take the bus home, depending on what time it drops her off, she could be home alone for as much as two hours. Maybe that's not bad, but it still worries me. I'm just wondering what you guys do with your pre-teens that are too big for camps and after school programs, but too young to get a job. Do you have any other ideas I haven't thought of? (BTW, the 10 yo is content with the after school program and all the daycamps, so she's not really an issue, yet). Oh, and one other thing, my MIL's mother just turned 100 the other day. She's in a nursing home and realistically she probably won't be with us too much longer. As long as she is, my MIL and FIL will be here too, but once she passes, they'd like to move somewhere warmer, so the option of using her next summer for daycare, may not be there....
I would look into leadership opportunities for her. At a lot of these camps, they have the 12 and 13 year olds be junior counselors. They feel older because they're in somewhat of an authority role with the younger ones, yet they're being supervised as well.
The American Red Cross gives babysitting classes to kids ages 12 and up. If they think a 12 year old is able to watch other children plus themselves maybe it's time for us moms that think a 20 year old still needs directions to watching themselves lighten up.
Start teaching her to be a responsible home alone kid. There are many steps and a year is plenty of time for her to start making the transition. Also talk to the child care providers and ask if they use the "Teen Aide" positions. If they do they actually use the older kids as teacher's aides and the make a little money too. They are not full time employees by any means and it's really a way for the kids to have adequate supervision when parents are working.
what about hiring a teenager to watch them at your house during the summer. Only you know the maturity level of your daughter to decide whether or not to let her stay home after school. When I was 11 1/2 I was babysitting my nextdoor neighbors 2 kids afterschool.
Not sure of the solution, but try not to put the cart before the horse with your older daughter. You will be AMAZED at how much maturing she will do before next year. I have a 12 yr old son (will be 13 next month) so I know.
have you thought about sleep away camp?
Have you looked into what any of her friends do after school and in the summer. (Well those with working parents anyway)
Only you know your child best but at 12 I was babysitting. I'd say do a trial let her be home a few hours alone and see how she handles it. She may surprise you and not like being home alone or se might love it. If it were me I'd et her try it and have mil and fil check in on her that way you'll know if she can do it herself next year at 13,
You mention she's too young to get a job -- but what about her being a mother's (or father's!) helper? You might be able to find a stay-at-home or work-from-home parent who would LOVE to have your daughter's help. She'd have adult supervision while earning a little bit of money at the same time.
If you don't know of anyone needing help, maybe she could post a sign at the library where the little ones and their parents go for story hour. And you could always meet the family ahead of time so everyone is comfortable with the situation.
My daughter is almost 15 and if she had her way she would spend the entire summer at Girl Scout camp. Maybe your girls would like that. They do not have to be Girl Scouts to attend, and there is a really great one in Thetford VT. It can be kind of pricey, but they do have financial aid for those who qualify. And unlike many other camps, they can keep going no matter there age. If you want more info the Girl Scout website will have it.
I have a 12 year old and this year I put her at Y for three days a week. . The other days she goes with her grandma. As for afterschool I let her start staying by herself since it is only a hour and half. She did good but I had a list of rules for her and she followed them. I think you need to test your daughter and see if she passes. I would leave the house and come back 30 minutes later and knock on the door to see if she would answer. (she didn't). Every child is different so when you feel comfortable just do it in baby steps. As for the 10 year old I feel afterschool programs is still a must and full time care. I wouldn't let the 12 year old watch the 10 year old. Just my opinion.
My son went to Boys & Girls Clubs after school and through summer until he was 14. He would have gone last summer at 14, but I had a job that allowed me to bring him to work with me, and he was showing enough responsibility to stay home alone a few days a week. (Plus I have great neighbors that kept an eye out). Then I became unemployed :( and was home with him.
At 13 he was not thrilled with BGC, but I explained to him, that as a parent it is my responsibility to keep him safe and that was the best way I knew how. He dealt with it, and wound up enjoying the summer.
Sometimes our kids just need to deal with summer camp. Statistically summer and after school time - when children are left alone - are when they are more at risk for high risk behaviors.
Good Luck
God Bless
I was staying home at 12 and my mom was VERY overprotective. I think if you're not comfortable all day during the summer, then compromise with her and let her come home by herself once school starts back up. I'm not one for doing things just bc others do, but the embarassment of being in daycare at 12/13 was more than I could bear. She will likely be the oldest and not have much to do or anyone to bond with.
I understand your dilemma. I have a 12 year old son, as well as three younger daughters. We live in a somewhat rural area, and I AM NOT comfortable leaving him alone. He is a good kid, but with hours and hours each day "on your own" you can get in trouble. I've seen it with other kids. Crank phone calls, getting into the liquor cabinet, inappropriate internet/TV programs, trying out smoking, etc....My son is a good kid, but friends and what they do all day is an influence you have to reckon with. I only work part-time, and when I work, he will be at my mother-in-laws, along with the others...Good Grammy time. He can still read, etc, but is supervised. Kids alone all day can get into trouble. I would let your daughters stay with a relative or friend who is in the same boat. Maybe mothers of your daughter's friends have similar concerns. Find out what they are doing. Lastly, I wouldn't be as concerned about after school supervision, since it is only for a short time. Have a chore list, and require homework be done by the time you get home, and there won't be enough time for her to get in trouble.
My daughter is 13 and she goes to an all day summer camp in town but her role is more of a junior counselor through 14 years old (12-14 - help plan programs for younger ones) and then they transition to a counselor at 15 through the program so she'll always have summer job. Call your local town rec dept - that's what we use.
I was babysitting other people's kids by the time I was 11 or 12. I know each kid is different though. The law in MD says an 8 year old can be home alone after school. I won't do that with my daughter, but it's allowed. I know when I was in 7th grade I was home alone for a while and always scared. But my parents had no other option. If she is good for this summer and next year she will be 13, they could both stay home alone together.
Wow, I was babysitting at 12 and so were my siblings. During the summers I was a junior counselor at the YWCA camp. Seriously made me feel more grown up. Looking back, I hope I was more of a help than a hindrance, but we did receive training and we did lead small group activities. I would look into it. Also, our community college has "College for Kids." I took computer classes (not sure kids would take that now, but in the 80's it was a big deal), cultural classes, science classes. It was so much fun!
You could call the YMCA or YWCA, the Park District, your daughter's school to get some ideas. There really should be some more age appropriate programs.
Good luck!
