J.D. asks from Chandler, AZ on November 06, 2009
Successful Pregnancy After Late Miscarriage
Hi - I am looking to hear from moms who have had a successful pregnancy after experiencing a late miscarriage or stillbirth. Did you have any trouble conceiving? Was your husband excited about trying again for a baby? Please share with me if you feel moved to do so. I lost a baby last month at 5 months and I am just looking for encouragement.
So What Happened?™
Thanks to those of you who responded. All your thoughts were very appreciated. My husband and I are still not on the same page about trying again. We have agreed to wait for awhile before we decide what we are going to do. I am glad to hear that although other parents have suffered through a loss, they went on to have a healthy baby. I hope that is what is in our future as well, we will have to wait and see.
J.K. answers from Phoenix on November 13, 2009
I am so sorry about your loss. I didn't lose a baby late but I lost one at 12 weeks. It was my first baby which made me worry through my other pregnancies. I had 4 successful pregnancies after my first miscarriage. Good luck to you!
C.L. answers from Phoenix on November 07, 2009
I want to extend my condolences to you and your family, it is so hard to lose a child 5mths! I can't even imagine what your going through. I must say that I too had a miscarriage at 3mths. I felt a pop in my belly like a balloon popping inside of me, and I just new something was wrong. No bleeding or anything. Went to the doctors and I had lost the baby almost like it exploded it's little body inside the placenta. I cried so much and was depressed for a good month, and not the same after that. When I met my husband I already had 2 children this was his first and so you can imagine he was so sad but tried to stay strong for me. I still wonder and think about that baby and how old it would be even today. It's hard but not as much as before. I couldn't see myself trying for another baby anytime soon after that, I almost just didn't want to try at all it was horrible to go through that heartache. I started to focus on our relationship and my kids I had and thought I can't make them suffer with me I gotta snap out of this, so I kept myself busy surrounded myself around friends picked up a couple of hobbies, and 1 year later I got pregnant! We sorta said well if it happens it happens but we sure didn't focus on "Trying" I had to free my mind and heart from that tragedy to move forward. I was so scared that something could happen again I was almost to scared to do anything afraid I did something wrong to miscarriage, BUT we had a healthy baby girl and she is a pistol! She is 2 1/2. I am now pregnant again with our 2nd child my 4th and I started bleeding at 7weeks. I thought OMG! here we go BUT then I thought I am not going to put myself through this again if I lose this baby it wasn't meant to be then I went to get an ultrasound immediately and first thing I see is this little peanut and it's heart just pumping away. I was so relieved BUT still worried. In my heart and mind I stay positive and that's all I can do and pray for the best. I've learned through trials and tribulations we don't have control of what happens only how we handle the situation. And God forbid something goes wrong this time but if it does, I am prepared to handle the situation better. Not only for me but for my husband and children. I hope this helps ease your pain there are a million of us out there I'm sure that have gone through a miscarriage then had healthy babies afterwards. I know at least 8 people that have gone through this as well, and for all of us we did move forward you owe it to yourself and family. Your precious baby is now in heaven with our creator watching over you, you will meet again! Good Luck on your next pregnancy and your healing. God Bless!
T.J. answers from Phoenix on November 07, 2009
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It is such a difficult time, especially trying to figure out what went wrong at such a late stage in the pregnancy? Please don't beat yourself over it. I was 4 months pregnant. I honestly don't remember being afraid to try again. My Doctor assured me that it was nothing I did wrong. I think that really helped. Like always, it was such an exciting time when my husband and I found out I was pregnant again. We just let everything happen naturally. Before the miscarriage I had a beautiful daugther that is now 7 and a beautiful son after the miscarriage that is now 4. Good Luck to you and your family and do what feels right to you. Prayers go out to you!
J.V. answers from Chicago on November 07, 2009
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.
My neighbor just shared her story with me: she lost a baby at 8 months. She went on to have a successful pregnancy just a few months later, and she and her husband feel blessed beyond belief.
I wish I had more to share.
A.S. answers from Flagstaff on November 07, 2009
I am so sorry to hear of your loss! I lost my first child late in pregnancy, because it was beyond 20 weeks of pregnancy I had to go thru the whole funeral etc, (I was only 19) I was extremely scared to do it again, I did however have a successful pregnancy after, my 2nd one was born 1 year and 16 days after the 1st one, it was difficult to say the least to let myself love my daughter because I was so afraid of loosing her too, my OB/GYN was very supportive and offered the help of fertility drugs if I felt that I needed them, I declined but did use the information that he gave me about the drugs. His staff was very supportive and offered all kinds of resources as well as the hospital. they offered Lots of free classes and support groups, I took advantage of what I could. Then! When my daughter was almost 7 I got pregnant again, I was fearful of the same thing happening but again with the help of my OB/GYN I had another successful pregnancy and much easier to let myself love this child too, My girls are now 15 and 8, I would have loved to have more but I am a very high risk pregnancy and my babies tend to try to come out very early! If and when you and your husband are comfortable with trying for another, I suggest you follow the Dr's advice and take it easy! I wish the best of luck to you and your family! I dont know if you are close but I had my oldest at Arrowhead community hospital and they had a lot of educational classes that helped alot!
M.C. answers from Phoenix on November 07, 2009
It was hard after my Miscarriage at 4 months I was very reserved and distant from the next pregnancy which happened 4 months later. I was pregnant at the time I would have been due so that helped but not much. But my daughter is now 16 months and yes I think about the baby we called Sami and she will stay in my mind and heart forever. But now that we have 3 the MC deffinatly has it's weight when I think about having 1 last child.
While I was pregnant I got on a real supportive website called babyfit. It is like mamasource but full of prgnant women and at different stages. If I have another baby I am definatly going back to the www.babyfit.com boards