Strong Willed Child! - Rockwall,TX

Updated on March 11, 2009
C.S. asks from Rockwall, TX
8 answers

Hello ladies! I am hoping someone can give some advice! I have a 2 yr old (28 months) who is smart, funny and wonderful!! BUT she WILL NOT listen, she does whatever she wants, whenever she wants! She is a crazy redhead w/tonz of personality, but sometimes it's just too much! I am at the end of my rope here! Nothing works for her! Spanking, time-outs, talking it out, changing the subject and directing her somewhere else...nothing!! She is really good at daycare. She never gives them problems. I have tried taking different approaches and I do pick my battles w/her at this point. I have tried reacting differently to her actions, but she still does not care! Has anyone ever read a great book about strong willed children?? Please don't email me and tell me it's the parents fault b/c unless you've had a child like this, you have no idea what it's like!! Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thanks ladies! I am going to try a couple of the books listed below! The only thing I can think of is that she could be jealous of her baby brother, but if anything, he's the one that's "neglected" -not really neglected, but he gets far less attention than his big sister! She probably does have some type of feelings about not being the only one to have Mommy and Daddy's attention anymore!! Thanks for the advice!

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

I just read a book called "Try and Make Me!" by Ray Levy Ph.D. and Bill O'Hanlon. It helped me a lot with my 3 year old.

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

I have two of them!! The book Raising Your Sprited Child by Mary Kurcinka has helped us allot!

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W.H.

answers from Dallas on

i have'nt a clue. our 3yr.old is like that. will not mind or listen. she has a mind of her own.

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

I am in a similar situation. My daughter just turned three in February and I have a five month old baby. One thing I think I can do better is have special time with just my older daughter without the baby. Maybe once a week on a weekend when my husband can keep the baby, we could do something fun together, even if only an hour.

We're currently reading Parenting the Strong-Willed Child by Rex Forehand and Nicholas Long. My husband really likes it and I've noticed a slight difference in my daughter after just one week. Also, Have a New Kid by Friday by Kevin Leman was recommended to me. I got both books at Barnes and Noble.

In reading books it seems like the most common thing I see is to be consistent. Strong willed children will push the boundaries often and I think it is comforting to them to know what they can and cannot do.

Blessings to you. It is a difficult road, but try to have fun!

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

Yep, had a strong willed child that is now in her mid 20's. I was persistent in my discipline and did not allow her to over rule me. She told me thank you about five years ago for being tough on her. Wow imagine a child telling a parent for being tough on them! Best compliment ever! good luck.

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N.H.

answers from Dallas on

My 6 yo son is very strong willed. I've loved the book "The Strong Willed Child" from Dr. Dobson.

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E.C.

answers from Dallas on

I have a strong-willed child as well. She is a little over two years old; and happens to be a redhead! Go figure! She tests us all of the time!! Sometimes I will give her a warning that she will get a time out if she continues the behavior, then listens to the warning. Other times she just really acts out and doesn't seem to care about the warning. So I have to follow through with the time out. We put her in time out for 2 mintues. At first she thinks it is game; however, I just continue to put her back in place without saying anything. Eventually she gets the idea and cries, but stays put. Sometimes we actually go through this for 10 mintues! However, in the end she says that she is sorry and gives hugs. She does remember this because she stops the behavior and has even caught herself a few times. For the most part, a time-out warning works for her b/c she knows that i will follow through with it. Anyway, I am not sure if this helped you or not; however, maybe you can try a different technique with time out...

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K.H.

answers from Dallas on

I feel your pain. My son is like this. Do be glad that she is acting out only at home. For one thing, it shows that she is able to behave, and it is one less set up problems you have to deal with. It sounds like you are doing everything right. Do try using few words--keep it simple. Set up the consequence up front, and then follow through with it, on the flip side--lots of praise, encouragement and possibly rewards for demonstrating the correct behavior.

Have you considered that she is acting like this at home because she is competing with the baby for attention? As mommy's I think sometimes we expect too much too soon. Make sure that we are not asking for more than they can give.

Best of luck, and please let me know if you find anything that helps.

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