Strange Habit and What Do You Think I Can Do to Stop It?

My guess is that you did not get over your anxiety....it's just that life and stress (i.e. babies) brought it back on.

You probably have Dermatillomania.....it's similar to the people who pick out their hair....called Trichotillomania.

Please read this to start.....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dermatillomania

Therapy is a very helpful tool for you now. Your husband making fun of you is not a helpful tool.

If you have seriously tried redirecting your hands, and you just cannot accomplish this, please seek help. There are medicines that can help your brain calm down, give you a successful shot at stopping this, then you can look at going of the meds later.

When you search for a therapist, be upfront and honest...tell them you have 3 babies and are actively picking at yourself. You need someone experienced with this specific disorder. Don't go to any run of the mill family counselor. If you call a therapist and they cannot help you, ask if they can refer you to a colleague who has successfully treated this.

GL!

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Take up knitting or crochet.
Give your hands something to do that will keep them busy.
You could try stress relief squeezy balls.
Always have something in your hands that you can hold when the urge strikes.

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It's embarrassing for me to answer you because I'm over 40 and have been doing this almost all my life. So I UNDERSTAND!

Here's what's going on physiologically. At this point, you've hard-wired this habit into your brain. Every time you think or do something, you add another layer of neurons in your brain. Our bad habit has built a highway of neurons in our brains that connect a feeling (stress/boredom/insecurity) with an action (picking).

I went to therapy for other stress-related issues in my life and learned how to build new pathways in my brain from stress to something other than picking (such as deep breathing). The old neuron "superhighway" is still there, but I've built a bypass. I didn't go to therapy for picking, but my therapist immediately noticed that picking was a symptom of my stress. Together, we addressed the picking habit through therapy. Therapy IS work. You go to sessions, get guidance, and do the work. It's SO worth it, though.

You may want to go to counseling just to deal with stress. You have plenty of stress in your life with 3 kids and a nasty habit that is really bugging you. There is no shame in going to a counselor.

In the meantime, what's helped for me: keeping my nails cut really short, putting Bacitracin on the wounds, and washing my face with a mild soap every morning and night. It also helps to stop looking in the mirror, and avoiding looking at images of un-naturally beautiful Hollywood types (which just make me feel bad about myself).

This is a really tough habit to break, but IT CAN BE DONE! I "get it."

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There are several people in my family who have various forms of OCD. They have had success in breaking these obsessive behaviors with a combination of medication (anti-anxiety meds) and behavioral therapy. For instance, I have a cousin who is obsessed with cleaning, to the point that his hands would become red and raw to the point of bleeding. The medication caused him to have less of a compulsion to clean, and then he wore a rubber band on his wrist, and would snap it (hard) on his wrist every time he had the compulsion to start cleaning. I know it was very difficult for him to move away from that behavior, but he has been pretty successful.

I would suggest that you speak to your doctor, first and foremost. You will need a plan of action to address your skin problems, and then you will need a referral to a mental health professional to help you overcome the habit/compulsion issues. This is a legitimate health concern, and is probably not something you have control over at this point. There is no shame in going to the doctor for help! The doctor will not laugh at you.

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I did something similar in my 20's. There were two causes:
1) the stress in my life from a lousy relationship
2) the fact that my skin really was bothering me

I dumped the lousy boyfriend, and worked on my skin issues. The think that cleared me up was the Olay total effects 7 signs (or whatever - seven something). It cleared up my skin, so I wasn't annoyed and scratching.
Also, when I start to get an acne type itch, I use a little bactine on it.

I vote for working on your skin issues as just that, not an anxiety problem. But also look for sources of stress in your life, your diet, etc. Can't hurt.

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i used to bite my nails and pull out eyelashes........i bit my nails for 25 years, and did the eyelash thing for at least 7. Stopping will always be a battle but once you become mindful of the habit and wanting to quit you can turn it around.

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I am what I call a "skin picker", too, and have been for many years. I have scars on my upper back and shoulders, and some on my neck and face. I got several mosquito bites this early summer, and with the stress of my father slowly dying over the summer, I picked them until they turned into sores and they have finally healed five months later, leaving scars on my arms.

This behavior increases with any sign of acne, and with stress. I have less stress now that I'm not working FT. When I was working a FT desk job, I would pick at my face throughout the day until I was bleeding sometimes. Or I would have blood spots on the shoulders of my blouses (yuck, I know). I have other repetitive behaviors as well.

I have not gotten therapy for this (I have nothing against counseling/therapy and have gotten it for other things). My therapy for anxiety behaviors is vigorous, regular, exercise to reduce stress. I run 3-5 miles or attend a Karate class almost every day. This has been proven to be as effective as anxiety medications (see the book SPARK for the details of the scientific research). If exercise isn't an option for you, or it doesn't work, then I would recommend therapy. This is a compulsive behavior that doesn't stop because someone laughs at you or because you want to stop.

I would also visit a doctor or dermatologist about your skin health, also. There may be a treatment that could help how your skin feels and reduce the need to scratch.

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I have fidgety problems too. The worst was biting/chewing my nails and cuticles. I stopped that with fake nails, but I feel like I can't ever take them off or I'd start again. I do still chew on my fingers, esp in the winter when it's dry. I make sure to stop as soon as I notice, put on lotion and do something else to distract myself like type, drink water, eat pumpkin seeds.

I've done this to my face too where I'll mess with acne constantly (I never had much either). With this I just try to wash my face and treat the acne as soon as I notice it. Also, I continually apply concealer to it which seems to make me more mindful of touching my face since I don't want to smear it or get it on my hands.

But I don't really have a good solution either. Because for me if I don't do one thing I do another (nail biting, snacking a ton, chewing on straws/pens, twirling my hair etc.)...Drinking a lot of water/tea seems to keep me relatively distracted but maybe I should look into therapy too. Heh...

But my best advice is to be strong and at least notice every time you do it and stop. Maybe snap yourself with a rubber band or something....

I do this a lot with my skin as well. I pretty much try to make a consious effort to stop, but keeping my skin clean and then not wanting to touch it with dirty hands and using a stress ball has helped a lot.

Regardless of anything else this is pry a manifestation of stress and anxiety. It's a common one. It's called picking my doctor always tells me. I did it for a long period of time. It's like some grind teeth, some rare people pull out hair. Regardless this is more than likely a manifestation of the anxiety you think you have under control. To a certain degree you do but your manifestation is pry worse in this manner than it was before.

I've screwed up my face so bad I need a chemical peel... but in order to stop doing that I started to grind my teeth... now I'm ruining them and I opted to use a Benzo for now to help me. But anxiety, nervousness, whatever you want to call it can be uglier than you feel inside.

I'd go to a behavioral therapist and see about learning to do more constructive things with your anxiety.

First, talk to your primary care doc about medication for the acne. That's not going to solve the compulsive behavior, but it'll give you a leg up, and keep you from developing serious infections.

Second, find a therapist that works with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It's the only type of therapy that has been shown, under rigorous study, to have long term benefits for anxiety disorders. This therapist won't waste time trying to create a story out of why you started this behavior (for some kinds of issues, this can be extremely useful; for compulsive behaviors, not so much.) A CBT therapist will help you develop specific strategies to change your compulsive behavior, and ultimately (hopefully) completely alleviate it. You don't need to do this on your own. I wish I had someone to refer you to, but I was living in NY when I went through CBT (for Generalized Anxiety Disorder.) Get a referral from your primary care doc, or your health insurance company - or do an online search, there's likely to be some kind of local CBT organization. Good luck!

You might be deficient in calcium/magnesium. Work on clearing your skin up and find a way to destress.

I'm 65 yrs. old and had the exact same problem from my teens until almost 40 yrs. old. I'm the oldest of 5 siblings and none of the others had any acne. As I got into mid 20's, got married and took birth control pills between 2 pregnancies, the adult acne didn't get better and usually got worse. Twice in about 20 yrs. my dermatologist put me on Accutane since nothing else worked. The first time on Accutane completely cleared up all acne for about 2-4 yrs., but then it started again. Since the 2nd round of Accutane, about 25 yrs. ago, I've had almost zero acne.

I know that Accutane is a very serious drug to take, with some side affects, and can cause birth defects if you are pregnant. I was on birth control both times and wasn't pregnant and my face was so bad that I was very withdrawn. I knew I wanted to take any risks associated with Accutane, and have no problems or regrets since.

I used to be more perfectionistic about many things when I was younger, and wondered if I was trying to "create" a perfect, acne free complexion, which is why I continued to pick and squeeze at the pimples. I don't know why I did this.

In hind sight I wonder if this isn't some form of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)? Perhaps taking an antidepressant or low dose of medicine for OCD would help. Counseling might help, if nothing more, than to break the cycle. I empathize with you as your problem brought back so many bad memories. I hope I gave you a couple of good suggestions so that you don't feel hopeless. You may have to decide to take some risk in order to solve the problem.