Spanking Help Please

Spanking it not discipline, it is, at times, a way to get attention when something seriously happens. Like about to be hit by a car. Otherwise it is lazy parenting because all it does is teaches the child to hide anything from you that could end in a spanking.

awwwww, no.
just read the post about your little guy who is having trouble staying dry, and now i can see why.
i can only imagine what an 'exchange of discipline ideas' will be among people who are 'pro' hitting their kids.
we do have one prolific corporal punishment poster here. i'm sure you two will have a big time chatting about how better to cow your little ones.
:( khairete
S.

Nope. I chose not to hit my child.

Nope, sorry. I don't think teaching a kid that the bigger person gets to hit the smaller person actually works out in the end. Especially when that kid grows up to be taller/stronger than the mom.

What ideas do you need to exchange if you think spanking solves the problem anyway?

I never saw hitting my child as a good discipline method.

Per you SWH....Your children are way to old to be spanked...please stop! Clearly this method is ineffective. Btw...I thought you were referring to slapping the backside of a two year old.

If spanking works so well, why do you need more ideas? I suggest you watch a few episodes of Supernanny. All of the behaviors you are mentioning in your So What Happened, especially stealing and lying, are the result of improper discipline techniques. So the spanking that you so fervently believe in is not working, is it? Why do you continue to believe in something that is proving itself to be wrong? The proof is in the pudding, as they say.

ETA reading below: OMG you are spanking your child because he can't stay dry?!? Poor kid. That is so misguided. Please watch Supernanny.

How old is your child?

What are the behavior problems you are dealing with?

Spanking doesn't work. You need to try an alternative like time outs. A minute per their age. Or you can warn that, "If you do that, you're not going to get to go to the mall this weekend." Or "If you continue to do that when mommy has asked you not to, you will not have time on the iPad tonight.", etc. Small measurable action/reaction, action/consequence practices. Nothing mean or severe. I was spanked as a child.....it did not have the achieved affect but when I was grounded (from doing something fun...that was more effective. Also, the consequence has to be commensurate with the action. Meaning if I didn't listen, they didn't send me to my aunt's house in Iowa. If I forgot to set the table, they weren't mean and didn't let me have a snack. It's common sense, some careful thought and parenting with love and some kindness but outlined boundaries.

I believe giving kids swats is a good way to get their attention. To let them know they have pushed you as far as they can. It is the final thing.

If you do it all the time it loses it's power. There are other ways for kids to learn.

Love and Logic classes really helped me to learn when natural consequences make a bigger impact that spanking.

Ok so instead of judging you I'm going to answer your question unlike these other mothers. Every child is different so here are a few things that I use. Time outs don't work....six minutes sitting out of whatever doesn't work. It does if you have an extremely sensitive child...but if you are having alot of behavioral problems and need help this is not the case. 1. Take away privledges like watching tv. This one usually works. If you don't let them watch TV take awake the usage of toys/books or whatever they like to use short term. 2. Have them earn them back if it was a repeat offense. If you have another child and they see that their sibling gets to still play or have whatever was taken away...so it makes them want to obey more.

3. Positive reinforcement. Sometimes I praise them like crazy when they do good things. This way they want to listen more and they feel good about it.

4. I've also tried the reward system for being good but usually that ends up with kids always expecting reward for good behavior and when she doesn't always get it she stops.

Hope this helps

i only use spanking when EVERY other discipline option has failed.
i use the 123 magic route. if i have to 123 AFTER they have had the time out for something then its a spankin.. but this has yet to happen. anymore i get to 2 and things change.
read the book. train your children to behave. and move on.