Son's Gaining Weight Very Fussy Eater

Here's a few ideas:

1. Stay away from packaged food, fast food and sweets.

2. Get him involved in cooking. If he helps stir he's more likely to eat it.

3. Do a study together on what you body needs to be healthy and strong. If you give him the facts he may come to his own conclusions about the food he eats.

I am a family nutrition coach. I can help if you are serious. If you wnat someon to tell you "it fine, he'll grow out of it" don't call me. I deal with real issues with real families. My passion is truly making a difference in the lives of children and parents. Consultations are always free.

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He's still kind of young and at that age where he is willing to go along with things that Mom and Dad suggest. That being the case, if you haven't already, start having him to prepare meals with you. When he goes to the grocery store, allow him to pick one packaged and non-packaged (which is basically a fruit or a vegetable) item to buy, and help him prepare it for dinner, either using a recipe that you both agreed upon or just off the top of your head. This sense of control and purpose will help him enjoy fruits and vegetables more. Borders and Barnes & Nobles has some pretty good kid recipe books in stock that will help you with this.

Another tactic is to hide fruits and vegetables in the food that you make for him until he unwittingly aquires the taste for it, at which point, he should eat the broccoli without protest. If you go this route, I would suggest checking out Jessica Seinfeld's (Jerry's wife) The Sneaky Chef cookbook.

Other than that, try not to say anything about weight in front of your son even if you think he is not listening. Kids don't need to be burdened by our adult judgments. They just need us to show them how to live a healthy, happy and productive life.

I have one son who can eat anything and is skin and bones and another who packs on the pounds. My son was also calling himself fat and so were others. I would never say the word "diet" to him but begin to make "healthy choices!" This is your chance to save him from ridicule and diabetes. I stopped all fast food! Do Subway sandwiches when eating out is a must. No soda except special parties. No more chicken dinsouars or hotdogs. I got in the kitchen and got to cooking. Every night, it was not easy. Substitute turkey burger for tacos and other ground beef recipes. Start out committing to change 1 or 2 meals a week with your new game plan. Then after 2 weeks add a day. My son lost 12 needed pounds over 4 months last year and we are all eating better. If he only likes a few fruits and veggies keep getting those down him! Don't be obessed counting calories or fat and DO NOT give sweet-n-low or other diet alternatives that is worse then real sugar! Weight Watchers has a kids program too.
Best of luck! Any other questions about how I managed the reluctance shoot me an email. Best of luck:) I also cut out hot lunch at school and that was huge!!!

SO many great responses... but please, do address his emotions as well.... you don't want him to get hung up on "skinny" or "fat" stereotypes or have it affect his confidence and social life or self-image.

"Husky" does not always mean "fat."
I would take him to the Doctor first... have the Doctor assess him. THEN according to the Doctor's diagnoses... take that direction.

This way, You AND your son will have the Doctors analysis of it and of his physical "growth/weight" and that should be enough "proof" for your son to understand. Then, and only then, go according to what the Doctor suggests.

For all you know.. .maybe your son is still within the weight/height guidelines of what is 'normal.' Then he would be punishing himself over being "fat" for nothing.

For children, it's really important to make sure their self-image is nurtured, no matter what their 'size.' You don't want his poor self-image issues to escalate as he gets older.

Take care and all the best,
Susan

Hey K.

It is good that you ask for advice. You need to be a good role model for your little boy. I want to encourage you to go to my website. There is video of a husky little boy giving his testamony on how a nontransdermal patch by Lifewave has helped him with his weight problem. No drugs or chemicals. Go to Lifewave.com/kherihealth Let me know if I can answer any questions. ###-###-####. I would say more, but I have to pick my kids up from school.

Hi, K.,

I would keep junk food out of the house and make fresh fruits and vegetables readily available.

I would NOT sneak vegetables into your son's food because, if your attempt at deception fails, then your son will resent and mistrust you, and if it succeeds, then your son as an adult will not buy or volunteer to eat the items he disliked as a kid. (Isn't the whole point to get your son to live a healthy life THROUGHOUT his life?) I treat vegetables as dessert and eat all types of vegetables in front of my kids. They love many types of vegetables. Modeling (behavior) is powerful.

Try to stick to a program of frequent cardio and strength-training and get your son to do the same.

Good luck,
Lynne E

I am battleing the same issue with my son. He just turned 7 is 49 inches and almost 70 lbs. His favorite foods are hamburgers and pizza and getting him to eat anything else besides treats is a chore. He is super active in sports and we ride bikes everywhere, but he still gains weight. I now monitor everything he eats and I feel like the food warden. He gets what is on his plate and that is it. He can choose to eat it or not. That is his choice. Missing a meal won't hurt him. He doesn't get to eat as much as he wants either. I control his portions and try to teach what is a healthy amount to eat. I see other kids getting to eat as much as they want, when they want, and I feel guilty and sad that my little guy must be monitored in order to keep him healthy and teach him control so that when he is older he can take care of himself. I am strict right now but hopefully it is for his healthy future.

First off, I'd consult with your doctor and make sure there is not an underlying issue. I would also make an appt for both of you to go to a nutritionist. If you leave near the San Fernando valley try Elisa Calvo in Tarzana. She is excellent and is great with kids. Also, you might try to come up with an exercise program, sport etc. Please get some help for you son, it sounds like his self esteem is really being impacted - kids can be super cruel!

My first thought was that this is no big deal, kids grow into their weight in cycles. After reading the responses, I did a little research and found an Ideal Body Weight calculator on About.com (link at bottom)

I think it's really about choices. You don't want your boy to be the "fat kid" because of all the teasing and ridicule that go along with it. He's in the 95% for his age/weight.

Basically, I think you need to set a different standard for how he eats. He can have as much of the good foods as he wants and then set a limit on the sweets/snack foods that we love, but aren't really good for us.

The idea of having him help shop and cook with you is great! You need to change his palate so that he learns to love the other foods in life. There are loads of websites out there with tricks for feeding picky eaters. You just have to set the bar and not waver. It WILL be hard at first, but be loving. Come up with different ways to have treats.

Weight Watchers and vegetarian websites often have great treat ideas. At my house, we buy frozen fruit and "dry grind" it in our food processor so there are no big chunks. Then add a little milk or non dairy creamer and some equal or splenda and it's like having ice cream. Smoothies are another way to get lots of fruit and protein into your boy and they are great in the morning, esp with some protein powder.

http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/growthcharts2/l/bl_ibw_cal...

Stephanie had great advice!

I wish you much success!

http://supermarketguru.com/page.cfm/2925

http://www.diabeteshealth.com/read/2005/05/01/4274.html

Please take a look at these websites regarding High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS). It is in almost everything--even food we think of as healthy. It is scary stuff. It was meant to be a substitute for cane sugar, but it is not processed by the body like sugar. It leads to weight gain and diabetes. More people are becoming aware of the dangers of HFCS and many manufacturers are cutting it out of their products. I have stopped buying anything with it as an ingredient. Maybe you can try cutting this out of your son's diet. It has made a difference for us.

Perhaps, talking with his pediatrician on your concerns on how he is beginning to feel about himself. Both of you could make a visit as a routine checkup on his development. The pediatrician could help by showing and discussing his growth chart. (If needed) He may refer you both to talk to a nutritionist. Be sure that both the pediatrition and the nutritionist is talking to both of you, but relaying this to how your 6yr can understand. It should be give with positive reinforcements and given with the opportunity for your 6yr old to ask any questions.

Your child is bright; active and clear that he is making his choices. Given more positive knowledge and what better choices he can make, he would have better tools to make decisions.

Good luck to both of you, and whoah... I'm in that homonal change as well ..., we likewise need that support. HUGS!

Hi K., Husky and fat is not the same thing, the salads, and banana's and some summer fruits are good. Mom since you probably do the food shopping, only buy healthy foods, I have a daughter who now is 19 but never liked milk, fruits or vegis. not much meat, loves her sweets and cheeses, and bread, and she is 5 feet 9 inches and weights 110 pounds and wears a size 2 jeans, can't figure it out, she is a dancer and gets a lot of exercise. If you can cut out your late night cookies, that would set a better examole for your son. J. L.

Hi Kelly....at least you're honest about your own eating habits!!! :-) I too am 49 (almost 50) and have already gone through the menopause thing...fortunately with no drugs and have to watch EVERYTHING I stick in my mouth...but maintain my own weight pretty good, but I eat healty and get LOTS of exercise...everyday....

My 4 children (mostly grown now), and were very small in kindergarten (30lb. range), but our one daughter, though always small, when she turned 11 (puberty age) she began putting on lots of weight....I became concerned and talked to her doctor about it more than once, and the doctor said, "oh, she'll grow out of it"....I kept waiting for that...and she just got bigger and bigger....fast forward to 15 years old, I took her to Weight Watchers and one year later she is down 50 lbs. and has another 15 - 20 to lose...but she's doing fantastic and looks good, feels way better about herself and can hardly wait to lose those last lbs.

So, you may want to really be careful with your own eating especially because our children are watching us and if they see us eating the "late-night cookies" they'll want to do the same thing. Kid's tastes do change throughout the years and if you continue to show by your example that you're eating a healthy diet, even if they "hate" most healthy stuff now, it will change...but be careful to think that he'll just out-grow the "baby fat" on his own without plenty of activity and healthful eating habits.

Good luck and hope for healthy days ahead for you and your son.

P.

Hi K.,

Take control of this now, while you still can. Your son is only six & you have all the power to choose what he eats. Yes he might whine & complain, but it will work out over time. Explain to him the importance. Don't make his weight the focus. Make good health the focus. Eating habits are learned. It is quite simple. Only have healthy foods in your home. Let him relearn to enjoy healthy eating. Fruits, vegetables, low fat meat choices (chicken & fish), moderate amonts of cheese, etc. Use sweets only occasionally & in moderation (one or two cookies, not four).

It also sounds like you need some changes as well. It is a wonderful opportunity to get healthy together! I do understand, as you said, that your weight gain is from steriods, which is hard to impossible to control. However, you can eat healthy together.

Good luck! Stay dedicated to this & you will see amazing results all around!

When my son was 8 yrs old he began to gain weight and would not take off his shirt. We sat down and talked about how food is fuel and he needed to make good decisions about what he puts in his mouth. This might be best modeled by you in food choices and discipline.

I too fight the changes that menopause brings and I can tell you that there are options for those of us that the deck seems stacked against.

I would recommend Carb Blockers, a product called Slimmetry, and good protein shakes to replace meals with. There are Fiber Cookies that are delicious and better for us also. You can browse these products on we-us.mychoices.com. These products have a money back guarantee that I really like because there are no questions asked, you get your money back and do not pay for the shipping back. Win win for me!

Good luck, let your son see the power in his body, the potential of his future. My son is now a strong powerful young man in control of his weight.

Talk to your pediatrician about your son's weight. He could still be within the normal range, maybe just on the high end of it. If this is the case, that could reassure your son that he's not fat (or, if the doctor says he IS overweight, stress what can be done to solve the problem). Also, find out why suddenly your son has some self-consciousness -- is he merely aware that he's filled out, or did some other kid poke fun at him? Ask the pediatrician if there's anything you should be doing to monitor or lower your son's weight. I think at this age if a child is truly overweight they usually recommend severely limiting time in front of the TV or computer games and getting him as active as possible. I don't think they stress putting kids on a diet, which would be very difficult, but letting them "grow into" their weight -- keeping the weight stable as they grow taller and eventually it balances out. I have a picky eater, too, and it's a constant challenge to get nutritious food into him, but keep experimenting til you find healthy things he's willing to eat. Don't keep any junk in the house. He can't eat it if you don't have it! Try letting him dip fresh or steamed veggies into ranch dressing or hummus; dipping fruit into yogurt; or toss green beans, broccoli, cauliflower, etc., with a TINY bit of sesame oil or garlic-flavored olive oil. My son always HATED green beans and now he eats fresh ones if they have a bit of garlic flavor to them. Take whatever healthy food he's willing to eat and use it as a way to expand his diet (with my kid, the discovery that he likes garlic was a huge blessing, because now he's at least willing to try new veggies if I tell him there's garlic in them. Sometimes he doesn't like them, but sometimes -- like with the green beans -- it's a big hit). Another mom told me that one of her kids was suddenly willing to eat green beans when she said "look, they're just like french fries -- they're shaped the same" (and I think she dipped them in ketchup, which isn't ideal but better your kid eats veggies dipped in ketchup than no veggies at all). My son also recently discovered hot sauce and wants it on everything. This might be a bit much for a 6-year-old, but see if he likes things dipped in barbecue sauce, or vinegar, or salsa ... experiment like crazy and see what works. Good luck.

maybe try to encourage him to try new foods with you! and let him pick out the vegies and fruits at the store. my daughter will eat just about anything she picked a mango out at the store at 14mo and ate and that was her first mango ever. stress to him that hes not fat and its so sad to hear him say that. all kids go through a stage where they get bigger around and not taller and then just shoot up in hieght. tell him that eating healthier along with him being already active will help him burn of the wieght he wants to. he can still have the cookies and ice cream but in moderation ya know. good luck i hope this is helpful to you!

Try to make most meals homemade and cut out prepackaged meals, quick fixes, etc. I'm working on doing that. There is so much fat and salt (among other things) in those convenience meals. Watch his carbs, switch to wheat bread and pasta products. Don't cut out all of the good stuff, just eat in moderation. It takes about 20 offerings of a food before a child will eat and like it. familyfun.com has lots of healthy, kid friendly recipes.

Hi K.,
I'm a little late in responding but I thought I'd suggest The Wisdom of Menopause by Dr. Christiane Northrup. Although I haven't read the book, I read another book by her entitled Women's bodies, Women's wisdom and she's wonderful. Good luck to you and your boy:)