Son Wetting His Pants

Sometimes slight changes in their life can cause "slidebacks" in potty training progress. Even something like warm weather can be that problem. My daughter who is 4 even sometimes has accidents and she's been totally trained since 28 months old. Seeing that he's only been trained fomr 3 months I dont think that 2 weeks of a mishap is a issue personally I'd just keep reminding him to use the potty as if you were training him all over again. I know its frusterating but kids are hard work. Training can take years trust me I have to remind my daughter every time we leave the house to go before we leave

I agree with the people who say 2.5 is early for potty training. My mom decided that she would visit for a week and potty train my son when he was 2.5. It was fine for that week when she could spend all day with him (I work full time). After that, it was a mess until he was 3.5 and he wasn't fully trained until he was 4. I remember how frustrating the whole thing was; it was one of the few times I was REALLY upset with my son. I think you have to not make a big deal of accidents - as people have suggested - and be super patient. My son is fine now, but it took awhile. I will not even think about potty training with my new son until he is at least 3.

First remember he is only 2, most doctors say kids really aren't fully pottied trained till 5 or 6. That is when the get the full aspect of everything. I first would not punish him for having an accident, but in turn reward him when he goes in the potty. When he does have an accident, remind him, "if you want a cookie, next time pee pee in the potty"

Aslo, I wanted to comment about him testing your patience. I love country music and Billy Dean puts out a song called, "let them be little" When ever my kids test my patience doing typical kid stuff, I say those lines in my head, let them be little. It reminds me that they are little and don't try to make them grow up too fast! Let him jump in the mud puddle, let him crawl in bed with you at 2 am, etc. Because you will miss it when he doesn't do it any more!

Hi S.,

Congratulations on the potty progress you are making with your son. I think it is very normal to have accidents and regress at this age.
I was recently shopping at Learning Express and saw a "potty watch" for kids this age. The child wears it and you set it to alarm at the interval that you choose (every 30 minutes, 45 minutes, etc). I plays a cute little song to remind them to stop what they are doing and go to the potty.
I was wishing that I had seen these when my kids were potty training, because it seemed like years that I had to remind my daughters every half hour to try to use the potty.
Learning Express has stores in Cary and Raleigh (I think). They also have a website.

We recently made a chart--I drew a snake on a piece of paper and put little circle spots on it. It's posted in the living room (near the TV). Each time he went in the potty he got to put a sticker on the spot. When all the spots were full he got a cowboy & horse. Now we are onto the dinosaur (not a very good drawing), but it's working and he'll get a dragon. We upped the number of spots on the dragon so it would take a little longer, but the visual aspect helps him see that his prize is almost in sight. Good luck! This aspect of parenting has been the worse!! Mom of 3 1/2 year old! :)

Hi S.,
You're right.. 2.5 is pretty young for little boys to be potty trained. My guess is that his success was novel and probably got him good attention/ reward when he trained initially. The novelty has worn off, and the behavior hasn't had time to become habit. Like an exercise program for us. In other words, he still has to think through the process of needing to go, deciding to go to the toilet immediately, and then following through. Because the novelty, praise, or reward has dropped off, he of course chooses entertainment (feels good) somewhere between the 1st and 2nd step of the process. Whatever you did at first, to train him so quickly, do that again, except maybe change the reward to keep it exciting for him. Punishing him or disapproving at this point will be as effective as my WiiFit nagging me because I haven't kept my good habit a month after Christmas. ; ) Allow 6 weeks for the training to become habit, where he doesn't have to really think about making a choice each time. After a week, you may want to trade instant rewards with bigger daily rewards, and a couple weeks later, trade those for even bigger weekly rewards to promote that consistancy for him. One other thing.. he's also at the end of his fierce independence stage, and while "being a big boy" felt good initially, he might be reverting as a comfort mechanism, not to lose his babyhood. Just a glitch moving forward. Your patience will reward you very soon.
J.

S., you've gotten some very good advice from several people. I'd like to underscore the fact that this is, in all likelihood, something that will pass in short order. If it does not, be aware there could be a connection to ADHD to look out for in the future. But, it sounds as though your son is just not as worried as you about the potty issues. You might try putting him in pull up underpants for a while. If it doesn't help him, it will at least help you keep your furniture dry!

I like the idea of the snake, horse, dino, etc. no big reward but tangible, visible progress that he can chart and he gets the reward of a new picture to fill in with each step of the way. Cool! I'm not really keen on rewards for a child doing something they should do anyway. It might not be a good idea to get them to expect some kind of remuneration just for doing the right thing. However, it might be a good incentive to, like an animal in training, give a treat sometimes just to show how pleased and proud you are.

Just remember, stay relaxed and don't stress out over this. Pick your battle carefully. Decide what's REALLY worth warring over. It's a little bump not a mountain to climb, not even a mole hill. He, and you, will get past this soon enough.

First, I think it's great that your 2 1/2 year old son is potty trained! Boys typically train later (my son was 3 1/2). My son did the same thing! He was potty trained completely (and just all of a sudden), then started having accidents. Sometimes right as he got to the potty! It was so frustrating. Boys (in my experience with friends' kids and my own son) seem to be less concerned with things around them sometimes -- they get so involved playing, watching TV, whatever, that they don't pay attention to when they need to potty. Then, they have to go so badly all of a sudden, they just can't make it. My son did that for a while, and then it just stopped. So, I believe (based on my experience) that it will just get better and he'll stop having issues. Good luck and I hope I'm right! ;)

Be patient, boys get busy and forget, even though he trained early does not mean it sticks 100% He will stop in time. I would sugest not punishing him, and set a timer on the stove or counter for ever two hours, as it dings have him go potty if he does then reward him....if not it may be time to place him in pull-ups for s time. My sons are 26, and 21 and even now I see them getting busy and then running to the BR..... Remember with potty training and other goals, as long as he is trained by his wedding day you have been successful...:)

You are probably expecting too much. Even though he has been potty trained...he is still not completely developed in his bladder - The feelings are not as strong as ours when we have to use the bathroom - therefore easier to ignore. My daughter is 3 and has been potty trained for a while but had an accident the other day - they are few and far between. I would never punish in these situation...he is too young and not developed enough. Punishment (as he really is still being potty trained) is never a good thing. Patience is the best thing. I know it is frustrating, but when you look at it scientifically he can't really help it. One day you will look back and wish he was still in this phase..they grow up too fast!!!! Good luck!

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My son potty trained at two with the help of his older brother. He is now 27 1/2 months and does very well with it but he has accidents for a few days then they stop. My oldest son did the same thing when he was over 3 yo.

When you punish your son, you need to ask yourself if you are doing it because you are frustrated or because you truly believe he should correlate potty training with fear. My oldest son responded best to rewards of M&Ms in the beginning then a song and dance when he was at your son's stage. I found that doing silly things to reward him outweighed anything else I could have done. I also give lots of praise to my youngest son. He didn't respond to the candy approach. I also found with my 2 yo, he wets himself less if I praise him for doing anything on the potty. If his undies are a little wet but he finishes on the potty, I praise him for stopping when he realized he had started.

Good luck. I think this has to be one of the most frustrating parts of parenting a toddler.

I would greatly hesitate on the punishment for accidents.

My son is 27 1/2 months old, and he had urinary reflux (and a kidney infection at one week old). His urologist told me in no way to rush him with potty training and to avoid constipation and him holding his urine. So I have had ZERO goals or aspirations for potty training. I just figured he would do it in his own time and way.

A couple of weeks ago, he started wanting to go to the potty, then he started using it, then he had a bowel movement in the potty. I prompted none of this. He has still had accidents but I am amazed at his progress. I do not have an expectation for when he will be fully potty trained.

I hope this offers some encouragement as to how just changing our attitudes can be a tremendous help instead of trying to change our child's habits before he is ready. Instead of frustration I have had nothing but amazement for my son's accomplishments!

I think maybe your expectations may be too high. My two oldest boys were not potty trained completely until they were 3 years old and it took my youngest son until he was 4 years old to be completely potty trained. It is not that he doesn't want to please you. It is a developmental issue with boys--developmentally he just may not be able to control his bladder at this age.

Just relax and try not to make it worse with your reaction when he has an accident. Just keep it low key..."Ut oh--looks like you had a little accident and wet your pants. Let's get you cleaned up honey." Your reaction will have a huge impact on how he reacts when he has an accident. If you get mad and make a big deal out of it he won't want to tell you when he wets his pants.

The key with your children is that you always want them to tell mommy when there is a problem. Start that young and when they are 16 years old and at a party and their ride home is getting drunk they will call you. If you make it hard to tell mommy things when they are young they will stop telling your anything. And believe me, (I have teenagers) there are things that you will need to know to keep your children safe.

With my three children, if they had an accident while playing with a toy, I took that toy away for a period of time. If they were watching a cartoon, they got the TV taken away for a period of time. They found out it was better to leave playtime or cartoon time to go to the bathroom than to have it taken away for a couple of days.

Instead of asking him if he has to go potty, tell him it is time to go. Then positively reinforce every time he uses the toilet. Have him go right before he gets involved in something where he is focused. And as hard as it will be, don't have a negative response to him wetting his pants. Try to be calm and don't at all punish him for it. Sorry you're having a frustrating time! Good luck...

The worst thing you can do is make a big deal about it, it will become a control issue.

My daughter did the same thing, she potty trained before she was 2 and at about 2 1/2 (6-8 months of no problems) she was having lots of accidents. Frustrating. Acceptance helped make it easier. It is what it is.

It must be a developmental stage, often babies will "put aside" a learned skill so they can take on mastering a new one. At 2.5, children are really getting into discovering toys and taking on more stimuli.

DO remind him often. For my girl, I had to put her on the potty as she would claim she did not have to go.

So when an accident happens, just say "Oops! Let's clean it up!" (have him help) Then get on with your day like nothing happened.

He wont do it forever.
As for the bed, Mine is almost 4 and still in a pull up. She can go a few nights, but not a full week, so instead of her feeling bad about it all the time, she will wear a pull up til she's ready.

Patience.
It is not forever!

P

First you don't punish a child for wetting his pants it causes too many issues. Set a timer for every hour and take him to the bathroom don't just ask him make him go. But don't get angry with him regression is very normal