Bribery and When to Use Training Pants

Every child is different, but most will potty train when they are ready and some are more stubborn about it than others! My son is finally potty trained (hallelujah!) and it took us a full year of cheering, then stickers, then giving him treats as rewards. I'm not above giving M&Ms (that's what we used). However, we did have a few weeks where my son decided he would poop a little at a time (more M&Ms that way!) so then we had to start judging his poops (good lord, I never thought I'd be examining a poop to determine how many M&Ms it was worth!). In any case, asking for treats petered off a while back, but he was still in pull-ups most days and underwear on the weekend. At the end we felt he was getting confused by going back and forth so bit the bullet and told him we had run out of pull-ups and couldn't afford more (hopefully these things won't come back to haunt me in therapy years later!) so he had to wear underwear. And you know what, he has worn underwear from that day on and only had one tiny accident (it's been nearly a month now!)! We continually tell him how proud we are of him and we do put a pull-up on him at night still but praise him endlessly when he wakes up and it's dry. Since being potty trained during the day, he's more apt to wake at night now to go potty, which is tiring, but good. I don't think it will be long now before he's night trained as well.... I think if she goes 90 per cent of the time, you should try underwear for a whole day and reward her at the end of that, then go two days and so on... If she can go even a day with underwear and not have an accident, she's very close to being potty trained.

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I went straight to panties and only used diapers ay night for the first 7-10 days of training. At that point, she was waking with dry diapers on a very regular basis. In the 8-9 months she's been trained, there have only been a handful of night time accidents and I can attribute those mostly to being sick (and having to take Benadryl) or a big disruption in schedule. I know night training isn't so common at this age, but I got lucky.

My daughter showed many signs of readiness at 2 years, but I missed my window and had to wait until 2.5 before she seemed cooperative again. I didn't want to use candy. I resisted using candy. I was in denial about the candy.

The candy worked. I think the "reward" can be different for every kid. Some kids love cars, trains, stickers, etc...not mine. She loves jelly beans and m&ms. That being said, a very big reason that I believe it worked was because treats are very few and far between in our house. A child that gets sweets on a regular basis may not be so receptive.

I had three screw-top jars...jelly beans, marshmallows, and m&ms that resided just outside the bathroom. She could have one or two jelly beans or marshmallows for peeing and m&ms for pooping. Nothing for "trying"...only do or don't do. At some point, she would say that "I want chocolate" instead of "I need to poop".

She was virtually accident-free in two weeks and once the treats were gone, they were gone. After the first few days, I didn't offer the treat and she only got it when she asked.

For the record...she did just fine with stickers ay daycare. Maybe I caved too early, but it was worth it for a speedy process.

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Well let me tell you first, its not bribery, its not rewards, its creative parenting. lol. First of all, I know how frustrating it can be. I have twin boys and I tried on and off for over 6mos when they were 2 1/2 to potty train them. One would catch on and then stop and then the other would catch on then stop. Daycare was also helping me out. They did alot better at daycare then at home. Partly my fault, I didn't have the patience of sitting around in the bathroom waiting for them to go. I tried reading stories, sing songs etc. just to get them to sit there for a minute. My boys get bored with things really quickly. So I gave up after a while because nothing was working. Then when they 3 1/2 I decided that they need to get this down. They would move to the next class in school if they are not potty trained, all their friends were moving. So I thought to myself to just trained one at a time. For some reason I picked the one that had the least interest in it, in hopes that his brother would just follow. For some reason in worked in litteraly 3 days. No treats, nothing. We did make an occasional phone call to dad at work to share the excitement. After that three days I did use pull-ups for about 3 weeks just to be safe and then after that training pants. I just told them it was underwear. They won't know the difference unless you show them. Now there is my second son. It definately did not go as easy at the first one. We tried stickers, it didn't work. I tried not giving anything for trying and only a sticker or m&m for actually going. I don't think he really knew what the difference was so when I would give him something he felt like he didn't do a good job. He got bored with the stickers. He understood the m&ms a little better. I was taking him every hour. I was really at my whits end and then I got some advice from someone on this website. The advice was to get an little electronic hand held game for them to play with only when they are sitting on the potty. My boy is really attracted to anything electronic. So I found a "CARS" game at Walmart for $10. I put it up on the shelf so he could see it. I told him that he could play with it only when he sat on the potty. It worked like a charm. He was going from sitting on the potty for maybe 10 seconds, if I was lucky, to sitting on the potty for 3 minutes. It got to the point that I could just leave it on the tubs edge and he would go in by himself, grab his game and go potty. He never played the game otherwise. I think I even heard dad playing it a time or two. hehe. After a few weeks the pullups went away during the day and then to training pants just because we had them and now to underwear. They have never had an accident at school and only a few at home. They just turned 4 in march and we are diaper free. We actually found some the other day and the boys wanted to take them to the Baby House at school for extras. I am just about the take the next step and not having any pullups at night for my first son because he hasn't had any accidents for about 4 weeks and has been waking up to go potty. The other, well lets just say, we have some work to do. Ahhhhh....to be potty training free. So just hang in there. There is no rule of how you do things, I have tried them all. Just have patience. She just might be a little young yet and I understand how the pressure of being potty trained for school can add to the pressure. Have you ever thought about finding a school where they don't need to be potty trained so young. Just a thought. :) Sorry for the book.

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Rewarding your child does work. My son loves to listen to stries so for a week every two hrs we would go to the potty and he would pee or not we would sit there for few minutes and may be read a small story. In a week he started liking the experience. Also both me and my husband started giving him a hug every time he went potty and he loved the attention. When ever he had an accident we would say yucckkky together and he hated the dirty feeling.

Now in a month my son is fully potty trained.

I was told when the issue of potty training came up for my first child, that there were three things you could not make a child to do--eat, sleep, or pee or poop on cue. (sigh)

But I found you could move toward making the environment that will make the child want to do the things you desire.

My son at 4 was not potty trained and with a two year old sister behind him, I was changing a lot of diapers. I took him to meet his new preschool teacher and she said to me within ear shot of him, that she did not change or normally take children who were still in diapers. Since all his friends were going, he was very motivated to be "trained" and was trained the next day. It was the easiest thing I never did.

I don't think bribery works with toilet training. With summer coming wait for a hot week (?) and let her run pantless for a week and see how it feels to be dry. Then, introduce some really beautiful training or fancy underpants that she wants to wear. Offer them to her and let her wear them on another hot (?) week. If it doesn't work, go back to letting her run pantless again.

You will get a lot of different suggestions since everyone potty trains differently, but this was our experience (with my daughter being done training by 2.5).

1) Yes, I used bribery. In various forms (to keep things fresh). In the beginning we read short books while she sat on the potty. Once she was comfortable on it and peeing quicker I used the books less. 2 of the potty books I got had sticker charts in them and she LOVED this. One sticker for trying, one for actually going. This really helped move things along. Now I still use bribery of some kinds (we can't go out and play until you go pee, etc.) but it's mostly common sense things in that she can't go to the next activity until she pees. Find what motivates her and use it.

2) Buy her several packages of big girl panties (or cloth training pants...but call them big girl panties), wash them and put them in a basket. If she goes pee, let her pick out her own pair and wear them for a while and make a BIG deal about how much of a big girl this makes her. If the weather is nice, keep her outside or play in the kitchen or a "safe" location and (this is important) LET HER HAVE ACCIDENTS but be very calm and matter of fact "wow honey, you peed. Next time you feel that tingly feeling tell me and we'll go to the potty". Then take her to the potty and see if she finishes peeing there. This goes a LONG way to helping her really know what the sensation of peeing is like. She won't get that in a pull up or diaper. My daughter LOVEs being able to pick her own panties and still does, it's a big incentive for her. For my daughter, stressing the big girl aspect and letting her wear panties as a reward for peeing in the potty was huge. I also took her to the open house at her future preschool and she loved it. I made it a mantra "what do you need to do to go to the preschool?" and she would answer "pee in the potty and big girl panties!!!". I would remind her of this when she didn't want to sit on the potty. It helped.

Good luck!

I wouldn't bother with training pants if you can avoid them. All it does it let them think they can pee in pants without the consequences of wetness. I used to let my little girl wear panties, and when she wet them I would wait about thirty seconds longer than usual before changing them. If there was any wetness on the floor I would also have her "help" me clean up, but not in a disciplinary way.
There's nothing wrong with a small incentive as long as she really understands what's going on.

Hi Jenn,

There is a great book called Diaper Free Before 3, and I highly recommend it. It does not recommend bribery (and I don't either), and it does recommend getting them into cloth pants immediately. There are great plastic covers if you (like Dappi) if you don't want to have pee on the clothes each time. Good luck to you!

Your sister in toileting now,
L.

My son was three and still not using the potty, so I bought a "potty present" and wrapped it up and had it where he could see it, he used the potty within days to get his present. It was a jungle set of animals with paints. He painted his favorite animal his favorite color and went back to going in his pull-up. He is now 15 and I have to tell you, that painted animal is a treasure.

He also started school at this time, I told him he couldn't have an accident because the teacher would not change him, and he never did. He wore a pull-up and would often come home wet, but never a poo.

Good Luck.

I only read a few of the answers.
Ny first kid was a boy. We tried and tried the summer before he turned 3 (he is an Oct. baby). We used m&ms . He did great when he was naked but always wet his clothes. I hated the pull-ups- they didn't hold much. Our parent educator at his coop preschool told me to go back to diapers and tell him his body wasn't ready yet. He woke up dry two days in a row at 3yr 4 mos and I told him his body was ready. We never had a night time accident after that and only a few daytime accidents. I had worked so hard the summer before.
Our second is a girl. She wanted to be potty trained at 2 and a half. Once again we used m&ms- but (I smartened up a little bit) we used the mini-m&ms. Her older brother got one too for praising her efforts.
I am not sure that the reward really worked on either one of them.
I think the trick is not to get in to a power struggle with your kid (which is hard). It works much better if it is their idea and not yours. Read lots of "potty books"- we got a plethora of them at the Goodwill. Have the supplies available. Talk about it a little bit. Expose her to other potty-trained kids. And just remember that it will eventually happen.
Always remember that you are the best mom for your kid!

1) use stickers instead of food, for the reason you mentioned. Keeping food in the bathroom is gross anyway.

2) I'd try the training pants starting now. There will be some accidents but that is probably what she needs to experience in order to want to use the potty.

Good luck!

Hello!

I have a couple thoughts - change the word from bribery to incentive as that is what it is. We used chocolate chips and actually the request or need for incentive just went away (I was worried about how to stop the incentives).

Potty training pants...it's a personal thing. We never used them. I went for a few days of naked followed by underwear. He had 3 accidents TOTAL. My sister is a preschool teacher and she says that kids KNOW they are diapers and that it's NBD if they have an "accident" in them.

Good luck!
T.

I think that a lot depends on the kid and how you interact with her. She might just not be ready to be potty trained. There is a difference between going when on the potty seat and actually understanding when you need to go to the potty. The technique that worked for my son...I put a diaper under a pair of underwear (I didn't want to use pull ups). He had NEVER known "characters" before the underwear...When he wore underwear, I started by taking him to the bathroom every 30 minutes - as the week went on, I progressed to an hour between visits. By the end of the week, he was telling me that he didn't have to go when I offered him a trip to the bathroom. That is when I stopped putting the diaper on. I reminded him frequently that "Elmo" didn't want to get wet (this was a big deal to him because it was his first character thing). It worked great for my son - in 2.5 years, he has only had 2 accidents...he is a VERY easy going kid - when my daughter (now 15 months) is ready...I don't anticipate the transition being so easy...good luck, and don't push her! Oh, we DEFINITELY used M&M's...I don't think that it is bribery, I think that it is a reward...don't say "If you want an M&M you have to go potty" - she may really not need to go...just give her a treat if she does go!

Hi Jenn,

For my boys a homemade calendar and dollar store stickers did the trick. They got to put a sticker on after using the potty each time. The calendar didn't even resemble a calendar by the time the month was over. In reality it didn't take that long, but it was fun for them to keep doing the stickers.

For my daughter who will be 3 this Sunday, about 3 or 4 months ago we just started talking about it a lot with her. We tried the 'big' potty and that wasn't her thing so we bought her a $10 cheap one at Wal-Mart all pink and girly and that did it. She wanted to use it. We also used the M&M's with her which she loved. One for pee and two for the other. I bought the tube of M&M's which are the tiny ones so she was getting about 1/2 the size of a regular M&M. She is fully trained and even wakes up dry but we still use a pull-up at night just in case.

:)
Good luck and remember - she will do it when she is ready.

Jenn whatever bribery you decide on don't use candy or sweets. She needs her teeth for a lifetime. Frankly I would tell her she can start school and be with other children and play all day long if she is potty trained.

Well, I have helped four kids learn to use the potty, and I can tell you that first they all learn on their own time schedule, and second the pull ups are the biggest mistake you can make if she is already using the potty. At 2.5 it isn't reasonable to expect her to use the potty 100% of the time. Also, and this is obviously my really humble opinion, it might be a good time to look at why does she need to be in school at 3 years of age? Preschool is all fine, but maybe she just isn't quite ready for a program that demands the child be potty trained. I say this, but you should know that I homeschool my four boys, and I don't send children to preschool because I just don't find it necessary. Of course I completely understand that once a child is three and potty trained child care is usually cheaper, and the child can often join a preschool type program. Which probably has advantages.

The pull ups are just going to set back the training though. It is basically like putting her in a diaper. My strategy, which has worked every time (and has solved my friends problems with training), and had all my kids using the potty at the age of two is simple. We never use a pull up. We let them go naked as much as possible, and tolerate cleaning up the occaisional accident, but it is rare because they usually tell us when they need to go. It just isn't that big of a deal. I ask them if they need to use the bathroom. Pretty soon they just start using the potty like everyone else. Pooping, while the most predictable, often is the thing that takes the longest for my kids to want to do in the toilet. However, I know that once they start wanting to hide when they poop we are almost there. This last time I just showed my little guy that the bathroom is like a little hiding spot, and he could poop in the toilet all by himself. He thought that was great.

I guess my advice is don't rush, it will just bite you back later.

Sincerely,
N.

We give jelly beans or m & m's. One for pee and two for pooh. We don't do it every time, sometimes we let it slide just to see of he'll ask, he doesn't always ask but if he asks he gets one.

You can't command your child to be potty trained. If she has pull ups on during school and has an accident they will change her. Kids have accidents even up into kindergarten. Work on the peeing in the potty and hopefully by the end of Summer she'll be ready and able to go pee most of the time.

Pull ups are manageable for her use. To pull them down and then pull them up like panties. She can't pull a diaper up and down.

The purpose of training panties with plastic covers is so they can feel the urine collecting and know they have peed. To me that is silly because if they don't know their bladder has pressure then they aren't ready for the process anyway.

Pull ups are to let them have some independence in the pulling up and down and keeping their clothes and your floors dry.

Potty training is so very personal and you will get tons of advice but you have to remember you are the mom and whatever you do, as long as the training is a happy and fun experience for her, then it will be okay, it will happen eventually no matter what...LOL.

1) I am 100% against giving food as a reward. It gives children an emotional attachment to food that could be devistating in life. We used a sticker chart for our kids. It had 15 squares on it and once it was filled up they got to pick our a toy (out of the dollar bin or less), my kids love the vending machines at grocery stores. 25 cents can buy a toy. With each kid, they forgot about the toy aspect of it after the first couple times. They really jsut loved getting to put stickers on their chart and then hanging them (proudly) on their bedroom door once they filled it up.
2) I have battled with training pants forever with my daughter. She didnt get it until I took them away. A few days of wetting in panties and they figure it out. Training pants confuse kids. They are just like a diaper and they pee in them because they can. My son now laughs and acts proud that he peed on clifford. He trained himself at 2 1/2 (literally came home and said I want to wear underpants and use the potty. That was it he was done with diapers). Boy did I get lucky with him! But he still wears pullups at night and based on what he says, he does it because he can. I just need to get ride of them.

Rewards worked for my daughter. We used m-n-ms and mini marshmallows but stickers didn't do anything for her. She was around 2.5 when we tried (this was after trying around 19 months when she showed interest). Around 2.5 she really seemed more interested and we just moved her to underwear (or the training pants - no pullups) and planned for a lot of wet underwear/clothes. She had been staying dry at naptime for a week when we decided to try this. She had a few accidents each day but each time I'd tell her it was okay 'accidents happen.' I set the timer for every 30 minutes and would take her. If i just asked her, she'd tell me she didn't have go but when the timer went off, she ran right to the bathroom! We did 1 for trying (even if not going), 2 for pee and 5 for poop (she got 5 maybe 2x). Then I'd 'forget' to give her one and she would too. Sometimes she still asks for one and I give it to her but we evenutally just stopped giving them to her when she only tried and didn't go and then would give her 1 for pee. Then we stopped altogether. That was four months ago and she now goes when she has to - no timer!

This is what worked for us. Once our boys where using pull ups and peeing on the potty at least 50% of the time, and when they were ready for big boy undies (wanted them), we switched. The first day is always the worse. Tons of accidents and them begging to go back to pull ups, but if you stand your ground it gets better fast. Day one we had 13 accidents, day 2 we had 2. Just do not go back and forth, once you go to undies that is it, or else they will learn that if they do not feel like trying they can just go back to diapers.

First of all, it isn't exactly bribery. Think of it more as reward or incentive. And, yes, I do think that rewards are a very valuable tool to have in your parenting tool belt for getting toddlers to cooperate. You just simply don't have the time for her to realize the natural rewards for potty training vs going to 3rd grade needing the teacher to call mommy to change your pants.

Second, every child is different, and every parent is different, so what worked great for others might bomb with your daughter, and vice versa.

I potty trained 5 kids by using the naked for a weekend method. Choose one weekend to stay home (or in the backyard) and ditch the diapers. Either use thin cotton undies or just have her wear a dress with nothing on underneath, and let her know what you expect. By 2 1/2, it should work fairly easily. Tell her that she MAY NOT go potty on your floor, and if she pees in her dress it will make a big mess. Set up a reward for each time tries, and a bigger reward for each time she pees in the potty. WHEN (not IF) she has an accident, have her help clean it up, change clothes, and wash the soiled ones. It shouldn't be torture, and no guilt or punishment involved, but help her see what an inconvenience it is and how long it takes to clean it all up. For my son, I had to add a dreaded shower to the list to get the point across. By the end of the second day, she ought to be convinced and pretty good at control. Have a party or a fun night and be sure not to go back to diapers after that except for outings. Being naked makes them extra aware of themselves and reduces true accidents when they just forgot, so my son wore nothing but a shirt for almost a full year.

As for pooping in the potty, that can come weeks later or as late as a year later, it depends on the child. Concentrate on peeing in the potty, and if you know what time of day she normally poops, have a diaper on her then. For my son, it was always first thing in the morning, so we waited post-poo to remove the night diaper. If you are still using diapers for nap and bed, she will be able to "hold it" until she has a diaper on if she doesn't want to go on the potty. When she begins preschool, she probably just won't poop at school.

Be sure not to get into a power struggle or try to force her to do something because you WILL lose! Potty training is one time parents rarely win the fight. One of the kids I potty trained absolutely refused to go without a diaper or to sit on the potty, so I "ran out" of diapers one day (and conveniently found one at bed time), so we had no other choice. He didn't view this as forcing him. I also had his big sister (who he adored) "show" him how the potty chair worked privately. He felt like is wasn't something I was trying to get him to do, but a cool thing that made him more like sissy.

Good luck

Our pediatrician gave us great advice when we were discussing our daughter and potty training vs. her older brother - let the child be the guide and take their cues. It sounds like she's doing a good job, but hasn't quite gotten the hang of it. If you push too hard before she's ready, she'll likely have more accidents and regression.

With her older brother (almost 4), he was past his 3rd birthday primarily because he wasn't interested.
So, to answer your questions:

1. Yes, bribery worked for us. M&Ms didn't do the trick, not stickers. We had to offer Cars cars at $4/car. But, it worked. Find what is incentive for your daughter, and leverage it.
We'd start with having to go to the bathroom (#1 or #2 didn't matter) 3 times/day. He'd get a car. Then, he had to go 5 times/day to get a car. We'd always celebrate any accomplishment with lots of praise, but no car unless he hit his goal. Then it was 3 days without a diaper, then 5 days, then a week until finally, he had it.

2. We didn't ever use training pants, and I found Pull-ups the biggest waste of money as they don't have the recognition that it's not a fancy diaper. So, we went with diapers overnight (for about a month) and underwear during the day once he had the hang of things.

Good luck!

Hey Jenn,
My daughter just turned 2 last months and she is pretty consistently going on the potty (#1 and #2 ;) As far as a reward system goes we use extreme celebration--clapping, whooping and high 5's as well as a little chart, when she goes on the potty she gets to put a sticker on her chart. Its working pretty well, she loves stickers and is really excited when she gets to put them on her "paper"
Im not sure about the training pants, were not using them. We start the day in her big girl panties and then if she asks for a diaper later, I usually put it on--I dont want her to be stressed about it. What type of potty are you using? My daughter loves dora so we just got her a dora seat that goes over the toilet and she has dora underwear--the theme helps. We tell her not to pee-pee on dora...Its pretty funny but she is doing great and were trying to keep it light and not too serious. I hope this is helpful!
E. S.
Helping Moms Work from Home
http://keepingmyfamilyfirst.com

I use M&M's - 1 for pee and 2 for bm in my daycare (if the parents don't mind). I also don't allow the Pull Ups when starting to train - only the 3 ply undies w/ plastic liners (can get at Walmart) - Pull Ups only at nappy time and bed time. Works for me all these years!

We started with candy for food bribes, but it ended up being A LOT of candy through out the day and it didn't work so well. We have a boy so I went out and bought a bucket of super cool army men and everytime he went pee he got to pick one out of the bucket and 2 for poo. That seemed to work better than the candy bribe. But all in all in the end, he ended up taking to the potty training much quicker when we didn't bribe him.

We bought maybe 2 bags of pull ups (reluctantly) because we felt there really wasn't much difference from diapers to pull ups. At 2 1/2 children are plenty smart enough to know that they can pee in the pull up and continue playing, where if they were wearing underwear they would have to act on their feeling and get up and go, or they would pee themselves and have to get cleaned up etc.. Pull ups are nice to have on hand if your potty training and need to leave the house without worrying. We always switched back into undies when we arrived to our destination if it was potty training friendly, which actually aided in his not wanting to wear pull ups. The first few days consisted of multiple accidents,we'd tell him its okay, stick him in the bath and wash him quickly each time.. Which began to not be as much fun for him, we explained to him that if he went pee/poo in the potty instead that he wouldn't have to take a bath so often. Eventually he didn't want to take any more baths and opted to just use the toilet. We also got several night time pee pads for bed at this time and started letting him sleep with big boy pants within the 2nd week of potty training... Limited his fluid intake before bed etc. and he slept through out the night for almost 2 weeks without wetting the bed! And when he did wet the bed during nap we just used it as a learning experience and the few accidents he had is probably what made the potty training stick. Besides, us parents need time to adjust in how to change our ways to help them get on a potty friendly schedule.

Few things to remember, in the beginning remind them to go potty often, but always first thing when the wake up, before nap, and bedtime. And always before leaving the house or anywhere with a toilet! When she starts making progress, back off a little (aside from those three times they are manditory!) she will need to make some mistakes in order to learn. Give lots of positive encouragement and praise especially when she decides to go herself. The first few times our son went poop on his own accord, my hubby took him to get something special or to McD's to celebrate his big deal. He was more happy that he was pleasing us and himself than actually getting that quick chocolate chip. We even made phone calls so he could tell his grandmas, aunties about his "big" news which he thought was really great.
Our son has been potty trained for many months now and is obsessed with super hero underwear. If he EVER has an accident (very rare!) he is genuinely so upset with himself for peeing on Spiderman, that there is no reason what so ever to get mad at him or have to explain anything other than "It's okay, he can be washed, accidents happen!" It's adorable.

ind undies that your little girl is into, let her pick them out herself and have fun with it. Talk about it often positively like its the coolest thing in the world and how proud it makes you, she will eat it up! If she's anything like my son, she will want to be a big kid and wear big kid pants because thats what big kids do! Diapers are not nearly as cool as underwear.

Also! My son's fav little person is his 5 year old cousin. They have sleep overs and my son looks up to him a lot. So seeing that his big cousin goes potty by himself and wears big boy undies def didn't hurt in aiding his desires to want to do the same! Kids learn quickly from their peers, if your daughter has anyone in her life like this, then you can use that to your aid as well!

There's nothing wrong with bribery for potty training. Just do it and don't worry about it.

Use potty training pants until she is fully trained. Then go shopping together for big girl pretty panties! Make a big deal out of it!

Don't expect her to be potty trained at night just because she has day trained. Use a diaper until she is older. You'll both be a lot happier. If she wakes with a dry diaper, tell her how proud you are of her. If she wets the diaper, don't make a big deal of it.

M&M's are what I used, by the way, and my son was trained in a week. (He was 3 years old.)

Good luck,
D.

I have potty trained all of my three oldest kids using rewards, or bribery as some call it. It is really rewarding the behavior you want out of them. I didn't train any of mine until 3 and the longest one took two weeks. I trained mineusing a combo of pull ups and underwear. I usually go with just undies for a few days, but then at night we use the pull ups. I wouldn't set a deadline for when she has to be trained, that could make it take longer, since you are stressed out about it. I would go ahead and try just plain underwear, but go for cheap and buy a lot, you will go through them quickly for a few days. She needs to feel the wet and dirty mess in order to understand she needs to stop it and use the potty!
Oh and if you are uncomfortable about rewarding her with candy or food, use stickers, and tell her when she gets so many she will get a surprise or a toy she wants.