How to Potty Train My 2.5 Daughter! She Shows No Interest???

I started potty training my 2.5 old son 1 1/2 weeks ago. I too had heard that they would show interest but he never has. I just decided to bite the bullet and do it. I made a big deal...took him to the store and bought "big boy underware" with his favorite characters and told him that he was a big boy now and wouldn't wear diapers anymore. He gets an m&m when he goes in the potty. (proven to be a big motivator-he RARELY gets sweets so this is a big deal)

The first 4 days he didn't get it. I think he went on the potty once during that time. I was starting to think he was too young. He didn't even notice when he had an accident. But then, on the evening of the 4th day he told me he had to go poppie and he's been going on the potty ever since! I couldn't believe it. It was like it just clicked with him.

I work full-time and I think my sitter was even starting to question after the first few days if he was ready. But he was, he just needed some time to figure it out. BTW-my husband got frustrated with him at first and we had to have a talk about the fact that he's only been doing this for 3 days so give him a break.

I think the key is to stay committed and don't go back and forth with diapers/pull-ups and underware

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter was the same, i wanted her to be potty trained before we went on a trip out of the country last summer so i won't have to take all these diapers with us and she wouldn't do it so i gave up and took the diapers with us.. any way we came back, a few months later, before she turned 3 she went potty in the bathroom all by herself ( i realized she went because she was walking around naked, didn't put her training panties back on) and immediately after that first time, she didn't want training panties anymore and has been potty trained ever since ( same thing for nighttime she refused the panties at night as well)..i realized She just has to be ready for it. It's not only a physical readiness but mental too.Hope this helps,

1 mom found this helpful

if she shows no interest she is not ready

H.,
My advice is to just wait a year or so. I wanted to have my son trained before my daughter was born, and it was such a struggle. I finally gave up, and he figured it out when she was 2 months old. (He was 3 1/4 yrs old then.) I think that he decided that it was time to "be a big boy" once he realized that he was wearing diapers like his baby sister was. Unless you have to have her trained by a certain date in order for her to be in a preschool, don't worry about it. (We actually had a potty when he was 18 mths old that he used sporadically, but he didn't really get into it until he was closer to 3 yrs old.) I've heard that most kids figure it out by the time they're 3 1/2 or 4. Yes, it seems easier than diapers, but just wait until you're in a dressing room, half-dressed, with a sleeping baby in the stoller, and your elder child says, "Mommy, I have to go NOW!" (Or, be smarter than me and don't even attempt to try on clothes with two kids!) :) Good luck!
L.

Hi H.,
The only advice I can give is that I believe your daughter will be 'ready' when she begins to show some interest. I have an 8 yr old son and a 4 yr old daughter and I started them out on books and videos from the library about going to the potty. We're also a very open family and so wherever mommy and daddy are, so are the children...including the bathroom. I believe my children were able to mimic 'potty procedures' as well as found the resources interesting and then were open to training. I was fearful with my children that I would turn them off to training if I tried to push them, so I just tried introducing the potty a few times and if they reacted against it I would leave it alone for a week or so and then revisit it later.
I hope you find this helpful.

First, just relax : ) She may not be ready. I have had one train at 33 months and one at 37 months - and when they are ready and excited about it you'll be shocked at how easy it was : ) Keep the potty in the bathroom and let her "play" with it, sit on it etc...She will be potty trained, don't worry. And don't let anyone pressure you into getting it done right now! Once it is time, rewards for everything work - sitting on it, going pee and especially #2 : )

My daughter was 3.5 when we finally got her fully potty trained. But I went out an had her pick out her favor candy, M&M's and I put it in a clear jar in the bathroom. Every time she would sit on the potty I would give her 1 M&M and if she peed she got 3. She finally got the hang of it after about a month. Then if she poop on the potty she got 5. I was really against using this because I thought this was not a good way to get her interest. I also used a sticker chart. When she would pee on the potty she would also get 1 sticker and 2 for pooping. When the chart got full she got to get a prize from the dollar store.

http://familycrafts.about.com/library/projects/blpottycha...

Hope these ideas help.

Mine was daytime trained by two and night-time by 2.5. Unfortunately, there's really nothing you can do if she's not interested. She will do it when she's ready. First thing I can stress to you is that you MUST have a good support system, meaning when you're at work and she's in someone else's care, they MUST be willing to continue what you have started so not to put a wrench in your schedule, making you start all over again, every day! Consistency is key. (Unfortunately, I'm trying to figure out how to be consistent with discipline at an older age - but that's another topic I'll probably post for help!!)

Since she's not interested, don't make her sit there for long, but DO take her. EVERY 30-45 minutes. Set the timer on the stove if you have to. It's a hard routine to get into, especially when you're doing things around the house. Even if it's just to pull her pants down. She's at least learning that that's what she does at the potty. If she will sit for you for a couple minutes, read a short story. We kept a basket of "office supplies" (aka: reading material - daddy is in his "office" for a while!) for her right next to daddy's....lol. When she goes, make sure you make a HUGE deal about it. Clap, sing, make noise, etc. Give her a sticker to put right on her potty so she sees her rewards whenever she goes. If she doesn't go, it's okay. She may go as soon as she gets her clothes back on....and that's okay too. Just be consistent. The other thing that worked for us was letting her pick out whatever big girl panties she wanted. We let her wear those during the day with a pair of rubber/plastic pants (just to protect the furniture). The reason was so that she could feel that she was wet. Sometimes she peed a tiny bit and stopped it until she told me she had to go...sometimes she peed and then told me she went "potty"...not exactly the "potty", but at least she was recognizing the need to go - and that's what you're aiming for. One day, it was announced that she went potty but she was dry and she escorted us to her potty and sure enough....she did it all by herself - she had actually peed on the floor and in the potty...but she did it like a big girl!! ** We had ice cream and cereal for dinner that night! ** lol. (Whatever works, right?) It wasn't smooth sailing from then on....but she was getting the hang of it. Again...I can't stress enough the importance of having a child care provider willing to help you with his. It's a BIG job. There are many books and articles out there that guarantee to train your child in a weekend, a day, whatever...but we didn't even try those. Night-time is another story....we just got her up before we went to bed, put her on the potty (sometimes had to hold her up because she was still sleeping!). Usually she'd go, sometimes not, but eventually, she started waking up dry more often...that's when we said "no more pull ups at night" and did the panties at night (with no plastic/rubber over them - my own preference) and used a mattress protector/plastic sheet under the fitted sheet. Washing the bed sheet was much cheaper than pull ups!

Good luck! Sounds like you're off to a good start just by asking for help! She'll get it.

Don't force it. My son didn't potty train until he was 3.5, and going on 5 we still have issues at night. I started at 2 with him. He's bright, catches on quick to everything...well almost lol. We finally told him if he wanted to keep going to his school (he was suppose to be potty trained for the room he was in) he had to go on the potty like his friends. Then we stopped talking about it. Didn't say anything else about it. He had an accident, I ignored it. Didn't clean it up didn't do anything. Told him he knew where the clean clothes were and the washing machine was empty. I quit fighting, he started going all on his own. Don't make it a power struggle, you'll never win. One day they will catch on! She will show intrest.

I would strongly suggest the 3 day potty training guide that I downloaded from the web. Here is the link - http://www.3daypottytraining.com/
I did this program a year ago with my daughter. I had had a terrible time with my middle son and didn't want to go through that again. This program worked great. She was definitely trained in 3 days. The first 1 1/2 days we didn't have any luck, but we stuck with it and on the 3rd day I don't even think she had any accidents! We never went back to diapers or pull ups and she quit wearing pullups at night very shortly after.
You have to have 3 days where you will be able to totally devote your time to her and the potty. Don't plan on being able to do anything else. You basically have to be beside her the entire time. Good luck!

H. - one thing I wanted to mention. My daughter didn't show any interest prior to this either. We had been putting her on the potty for a few months and daycare had been putting her on for at least 6 & she had never actually gone on the potty! I feel that if you go back & forth with putting them on the potty, but then letting them wear diapers or pull ups that they just figure it doesn't matter where they go. I think that was my big mistake with my middle son. My oldest son was trained in 1 week at the age of 2 & NEVER had an accident day or night after that. But, I was with him & put him in underwear and never gave him another choice. My middle child went back & forth & wasn't completely trained until he was over 4!!! So, I think most kids can easily be trained at 2 or 2 1/2 if you are willing to put in the effort and show them that they can do it. They are so happy when they have accomplished it!

Hi, H.!
My suggestion to you is to get a potty that you can place on the floor. Let her come in with you everytime you go to the bathroom. Have her sit down on "her potty". As time goes, she will start to mimimick what you do. And my other suggestion is to let her pick out her own underwear. My daughter did this and in a few months was completely trained.
Good luck!

Don't worry. My daughter was almost three until she was potty trained. I started around age 2 I think but she wasn't ready and didn't show much interest either. We bought a little book about the potty and then we started talking about how being potty trained would benefit her. She wanted to go to preschool so we started talking to her about how much fun preschool would be, we took her on a tour of the school she was going to and kept gently reminding her how she had to be potty trained before she could go to school (and we told her it was the school's rule, not ours so she knew there were rules outside the house too). Once she decided she was ready it went smoothly. (And she was trained well in advance of school.) We had a little potty for her at first but then we realized that she wanted to use the big potty so we bought one of the seat inserts. She never used the little potty. So figure out which she might prefer. Hope this helps.

To show you how different evert child is, my oldest potty trained at 1 1/2 in a week. She was completely out of diapers. We never used pull-ups and to this day have never had an accident. She's 9 now. On the other hand you have my 6 yr old. She was almost 3 when she potty trained. Itried to force the issue and it just made her want nothing at all to with it. She'd pee in her underwear before she'd get on the potty. So, I let it go and one day she decided it was time and went into the bathroom took off her diaper and went. we went straight to underwear. Have you tried taking her in the bathroom when you go and explain what you are doing? That may help, especially if she shows that she wants to be a "big" girl. I'm sorry if this didn't help at least a little bit. You could also try the reward method. If she gets so many stickers in a week she gets a suprise. I don't mean take her to the store and buy her something, but like a snack she really likes or something like that.

My daughter at that age loved stickers. So I took her to the store and let her pick out some of her favorite. I also got a piece of poster board (let her pick the color) made a chart of Mon-Sun. and every time she went, or made a real good atempt, she put a sticker on her board. She loved showing Daddy that nightly! It also was something she could look at. I also bought a training potty for her, I think she was afraid she would fall through the other! Hope this helps

Looks to me that neither one of you have confidence in this area which is perfectly fine...and normal. Afterall this is your first child. I have twin boys age 4 now and I started potty training them 2 mths before their second birthday. I got tired of having to purchase the pull-ups.

Generally I think girls are more clean than boys. They don't like the idea of having wet or solids on their person. I would suck it up, and buy some panties, and plastic overlays...and let her wear those around the house when your home. Maybe you should not take her to the bathroom,but find a rewarding system that will peak her interest in her wanting to go on her own. Like the star reward. Get a poster board or something that you will have her name and stars to show her success in potty training.

I, myself, used suckers. Everytime they would potty they were rewarded. Well not everytime but mostly. I ended up having leftover suckers because it didn't take them long to get trained. Although accidents every now and then.

But my suggestion is to have her wear "big girl" panties. Hope this helps. I also think that your husband should be involved in the process in some fashion...coz if its just you then she may not go when your not around. JMO (just my opinion)

Don't force her, she'll let you know when she's ready. Let her join you when you go to the restroom. Talk to her while you're in there, tell her what you're doing, tell her when she's a big girl she'll get to use the potty too. Ask her if she wants to try, if she says no then just leave it until next time. Be persistent but gentle.

Good luck.

Hi, H.!

Well, you'll likely get a variety of responses on this, but all I can tell you is from my own experience, so here goes...

First of all, while I really appreciated the super absorbency and convenience of diapers and training pants, I think these devices are 100% to blame for the length of time that kids are wearing diapers these days. Back in the day when we were all wearing icky cloth diapers, there was an impetus to get out of those awful things and potty on our own so we didn't have to "wear" our uncomfortable excrement around.

These days, kids can feel so comfortable in their diapers that there's no real rush to get rid of them.

We started potty training our daughter at around 18 months old. She was receptive to the little potty we used, and she had a whole collection of books in the bathroom so that she could sit, read, and enjoy the experience. The older she got, and the more communicative she became, the more insistent we became that she start using the potty and not soiling her diapers. However, the more pressure we put on the act, the more resistance we started to get.

We had a travel potty in the car, which was a wonderful device that used ziplock gallon bags and folded up into a briefcase when collapsed. She loved using that, and I'd give her a little Hershey's kissable if she went pee pee and a malted milk ball for a poo poo. Also, in summertime, she could sit on her travel potty and blow bubbles. So, there were plenty of rewards and incentives to make the process fun.

Nevertheless, the older she got, the more concerned and frustrated I became that she wasn't initiating the potty trips. The more I tried to exert control over it, the worse things got 'til she was actually using twice as many diapers as she had been.

She's always been an incredibly independent child, and I think it really aggravated her that I would try to control this aspect. We'd remind her every hour or so, and try to make the rule that she'd need to go potty before leaving the house, etc.

Anyway, finally, while on a trip visiting my family, she declared, "When I get home, DADDY is potty training me!" We returned home, she made the mental decision that "Daddy" was going to train her (which really just meant she was going to do what she'd already been taught), and she was potty-trained in 3 days. She was a little over 2.5. I'd told her that she couldn't start school if she weren't potty-trained, and she got it done, just in time.

I've said this to other moms frustrated with this process: for whatever reason, for many kids, if not all, this is something that THEY have to decide they want to do and THEY have to do it. You can give them all the tools and tricks and skills, you can give them lots of rewards and encouragement, but, at some point, there has to come some impetus that makes them decide that THEY want to do it. Each kid gets to that point their own way.

My daughter's good school friend JUST potty-trained this week, and she's over 3. I know it's frustrating and difficult.

Basically, you and your husband need to keep your cool. You need to be a team -- don't opt him out of being part of the process because he has a lack of confidence. He needs to develop the same confidence as you have. That's part of his job! You need to both be familiar with what you consider the "bathroom routine" and maybe determine some new rewards for your daughter that can gracefully encourage her back to the potty. Maybe try reading a new book to her there or singing a song or granting her extra play time or a movie or tv time -- something new. But, whatever you do, you need to be unified. And it needs to come to the point that you're not forcing your daughter to sit on the pot but that she's willingly going there because she knows it will be a pleasant place to be. I'd say that's step 1.

Another tactic we tried with our daughter was that she would get to use a certain number of diapers or training pants per day, and if she went over that amount, she'd have to wear underwear with plastic pants over it. Of course, that's miserable, and she didn't like it, so there was an incentive to use the pot and not mess up the panties.

I hope some of these suggestions help you! Don't lose heart -- you'll get there!!

:)
H.

I know how you feel. My daughter was the same way! If she is fighting you, she probably isn't ready yet. Don't force her, it will just take twice as long. Trust me, we learned the hard way. Just talk to her about it, read her books about potty training. Really encourage her to be a big girl and give her lots of praise when she finally does go on the potty. Praise is a wonderful thing to a two year old! And maybe talk to her about the new baby and let her know that she is going to have to be the "big sister" and "big sisters" go potty in the bathroom. Let her know that the new baby will be wearing diapers and big girls don't wear diapers, they were big girl panties. That really worked well for my daughter. Keep the faith and have patience! It will happen! Hope this helps!

My husband and I both work fulltime jobs and we had our oldest son potty trained at 2.5 and my 20 month old is starting to potty train. Just let your babysitter (in my case it was my mom and grandma) know what's going on.
Here is how we did it and are doing again.
Elmo Potty Time really got my boys interested in using the potty. After they had watched it a few times they understood. I would take my son everymorning when he gets out of bed to use the potty and everytime we were changing his diaper I would ask him if he wanted to go sit on the potty...usually he did. We bouught a potty chair and neither one of my boys like it so they just sit on the reagular toilet seat with their legs spreadapart to keep them from falling.
When they went pee they got one sticker on their potty chart and 1 treat from the treat basket that consisted of candy and small toys. Poop, 2 of each. After the potty chart was filled (my oldest is done iwth his but my younger one is still working on his) with about 40-50 stickers we let him take it to the store and "buy" something with it. After a few weeks he was telling us when he had to go. ALso we would put him in his big boy underwear on the weekend when one of us was off and he told us sooner cause he didn't like his undies being wet.
I stressed and thought it was gonna be horrible but it really wasn't as bad as I thought! Good luck!

H. hi My name is M.. I have an 8 and an 11 year old. Potty training was different for both of them. The best thing to do is put her on a schedual. Take her to the bathroom every couple of hours. When she wakes up in the morning before she goes to bed and always before or after eating. When you she is on the potty give her a book to read or a toy to play with that way she is entertained while on the potty. If she is interested in the toy or book she is less likley to resist the potty.

H. - it appears that you have gotten a ton of responses..that is great but not sure if anything has worked so I thought i would give my two cents are I am going through it right now with my 2.5 yr old son. We finally came to the conclusion that we needed to motivate him. He didn't like candy, stickers, money - nothing like that motivated him. So we were finally able to get him to just "sit" on his potty when we put it in the living room and let him watch a little tv. Then when he asked to watch something, we said 'go potty" and you can watch......this has really worked because this is what he wants. So maybe if you find something that she is really into or a toy she wants, this will motivate her to get interested. Now when he has a really good day on the potty, no accidents he gets a little toy to reinforce the good job. Hope this gives you some ideas. Good luck!

I know everyone says don't push them, they will do it when they are ready. I heard the same thing and I got so frusterated thinking that I just wanted to get out of the diapers (I have twins so it was twice the amount). Anyways, I started when they were not ready and we ran into accidents after accidents. We all got frusterated and took a break. About a month or so later, it all fell into place. They started showing interest so we started all over again. Since then, they have had very few accidents and are fully potty trained (except at night-that is another adventure all of its own). Good Luck!

My daughter just turned 3 the end of December and was not potty trained. My mother in law really kept pushing it but she had no interest. She did for a little bit and then stopped. Her Pediatrician asked me if she was potty trained and I told her no but we were starting to work on it. She told me not to push it. She said she will go when she is ready but don't push it. No one ever went to kindergarten in diapers. All of a sudden she decided she wanted to go in the potty and we have only had two accidents in the last 3 weeks. My son was only 11 1/2 months old when she was born so I had 2 in diapers for a while. I found diapers to be much more convenient when traveling or shopping. I'd say don't push. They will get it and you will have plenty of time. Potty time with Bear in the Big Blue House was a hit with my kids. It is a DVD. Your husband can be really proud of her when she goes. Mine had to help by accident cuz I was gone one time. He didn't realize that she could fall in the pot and put her on the big one. It didn't traumatize her, he also didn't realize that when she sat down with her legs out to hold herself on that she would squirt forward and not down. LOL! Your husband can learn as he goes. Trial and error. The biggest thing is patience. Good luck.

My daughter is now 2. I bought her a little potty a 18 months. She liked to sit on it while dressed at first, then completely lost interest. I didn't push the issue but decided to let her go at her own pace. We rented Elmo's potty time from the lib. (which she loves. Cute little songs, ect.) and a few books about the potty. She now is at sort of an inbetween phase. There are days where she will use the potty all day and others where she wants nothing to do with it. As much as I would lover her to finllay get it, I think pushing it will only delay the process. My doctor tells me that 3 is more of a realistic age. - Good luck :)

I have a 2.5 year old daughter myself and I found that giving her a treat everytime she goes to the potty works well for us. Whether it be a couple gummy bears or just something I know she likes and if she does well for a week I try to treat her with something nice like a toy or pizza or something at the end of the week.

Hi H.!
My daughter is almost 2 and we have had the "cushy tushy" on our big potty for several months and our little girl likes to go potty. I think she shows interest b/c she has watched me go potty. We blow bubbles when she does go, that may help you. I have moved the diapers and wipes into the bathroom so that when I change her I can sit her down to pee before putting on a clean diaper. I think kids like routine and you have to be ready and prepared to get into one once she starts showing more interest. It's always seemed to me that potty training will be much easier in warmer weather so maybe wait until spring so she can run around in a dress with no diaper and get use to the feeling of wearing underwear. Good luck!

I'm sorry I am late with this response - I just wanted to say

How do you get her interested in ANYthing else?

same thing can work for this -

and make your needs known to whoever is watching your daughter (babysitter or hubby) they should be concerned with doing what YOU want them to do - especially Daddy - he should want her to be on the socially accurate timetable for potty training.

Sorry I didn't take time to read any other responses - as you can see I am way behind in reading my email - seeing your post not til now.

Hey H.,

When I was potty training my son,I was havin troubles at first myself. I decided to go buy him a musical toilet seat that you put on top of the bathroom toilet seat, and that seemed to work really well. He seemed to really like it. It starts playing the music when they sit on the seat. Try this and I hope you get some good results!!!!

she will let you know when she is ready. age doesn't neccessarily have a thing to do with it. if you fight with her, it will just turn her more against it, and drag out the learning and willingness process. i have 5 kids, and did the same as you with my first one. it was miserable. with all the rest i waited until they actually wanted to and they all broke pretty much within 2-3 weeks. what a difference! and they were all trained by the time they were 3-3 1/2. with the earliest ones trained by 2 1/2. but like i said just because yours is 2 1/2 doesn't mean she is completely ready. and if you force it you might be asking for more problems when your new little one gets here.

good luck, and take care. try to be patient.
C.

I saw the coolest show on Dr. Phil a few yrs back. It made me want to potty train all over again. Here is the link for the basic instructions. http://drphil.com/articles/article/264/ you can also check out some of his links to get ideas. You have to set aside a whole day but it might be fun to try! Good luck!

Don't push it. When she's ready she'll show more interest. Just keep asking her, maybe first thing in the morning, or right before bed/after nap. When she's ready to hop in the tub is a good time also since she's already naked. Just don't force her to sit on the potty or it might take even longer.

My daughter was almost three when she wanted to start on a regular basis and she was totally done by her third birthday. Peeing was easy, but be prepared to be strong about the pooping. She practically begged us to put a diaper on her so she could poop, and I thought she would never poop again, but after the first time on the potty it was just fine.

I agree that she will not go until she is ready and you should not push it. I always let my kids go with me and they were interested very early. My son was potty trained by the time he was 2, but he was interested (really interested) early. Don't stress about it and when she is ready, it should only take a couple of days to really get it going.

I used a book called "Toilet Training in Less than a Day." It is an intense training system that takes a lot of work over a short period of time. You would have to make sure that you had at least one full day that you could devote completely to the process. Then, you would also have to make sure that the other people who care for your daughter are on board and know the system. It took my daughter 5 days to get it completely. The first two or three days were really hard, but she had less and less accidents everyday. By the fifth day, she stopped having accidents completely. It was amazing! This system focuses on rewarding them for having dry pants, rather than for going potty. This helps them to feel that they are still doing a good thing even when they don't have to go potty. Because really, the reason that we have them learn to go potty is to have dry pants. Let me know if you want more information on it! Just be consistent with whatever you decide to do! Good luck!

if she has any young friends that go on the potty, and if everybody feels comfortable with it, have her see them going. don't force her to imitate, just mention that "suzy goes on the potty because she's big girl----oooh look at the pretty panties she gets to wear!" even if you don't do any more potty training work until she is "ready", having seen other kids doing it will make her more receptive.

I was lucky enough that the day care my son goes to potty trained him within a couple months (pee, not poo - poo may take you past 3 years of age).

Here's what they said they did. Every hour, they sat him down on the potty. Sometimes he went in the potty, sometimes he didn't. But, they did it consistently and after about two months he was only peeing on the potty. That's when they told me to bring to him to daycare in regular underwear. We continued to put diapers on him at night, but he would usually wake up dry and then go potty first thing. I think that process taught him how to recognize the sensation as well as how to hold it until he was on the potty.

My son was not special as all the other kids in his daycare responded to the potty training the same way. So, there must be something to it.

Hi H., We had a potty with a lid that we could move around. We let the girls sit on it to watch TV or while I was in the restroom. This allowed them to get used to it before they actually started going on it. Then I bought a ton of kid-style stickers. I took a large piece of construction paper and decorated it with their name and taped it to the refrigerator. I told them they would get to pick out a sticker or two to place on their "progress chart" every time they went on the potty. You will need a couple of days when all you have time for is her, because mine were going every 2 minutes once they got started. When they do go on the potty you have to celebrate and be very excited. We jumped and shouted and I called people to announce their accomplishment! Tell her what a big girl she is and how proud she should be of herself and how proud you are. She will get excited too and want to please you. Don't ever yell for any reason. This could scare her and cause major delays. Every child is different, so be patient...it will happen. Be consistent. Once you start, don't stop. Don't allow her to go in her diaper because it's convenient for you. If you're on the road stop somewhere. Have her go before you leave the house to avoid using public bathrooms as much as possible. You might try putting big girl panties on her so if she wets herself, it will run down her legs and make her very uncomfortable. It might make her want to try harder and hopefully she wouldn't wet herself more than a couple of times. Best of luck and God Bless! N. L.

try sitting her on the big people toilet. AT that age my daughter was big enough to get up on it and much preferred that over the potty chair, plus you don't have to empty or clean up the toilet.

L.

I am a grandmother now but am a carer to my youngest granddaughter who has a single mum. Although 10 now she was reluctant to be potty trained and wouldn't have anything to do with it, I left it until she was nearly three, took her out of nappies and into panties and she was trained within days. Being a little older, she understand, loved her panties and just took to it. Not sure if it will work for you but might be worth a try.

Don't rush her. Forget about it for now and let her know (with explicit words) its no big deal. When you feel you are ready we can practice. Eventually you will use the potty like a grown up. Potty training is about control of our bodies. If you push the resistance gets worse. It is not only a matter of not training but also constipation issues etc.

I am a mother of 4(25,15,13,10). I have both girls and boys. Boys are definitely harder than girls. It took me until the 4th kid to realize to never force a child to train when they are not ready. It just frustrates mom and child and equals a bad experience that could have psychological consequences on the child. There is no rule that your child has to be potty trained by a specific age nor does it have anything to do with intelligence. PLease do not let anyone talk you into believing anything else. Especially if you are pregnant. That is enough stress for both you and your daughter already. I'm sure you want her to handle a new sibling well. Just have a good relationship with your daughter and she will let you know when she is ready. Relax and enjoy, the time goes by very quickly and then they're almost grown up.

My 7 year old daughter was the exact same way. She showed no interest and resisted my persuasion. So I just quit trying and she became interested soon after and quickly learned to use the toilet. With my son (4.5 years) I tried the same approach (waiting until he showed interest) and he was potty trained by 2.5 with almost no effort on my part. I have learned that they are all individuals and will do it on their own time. The more pressure placed on them the more resistant they will be. I was also expecting while trying to potty train the oldest and found that potty training with a new addition was difficult. That is a big change for the oldest sbling. So don't be surprised if you have set backs. And remember that they will eventually get it on their time and not ours. I remember thinking she will be at the altar getting married in a diaper, but she got it:) Good Luck!

Hi!
My name is J.. I have 3 children, two of which are successfully potty trained, but the process was entirely different for both of them.
My oldest is a boy. When he was ready, he was ready. I let him watch his dad a few times, and he wanted to be like dad, so that part was easy. When I thought he was fully potty trained (no more accidents) for about two months, he started wetting his bed again every night for about four months straight. This was a pain, but, it was like one day he decided not to wet his bed anymore and he quit!
My daughter was a different story. She was three when she was potty trained, but it was quick and easy. I talked to her about it a LOT. I had the little potty seat in the bathroom ( never used a potty chair - just the seat w/ handles that goes right on the toilet, and a little stool so she could step up). I made a big deal about shopping with her for "big girl panties" and picked a week when there wasn't a lot going on. I got her those training panties that are really thick, and put them on her. I had a chart on the wall in the bathroom she could put a sticker on for pottying, flushing, wiping, and washing hands and had her put a sticker for each one EVERY TIME for that week. There were a few accidents in the beginning, but she HATED the wet pants feeling. I was positive about the whole process and complimented her for trying to make it to th epotty on time even if she didn't make it. Somehow, she had it down in a couple of days ( with pull-ups at night). When her pull-ups started staying dry at night, I swithched to panties at night. Since then, she has only wet her bed once or twice because she is mortified when she does it. She is 4 now.
I don't have any specific advice about the process, except, to wait until they are interested and ready. Pushing them only slows them down in my opinion. It has to be an exciting next step in becaoming a "big" kid, and it has to be a positive experience. :) With that said, I'm glad I only have to train one more! Good Luck!

I went through this with my middle boy. I spoke with his pediatrician about this and he told me not to worry too much and that when he is ready he will start to go on his own. It was a rocky road because he was almost 3. He did just start going on his own though. Also, the child has to learn the signals of having to go potty and not like the idea of having a wet or soiled diaper. You can try to get her to go by giving her rewards for at least sitting on the potty. I know the feeling with the husband not feeling to confident about the potty training area. My husband was the same way so I ended up having to potty train our kids. Put her on the potty, if she starts screaming or crying take her off of it and try again say in a few days. It is very nerve wracking sometimes when it comes to potty training. One day though she may just start going on her own. Good luck!
D.

I am a 31 yr. old married mom of almost 12 yrs. and have 3 beautiful boys ages 10,7 and 4.

Do not force the issue. When she is ready she will go. the more you force her, it will become a power struggle, and she will refuse even longer. let her do it when she is ready.

H., I have a 2.5 son and he's not really interested either. The best advice that I've received to date, and I'm standing on, is (i) don't get freaked out by other kids and parents,(ii) maintain a 'potty' friendly relationship - which for me translate to him identifying when he, mommy or daddy uses the potty. We often invite him to do the same, and he sits down, and (iii) don't laugh - Elmo's Potty Time video was great! We often watch it, and sing some of the songs about the potty. He now knows the 'lingo' pee-pee and poo-poo and at least he unsderstands the concept. Now we have to wait for him to be ready. I guess that's really the key. Recognizing when he's ready to transition. Stop judging yourself by what you see in other children and parents!!! - It really reduces your stress levels!

Good luck - N.

Two and a half is still a little early especially when they are the first born. I have three boys and although boys take longer to begin with the more kids u have for them to follow and want to be like the easier it gets. I was always told though not to force the issue because that can back fire on you in the long run. When my sone was 3 to 3 1/2 I wanted him desperatly to be potty trained because I was pregnant with my second child. He showed no interest whatsoever but we would give him rewards for just sitting on it at first and then it slowly progressed.
She may not be ready as she still is young but others I know have giving their kids incentives like you can have "X" when you go on the potty.
Good luck.

I had a very strong willed, bright daughter (she's now 10) who resisted everytime I tried to train her. Finally, I gave up, took off the pressure, but left the potty in the bathroom. One morning (she was more than 2.5, but not 3) she woke up, told me she was ready to go in the potty and she had NO accidents after that (including at night and during nap). I think that when we try to train too early kids are not ready. Most of my friends who "trained" before their child was ready had months and months of accidents

I'd wait until she's 3. Sometimes they just have a fear of the toliet. My daughter was actually almost 4 when she potty trained....the good thing is...no high school grad ever graduated without being potty trained! LOL

Good luck!

Girls I have heard are suppose to be easier.

I had 2 boys and am getting ready to introduce a 2 year old boy, that I babysit, to the wonders of potty training.

He seems very ready. He will tell me by bringing a diaper that he is wet. I take him to the bathroom when I go and try to get him to pay attention to the fact I am making water sounds.

Try letting her run around in just a t shirt and training pants or pull ups. It makes going easier and put the potty chair where it's easiest for her to get to. This may sound gross but since we have 3 levels and do not have a bath on the main floor I kept ours in the kitchen.

Get a chart and put everyone in the households name on it. When they go pee put a star by or under their name. When they poo do a sticker. Also give a sucker or some form of reward. Within a few weeks she will get angry that she has no stars or stickers nor is receiving any reward. She should be aware enough to ask what she needs to do to have them next to her name.

My first was not trained until he was over 3 and it took embarassment from his cousin to do it. My youngest was trained in one week. Of course all the neighborhood kids hung at our house allot and they were in on the stars and stickers, so that helped to have so many plus his best buddy "Fad" (Chad) would take him and let him watch him pee.

Good luck be patient. Also ho ever watches her needs to be agressive to the potty issue. You might try taking her shopping for "big" girl underwear and let her pick out some really cute ones. Telling her she MUST use the potty and stay dry to get to wear them.

We tried the dolly that pees- didn't help. We tried the story book- didn't help but the stars and stickers have trained many of my friends children as well as my youngest.

Just having the potty out is a great start! When she's ready, she'll warm up to it. My son wasn't ready until he was three. So give yourself a pat on the shoulder for trying, and don't rush her.

I was in this very same situation---my firstborn daughter was 2 1/2 and I was pregnant when by coincidence I spoke to someone who operates a daycare. She gave me the advice to take my daughter to choose "big girl" underwear (I'd say at least 10 pair---there will be laundry), toss the diapers/pull-ups, and then to take a week off of work. Then, with the exception of naps and nights, only use the underwear. She said by midweek my daughter would have the hang of it, because the children don't like being wet and the pull-up style diapers still keep the wet away from their skin.

Honestly, the first three days were the longest days of my life with the accidents (and we had two bathrooms with two additional "potty" seats in other parts of the house). But by the fourth day, she had no more accidents. And by the end of the week we could count on her to be fine for things like a trip to the store, library, etc. A couple of weeks later she was consistently dry after nap time. She is such a heavy sleeper that we continued to use the pull-ups at night for a couple of months until we saw that she was dry consistently in the morning.

I have two children and they potty-trained very differently. There are no set rules for what will work. My son wanted nothing to do with the potty. He didn't potty-train until he was 3.5. I felt like a failure! We tried all sorts of things. Finally I hauled out the big guns. He loves going for a ride with my dad. I told him that until he decided to be a big boy he would not be allowed to go on any more rides with his Papa. I kid you not, the very next day he decided he wanted to go in the potty, insisted on wearing underwear to bed... That was nearly 6 months ago and I can count on one hand the times he's had an accident since then. The important thing is follow-through. Do not threaten something you can't follow-through on. That will only bring you more trouble down the road.

My daughter is 3.5 and is just now peeing in the potty during the day. She still uses a diaper to poop and to sleep in. Just be patient and try not to pressure her. She will use the potty when she is ready...and probably with fewer accidents. Pressuring her will only cause problems later. I was feeling the same way you are, wondering when my daughter would ever potty train.

Also with a new one on the way, now is not the time to change things. My kids are 21 months apart--when my daughter waited so long to train, I just figured I'd potty train both of them at the same time. LOL

Good luck!

Well, I had my first and only daughter at age 40 and I had no idea how to do anything. I never even changed a diaper! But everything worked out fine. I don't have any great idea. I though potty training would be difficult, but my daughter actually learned on her own. All I did was put the potty chair in the bathroom. When I went to the bathroom, she would go with me, sit on her potty and she learned quickly. She wore regular underwear before she was 2 and never had an accident. I was very fortunate. Good luck!

Don't stress it too much. She'll go eventually. Both of my girls just decided to go a few days before their 3rd b-days. I am a firm believer of never doing the pull-up thing. Once she goes in the potty just put on her regular underwear and tell her this is it you're a big girl now. We happened to have a big family party going the day my 2nd daughter decided to go, so I made her think the party was for her being a big girl. Good Luck! Don't worry!

I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter that just got potty trained a couple of months ago, it was a struggle which I didn't anticipate, I thought she would be EASY since she seemed so advanced like dressing herself at 1 1/2. She had no problem going pee pee in the potty but the poo pooing thing didn't seem to interest her in going. Her father, my mother and I tried to work with her but she was headstrong about not going, she would rather go in her pull up and panties. I finally went and borrowed some POTTY books from the library and about a week later she just went to the potty by herself and finally poo pooed in the potty. Try the books and see if they work for you.

I understand exactly what u are going through. I had the same problem with my daughter she is 5 yrs old now. I actaully bought a dvd for potty training. Then I put the potty out in the living room and thats how she learned. I know it might sound gross but it does work. As I sayed before my daughter is 5 and has not wet the bed once since she learned(knock on wood). We played the movie over and over again to the point were I knew the song by heart.
GOOD LUCK!!!!

Some children are not ready to be potty trained at age two.This is actually pretty early. As I remember my daughter was 3 and a half. We let her go at her own pace and had no problem. I would put the potty away for now.

Hi, my name is K.. I've had a daycare in my home now for
15yrs and I have 2 boys also. I have potty trained alot of
children in my time.

First of all I would like to say is Dad should be involved,
it is not difficult, but is time consuming!

I have tried everything in the past. What I have found works
the best & the fastest way to train is put a sticker chart
on the wall in the bathroom. Leave a variety of stickers for
her to choose from in there also. If she goes to the potty
(or even if she doesn't actually go, but atleast tries) she
can pick out a sticker for her potty chart. Usually getting
them to poopie in the potty is more difficult. You can offer
a piece of candy, if you want, if she poops in the potty.

I have also found that a seperate potty chair never worked
for any of the kids I have potty trained. They want to potty on the big potty. Buying one of those fitted seats with handles for the toilet are so great!!

Usually, girls can be potty trained around the age of 1.
Boys around 2to 2.5. If you wait any later than that they
become very lazy about potty training and then it does become
somewhat harder.

If you are still using diapers, STOP USING ALTOGETHER!!!
They get too confused. It is best to not use any more at all.
Instead, use pullups or what I prefer and I think works the best is the thick training underwear or regular big boy or girl underwear and rubber pants over(to hold the accidents). That way she feels it on her and in diapers & pullups she doesn't as much. If you decide to use underwear and rubberpants, use pullups only for naps & bedtimes. After you clean her a few times (after a accident easiest way-just puther straight in the tub strip of all clothes and get a bath. Do not scold her ever!! Very important!! Just talk through the accident and how yucky it is being on you, so forth and always remind her where we need to go. When you have cleaned her up a few times, then it becomes her job (you will have to assist some), but do as little as possible. They don't like when it becomes their job, but it will break them faster if they have to clean up the mess. If you are always doing it for them, they will just let you.

Also, setting a timer works great (especially when first
starting out). I set a timer for every 20 min. and let them
know when it goes off, now matter what she has to go at least
try to potty. Taking a doll or stuffed animal with you (pretend favorite doll is going potty) works very well also.
Anyways, PRAISE! PRAISE! PRAISE! Everytime she attempts to
go or not (even if it is a fight). At first this will
seem like a nightmare, but will soon be over.

And you say you are pregnant, if it is a boy, I hate to be the one to tell you, but they are even harder to train!

Best of luck with this.

Hi H.,

You've gotten a ton of great responses... I just wanted to address the hubby issue. I get the feeling maybe your husband is with her while you are at work? That is what my husband I did for 9 years, and the tag-teaming worked great. It is really the only way to get a dad to be 'hands-on' is to be OUT of the house. Please make sure it's a team effort... don't underestimate him, he will do just fine if you let him know what the program is. I used some books from the library (for grown ups) that echoed a lot of what everyone here has said re: don't push, make it fun, etc. If you have a book your husband can look at along with you it will help him feel included too. Good luck! It is not the most fun parenting stage, but it will be over before you know it, and you'll be going into more public bathrooms way than you ever wanted to!

I would wait a bit until she is ready, really why make it hard on yourself. Some children need more time

Signs she is ready

can she verbalize her potty needs?

Does she ask to be changed?

is she interested in the potty when you are going?

is she hiding when she has a BM?

get a few videos " once upon a potty" & "Elmo potty" from the library and allow her to sit on the potty with her clothes on, play with it and put her doll's on it. Then when she is ready... go for it.

Have you ever heard the phrase...you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink? It's the same with potty-training. You can't force the issue. I raised my kids in the time where everyone was trained at 2. It was a horrible process. Now I babysit & I won't even try until 2 1/2. If it doesn't go well, we wait a couple more months...& so on. Some are not ready until they're 3. You can take her with you when you go potty & talk about it while you're in there. Encourage her to sit on the "big girl" potty. Big girls use a potty. Try to be positive about it. If you are stressed, she will be too. When kids are ready to be trained, it only takes days & there will be a day or 2 where she will be wet constantly. Be patient. She's teaching her body to do something totally new. Some people give an m&m every time they pee. Some teach boys to "shoot" a Cheerio. Whatever works best for both of you. Good Luck!