Ok, I know people have sensitive scalps, but this is ridiculous! My 9year old boy hates washing his hair or getting it cut or combed. He is otherwise a tough kid, and bumps, scraps and bruises don't deter him much, but don't mess with his hair or he starts screaming like a banshee! I can't comb his hair without being afraid of hurting him. Is there such thing as sensitive scalp syndrome or the likes? He tears up if I have to pull up on his hair to trim it, or if I have to scrub his hair with shampoo. I try to be as gentle as possible, but it still hurts him. Please let me know if anyone has gone through this or can shed some light on the situation. Thanks!
To clarify, of course he washes his own hair, he is 9, but because of his scalp sensitivity, he will not do more than rub the soap around a little, hence I have to get it here and wash sometimes too, and when I do he cries. I don't scrub, as in roughly, but if you know little boys you know they get dirty! He sweats a lot on his head and its gross, so yes I have to do a scrub and get in there the way most people do. His hair is short, not long at all. No tangles. I am talking about if I even run a stinkin comb though it, he winces. Yes I could buzz cut him, and have. But what I want to know is if this is a medical 'thing' that others have and is it normal. Or is he just sensitive. He is not a cry baby at all, and is actually a clean freak. He has no other sensory issues that I've noticed. If you have experienced this what did you do?
It sounds like he just doesn't want to wash his hair and this seems to get you to back off.
Just offer him a buzz cut, no way that short of hair can knot up or pull.
Yep.
Some people have EXTREMELY sensitive scalps.
One of my oldest friends has a scalp that sensitive. Her doctor have her a shampoo with topical anesthetic in it (similar to chloraseptic). She still, even though its a lot better in her 30's... Only washes her hair once or twice a week.
She says it feels EXACTLY the same to get her legs waxed or a brazil lion wax... As it does to brush her hair, wash it, etc.
Ouch!
A lot of kids have very sensitive scalps, but the scalps toughen up over time. So by age 5-10 its no biggie. Hers did too, its nowhere near as bad as when we were kids... So I can't even imagine how bad it was for her, then, since its like WAXING, now.
Her brother had a sensitive scalp as a kid, so he got a buzz cut or high n tight.
It's possible that the shampoo you're using on him has something in it that his scalp is sensitive to, and he needs something else. For instance, I can't use shampoos that have menthol or eucalyptus in them, and I can't use anything heavy with citrus or certain kinds of nut oils and fragrances. It can be very challenging finding products that are safe for me.
I would keep his hair short enough that it doesn't need much in the way of brushing, nor much in the way of washing either. Find a shampoo for sensitive skin, ideally something hypoallergenic and lightweight, and so that his hair can dry quickly without a hair dryer.
EDIT: If he's using childrens shampoo still, I would reconsider and find him something else. That was becoming bad for my middle daughter... it actually gave her cradle cap and burned her scalp from an early age. Nothing with dyes in it... no reds, blues, greens, yellows, nothing.
I also agree with the advice on letting HIM wash and brush his own hair since he knows how hard/light to do it.
EDIT: Also, never use finger nails to "scrub" hair. It damages the hair at the scalp and it scratches the skin. You/he should be using the pads of the fingers to gently rub the scalp.
I have to be careful with my husbands and sons scalps.
I trim their hair and they are both very sensitive.
(I can only do buzz cuts - we live in an area with lots of military so buzz cuts are the norm.).
I grew up with a sister and we pulled each others hair out all the time.
My scalp is desensitized to this day.
Shorter hair is easier and less to pull and clean and dry.
Keep with the short cuts whether you do it yourself or he goes to a salon or barber.
If it's short enough he'll only need a comb.
If it's long enough to tangle, keep it conditioned so tangles don't happen.
If it needs a brush, get him a boars hair brush.
If you have already taken him to the doctor and the doctor has said to you AND him that there is nothing going on (not some sickness or infection or something) then you tell him to suck it up.
He's 9. He has to wash his hair. Maybe buzz him down, then you don't have to brush!
L.
My son was the same way. We're African American and I used to keep his hair short which required, brushing his hair/scalp, and cutting with clippers every other week. It literally required another adult to restrain him for hair cuts, and/or, me straddling him on the ground. It was not worth it. I don't get it at all, but just before he turned 3 I gave up and started letting him grow dreadlocks.
He's still pretty sensititive, but it isn't daily anymore (I just have to twist his locks once every month of 6 weeks). I wash it every week or so and he still says it hurts (he's almost 7), but he kind of just holds his breath and gets through it.
I don't know if it's an actual syndrome, but it's certainly a thing. He has some other hyper sensitivities though (tags on clothing, seams on socks) so I just chalk it up to a quirk and feel lucky that he looks adorable with dreadlocks.
My mom has such a sensitive scalp that she does sometimes cry at the hairdresser. Maybe a buzz cut for your son is the way to go.
My sister was like that, but she was much younger. I don't know what to say about your son, but you can't let him walk around with a mess - go ahead and buzz cut it until he gets old enough for his head not to bother him.
Good luck!
Dawn
No other sensory issues?
I'd try a buzz cut--sooooo easy for a boy to maintain!
My scalp is just as sensitive and so was my moms. Detangler was a given. When you do comb his hair, start from the bottom to the top so you get the tangles out easier.
Maybe desensitizing would help. Just a scalp massage ever so often.
Most of all let him wash his own hair. You may want to supervise so that he knows how to mix the water and shampoo to get a good lather.
I still make faces when my hairdresser pulls too hard!
My little guy had a tough time with hair washes for a long time. We gave up on the cute baby curls and when he was nearly five, finally took him to get a buzz cut.
It was the BEST decision I ever made. Wish I'd done it so much sooner.
We did talk to an occupational therapist, who made the suggestion of having some sensory stimulus to his head *before* what she termed "the insult to his scalp" (the hairwashing). She recommended having him crawl through a tube/tunnel or something low which would nearly require his head to be brushed upon/touched before we washed his hair. (Honestly, setting up this sort of activity before every hair wash was more than what I was up for, but the buzz cut seemed to have solved the problem; we now have to wash his hair at most two times in a week.
OH- and before you go get the buzz cut, be sure to find some videos of other people getting the same cut on YouTube. I really searched for one that had the loud, buzzing sound, so Kiddo would know what to expect.
if he's 9, he should be washing his own hair. you might try keeping his hair short enough that it doesn't need to be combed. my son has hair that falls where it should without combing (assuming it's cut right), but I know not every kid does. conditioner is great too.
Have you had him tested for sensory processing dysfunction? This is a symptom.
He might have a scalp problem that causes extra sensitivity. You might also evaluate how you (or he) are washing - maybe it doesn't need to be scrubbed so much as rubbed? Would it simply be easier if he washes his own head? My DD has curls and I kind of scrunch her hair and only scrub the parts of her scalp that need it. Then I put conditioner on it and let it soak in. Dove works well for us. Does he use a conditioner? He might need to, or at least a 2 in 1.
Have you discussed with a dermatologist?
Both my kids (4 and 6) are always screaming about combing their hair. I now use Johnson and Johnson's detangler and it makes a BIG difference....it really is "no more tears."
S.
