How to Care to Daughter's Curly Hair

Updated on February 02, 2009
C.M. asks from Fort Worth, TX
21 answers

My 2 1/2 year old daughter was born with A LOT of curly hair. It never fell out and is now waist length. It is beautiful. Unfortunately, her hair is awlays tangled and we rarely leave it down due to this. It is always up in a bun, or ponytails. My husband has suggested cutting it since we can't enjoy it anyway. I see his point, but I REALLY don't want to do this. I always dreamed I would have a little girl with long curly hair. I have considered cutting a little bit to see if it helps. Maybe layers??? Before I chop off her hair and do something I might regret I thought it would be worth asking for your advice. Any suggestions for products, hair do's, or even a hair cut to help would be much appreciated. TIA!

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B.B.

answers from Dallas on

All good tips so far! In addition, brushing causes frizziness, so use a wide tooth comb to detangle. I also use Garnier Fructis serum to help control frizz. I don't know that she'll need that now, but she probably will when she gets older.

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V.S.

answers from Dallas on

Learn to french braid it. Then let her sleep in that. A well done french braid can last for 4-7 days. It is pretty and doesn't get caught in anything!

VickiS

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M.V.

answers from Abilene on

My entire family has curly hair. We go to a natural curl specialist to get our haircut/trimmed (sounds expensive and fancy, but I'm in Abilene..there is no such thing)! She trained in NYC and has done a fantastic job cutting, styling and teaching us! She also referred us to www.naturallycurly.com. It is a very helpful website with some great tips. I'd be happy to chat with you some more. Just send me a message anytime! Good luck.

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E.W.

answers from Dallas on

Don't cut her hair. Enjoy the lenght for as long as you can. Definitely keep it trimmed though so there is no breakage.

My 2 daughters have curly hair and just this past year I've found the absolute products for their hair. Here are two websites to follow.

www.mixedchicks.net
www.ouidad.com

Once a month, wash her hair with Tresseme's Deep Cleansing Shampoo.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

I know others have told you not to layer. But, I myself have very curly hair as does my daughter. After 37 years of curly hair, I have tried just about everything on the market. The best advice I can give you is DO cut it in layers...long layers. This totally helps with the tangles and you as well as your daughter will enjoy her long hair for a much longer time. My daughter has a very sensitive head and after shampooing and conditioning her hair in the shower, towel dry then I use a hair serum and run it through her hair starting at the ends and working my way up. I am then able to brush her hair, I let it air dry which takes minutes with curly hair. It is always beautiful. I hope this helps...

S.
Mom of three beautiful children: my curly haired 6 year old girl, my red haired 2 year old girl and my little man who is 13 weeks old.

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S.B.

answers from Tyler on

Please don't cut it! And definately don't cut it in layers! This will only make it "bigger". :)
I have curly hair, and brushing, and layering only make things worse!
Several things, always condition it very well when washing. Brush it only when wet. Use a mousse or gel (I personally use finesse for curls mousse) Use enough to get it to all the hair, down to the tips. Then scrunch it. Let it dry naturally, and crunch out the stiffness when it's dry.
That's what I've found works for my long, curly hair. And it's been very trial and error. It always just kills my mom that she couldn't brush mine, like she could hers. But it just causes frizz and big hair! :)
Hope this helps some!
Jennifer

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

You've gotten a lot of good advice. Here's what I'd add: don't brush her hair out when dry, EVER. This will make it a big frizzy mess--plus be an unpleasant endeavor for both of you (since curls are actually big tangles, so curly hair will always be a little tangled). Comb it out while wet--or better yet, with the conditioner still in--with a wide-tooth comb, then touch it as little as possible as it dries and once it's dry. I, personally, use shampoo on my hair only about once a month--seriously. I use conditioner every day, and use it to scrub my scalp, massage it through my hair, etc. I only use shampoo if for some reason my hair gets really dirty. Shampoo dries out curly hair a lot, and the drier it is, the more it will frizz and tangle. Conditioner is your friend. Finally, I recommend getting a spray bottle with just water in it, and use it to spritz her hair to reactivate the curl when it gets flat, or too frizzy, or otherwise not right--a quick spritz will get all the natural curls to come back. Curly hair is both a blessing and a curse--I've both loved and hated mine--but knowing how to deal with it, and accepting its limitations, helps a lot! GL!

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

Trim her hair regularly. TONS of conditioner and leave in spray conditioner. In my personal experience layers just made my hair bigger. But I think it depends on the tightness of the curl. There is alot of great advice, do some on-line research and find someone in your area that specializes in curly hair. Good Luck

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J.N.

answers from Lubbock on

Dear C.:

You may have to figure out what works for your daughter. My hair goes through stages where it is curly, then years later, it is only slightly wavy, and then back to the curls. I like using curly shampoos and conditioners (even if I am straightening my hair!) If I want it to be curly, I also add a leave in conditioner and don't even comb it - for me, I just end up with 4 inches of fluff.
PS I can brush my hair right before I wash it.
Jen

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M.G.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I only washed my daughter's curly hair every 3 days when she was little. I used a heavy conditioner and combed thru her hair w/ a wide tooth comb before i rinsed. after towel drying, we put a small amount of biolage biosilk on her hair and combed again. if it was bedtime, we would loosely braid her hair for the night and the next morning spritz it w/ a leave in conditioner and scrunch it to activate the curls. If we washed it in the morning, after applying the biosilk, we scrunched it and let it air dry. We always put it in a loose ponytail or braids at night and spritzed it in the mornings if we wanted to wear it down. We wear it up alot on school days because it's easier! I would keep her hair the length you enjoy it while she's little because once she was older (my daughter was in 2nd grade) she wanted to cut it and I really missed her long hair. Now that she is old enough to take care of it herself, she prefers to keep it mid-length (long enough to put up but short enough to be manageable).

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C.G.

answers from Jacksonville on

Conditioning the right way should make all the difference. also gel when hair is wet should keep it in place and not let it tangle up. There are so many products out there and places to go to get professional advice and tools, that you should have no problem. Good luck.

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M.K.

answers from Washington DC on

I did not read all the responses but it looks like you have some wonderful ones. Before you cut you might look for a book called "curly girl" it has a whole section in how to care for curly headed kids hair. Good luck! I'm sure she has beautiful hair.

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S.E.

answers from Dallas on

I am a hairdresser not that means anything but I deal with tangly curly hair on a daily basis. I agree with everyone else trimming the ends helps alot. I do suggest just enough layering to get the dead ends off so they won't tangle so bad. But a good shampoo, conditoner, and leave-in conditoner will make all the differnce in the world along with the dead ends cut off. I suggest Silky Sexy Hair Shampoo and Condtioner along with Healthy Sexy Hair Soy-Tri Leave-in. It is amazing stuff. I never have problems with tangles anymore. Your hair dresser can get it thru their RDA Rep. You'll love it!!!

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L.M.

answers from Abilene on

my hair is like that and layers do really help! and, it really defines the curls, too! I use conditioner on my girl's hair, and even de-frizz it (you can even use in very, very small amounts the hair silk or the hair cream thats usually found for coarse hair) to smooth and define it!

that's worked for us!

good luck!

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A.T.

answers from Dallas on

hi there,
you dont have to cut off all of her hair.
i have naturally curly hair too. you really have to keep the ends trimmed, and layering is a good idea too
also use a conditioner like biolage conditioning balm, leave it in for 10 min.
Also try using a leave in conditioner, i use mega silk, you can find that at sallys for about 10.00 for a huge tub.
anything with a deep condioner in it is good too. it also helps to use a wide tooth comb on her hair after you wash it while the conditioner is still in to get the tangles out.
If there are knots you may want to cut those just a little. {my hair gets knots all of the time if i dont keep it trimmed} I hope this helps you. A.

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N.C.

answers from Dallas on

my best friends 5 year old has curly hair...she had never cut it till the other day and it REALLY helped.....she washes it with adult shampoo and conditioner and combs it...never brushes it...if she is doing something she wantes her to look cute she washes it in the morning and puts mouse in it to hold the curls....her hair only looks frizzy after she has rolled around on it.....good luck

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

I have had curly hair all my life...really curly. Always thought of it as a curse, though everyome else loved my hair. Out of my six kids only one got my curly hair...of course hers is beautiful golden blond ringlets!!!! But her hair got tangled all the time. I layered it...didnt help, then cut it shoulder length and regret set it. didn't matter, curls get tangled no matter what length. But the key is conditioning!!!!!!!! In the shower AND out. Infusium 23 is a great leave in conditioner (I believe suave makes the "generic" form of it). It's wonder at keeping her hair from knotting up and we can leave her hair down. Just remember no matter what curls get knots...the hair is twisting around itself...can't do much about that but conditioning helps tons!!!!!!!!

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K.P.

answers from Dallas on

I have super curly, long, thick hair and it took until high school to find something that worked for my hair.
This may sound odd, but here's what I do:
I wash my hair every other day at the most. I use Herbal Essence products. They are the least expensive products I've found that work for me.
I use a ton of conditioner. I comb my hair with a wide tooth comb when the conditioner is in and I don't rinse it out.
I squeeze out the excess conditioner and then towel dry my hair.
Quickly after getting out of the shower I use a generous amount of leave in conditioner in addition to the regular conditioner that is already in my hair. (Bio silk works even better, but is expensive. Note the biosilk shampoo and conditioner are horrible. I only like the clear de-frizz solution.)
Let towel dry.
When I sleep, I put my hair in a loose ponytail on top of my head so I don't get too many tangles during the night.
Good luck!

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C.Z.

answers from Dallas on

Just trim the ends, don't layer it!

Get a boar bristle brush!!!!!!! & brush before you wash it, not after, unless it is dry, and you are going to braid it.

You could braid it at night if it gets tangled while she sleeps.

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

I Have extremely curly hair myself and so does my daughter. For Elizabeth, I use Burt's Bees shampoo/wash and Suave for Kids Kids Conditioner plus Detangler Hoppin Awesome Apple.

Some rules with curly hair:
1. Don't cut bangs!!!
2. A straight cut is best and probably just below the shoulders until she is able to do it herself.
3. Only use shampoo on her hair every third wash. At other times, just apply conditioner and rinse.
4. Get a kids spray/leave-in detangler for mornings when it looks frizzy
5. Try not to put it in a pony tail too often. Curly hair is more brittle and has a tendency to get damaged more easily.
6. The best clips are the cheap plastic ones that have a slight grip in them. If she has a tendency to pull out barrettes like my daughter, wrap the hair around the clip once before you clamp it closed.
7. Get wide toothed comb to comb out when wet and let dry naturally as often as possible.

Those are my only suggestions... I hope this helps!

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V.A.

answers from Amarillo on

Cutting might help, just so you dont have to battle with it. It doesnt have to be super short, just a little shorter so it will be easier to manage for you and a lot less struggle for her. There are also lots of leave in or spray in conditioners out there that will probably help . I wouldn't do layers though, that may make it worse. If you do decide to cut, there is always the idea of cutting off the amount needed to donate to Locks of Love, I think its 13", then you will feel good about cutting it, because you'll know it went to a good cause.

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