Should I Change My Girls' Last Names?

My brother was in a similar situation. My oldest niece is not biologically his, but he raised her from the time she was 1. Her biological father was not in her life AT ALL physically, but did pay the ordered child support. My brother and sister-in-law decided to do a legal name change, so Ciara does have the same last name as her mom and dad, and when her brother and sister came along a few years later... the same last name as them. It worked out really well for them!

Considering how your daughters feel and the fact that their bio-father has been gone for over 2 years, I would talk to your husband about adopting them and changing their name that way. They deserve a real dad and a sense of family identity. In your situation it doesn't sound like it will be difficult to declare abandonment.

Good luck, and congrats!!

Someone I work with went through something similar, and she was told that if the biological parent does not sign away their parental rights, then they have to be out of contact in any way shape or form for something like two years to be considered abandoned and then their parental rights are automatically given away.

I am not sure your new husband can adopt them legally without the biological father either signing away his rights or them being classified as abandoned. Maybe if you find the bio dad he will sign the papers if you forgo any past or future child support.

I am not sure about just legally changing their names. I would look into it if I were you. Since they are minors there might be all kinds of hoops to jump through.

Maybe your fiance can give your girls a special gift on your wedding day, to officially welcome them to the family.

Maybe you could change their names to CURRENT FIRST, CURRENT LAST (now as the middle name) and NEW LAST.

Good luck with your decision!

If I am not mistaken the only way to change their names is to have your new husband legally adopt them. And their bio-father would have to sign off on this. It could be difficult if you do not know where he is. My sister tried to simply add her husbands name to my nieces name for insurance and travel reasons and was not able to do this. Changing a child's name is not as easy as it sounds...Good Luck with whatever you decide!

Would your current fiance be adopting your girls?
If i were in the situation I wouldn't change their last name unless he adopted them. If he's not going to, I would keep my own name so the girls didn't have a different last name than their mother.

Only if he's adopting them. Otherwise, I'd leave them the same.

I have a friend whose husband has 2 daughters from a previous marriage. The oldest one is not his biological child but he has always been there for her. Even when her mother and him got divorced he still supported her. Her biological father would not sign off on the adoption so they legally changed her name. You can do that. No adoption necessary. You just need to check on how to go about changing their names.