Separate or Joint Bank Accounts

Updated on April 06, 2012
E.S. asks from Hackettstown, NJ
42 answers

Quick survey here: Do you have a separate or joint bank account and why?

DH and I have separate bank accounts. It's just something we've always done, no questions asked. But now that I'm not working, I'm thinking otherwise. I get unemployment but at $400 less a month than what I wasmaking when working. I can't pitch in what I used to so I'm thinking we should just combining everything.

But I kind of feel like I'm ceding control Yes, it's me.

So what's your situation?

What can I do next?

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

The definition for 'joint', as an adjective: shared, held or made by two or more people.
Thats what a marriage is. This topic has been brought up a zillion times on here and I still can't fathom the idea of "separate money".
Sorry, I vented just a little.

5 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

Joint accounts only. We never had separate accounts.

Hubby doesn't know all the passwords to the accounts, though; I am the financial planner in the family. He just makes the money ;-)

4 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i totally get what you're saying. i had my own business account for almost 20 years and really liked it. when i shut it down it didn't make sense to keep 2 accounts any more (i earn very little these days) but oh, how i disliked giving up 'my' money.
i definitely like 'what's his is mine and what's mine is mine.'
sigh.
;) khairete
S.

2 moms found this helpful

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B..

answers from Dallas on

EVERYTHING of ours is joint. We have not had one single argument about money in our 6 year marriage. Not even one disagreement. I believe complete transparency has helped with that. We don't need separate accounts to be individuals. Nor, do we somehow feel we have less control. We both have access to whatever we want.

9 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

Joint

Reason - marriage is a joint venture.

It works for us. We've been happily married 18 years. We both work full time, but it wouldn't matter. Either way we would have joint accounts (savings and checking).

6 moms found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

each own plus joint that is household money.

4 moms found this helpful
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R.S.

answers from San Antonio on

We have always had one account...it was always "our" money.

Didn't matter who made it...it all went to pay our bills.

We both have total access...but I do pay the bills and try my best to keep us on budget.

4 moms found this helpful
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P.R.

answers from Austin on

I know that everyone has their opinion on joint vs. separate and here is mine: both. We have a joint checking and savings that the bills come out of. But we also have separate checking and savings and our credit cards are separate too. We have the separate so that we get to surprise each other for Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. But everything else is full disclosure. BTW, a little advice for everyone out there, I work in the banking field, please, whatever your choice, joint or separate, please know what you both have and be listed as co-owner or POD (payable on death). Countless times people need access to CD's, IRAs, or checking/savings accounts and the deceased spouse did not list them on said accounts. This causes time delays to accessing funds which, given your situation, may or may not be crucial to have. Just know where the money is and how to access it!!! Sorry, just a side note there :)

3 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Not a "control" issue here. When we married in 1989 we went joint and we've been that way since. No secrets, etc. we are a team.

Most of those years I was an at home wife/ mom after my corporate life.

Now we run our own company and I manage OUR 8 business accounts together and the 5 banking accounts personally. This does not include joint investments.

We are both very active with all financials business and personal and we simply work as a team. We don't look at it as his, mine, ours. We built this together.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

We have one joint account. We both have complete access, viewing, cards, and "authority" to do as we please. Both our names are on everything. Its never been an issue for us. We share our lives together so therefore we share all else too.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

My hubby and I have always had joint accounts, checking and savings. I do have a separate business account. And he has his separate account that his unemployment benefits are deposited to, but once the money is deposited, he transfers it to our joint account. Same with my business account. When the client payment clears, the money is transferred to our joint account.

We have joint accounts because we firmly believe that what we have is ours together and neither one takes more than like $20 for pocket money without consulting with the other. We get along very well in terms of how we run our finances.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I had a separate account when I had my own business. This was mainly for efficiency in bookkeeping/accounting, esp. for taxes.

Even then, though, we also had a joint account. In some way, it might feel like you are giving someone else control of the purse strings, but it doesn't have to be that way. Sit down together at least once a month and make sure you both have the same idea of what the budget/priorities look like. Talk to your husband about how much discretionary money you might each have; this may change from month to month, depending on the bills, etc.

I find that regular communication is the best way to go, just so that there are no misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

Even if you decide to keep your own account open, and save up for something, a joint account is still nice for couples. As Kristina suggested, the joint account is household money.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

joint, i don't work outside the home

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

I have two joint accounts and one separate account. When hubby was in the military it was easier to have a separate joint account so that bill paying and house expenditures did not put us in the red. In fact one of the joint accounts was my personal account but when we went overseas we had to change the direct deposit so I added him to my account. When we returned to the states he insisted on another account and that was joint from a different state. The separate account was when I did real estate and i just have kept it. My paycheck from my job goes into it and I do move money around to all the accounts.

It's something that we have done for nearly 40 years an there is no problem of his, mine, or ours. It sometimes makes it easier since his joint account is like an allowance account and he spends his money as he sees fit. Plus we have a savings account with both of our names on it.

To each his own.

The other S.

PS Now that I have started another small business the separate account has the funds going in and out of that so that it does not take away from the household monies.

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

We just have 1 joint checking and 1 joint savings account. It's all marital money (especially now that I don't work ;-))

I am pretty bad with money (though I've gotten much better over the years). So, to ensure that I don't overspend, I get a weekly cash allowance

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

We have both joint and individual. I would be fine with joint if my husband could control his spending, but I've learned over the years that he can only have access to small amounts of money so I keep any large amounts (annual bonus, a tax return if we get one, etc.) separate so that he doesn't inadvertently spend them. He then keeps separate accounts to spite me LOL.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

We had "yours, mine, and ours" accounts. That was my requirement before marriage (actually before co-habitating). We used the joint account to pay the mortgage, groceries, and other household expenses. We each contributed a set amount each month according to our incomes. The rest of our money went into our separate accounts and we could spend/save as we wanted, no questions asked.

This worked quite well, mostly. The only concern I had was that I was more of a saver, so when it came time to go on a vacation or buy new furniture, I always seemed to have the money and he didn't. That could have been overcome by having a joint savings account setup for those special purchases.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

We are self employed, so we have more accounts than really "normal" folks do, but they are all joint. I use purpose-driven accounts. For example, on the personal side, we have a joint checking, a kids' clothes and activities account, a "main" joint savings, and a joint vacation savings.

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A.G.

answers from Provo on

We've always had everything joint - bank accounts and credit cards. We both grew up where that was the way it was when you were married. It wasn't a control thing...it just...was the way it was. It's always worked for us...we've never argued over money or finances. When he was doing some remodeling on our basement there was an occasional, "What'd you spend $1100 on at Home Depot?" But it's just curiosity - He weighs out purchases and is even more frugal than I am (which says a lot).

(Of course, this is the guy that came home with 20 pounds of dried pinto beans when I asked him to pick up a can of refried beans - because it was a 'better deal')

2 moms found this helpful

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

As soon as we got back from our honeymoon and had all the legal paperwork in hand with my new name we went out and got everything made into joint accounts. I think the only thing without my name on it is my husband's car because I wasn't there when he bought it, I was home with the baby and they forgot to add my name on it even though he asked. I don't remember if we finally fixed that, I know we keep forgetting.
All money earned is for the family. We pay all family expenses and we're both allowed to spend "play money" so long as all the living expenses are taken care of. I take care of paying the bills and balancing the checkbook because I'm better at it and I have more time to do it.
There is no his or mine, it is all ours.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Since my husbands first paycheck after our first date, he has signed his checks over to me. He said he might as well.

The accounts were in my name even after we were married, until the bank mailed his paycheck back to us for lack of positive ID.

We have one joint account and I have an account in my name, which he doesn't care to be added to and I have my business account.

We have separate investment accounts and some joint.

It really doesn't matter to us. If I leave cash on the table, he will take it if he needs it and leave it otherwise.

We had a child together, so why not trust each other enough to share money.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

We have always had a joint account. We got married right out of college, so we combined our accounts then. We have always been 100% on the same page about money and savings, so a joint account has worked out well. Two separate accounts seems confusing to me. I've also been a SAHM for the last 7 years, so I'm not sure what would be in "my" account if I had my own.

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B.R.

answers from Madison on

Joint even before marriage...I however am in charge of finances...hubby probably couldn't even log onto the bank account even if he wanted to...so not his area of family life :)

Updated

Joint even before marriage...I however am in charge of finances...hubby probably couldn't even log onto the bank account even if he wanted to...so not his area of family life :)

1 mom found this helpful

N.P.

answers from San Francisco on

We used to have separate for years, and now we have joint. When banks started charging fees for having an account and forcing us to jump through hoops to keep a fee-free checking account, we eventually just pooled it all together into one account. Then we got used to that way so when we switched to a credit union that no longer had all the fine print tacked onto our accounts, we just stayed with joint.

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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

Joint AND separate.

All are separate, but "linked". Only one checking is truly joint.

However.....we have a budget and everyone knows where the money is.

As far as ceding control - you did that the day you said "I do". Legally, it's all marital property whether it's just your name or not on the account. We keep seperate just because we are too lazy thus far to change all the direct deposit/auto pay stuff.

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T.A.

answers from Seattle on

An old man once told my husband and I the secret to a long and happy marriage was separate bank accounts :)

We have done better after going from joint only to on joint account for bills and each having our own separate accounts. All three are with the same bank do it's easy to transfer money, etc. but it has helped!

1 mom found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

All our accounts are joint but we have his and hers. Joint because we each have every right to all the money, his and hers because we still value our autonomy.

1 mom found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

We have 3 accounts. It started as two, mine and his. Then we got a joint one at a local bank. Then I added his name to mine. My name is not on "his," but all of the money is transffered out of there every month to pay other bills. We simply keep that account open to get lower interest rates if we need a loan. His retirement check from the Navy goes there. I also have all of the passwords, so it's not like it's secret.

His check from work goes into our joint account, where some of it stays to pay the car notes, but the rest is transferred into "my" account that he is also on and has all rights to. "My" account is what we use for most of our bills and every day needs.

Savings is being built back up at the bank where we opened our joint account. I don't check that one as often so I won't spend the $.

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C.R.

answers from Kansas City on

We had separate accounts only because it was nice to have several bank locations we could go to. When I lost my job we made everything joint accounts.

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T.W.

answers from Syracuse on

We had separate accounts for the first 3 years of our marriage when I was still working, we just never bothered to get a joint account and I liked still having my own account. We basically treated my account as a savings account and tried to live as much as we could off his salary alone. Once I became a SAHM, we got a joint account and I take care of all the finances.

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G.T.

answers from Rochester on

We have both. Each of us has our own bank account and we have a joint account. The joint account is for paying bills only. Each of us contributes what we need to to pay the bills according to how much we make. The rest of our money we put in our own accounts to do with as we please or to just save for something special. We also have a savings account that we each contribute to for vacations or emergencies such as a new washer or water heater.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

Joint, but we have separate credit cards. I always though it odd for couples to have separate accounts, especially in only one is working. Over the years we have both been in situations where the other was the breadwinner for a few months or years (unemployment, irregular consulting work, going back to school) and I think it would be horrible if me or DH had to ask the other for an "allowance".

I do think separate accounts only make sense if one of the spouses has spending issues or enters the relationship with a mountain of debt.

Good luck.

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C.S.

answers from Medford on

We have joint accounts. I believe to truly be committed 100% as husband and wife (even not married) you need to combine everything, especially finances. Keeping them seperate will only lead to problems down the road. What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours.

I have friends (several actually) that have seperate accounts or one spouse is completely out of the loop and they are always having issues.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hubby and I have never had a joint account. I have had cards, he has had cards, he has savings and I don't, he has checking and I did, I closed mine when I stopped working. I manage the child support we receive on the grand kids and use that money to buy groceries and stuff they might want after needs have been met.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

we have separate accounts, but complete access to each others' accounts. We can transfer money back and forth easily if necessary, but we both prefer to leave it the way it is, since we both do direct deposit from work and have some bills taken out automatically.

My grandparents, who have the best marriage ever and who I hope to be as great as, also have separate accounts, so I've never felt the need to combine.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Joint checking and savings, but separate credit cards and investments. We are eachothers benficiaries on the investment accounts, but we came into the marriage with separate assets and chose to keep them separate. Anything that was "opened" as a couple is "joint".

Reasoning? We have joint bank accounts because we don't hide spending from eachother, nor do I want to try and remember "who pays what". One set of bills, one checking account. Same thing with our savings- we built that account together, so both names. As I mentioned with respect to 401 and other investments- we had those established long before we met... no need to combine them!

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

We had yours, mine, ours.

His & mine got absolutely equal amounts dep into them each paycheck... And we're for EVERYTHING personal (clothes, hair, lunches at work, girls nights/boys nights, computers, iTunes, hobbies, subscriptions, etc.), and ours was strictly mortgage/bills, allowance -kiddos-, savings.

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

We both own businesses so we each have a biz account and we each have a personal account. neither of us is on the others accounts although we know the codes and have access to all of them. I use hubs debit card each month to call in all our bills from his personal account. I use my biz account as "extra" (I make WAY less than hubs) and my personal account for child suppt (when its paid) and whatever I want to spend what I want and all the groceries, clothes, etc. comes out of my personal acct. We intended to get a joint account when we married 2.5 years ago but never did since this is working well for us. =)

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L.H.

answers from New York on

Wow, I didn't realize so many people have separate accounts. I guess I really live in the past. I've had people tell me that a woman should always have a separate account, in case hubby decides to leave so he can't take everything. Never listened and still can't bring myself to. My parents always had joint accounts; because my father was affraid that if something happened to him, my mom wouldn't automatically get the money. Hubby and I do the same thing our parents did...All our bank accounts are joint and either one of us can take the money and run if we really wanted to. (It's an "or" account not an "and" account.) We do it out of trust and as proof of trust for each other. (We feel if you don't have trust in your marriage, it's not a "real marriage.") I will admit to having the traditional "cookie jar," where I keep extra money if we run short or I want to get something special for birthdays/Christmas. (The change goes into my son's piggy bank and then into his actual bank account, which I am the custodian for.) Both hubby and I make the big decisions together like purchasing a car, purchasing a house, investing, taking out a CD, etc. I hate to say it, but we work as a team. (I don't like the word team...It's too sportsy for me.) He even helps me find bargains and coupons. I hunt for freebies. We've been married for 20 years. Argue? Yes, it's just part of being married and no one can agree on everything all the time. Cheat? No way, we both have found the perfect mate. We even still get gushy every now and then. Our parents were the same way. I also do not like the word, "control." I really think that is what's wrong with our current society. People are so much into control that they can't handle a situation that they have no control over. To me marriage and family are all about sacrificing, not really about control. As a family or a married couple you sacrifice for each other out of love.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

We had separate accounts at my insistence after I got accused by an ex of stealing from him.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

My husband has his paycheck direct deposited. They will allow it to be split 3 ways. we have it set up so that $500 a week goes into a credit union account. this account is what we use for the house payment. what is left of the paycheck is then divided up 80% (aprox t $400) to the joint bank account which I use for bills. the other 20% (aprox $100) goes into my personal account and I use it for gas for my van and groceries. no questions my money is my money and his money is our money lol

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Ditto Julie G. lol

I am the 2nd on his accounts, he is the 2nd on mine. I use his account for all household expenses and give him an "allowance" into my account for him to fill his gas tank, eat lunch out here and there and use as he pleases.
My account is also his deployment account.

Even when I was working it all went into his, the house account, first.

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