Joint Credit Cards or in Your Own Name?

Here's why I think your husband is wrong to say you shouldn't have a credit card in your own name. My mom and dad had 2 credit cards held jointly. After Daddy died 2 1/2 years ago, it took 2 hours on the phone (me on one extension, her on the other) talking to just one of the credit card companies about taking Daddy's name off. All of a sudden I realized that they were making her qualify for the card all over again, even though they had held this card together for over 10 years. She is in her 70's, long retired, on a fixed income, and I was terrified that they would say no to her. (Daddy had been retired too, so it wasn't like he worked.) After all that time on the phone, it ended up that she did have a credit card, with a small limit.

The other credit card company also let her keep it, but because the fine print gave them the right to do it, they upped her interest rate by 10%. This was the low-rate card that they had put their car payment on. We had to pay off the card because of that, and this was a surprise and a bit of a hardship.

After that happened, I realized as a non-working spouse what kind of circumstance I could be in if I didn't have my own card. If I die, it's easy for him to cancel my card. If he dies, and I have to cancel him off of a joint card, I would be reliving my mom's ordeal. My husband understood this and was glad for me to get my own card. I am GRATEFUL to have my own card. Every one of us, wife or husband, should be careful with our cards and not charge more than we can afford. That's just plain good responsibility and good sense.

Explain this to your husband. Let him read what I wrote, if you want. If he doesn't trust you for no good reason, then I would say he is being selfish and controlling. If he loves you and if you are responsible with money, he can help your life a great deal by making smart decisions before the fact.

PS. The same concept does NOT apply to car ownership. The car was only in Daddy's name, and we had to go through a mess with probate and the courthouse to get it in Mom's name. If it had been in joint name, it would have been very easy.

All my best,
D.

5 moms found this helpful

Hello, I lost my husband last March after 43 years of marriage. I had credit cards in my name. If not I would have no credit history of my own. I would think about getting one in each of your names and only using it for something that you can pay off each month.
K. K.

4 moms found this helpful

This is NOT about a credit card. This is about lying and keeping secrets. None of which has any room in a marriage. this could as eaily been a child the other didn't know about, or a lover....but it's a credit card...same thing.

We have 2 that are joint accounts, but I have one in my maiden name that I have had for 20 years. We use this one for internet purchases, since my maiden name is something generic like SMITH and my married name is extremely rare. My husband is on the account as an authorized user, but does not have a card.

My mother's friend told me, when I got married, to keep ONE credit card in my maiden name, in the event, he dies, we get divorced, etc. It's not that I'm counting on that happening, but am preared in case it does. Just easier to change everything back, if need be.

I also got married about a year before I finished grad school, so my first 2 degrees were in my maiden name and I had my 3rd one printed to show my maiden name as well. When they called my name on stage for graduation, I had them call my married name. Once again, if something happens, I don't have to change anything and go through the hassle of re-printing my degrees. My husbamd really wanted my married name on the degree, but I told him I was taking his last name, so he needed to get over it. He did.

3 moms found this helpful

We have joint cards, and we each have one alone. Mine is for my business, though. He handles the finances, but if I want to know something or buy something, we talk. I don't think the issue is which is right. The issue is really about honesty, and your sister failed that one, big time. Do what you want in your relationship, just be honest and open. And DON'T bail your sister out. She's an adult, she needs to act like it and stop trying to drag you into her drama.

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We have both. I am always honest about my spending and would never mind if he went through our financial stuff to see what was going on, he doesn't, but I encourage him too. He has maxed out credit cards twice with out my knowledge. It nearly cost us our marriage, not because I care so much about the $, but because it was shady and dishonest. The charges were stupid, I went over them with a fine tooth comb. I don't think it matters who's name they are in as long as everything is in the open. People who max out their cards need to grow up and lose the entitlement issues. I am hoping my husband learned his lesson as I will not put up with it anymore. Your sister is being immature and needs to learn to be responsible even if that means she can not buy what she wants when she wants it. I would not give her a loan. I also made my husband work a second job to pay off his stupid credit cards even though we could have just paid them off from our savings. I wanted him to learn from it.

3 moms found this helpful

Like many of the other posters, my husband and I both kept our credit cards we had already before getting married. It was just easier to do that. We do have a joint bank account though and we know the login information online for each other's credit cards so that either of us can pay the bills. Dawn B had an excellent point about why individual credit is so important. I hope your husband can see that and realizes he is not being reasonable.

2 moms found this helpful

Joint accounts are a good idea. In many cases however what you think may be a "joint" account is actually an individual account where another person also has a card issued on the same account.

You should always have some type of credit in each of the spouses names. Even though you're married, for credit purposes, your treated as individuals. A good credit rating is one of your most valuable assets in today's society. So yes, I think you should have a card in your own name, and he should have a card in his own name.

Also, NO SECRETS! Each of you should be aware of how the money in your household is being spent.

I'll also add that both hubby and I agree that there's no her money/his money. It's OUR money. It's OUR debt. We both carry credit cards and use them frequently. We also pay off the balances every month and enjoy those rebate checks we receive several times a year. We also never make any large purchases (over $100) without discussing it first with the other. It's worked for us for 18 years.

2 moms found this helpful

First thing is you should never have a CC that your husband doesn't know about! You do need to have a CC in just your name as does your husband to build a good credit history.

When you have CC in each of your names you both should know what the balance is on those accounts. In a marriage you shouldn't have secrets.

2 moms found this helpful

We each have our own cards but don't carry balances on our cards. Actually, we have no joint credit cards.

2 moms found this helpful

In actuality, there is no such thing as a joint account. Someone has to be the primary account holder, and that is the person who has control over the account. You can get credit cards from that account in your spouses name, or your children's for that matter. My mom put me on all her credit cards from the age of 14, just so I would accumulate a credit history. All of our credit cards are "joint" accounts, though I am the primary account holder on some of them and my husband on others. That way, with me being a SAHM, I still maintain a credit rating/history. It wouldn't even occur to me to have a cc that my husband didn't know about.

2 moms found this helpful

My husband and I have separate credit cards and a joint checking account. We have separate CC's for many of the reasons already mentioned by other posters. Also, my credit rating is MILES better than my husbands.
We don't carry balances on our credit cards, unless we purchase an item (such as furniture or appliances) that has no interest financing for a period of time. The item is ALWAYS paid off before the financing period is expired.

I agree totally with your thought that if each spouse is aware of the account and totally honest that it's perfectly okay to have separate accounts.

I'm sure this situation with your sister has colored your husband's view of the subject.
To be sure, your sister has made a mistake, one that I am sure she regrets. But, that is no reason to say that ALL people should have joint accounts, with no exceptions.
I'm with ya! :)

2 moms found this helpful

I think your husband is off base about you not having a card. In this day and age with FICO scores and credit ratings it would be best for each to have a card in his/her own name as well as maybe a joint card. You two are separate people living together and you each have a separate credit score (there was an article on Yahoo recently). If you split up or die you will be judged on your own scores not joint.

Your sister was in the wrong to not tell hubby she had a credit card in her name and now she is in over her head and cannot pay the bill. If your BIL does pay the bill your sister may have **** to pay for her actions. She made her bed.

I hope you get a card in your name. The other S.

2 moms found this helpful

Frankly, it does not matter in whos name the cards are, but the transparency that you have with the bills. My husband has NO IDEA how much we spend for stuff until I sit him down and show him the spreadsheet. We have joint and separate cards, but I pay all of the bills, including those for his own business. We sit down every 3-6 months and look at how we are doing. Sometimes it is a huge shock how much we have/spend and sometimes we are on track. (when you have your own business as your only income, it is up and down, unlike a salary). The important part is that we keep track of it and we stay on top of it. My husband does not begrudge my yoga habit and I don't begrudge him taking his important clients out for sushi, but we both know about these expenses. I guess just having the knowledge of income and outflows is important to a marriage, not the execution of how it is done.

2 moms found this helpful

I think it depends on the couple but I think both should have PIN#'s and access to all accounts, personal and joint. Ask around about how many women "can't" leave their husbands because they have "no money". There shouldn't be any secrets but there should also be access to all accounts/credit cards/etc by both the husband and wife. Just my opinion.

2 moms found this helpful

We each have our own totally separate finances - checking acct, savings acct, credit cards, etc. We keep one joint checking account with a debit card for "household" purchases - anything for the house, the baby, groceries, things like that go on the joint card. We split our paychecks so that a proportionate amount goes into our personal accounts and the joint account. We figure out what the household expenses will be and contribute accordingly, and adjust if expenses change, one of us gets a raise, etc.

It's a little confusing to work out the math, but it's a great system. It means the household expenses are covered, and we each get to spend our own money however we want. It also makes gifts to each other more meaningful since we buy those from our personal accounts.

Honestly I can't imagine not having my own credit card. I work hard for my money and deserve to spend at least some of it how I see fit.

2 moms found this helpful

Well my opinion is that every woman should have at least one credit card with her name on it. I have two and my husband is aware of both. My husband happens to be the spender in our family so that curtails most of the spending. He can't use my cards. Also, if for any reason anything happened to my husband I have some established credit so that I may get a loan, or buy a car, or rent a place to live if that was the case. There is a reason you should have your own credit, but your spouse should be fully aware of those credit cards. I have my own checking account too. We have a joint account, but I do have my own. I have a side business and my husband felt it was better to not have it mixed up with our joint account. I don't know, but I feel I am a little more prepared in case something unexpected happened.

2 moms found this helpful

My husband and I have "one" join credit card that I always put our household expense on it, which means everything under the sun and he is the one paying them off the end of each month. We both have at least two credit cards under our own name which we both know about which we hardly used. I only used mine own credit cards when the place don't take our join credit card or I buying gift for him which I don't want him to know, like birthdays. I do believe as long as you are honest and smart about your spending, and of course, your spouse knows about them. It shouldn't be a problem having your credit cards or even your own bank accounts. Sometimes I found it very stressful or even guilty to use our join credit card to buy something I want, even thought I know he won't mind at all, but the fact is he is the one who paying off the credit card. I do think it's health to have your own credit card to spend money on you or something you like, which having the feeling you are spending your own money not his money. The bottom line is as long as you are honest with your husband/spouse about it, then I think it's good...

2 moms found this helpful

My husband and I have a joint CC that we use on purchases together. He does have his own CC from before we were married that he uses for Christmas Gifts, Birthday's and Anniversary gifts etc....He insists the he still be able to surprise me without me knowing. Which is fine with me : ) I do know what his spending is, and it's never become a problem. I disagree with spouses not knowing about existing credit cards. Since your married ultimatley you're responsible too. That I'm not okay with.

1 mom found this helpful

Good afternoon, In answer to your question i think credit cards are a bad idea period. take it from someone who is working to get out of debt. My husband and I have our own debit cards in our own names, we both own a business, we do have a joint savings, your sister should have never had a credit card in secret, my mom did, and then when she died my dad started receiving all these bills for credit cards he did not know she had. I think your husband is right, he might not have said it the right way, but he's right. J.

Updated

Good afternoon, In answer to your question i think credit cards are a bad idea period. take it from someone who is working to get out of debt. My husband and I have our own debit cards in our own names, we both own a business, we do have a joint savings, your sister should have never had a credit card in secret, my mom did, and then when she died my dad started receiving all these bills for credit cards he did not know she had. I think your husband is right, he might not have said it the right way, but he's right. J.

1 mom found this helpful

Long ago, when credit cards first began, I was encouraged to have a card (or two) in my own (female) name. Of course I used our joint income as a base and always asked for a second card in his name. It's not hard to 'max' out a card and better 'credit-wise' to keep it at least below half the credit limit if you cannot pay it off each month. I've learned the hard way spend only what we can pay off each month which is rather tricky when you have growing children and schools who need every supply available.

Did you know that, in California at least, the law says a man is not responsible for anyone's debts but his own but a woman is responsible for her husbands debts... It doesn't seem right!

1 mom found this helpful

I dont have a credit card, my husband does. We use it only in case of emergencies. We do have seperate checking accounts and one joint savings.

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All married persons must maintain credit in their individual names. Joint credit cards are only to help establish one spouse who has weak credit or no credit. Financial credit worthiness is an individual pursuit of responsibility and fitness. The financial strength of a couple is the sum of its parts. The aid of a spouse with stronger credit is helpful to the weaker partner, but all married persons must complete the process of establishing credit in their own name. This is especially important when one spouse has a dangerous job, such as a firefighter or a police officer.

All of my credit cards are in my own name. I am 36 years old with a career. Unless I can not get credit in my own name, I will not have a joint account with my spouse.

Good luck with your sister. She is going to need your support.

1 mom found this helpful

My husband and I have a joint card. I don't think that there is anything wrong with having a personal account, but a part of me wonders why someone would need a personal account except for business. If the opposite spouse is aware of the credit card, and it is fine with him or her, then there is no harm in it. However, if someone is not telling their spouse about this it appears to me that this type of unknown information could leave a lot of room for questions, doubt, etc. and could cause strain in a marriage.

1 mom found this helpful

Me & Hubby have our own credit cards, that we have had even since before we got married. Because, that is our own credit history we built up etc.
We also have a joint account card.
So we have both individual and joint types. Per our uses/needs.
Its fine for us.
Of course, me AND Hubby know fully what accounts we have. We do not keep secrets about our spending or our own accounts.

all the best,
Susan

1 mom found this helpful

All decisions in a livein relationship or marriage should be agreed upon jointly. If no agreement is reached look for outside help but always have your family as the benefitiary of your actions; not yourself. There's nothing wrong with you having a CC in your name as there isn't in not having one. You already enjoy something much more valuable than proving to others that you are right and that you can; a family.
Best to you and yours

1 mom found this helpful

My husband and I have joint cards and we have one each in our own name. The thing is, we know about them. I think hiding it is the thing that leads to problems. The only problem we have had is when I need to call about a problem with his card and they won't let me due to my not being on the account. My husband works 2 jobs--and none at a desk so being on hold for 10 minutes kills his breaktime.

1 mom found this helpful

My hubby and I have been together for 13+ years and I have a Target Card in only my name, that I had before I met him...and he has 1 CC in his name only, that he had before we met.

That is the extent of our CC's...we don't have any more...and we use his for emergencies only and my Target card only has a small limit for "fun shopping"!

I think it is fine to have CC's in your own name, as long as spouse knows about it!

~If I was your BIL I would be SO VERY MAD at your sister!

1 mom found this helpful

We have joint credit cards, and we both have our own credit cards too. We are not secretive about any spending at all. The only time we say "don't look at the statement" is if we buy the other a gift. I don't think there is anything wrong with having your own credit cards, but I do think there is something wrong with spending money on things when the other person doesn't know about it...except if it is a gift for the other person ;-)

1 mom found this helpful

I have 3 cards in my own name. My husband knows about all of them and is aware that they are paid off every month. I have cards in my name in order to keep my credit score high. My husband owns his own business and is very successful and per our prenuptial agreement I'm not financially bound to the business. I keep my credit score independent in case it all goes wrong. If the business fails my assets and credit score are safe. My husband and I don't keep secrets about finances. I keep a spread sheet of all household purchases even if that includes new wonderful bedding that we don't need but I couldn't resist because it was just so soft!! I have a friend who did exactly what your sister did by running her cards up over 30k and then asking everybody to borrow money because she couldn't tell hubby. She's a shopping addict and buys like mad only to feel guilty over what she's done. Then she feels desperate because she's spent money they didn't have but also because she has to expose her foolish behavior. She is somebody who can't manage credit and probably shouldn't have her own card because it's dangerous. I'm a total scrooge so I'm safe because I am so cheap I'd never be able to shop like that...I'd probably explode.
I must add that if I don't have my own CC and/or checking account how can I buy him gifts without him knowing where I got them or how much they cost? My husband checks our joint CC statement almost every day so at birthday time I'd have a hard time surprising him and that's half the fun!

1 mom found this helpful

My husband and I have seperate credit cards. We don't know exactly what the situation is on each, but we both have access to them and can check if we are really curious. We are each responsible for paying our own credit cards, though we do have one with both our names on it, it is 'my' card...
I think that it depends on the family. I do think each should have a good credit score of their own, and should know how and when to pay all the bills. On the other hand, I am not sure I would loan my sister money to pay off a cc... Good luck!
R.

1 mom found this helpful

My husband and I both have our own accounts - bank accounts and credit cards. We also have a joint checking/savings account. We don't have any joint credit cards, but we utilize an online service called Mint.com where you put all of your information and are able to keep all of your finances, budgeting, loans, 401k's, etc. all in one place. It provides a service whereby it will send you emails if you go above your budget in one area or another, or if you go above a specified balance on your credit card.

I like to have a separate bank account/credit card for things like birthdays and Christmas. Also, we have our checks direct deposited into our joint account based on the percentage of what we make, so 60% of my husband's check goes into our joint account and 40% of mine goes in. Whatever is left over goes into our personal accounts to be used for things that we want without having to have a discussion with the other first. We still discuss any item that will be over $100 and if we find our credit cards are above the balance we want, we discuss how to utilize our personal money to pay them off rather than continue to spend.

I think however a couple decides to do it, is whatever works best for them, but there should be total disclosure regardless of what they decide.

We have one joint credit card together. I still have two in my name only that I had before we got married. On one of cards I have, my husband is an 'authorized user' but it is not a joint account.

I want to echo what some of the other moms have said about the importance of having credit cards in your own name. It establishes your own line of credit which you will need if anything ever happened to your spouse. Now, honesty when it comes to purchases and spending...that a whole 'nother matter. Honesty is the best policy.

Good luck.

www.daveramsey.com

We don't have any CCs and haven't in 2 years.