Seeking Weaning Advice

I have no advice because I can't figure out why you are doing this. Obviously you've thought this through. I'm just wondering if it wouldn't make sense to let him nurse for comfort on into the future. Don't get mad - I'm just asking you to think about it again.

I had similar struggles with my daughter at 20 months. She wasn't happy about weaning; but I got pregnant, and it was just too painful to keep nursing. I found being out an about (i.e. outside of our normal routines and nursing spots) was more helpf than trying to distract her at home or with cups, etc. Also, having a partner provide more comfort was critical for us because if it was me, it was all about nursing.

(As an aside, I regret forcing her to wean because she still asks, especially if sick or scared (6 months later), and I wonder if she would stil do this if she had self weaned when ready.)

A.; if you are a stay at home mom or if your not its ok to keep nursing him when he needs it, if he needs the comfort of you he might just need that, after all, we give them what they need, and to just take that away is hard, its also hard to have a young one latched on to you literally for a long time, however, when you do give him the bottle, what is missing ? you are! do you hold him while he has a bottle, take the time to feed him as if you are nursing, hold him as if you are, and then give him a bottle, its ok if he still wants you , that should make you feel good, enjoy the time he does, i know of a mom who nursed for 3 or 4 years because the young one wanted it and expected it, i know a bit long for me too, but in the older days, before bottles were invented, they nursed for longer periods of time, be there for him, when he needs you , he may not need to nurse, but might enjoy you holding him and watching him eat, may be the comfort, nurse if you have to, if you really need to let him go, its ok too, just be there too, enjoy life, and what a wonderful priviledge, to have a young one still wanting to, some of mine left off early and it makes you feel unwanted and you cant do what is right, either way , you are proving to be a good mom, keep up the good work, D. s

Cuddling while feeding him a cup may help a bit... But at some point you will always have those "I want mommy" moments. :-) Its hard... Not only for him, but you also... I weaned all 3 of mine at 1 yr and never had a problem... but then again... The weanings all coincided with my little brother (was 7 yrs old when my oldest weaned, is now 13) would come visit for the summer... They were just way too interested in what Uncle Matt was doing and not Mommy any more. :-) I had it easy... I hope you find something that helps you!!!

I am still nursing my 21 month old son... My daughter weaned at 10 months.. she was so ready to be done.. she never liked nursing and was happier to drink from a bottle..

I havent figured out how to wean him especially now that he can talk.. he says nurse.. and then switch ...

I assume that he will lose interest and then we will be done. He only nurses 3 times a day.. so it is not a big deal.

When they are ready to do things it is so easy... I would suggest waiting till he is ready.

It sounds like you're ready to be done nursing... it certainly has to work for both of you.

With that said, I know my son doesn't do distractions so we've continued nursing and it's working still for both of us. As much as nursing is not for nutrition it has a comforting effect on him and it's kept him from being sick! He's only been sick 2X in 2 years and very very mild sickness.

My son is now more easily distracted and it is easier to hold him off. He doesn't ask as he did before. If you wait a bit longer he will most likely just start to wean on his own.

Some babies it seems wean quite easily while others (my son included) need a lot of helping.

This is such a tough question! I had one that selfweaned at 15 months. I sat down to nurse her one evening and she said "no way mom, put me in bed", put her nuk in her mouth and that was the end of it. What a shocker, I felt SO rejected. My other one held on til she was 3. I tried the baby led weaning "don't offer/don't refuse" method. That was OK until I actually wanted to sit down anytime during the day. I spent alot of time standing up because everytime I sat down she wanted "bits". Finally, I had so little milk that she gave it up. There were no tantrums I guess because it was so gradual. Your little one is still a baby and doesn't get it. My question would be why do you want to wean him? Every drop of breastmlk is beneficial to his health. I can count on one hadn how many illnesses my daughters had TOGETHER. I attribute that to nursing as long as possible. If he wants it for comfort, naps or night time to settle down, what's the hurry...he just wants his mom and the safety and comfort he feels in your arms. Pretty soon he will be pushing you away anyway and be too busy for you...savor it now, they grow up so fast. Love on him!

Hi A.,

Originally I was going to nuse my daughter just for 1 year. But as that year approached, I just couldn't see stopping when it was obvious she wasn't ready. So, I continued.

I let her tell me when she was done. Between 12 months and 18 months she slowly started dropping sessions until we were down to morning and bedtime... and at bedtime I know she wasn't taking very much ... but she was getting something.

It does sound like you are done even if your son isn't finished. But it also sounds like he isn't nursing THAT often. I would suggest trying find a happy medium. Like, allow him to nurse for a bit, but slowly start reducing the time of each session. I tried to tell my daughter when she was done, and it was such a struggle. Finally I realized what she needed was more important than what I wanted.

Shortly after turning 18 months, she gave up her final session .... bedtime. Once I let HER tell me when she was ready to drop sessions, there was no more drama, no more tears and she is perfectly happy to go through her night time routine without nursing.

ANY breastmilk he gets will be beneficial. Also, if he does get a cold, nursing helps keep his ears open. As someone else mentioned, nursing helps keep them healthy. My daughter has been sick twice in her 18 month life. I attribute that in part to extended nursing.

I guess I would just encourage you to look at why you want him to stop. You are a working mom ... he may WANT to nurse longer as a way to stay connected to you. He most likely misses his mama and nursing brings about the wonderful closeness he yearns to have with his mommy. They grow up so fast... don't be in a hurry to rush the next step.

Let him self wean. My daughter self weaned at around 18 months. We were down to 3 times a day, basically before naps and bed, we replaced the nursing with stories and songs and she was just fine. She asked only twice about a week after and I just ignored it and sang to her.

I weaned my daughter around 15 months and we had a few moments like this. It's time for Daddy to step in. When my daughter got worked up like that, she couldn't learn a new way of comfort with me around. Often for us it was the middle of the night or the evening when he was home so it worked out well for us. He had to step in for about a week and then she learned new soothing techniques. Good luck!

Have you considered continuing? I had intended at stopping at one year, but at that point, i just couldn't see how to wean. I read the la leche book about weaning and determined that my daughter wasn't ready. We continued till she was just over two years and had a tear free weaning experience. If you are ready, then you will probably just have to endure the crying to break him--because if he's not ready, no amount of 'techniques' will distract him. I've also heard that it is very difficult to wean between 1 and 2--unlike when they are an infant and weaning to a bottle is much easier. I am not writing to talk you into continuing but sometimes its our culture that pressures us to wean and i just want you to know that many of us believe that it is more than okay to allow the child to determine it. Especially if it is only two or three nursings a day. Have a nursing two year old has many, many advantages. Instant soothing and calming abilities that turn the frustrated toddler into a cuddly, pacified sweetiepie. I do understand if you just want your body back or maybe your husband does...but if there is a part of you that is open to continuing, be sure to do research or hook up with la leche for support and encouragement.

Breast feeding and weaning can be such a hot topic!

It sounds like he may not be as ready to let go of his comfort item as you are. Eventually the mommy needs and wants her body back.

The only successful way I know of is to remove you from the equation. You and your husband need to develop a plan to have you not around for a couple days, especially at times when he REALLY wants to nurse. Dad can't nurse him. Remove one nursing at a time and let him get used to that. When you feel he's secure you remove one more, until you get down to what you need and want.

Good luck. I hope you find something that works for you and your little guy.

I am slowly weaning my 15 month old right now. I prefer that Don't ask Don't refuse method. I try to keep her busy and offer her a cup often. After 3 months we are down to 1 nursing during the night and that is not every night any more.
You can try telling him that he can nurse while you sing a song and then he is all done or count to 10 and then he is done.
With that all said I am also a believer of listening to your childs cues. If he is fighting weaning so much maybe he is not ready to wean yet.
You mentioned that "he is not nursing for nutriton anymore". Every drop of Breast Milk is nutritious so even though it is not his only source of nutrition it is full of antiboties and such!
Bessings, K.