Seeking Social Life

Updated on April 12, 2007
S.P. asks from DeKalb, IL
18 answers

Hello, I am a single mother working full time and going to school, i have absolutely no time to go out and socialize and am wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how to make friends.

2 moms found this helpful

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A.A.

answers from Chicago on

Try to find a local yahoo mom's group, you can chat with women locally, make friends, plan play dates, etc. Trying to make it to a monthly La Leche League or mom's group meeting (like Indianabirthchoices.com) is also a great way to connect.

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C.N.

answers from Chicago on

I am a married and working full time+ and I don't have time to go out and socialize. I haven't found an easy way to make frieds either. just wanted to let you know you are not alone!

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R.T.

answers from Chicago on

Well, you have friends right here! :-)

And I give you a lot of respect - being a single mother must be VERY hard, and sounds like you have your plate FULL. Keep it up, you have my respect. I've been a SAHD for the past two years, and when my wife goes out of town for a week, it gets pretty exhausting.

I moved to the burbs from the city and knew ONE person. I joined his softball team, and that helped. That turned into a Fantasy Football league. But, for the most part, I haven't made that many new friends here in two years.

1. You must get a babysitter - family, or look here or local schools. That will help you to get out of the house.

2. What do you like to do for fun? I read, love movies, sports, etc. So whenever I get the chance I look around to see what is going on - join a book club, join a gym, go to film festivals, etc.

3. I'd also look at your school to see what is going on, as well as trying to befriend the other parents wherever you keep your child. We went to a birthday part via our pre-school, and I met some nice people.

4. If you're looking to date - I once placed an ad in the Chicago Reader, a personal ad, and got about 35 responses. Had some great dates, and met a girl I dated for 3 years, which actually helped me meet my wife. I've heard speed dating is a blast. Be careful online though, lots of jerks. Match.com looked interesting.

You're not going to have much free time, so I'd try to work it around the ONE thing that you absolutely LOVE to do. I'm trying to start an artist's collective here in the Mundelein/Libertyville/VH area, you're welcome to get involved if you enjoy that. It is something that I LOVE to do, the arts (I'm a writer, art director, used to act, classically trained tenor, have curated events in the city, etc.) and it has been a life long dream of mine.

Best of luck. Drop me a line anytime.

Peace,
Richard

2 moms found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from Chicago on

as some of the others have said "Try MeetUp.com" It's a great way to meet people ;)

not sure what area you're in, but I know of a few local playgroups that you may be interested in, just let me know and I can send you the information :)

~L.~

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D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S.,
You sound like me.
Im also a single mom and work full time and Im taking one class a week. Theres a parents group that I used to go on, let me find the link and give it to you. We used to always do get togethers and playdates with the kids. At least it was a way to get out, and bring out the kids.
How old is your child/children?

My son is 3.

Dani

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

hi
well im a mom to two kids and just start to work 9-5 again after almost 1yr. And im always looking to meet other moms and there little ones.
How old is your baby?
w

you can join a moms group, i just meet acouple of moms this weekend, there kids were younger then mine but it was nice to get out of the house and socialize my boys.

well hope to hear from you.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Since you are going to school, maybe you could reach out to other students in your classes for study groups that eventually could turn into social friendships?

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M.

answers from Chicago on

This is a great place to start. I am a working mom, seperated from my husband and have no life. I teach 4th grade, so between my kids at work and kid at home, its just me and them. If you post where you live, people in your area might try to hook up with you, you are not the only non social mom out there by far! Also post what your interests are, that is a great way to make new friends. Like me, I live in the south suburbs, I scrapbook, sew and play volleyball, that is my life besides being mom and teacher.
Good luck

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P.O.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S.- Where do you live? There is an organization called PACES there website is pacesmoms.com. you should check it out.

P.

N.P.

answers from Chicago on

I HIGHLY recommend Meetup.com to find some groups with your interests. I am a stay at home mom of twins and we just moved to a new town. I feel like I barely have any friends anymore and those that do... losing our common interests. I'm really only when I go grocery shopping or other family errands. I am trying to get into a Moms Club more but it can be hard. Yahoo Groups might also be an option too. Chin up!

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H.D.

answers from San Francisco on

This is a great place to make friends. =) I have made two WONDERFUL friends here with whom I email, IM and visit with when our schedules work out. Try and plan an evening that is JUST yours. I know babysitting is expensive but your time to be YOU is important too. Even if all you do is go have a cup of coffee, walk the mall or visit with someone. The beauty of computers is that it lets you stay in contact with people, even if you have to do emails at 2am. =) It can be done!

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H.

answers from Chicago on

How about a local church? Free babysitting for the kids during the service, and they usually have great activities during Sunday School. It sounds like you could really use some supernatural help with so many jobs to do, too! Many of them have other social groups to get involved in based on your age and marital status. You might try a few different churches on Sunday a.m. You can usually get a feel for what style of church you are comfortable with in the first service or two before you decide where to get more involved. Let me know if you would like some recommendations.

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L.L.

answers from Chicago on

Hello S.,
Sounds like the same problem I have(except I'm married). I am looking for a good way to make friends also; perhaps we can get something started, I have a fews girlfriends and we try to meet a least once a month so some kind of event(exp., spa day, dinner outing, etc.,) But our schedule seem to clash all the time.
I really think it's important though to have that time, perhaps we can come up with some solutions and add a couple of other ladies who can really commit. I have alot of suggestions for activities.
Let me know.

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N.D.

answers from Chicago on

I also work full time, and in between running the house, caring for my daughter, and work, I have no real friends. The friends I used to have, I have drifted apart from them...they're unmarried without kids and I'm in a different bracket...other friends I have stopped calling because they never did their part to call me, or would only call if they needed advice or wanted something, not to ask how I am or care what is going on with me...
I have joined meetup.com and met some nice people through there, but because of my full time work schedule, I can't attend playgroups often and their meetup places are far (there's no meetup for moms in my area)
The biggest problem with me...I'm shy. I am introverted partly because I'm insecure I guess...I'm hard of hearing and have grown up in deaf schools, so it's been a struggle all my life to 'fit in'...
I feel so sad when I see other people hanging with friends to go to malls, movies, etc. Hopefully when my daughter starts preschool I will meet more moms...
good luck and know you are not the only one!

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

try meetup.com to find people in your area with similar interest and lifestyles.

Another great site to meet moms is lakecountymoms.com

Lots of great people.

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S.~
I am a stay at home mom of 2 kids, and it isn't easy for me either--especially since the only time I'm really out is when I go grocery shopping or drop my son off at preschool or something like that, so I feel for you. I am almost 25, and I have a 6 week baby girl, and a 4 year old boy, so if this is similar to your situation at all, feel free to shoot me an email.
~J.~

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J.B.

answers from Chicago on

I'm a single mom of 2 boys so I understand how you feel. I'm not sure where you are located at but here is a website for single parents, they plan different activities both fmaily oriented and just "adult" nights as well, if getting a sitter is an option. http://www.youngsingleparents.org

I'm in the Arlington Heigths area send me a message back, I'm always looking to make friends.

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M.C.

answers from Chicago on

hello S. P
i wondering how i could make friends too. Good friend to talk to.

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