Seeking Other Moms Who May Have Had Memory Loss

You are not alone, but you are not abnormal either.

Some of the biggest stealers of memory are:

- stress (your move, parent of young kids, etc.)
- sleep deprivation (you are the mom of a 1-year-old)
- hormonal disruptions (you are the mom of a 1-year-old)
- busy-ness (clearly you have a lot going on, more than the average person since your older child has an autism issue)

Some of this you can't do anything about. Some of it you can!

I made more space in my brain by finding an organizer that actually works for me and writing everything down--dumping all those logistical details out of my head.

I got some sanity back by swallowing my ego and saying YES to opportunities to nap. Keep "the goose" healthy and it will keep "laying golden eggs!"

And don't be fooled by the false economy of multitasking. Brain science shows that we don't actually focus on multiple things at once, no matter how well we think we are. The brain is good at switching quickly from one focus to another, but not at holding a focus on multiple things at once. It's simply not built that way. Studies show that multitasking makes things take longer and they aren't done as well.

Also, I have been forcing myself to make short diary entries just before I fall asleep. You might write things like, "Had lunch with Sheila today. We talked about books and gave each other recommendations. We agreed that I'd read X and she'd read Y and we'd set up another lunch next month to share our opinions."

Finally, remember that you are in a new place, so you will be meeting a lot of new people, yet have less "context" than usual to place them in. Give yourself a break and don't panic!

Hey K.,

I was just thinking about this last night!! I have a six month old and a 12 year old. I'm a grad student in public health and my husband is nearly finished with medical school. We were at a luncheon yesterday for my older son and I was having a conversation with another couple but I found I couldn't even concentrate on what they were saying. I was worried that I would be asking them the same questions. This happens to me quite a bit- forgetting names of people I've known, forgetting facts about people I've talked with several times before (like what they do for jobs, where they live, etc). I also have a recurring phobia about leaving my baby in the car when I go somewhere (or leaving him at home). Sometimes I have to physically look in his carseat so I know that I haven't left him somewhere!!! I know it's crazy, but I also know that I'm terribly sleep deprived. It's annoying but I'm not too worried about it right now. I make myself really pay attention when I am having adult conversations and I try and use mental notes when people tell me things about themselves. I've also found that when I'm really engaged in the conversation, it helps me remember things much better than if I'm thinking about what the baby is doing, etc. Good luck!!!

K.-

You don't mention how old you are. Unfortunately, we women are the happy recipients of hormonal fluxuations some of which effect memory. Both stress and aging can greatly effect these hormones and therefore our memories-- especially short term. Simple things like word recall (and I'm not talking elegant words, sometimes I have trouble calling to mind the easy words like "book!")and what you were in teh middle of can disappear into thin air.

The good news is that: you sre unlikely to forget something big like your kiddos; AND it's normal.

I don't know how to fix the problem. I have been taking high dose vitamin supplements, with minimal results. When the issue is aging (40+) the doctors often suggest hormaone replacement. I'm not willing to go that route yet.

I use a LOT of lists and other "memory keepers". It is very frustrating, but then again it is a part of life.

Good luck!