Seeking Dating Advice!

You should try EHarmony.com. My son is in high school and I have bought several Christian dating advice books for him to read. One that I bought is "Date or Soulmate". I read the book first and it was great advice and I would loved to have read it when I was his age. It is written by the guy who started eharmony. Eharmony has you fill out a very extensive questionaire that really looks at what is most important to you, then they give you several matches. My cousin is 48 and he used eharmony and has been very happy with the woman he met for over a year now. The best place to find a great guy is in church, not a bar. Our church, Parkview Christian Church in Orland Park, has a singles group you should check out.

I once read somewhere that the best way to find a mate is to call everyone you know and ask them to fix you up with someone they think you will get along with.That way you have some backround and something in common. also try coffee or lunch so you don't waste alot of time if you don't feel a connection. Good luck!

Hi J.,
It's awesome that you have put your focus on raising your daughter instead focusing on dating. Family is just as important as finding a soul mate. Yes, you're right, dating isn't as safe as it was years ago, but I must say that with faith all things are possible. First, it's okay to want to date again and to have that special person in your life. First, I believe one should be complete before considering to date. When a person is complete, he or she has confidence in self, true and doesn’t boast or brag, has the ability to love and trust, has a heart of compassion, finances are in order, and know what they want out of life and a relationship. I know that’s a lot to ponder, but if you’re seeking the same, don’t you feel it’s only fair to give the same? You’re to be a help not a hinder and from what I understand, you want a good man who is faithful and true. That's a good thing but most importantly pray for a mate and while you are waiting, be true to who you are, showing love and always have a kind word to say because you never know who might be checking you out.

Stick to you morals and values and don't change. If you don't want to internet date then don't. I your heart say it's not good then don't let others persuade you to change because they've found it to be good for them. I believe if you're consistent and persistent in what you want, don't stop believing for the ideal person you want. Good men are out there, but you must be patient and true love will come.

"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour of the Lord." (Proverbs 18:22)

I hope that I've been a help to you.

Be Blessed!
M.

I have a soon to be 70 year old father in law who is in the same position. While the two of you are in totally different age brackets, I can sympathize. My advice is to get some friends together & do things this summer that you enjoy - with hopes of meeting someone else. Check out local bands, go to sporting events & hit the beach. You would be surprised at who you meet! I met someone at the zoo last year who happened to be single & taking his daughter for a zoo day. Our kids clicked, even though we didn't, but it made the day easier having another adult to talk to. You've got to put yourself out there & keep yourself out there... and don't be shy about scraping up conversation with people! Good Luck!

You might try at a new church. Consider trying out different churches to find one that has people your age. Does not guarantee that they are not scammers, or without other issues, but I know a number of newer singles from divorces in my church who have found relationships this way. Good luck, and the other replies sounded good too.

Hi J.,

I feel your pain. I got involved with internet dating and come across the romance scam too. He said he was from London. He didn't get anything out of me but he tried. Before that, I met maybe 4 or 5 guys and 4 out of 5 were desperate. They wanted a wife like yesterday. One guy was ok, but all he talked about was sex (which he didn't get) so that faded away. One suggestion would be WineStyles. They have wine tastings and it may be a decent way to meet someone. I am now dating someone I met 6 years ago (during my divorce) in a real estate brokers class. We've kept in touch on and off and he's been married and divorced within the last couple of years; and to top it off, he moved to Detroit. Just keep your eyes open. He may be at the grocery store or departement store or someplace that you frequent. Good luck and best wishes.

I am a single mother of 2 and will be 40 this year. I am dating a great guy that I knew years ago. My suggestion to you is to make a point to talk to people you come in contact with. Like at the gym, sporting events, grocery store etc. Start looking at people and making eye contact and saying "hello" or starting a conversation. I made this change in myself after my divorce and have met some nice people (male and female) that I would not have met otherwise. I decided life is to short and I "turned over a new leaf" and started being more social. It is easy to do, just start at a place you are familiar with. For me it was at the gym. I never really spoke to people, I just went in and did my work out and left. Now, I say hi to people I see on a daily basis and sometimes have a conversation with them. Try to meet some one that has an interest that you do, it will make it much easier to start a conversation. Do you belong to a gym, church, club? Make plans with a group of friends for dinner, dancing, wine tasting, sport event...you get the picture. When you are there, see how many new people you can meet or talk to. It can be fun and you never know who you will meet. Not to mention, they may have a friend that you get introduced to as well. Good luck and have fun!

J. I don't know how to say this other than being straight forward,the Bible says he that finds a wife finds a good thing,in other words you shouldn't be looking for a man, let him find you. If you and your daughter aren't in church start now and seek GOD whole heartedly and what's meant to happen will happen if your focus is on GOD and not a man.Best wishes.