Question for My Brother

A good friend of mine just started using online dating. She started out on the plenty of fish website and realized that most guys wanted a booty-call and others were ready to marry after the first date. But since it was really her first time dating, it was a good starting point for her.

She then signed up on CatholicMatch.com. She debated between that and eHarmony but chose Catholic Match because she realized she wanted a catholic husband. She met a guy about a month ago and they are "PERFECT" for each other!!

I met my husband online through Yahoo about 10 years ago when meeting people online was just starting. I have to say that paying for sites like my friend did is probably the better way to go....people on there seem to be more "serious" about a relationship and not just wanting a one-nighter, etc.

Best of luck to him! And as another mom stated...he won't know if its for him until he tries!!

My stepdaughter and her hubby met on eharmony or something like it. they have been happily married for 5 years now.

He'll never know til he tries, right?

I know a few people who have met online and I know a few people who have met some real oddballs. Your brother sounds like a nice guy with a good head on his shoulders so he should be able to differentiate the gems from the turkeys!

I know multiple married couples that have met on eHarmony. I always say, if I ever have to re-enter the dating world it would be online. I did have a friend that did eHarmony and did like it. What he didn't like about it was that you have to answer so many questions up front that you almost miss the getting to know you part of dating because by the time you get to your first date you already know everything about the other person. Google: Things to Do. When I was in DC and I think there is one here in Dallas, it's a website for singles to get together and do group activities. Everything from catching a show to bungee jumping.

My husband and I are an eHarmony success story and I highly recommend it! I tried several over the years and found that the free websites don't work because you'll always have the players, married people and plain old weirdos looking for a hook-up. Having to pay means he'll weed out all those losers and only get those people who are truly looking for a mate. You can make your search as specific as you want - like by religion or location - and I feel that their compatibility thing is dead on. My husband and I go together like peanut butter and jelly. LOL Seriously, he's nothing like what I would consider "my type" in looks but personality-wise we're a perfect match. We've been together three years, married for 1 1/2 years of that and I couldn't be happier. Also, my advice to him is that if he chooses to do something like eHarmony - give everyone the benefit of the doubt when it matches him with someone. Like I said, my husband is nothing like any guy I had ever gone out with. If I had let my inner voice tell me to skip his introduction because he looked goofy, we would never have met. I ignored it and voila! He's perfect and yes, still goofy. :)

My youngest son is also 30, adorable and unmarried. He met a girl about 10 months ago on J date. They have been going out steadily for the past 10 months and have been extremely happy. They just moved in together. One of my other son's friends married a girl he met on J date. they seem to be very happy too. give it a try..what do you have to lose?? Just be careful on your first date..don't take her back to your ap't so soon! Get to know the person first, get to know her personality! Good luck to your brother!!

My brother met his wife on eharmony been married 5 yrs now very happy

I have not done the online dating service. I met my husband at a Scottish Dancing class. We've been married for 12 years. I always tell people to find something that they are interested in that might be a little "quirky" and take a class in it. That way, you meet people who have a common interest, who also share a bit of your "quirkyness". Not a guarantee, but less of an "on the prowl" situation. I wouldn't go into it "looking" for someone, but the more people you meet that share your interests/attitudes, the better :) Hope he meets someone nice.

Okay typed a post and accidentally hit back, too lazy to retype. In a nutshell they don't work. Sometimes people get lucky but those people tend to be the kind of people that would find someone without the service. Unfortunately most on the sites are either looking for FWB, hook ups, or are so messed up no one would date them.

The message board for eHarmony is advice.eharmony.com. There you will find the wisdom of those that have dated for years on those sites without success. Now mind you they have rules such as neither person should be the first to call after a first date because it makes you look desperate and you must always be in control. (yes I get that means neither calls but as much as I pointed that out they didn't see the logic in my statement) The woman must offer to pay but that means they are going to dump him. If the woman offers to pay the guy will dump her because she is going to dump him anyway, if she doesn't offer he will dump her anyway because she is meal dating.

The other thing is those that posted from small towns reported that they had to drive over two hours to date on those sites because there really aren't dates in their town.

What I am saying is the only way they work is if you happen to be matched up with someone who is not effed up by the process already. From what I can tell there are ten of them on the whole site. :p

I know alot of people that have had luck with www.plentyoffish.com (or www.pof.com for short). It's free, so it's a place to start to see if online dating is for him. It asks you some basic questions so people can see where you stand & you can see where they stand on things like smoking, drinking, kids, relationship status (single - never married, divorced, etc.). I know it also has you fill out profile where you rate how important certain things are to you. Anyways, it's alot like the ones you pay for, it's not like a facebook where your just saying hey, I'm single...it's just honestly FREE.

I met my hubby of 7 years on match.com. We are a great fit. I definitely suggest that you encourage your brother to do the online dating thing for one solid year. He'll meet all kinds of people. There are many people who are too busy with the traditional dating scene (which by the way, is old school), the internet dating thing is the way to go nowadays.

M.

I know 2 different couples who got married in the past 5 years. One is a younger, hip couple who met on e-Harmony. They emailed for a few months before meeting, started dating and got married a couple of months ago after a year long engagement.

the other couple- the man was a friend of my ex-husband's. A quiet. shy guy- always super nice once you got to know him, liked kids, etc. Not bad looking, but going bald and a little pudgy around the middle- just not one to stand out in a crowd, you know? He had a good career as a consultant and a really nice house, since he worked a lot from home. In his spare time, he liked to fix up old pinball machines.

his sister convinced him to sign up for Yahoo Personals. Amazing- under common interests, a woman turned up who had worked as a bookkeeper at a pinball machine company! They started to date- got married about a year and a half later and now are trying to have a baby!

Lots of people meet this way now. It helps screen out bad blind dates and for a shy or quiet person, getting to know someone through emails or phone calls FIRST can be really great. There is someone out there for everyone- but the likelihood that your brother will just run into them in his hometown isn't good. A personals site opens it up to a much bigger group of potential people to date. Give it a try and good luck to him! :) So many good guys just go begging because they don't stand out at first- he needs a chance for someone to get to know his terrific qualities!

my sis used a similar service....something locally for St Louis....& had fun with it. I wish him well.....my 23y.o. son is in the same situation: all the good girls are either married or gone from our small town!

One of our unmarried bachelor friends found someone on Match.com about 6 months ago and they are happily in love. Although, I have heard that Match.com is the most "booty call" -ish of all of the dating sites (from people we know who use that site). If I were going to try to use a dating site, I think I would personally choose EHarmony because it looks like it's more for people who are serious about finding someone to settle down with, versus hooking up. I like that EHarmony tries to put together compatible people.

I met my husband online, and I'd recommend it. I joined mostly because I felt the same as your brother - no good guys are out there. I got a few strange messages here and there, but most people were just like me - trying to find someone to spend the rest of their lives with. My husband lived in Oklahoma and I lived in St. Louis, so I felt "safe" chatting and calling him at first. This really built a foundation for our relationship because we knew we were attracted to the personality of the person and not merely the physical (because we hadn't seen each other except for a few pictures).

We eventually moved here and we got married. We now have 2 kiddos and love to share our story. :) We met on relationships.com (now it's called Christianmingle.com, I think.) and it's a site for Christian singles. The site doesn't match you with others, but it does show levels of compatibility, so you have a little more freedom to look around and choose who to contact.

Tell him to go for it. The worst that could happen would be he doesn't find anyone - which puts him no worse than where he's at now.

We know several couples who met on Match.com who are now married. Two are Harvard graduates!

My daughter is currently dating a man she believes she will marry, who she met on eharmony. She has a good friend who married a man she met through Match.com (they are happy and have one child, now). My daughter says that eharmony is better (for serious relationships) than Match.com, but I'm sure others will tell you that isn't true. If your brother is interested, it's certainly worth a shot.

I have a very good friend who met her long term boyfriend over a year ago on OKcupid.com. It's free, so you have to discriminate when dealing with people on there. However, my friend says it's not any different than the paid sites, as far as weeding out the bad apples.
On the other hand, I have two friends who met on eHarmony and are now married. I say try the free sites first. If nothing comes of it, then try the paid.