Seeking Advice for My Six Year Old Daughter

Updated on November 04, 2008
P.M. asks from Romeoville, IL
9 answers

Hello Ladies,

I a concerned for my 1st grader. I work with her at home and she does a very good job, but at times she gets distracted. When she is in school it is the opposite. She does not do the work as she does at home and I don't understand it. She is below in concepts, beginning reading, and basic counting and writing her numbers to 100. She is very smart and healthy, but she is behind in her work and I am now worried. She is above average verbally and in conversation, but she is struggling and I need to do something. I know that she can do the work, because she does it at home. I have two other daughters 12 and 8 and I have not had this issue with either one of them, so I feel a bit lost.

I need to put something in place for her at this prime stage of her learning. I will be getting her evaluated by her Dr, per her teachers suggestion. I just wanted to see if anyone of you had some information on a cost effective tutoring program. I looked into sylvans, but they are a bit out of my price range. They have a good setup, but not something that I can afford right now. I want to help my child, it is heartbreaking to see her like this. I don't want things to get worse or for her to be held back. Please if you have some suggestions I will be very grateful. Thanks so much for you help.

P.

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K.V.

answers from Chicago on

I know a very bright tutor - her name is Tika Haake and she owns CarpeDiem Academics. They tutor one-on-one and have competitive prices. The phone number is ###-###-####. Good luck!

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L.I.

answers from Chicago on

P., I am a school nurse for a large school district. My advise would be to wait and see what your pediatrician has to say. Did the school give you any questionnaires that they completed or for you to complete? You may want to ask them if they could give you something to take to the doctor to give him/her a picture of how she is at school from the teacher's perspective. It's possible that she has some attentional concerns. She can easily focus when the situation in one-on-one, but has difficulty staying on task in a large group, becoming easily distracted. Good luck

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

have her hearing and eyes checked FIRST. If she has any bit of problem with either of those you wouldn't notice it at home in the quiet environment or the close up work. You may find that is all that is the problem.

I have a friend who's daughter was found to be partially deaf half way through kindergarten and she needed an amplifier so she could really hear what the teacher was saying, the teacher wears a microphone and it transmits to headphones (like ipod ones) that the child wears. Think about it, if she can't hear the teacher all the way how is she going to ever know what is being asked of her?

I bet it's something like this since you said she can do it at home.

N.

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L.H.

answers from Chicago on

Children who are easily distracted in a large group usually do well at home with less distractions. Did your school district give you a survey to complete? Did they send one from the teacher? ADD is not determined by a medical test, but the distraction part is hard for a doctor to assess without data. Think about it...is she going to be quiet with the doctor? Probably. I would work on the attentive part before I invest in tutors. Most ADD kids are above average intelligence. Age and youth can affect her performance also. Being young is harder. If the doctor offers medicine, I encourage you to try it for a month and see. Many of the behaviors associated with ADD/ADHD can cause kids to annoy their classmates down the line, and you don't want her to have social difficulties. As a nurse, I'm sure you know that most ADD meds are similar to caffeine, and allow kids to focus better. They are also secreted out of the system in a few hours, so you can just have her take it for school, and then rebound back at home. Good luck!

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A.G.

answers from Chicago on

A lot of times through the school district itself they have programs/resources available. First...breathe...get her assessed, and then see what needs to be done. The facct that she is doing her work at home shows she has the capability, and is bright and intelligent. Also, is she in first grade or in kindergarten? My son will be six on Saturday, and I just had my first parent teacher conference ever today. His teacher explained to me that to pass kindergarten they need to be at a 70% or above at the end of the year,at this point they just need to be around 30%. I beleive this standard is state wide, although I could be wrong on that, and if she is already in first grade, the expectations may be different. It's just that you mentioned some of the same things that my son is learning right now so I thought I'd throw that out there. Mine is having trouble mostly with fine motor skills due to being a lefty, so we are just going to have to work on it more. Perhaps your daughter gets distracted easily at school...maybe day dreams. I'll tell you...because I will never forget this...when I was in first grade I did horribly...I just refused to do my work according to my teachers (which isn't completely untrue), well, after several meetings with my parents it was discovered that I had been drawing on the backs of all of my school work for months (which the teacher either didn't notice, or failed to mention that fact to my parents until later in the game). My point here is make sure you are getting the complete story from the teacher, get an assesment, and go with your gut. She could just be day dreaming, or maybe it is something like dyslexia...which is very common and something that can be worked with once there is a diagnosis. I had a co worker whose son had a lot of behavioral issues in addition to not completeing his work, etc. Well, by the time this kid was in fourth grade they were at their wits end with him, and so was he. They had misdiagnosed him with ADHD and had had him on Ritilin for years with no improvement (well, duh it's a stimulant, and he didn't need, so it made him act nuts). Turned out the kid is dyslexic. THey weened him off his meds, got him some turoring and is like a new kid. Not only were his parents relieved, so was he, because he was finally able to understand why he couldn't do things. Make sure they do not jump to the ADHD conclusion...schools are quick to label kids who do not fit the mold. I am sure everything will work out one way or the other, and I hope this helps give you some perspective. Kids are so different at school than at home...mine is wel behaved, and tries hard at school, at home...well let's just say we are working on it :)

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L.S.

answers from Chicago on

I don't know if all school districts work the same but my son was having a difficult time with reading and other subjects when he was in 1st grade....so the school put him in a group called reading support. He still couldn't really read even with that help...so I spoke with a special ed teacher that summer and she encouraged me to ask for an evaluation of my son at the beginning of 2nd grade and he was found to have a learning disability. If I had not requested the evaluation they would have waited till 3rd grade to do one. Our school system would have wasted another year before they would have done anything. So, demand that the school do testing on your daughter. She also might have ADHD and I have a son who has that also. He did fine in school till 7th grade and his grades started to decline. We worked with the school for a whole year trying to help him get organized and it just didn't work. Then at the end of 7th grade we put him on Adderall an ADHD medication and it did the trick. His grades popped right back and he could focus in school again. He is in high school now and on the honor roll. Good luck, keep trying to help your daughter she needs you fighting for her.
I always hired a tutor in the summer months for my son who has the learning disability, it helped him not fall behind in the summer. He is in high school and also on the honor roll.

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M.V.

answers from Chicago on

Hi P.,

My son had the same problems in 1st grade. For the entire year he was in our school's reading assistance program which is extra reading time in small groups for small periods of time each day. He was behind in math skills and lacked focus. He tended to be more chatty and easily distracted than many of the other children. We were so surprised to find him having trouble in school, since, like your daughter, he was always very verbal, very bright, great vocabulary and good reasoning skills.

Last year when speaking with his teachers and worrying about his progress, one of his teachers pointed out that he's one of the youngest in his class. It also sounds like your daughter might be, as she's a 6 year old 1st grader? His teacher suggested that his lack of focus could very well be an issue of maturity, but of course working with him at home to help him try to stay on task would be beneficial. We did have his vision checked and found no problems, so we just worked with him and decided to take the "wait and see" approach. I did look into Sylvan at the end of the year for math but decided to work with him over the summer on my own instead.

Now, in second grade, he's an excellent reader and speller. He is still a bit slow in math. He's on target in most skills, but needs extra practice with a few. I notice that he's learning to focus on his work more and more, and I really do believe that an extra year has helped him. His second grade teacher has encouraged flash card use for math facts, which is helping tremendously. You can also get number recognition flash cards. We also used to practice counting while driving here and there in the car.

Good luck with the doctor appointment. Try not to worry too much, though I know how difficult that is! If she's a bright girl, things will fall into place. Sounds like you're taking the right steps, and you may just find she needs to grow into school a bit more. I would check with your school on extra help or tutoring before you sign on for a program like Sylvan. Sometimes teachers work with students on their own time after school hours as well. Good luck to you!

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K.C.

answers from Chicago on

P., you might want to ask your school district. My sister had both of her children tutotered by a district teacher, at a extra cost of course. Good Luck

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S.K.

answers from Chicago on

First I would ask if there is something going on in school that bothers her. I would ask the teacher as well. Maybe she's too social or has problems with other kids... I'm sure they can put her in a reading program in school. How is her eyesight? I would let her read to you as much as possible. Ask questions to see if she is comprehending (her ability to recap and how the story made her feel). I would look for some math game websites on line or at the library that she could play. Good luck.

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