Screaming Kid

Updated on November 25, 2008
L.W. asks from Saint Paul, MN
17 answers

Within the last week, my child will not stop screaming when he is not eating or being held. If I stop to put him down, even just long enough to use the restroom, he screams at the top of his lungs. It has even gotten bad enough that he will wake from a deep sleep in the car and start screaming if I am stopped at a red light. I am at a loss as far as what to do. Please help!

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So What Happened?

A big thank you to everyone who replied! About a week before Andrew started his constant screaming, we changed to the generic "equivelant" of his formula. So, we switched back as of four days ago, and he is a completely different baby. It turns out he has a bit of lactose intolerance and can't handle a full lactose formula. He was really constipated. Things have really turned around, but it was you guys who really let me know that I was not going crazy. So THANK YOU!

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would take him to a doctor to see if he has an ear infection or anything else going on. Next, a chiropractor has helped many babies. After that, he just wants his Mom.

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter is 7wks old doing the exact same thing. I don't think it's normal because my first child wasn't like this at all.

She has to be held ALL the time and usually only wants me, if we go to the mall or something she will scream in her carseat/stroller so I have to carry her. I know the car routine she hollers for 30min. straight sometimes in the backseat. I thought she had colic but I don't think so she's not very gassy and has not a spitter upper.

I think my daughter fights sleep alot and that is her main problem.

Here's some things that have worked for me:
baby carrier or sling (i use baby bjorn)
pacifier
being wrapped tight and bundeled
take a bath in the regular tub with mom

My daughter was also waking up a million times a night like 5+ times so we put her in bed with us not the safest but being sleep deprived isnt safe either. Now she sleeps like a queen.

We bought all these exspensive swings, bouncy chairs, and she has no interest in it again screams. She won't even lay on the floor and stretch or do tummy time.

We call our daughter high maintance and have no idea if this is a phase, her peronsonality or if she's gonna outgrow this.

I wish you luck and am in the same boat. If you have to put your little guy in his crib and walk away for a few minutes and take a break.

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't mean to alarm you, but your newborn son is utterly and completely.... NORMAL.

Think about it: his vision is fuzzy, he's trying to figure out what all this out-of-the-womb nonsense is about, you're warm and cuddly, and he has no idea where you're going when you leave the room. Why wouldn't he cry? Babies cry, some a lot more than others.

Buy a comfortable baby sling that you can wear around the house. (No, I'm not going to tell you to wear it in the restroom! Your son will just have to cry for a minute or two.) Make sure you get out of the house a little bit each week without your son, even if it's for an hour or two, so you don't get overwhelmed.

As for waking up when the car is at a stop sign, again, he has no idea what's going all. All he knows is he was enjoying a soothing motion that helped him go to sleep, and hey, wait a second, why did it stop? And why am I facing the rear of the car? And where is MY MOM?? I can't see her!

I think when your son is a little older, you could certainly let him fuss a bit on his own, and see if he can be entertained by crib toys or a play gym. But for now, in my opinion, he just needs you. Stay sane.

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C.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son did the same thing @ 4 weeks old. I took him to his Dr. and she put him on Ranitidine (Zantac) in case his fussiness was being caused by reflux. Within 2 days he did almost a complete 180! Ever since, he has been a much happier and calmer baby. (He is 4 months old now). Does your son spit up a lot, or hate being on his back? Mine did, and to this day is a tummy sleeper. My son also had a tendency to projectile vomit sometimes after feedings. Good luck! I'd take him to the doctor just in case.
C.

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S.H.

answers from Green Bay on

Hi L.,
Infants do naturally want to be held. I used a baby carrier a lot and that helped. I do know some people have used a baby swing. We did practice attatchment parenting and our son slept with us.
Best of luck,
S.
homeschool mom and home business owner

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J.B.

answers from Rapid City on

Here a just a ocuple of ideas - see if they might work for you.

1. Try Mylicon Drops (gas drops, sold in the infant section of most department or drug stores) - my daughter cried and cried until we discovered these drops - they help your child's tummy settle if they're gassy
2. Maybe try swaddling or wrapping baby tightly in a blanket
3. Invest in a baby carrier that you can wear, they make many styles (some are like a backpack that you wear in the front, others are like a sling that goes over one shoulder and around your back)
4. White noise - vacuum, static radio station, fan, etc. may distract him or help him stay asleep
5. Try playing a game where you set him down and pick him back up - quickly at first and then for gradually longer periods of time - laugh and smile and remind him that mommy is right there - you might have to start with 2 seconds and work up to 1 minute, then 5 minutes, etc...

Good luck - this is a really difficult time when a child is so young and can't tell you what's wrong! You're not alone - we've all been there, and you'll make it through. Find a trustworthy friend or family member who might be willing to watch him for a little bit even so you can just take a walk, run an errand, or whatever, just get a little time to yourself and away from the crying to keep your sanity! You're doing a great job!!

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C.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

First priority for baby is being held for the first 3 months. Really they are born not fully developed. Their little bodies and brains still need to be in arms to buoy up their physiology and brain development. Sensory integration disorder may be an issue, but holding will help stabilize him in any case.

If holding your baby doesn't resolve screaming, then ear infection should be checked out. IF this is ok, your baby may have food sensitivities, allergies or reactions to vaccines. You may want to visit a good pediatric homeopathist or chiropractor to help your child.

Providing sensori-motor integration to children from newborn through school age, C. ____@____.com

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter was the same way. I held her all the time! Getting a sling was a lifesaver, I could do things with her right next to me. Lots of people told me to just put her down and let her cry, but I couldn't do it. I figured she had to be crying for a reason, even if the reason was that she wanted to be with mom! To give you some hope, my daughter is now 8 months old and plays on the floor with her toys all the time. And I miss the cuddling we used to do!! For the car, we got a portable DVD player from ebay, and play baby einstein for her. Just to rule out anything medical, I would take him to the ped. Good luck & remember that it will pass!

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

L.
Please do take the time to check the book, "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. There is also a video. However, if you can spare the time it is helpful to have the knowledge behind the why and how to.
Basically Karp emphasizes the 5 S's. Swaddle, Side (hold baby on side or stomach), Shhhh (shush in your baby's ear, you have to be close so he can hear you), Swing (or rock in your arms), Suck (if needed, the icing on the cake).
This was a miracle for our little guy.
http://www.thehappiestbaby.com/
L., you can do it. Watch YOUR mental health. Have a neighbor sit with the baby so you can go outside and simply walk to the corner and back. Hugs and prayers.
K.

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J.O.

answers from Wausau on

My son was that way too- could not put him down, EVER. Have your son checked for acid reflux, and consider cutting ALL dairy from his diet (yours to if you are breastfeeding) to see if he is lactose intolerant. My son had both. (He is still lactose intolerant). Cutting all dairy was a miracle cure for my son.
I feel your pain. All the screaming is enough to drive you crazy. <<<HUGS>>>

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A.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter was a very fussy baby but she loved the sound of the vacuum, after burning the motor out on ours from using it so much, we got a cd called Grandma's Fussbusters and put it on repeat on the vacuum track when we wanted her to calm down or go to sleep. we even used it in the car when needed. Good luck, it WILL get better!

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A.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Try taking him to a chiropractor. Call around and see if there are any that specialized in pediatrics, but most will at least look at your child. I have been taking my kids to the chiro since they were babies for ear infections and other unexplainable aches and pains. It has really helped.

Also, check out The Baby Book by Sears and Sears. They have a lot of good tips in there, about everything. It was my bible.

Check out information on Sensory Integration Disorder. Your son may just be overwhelmed with all the sensory input and is not able to deal with it. We all have it to some degree, some just worse than others to the point of a disorder. I'm not sure what to recommend for a baby. We did not hear about it until age 5.

Trust your gut. If everyone else is telling you not to do it, but you want to try something and it works for you, then do it. Your babies are only little for so long (how many times have we heard THAT one!) and you need to be the parent to your own particular child with all of his individual needs.

Okay, hope this helps. I tend to ramble.

K.L.

answers from Milwaukee on

have you had his ears checked?? if there is an infection that could be the cause of his screaming!!

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D.D.

answers from Sioux Falls on

L.,
It sounds like your baby has either colic, or ear infection. I was told by our doctor that being still is very hard for a little one with either of those issues. I would make an appt. asap to be assured there isn't something going on.

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

this is ok, and probably normal for a baby so tiny! they have a NEED to be physically connected to you as much as possible, and though that may seem to be an exhausting thing to think about, it is actually in your best interests to fulfill the need.
get a sling, i highly recommend the moby wrap its SO comfortable... and use it as often as you can.

www.askdrsears.com is a fantastic website - all of dr sears's books are fantastic. i highly recommend that you check it out and take the information he gives to heart. i trust that dr sears with my life, and the life of my son. :D
anyway, just make sure that you do your best (what mom doesnt) to follow your heart, not the advice of others, especially when that advice goes against your instincts. just use your instincts, they are the most important skill you have! :D

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D.R.

answers from Sheboygan on

Call the pediatrician. He may be sick - maybe an ear infection or something like that.

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A.P.

answers from Omaha on

My first kid was like that, when you stop they scream. maybe you aren't giving the baby enough alone time and so he's gotten held a lot and doesn't want to be put down. I don't recommend just going cold turkey and to stop holdling him, he will get over it eventually and you will be able to get stuff done. do what you have to do like going to the bathroom and let him scream. Have someone else hold him while you get some other things done. I would give it a month or two and then he will probably want floor time and he will become independent and it won't be a problem, just don't let it go on too long or you will constantly be holding him for a long time. I bet your dr would have some good advice!

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