51 answers

Help!! My 3 Month Old Baby Wants to Be Held All the Time.

I have a 3 month old baby girl and literally cant put her down for a second because she starts crying. I can't get anything done with her. Any suggestions on what to do to break this habit? I physically cannot hold her all the time, because I also have a 20 month old I have to tend to him as well. I have tried letting her just cry it out, and she will not stop. Help!!

2 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks to everyone who responded. I received several great ideas and based on many of the recommendations I went out today and purchased the moby carrier. It has been working great so far and I'm excited that I finally got a break to do things around the house. Thanks for all the advice. My baby seems happy being right next to mommy all day! :)

Featured Answers

hi N.,
My little lady is the same way. I found that if I put her in the swing and face it out the window to where she can see the moving trees she is good for a while. I also have her in her car seat and sing to her she seems to like it.(at least some one likes my singing lol) I find those 2 things work for me I hope that they do you. congrats on litle girl and I hope these help.

good luck S.

1 mom found this helpful

I would also suggest baby wearing - I had a Moby wrap and loved it. But a swing might also work for a short awhile. It's perfectly normal for a baby of that age to want to be close to mom all the time. Enjoy it because as soon as they're and 2 and 3, they'll be too busy and squirmy to snuggle for any longer than a few seconds!

1 mom found this helpful

I would suggest the Moby wrap/sling. I've tried a ton it was the only one that fit. It will hold her snug so you can get stuff done while she sleeps;-))

Another thought-- Is she crying for a reason other than wanting to be worn/close to mom?? Maybe it warrents a trip to the doc.

Hope you get some relief

Lynelle

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

I highly recommend a sling (or pouch, or wrap, or mei tai, etc.). Studies have shown that babies who are carried an extra 3 hours a day in the first several months cry 40% less. And in general babies pick up verbal skills faster and develop better core muscle strength, balance and gross motor skills. It’s also a proven way to make babies smarter

('Einstein' & 'Brainy Baby' DVDs are actually proven to retard verbal development. And there is a strong correlation between the amount of tv children under 2 watch and the likelihood of them development an attention disorder – AAP recommends no tv before 2 years! Sorry, nothing to do with your post -- it's just my personal beef and I couldn't resist adding that.)

The Original NoJo BabySling by Dr. Sears is a great starter sling. You can get one on eBay for as little as $15. Also, if you are willing to put in the money, the Ergo Baby Carrier allows you to wear the baby not only on the front and sides, but also on the back -- and it has a hood that supports her head so she can fall asleep like that! Then you could get housework done, care for your other kiddo, etc.

So it might help you have a quieter and calmer daughter in the long run if you are willing to put in the extra energy to carry her around more right now. Admittedly, it is extra weight to carry around. I'm expecting my second in a couple of months so I might be eating my words then -- I have no idea how difficult it is going to be or how tired I will be with two. Anyways, good luck and take care. :-)

2 moms found this helpful

Get a sling. Make sure it is one that works well for you. I had a Maya Wrap and it didn't fit all that well. If I were to do it again I would get a Moby Wrap. Looks much more versatile. The other thing that worked when I needed to put baby down for a while to take a shower was a bouncy chair that vibrated. That would buy me a few minutes to take care of myself. But don't try to "break" your baby of the "habit". It is not a habit, it is a basic need. In some cultures, babies aren't put on the ground until the are a year old. Babies who are held a lot as infants tend to be more secure as they get older and less clingy.

And I totally agree with the previous poster about those videos. They are marketed as this great thing but research has shown them to be detrimental.

2 moms found this helpful

I just want to say that while carriers, slings and wraps are great (I use mine a lot with my 7 week old to keep up with my 2 yr old and 3.5 yr old), it will not hurt your baby to let her cry sometimes! Of course you want to meet her needs for food, clean diapers, closeness, and as much comfort and holding time as you can manage, but there are times when I know it is just HARD to carry a baby, even in a wrap or carrier, and make dinner (sharp knives/heat - not good for baby) or play with/hold my other 2 kids.

So my two cents is this - don't feel guilty if you can't hold her or comfort her everytime she cries, it's ok to put her down to get things done, even if she cries the whole time you are doing it. Crying will not hurt her, but carrying her all the time might hurt you, and the guilt about not doing it is just something we as moms don't need.

And here is something that I have found to be true with my kids. Sometimes they cry in one spot, but not another, so try a few things - the swing, the bouncy seat, a blanket on the floor or in a pack n play on tummy or back. It often surprises me when my fussing baby will stop crying and be perfectly happy for 15-20 minutes when I put him down on the floor. Just the change of pace is sometimes enough for a short while. And often the 15-20 minutes will be even longer if I sit nearby and rub his tummy and occasionally replace the pacifier while playing blocks or reading with my older ones. We moms are tough, but our back and arms need a break sometimes too. Good luck, as you know, this phase won't last forever!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi N.,
This sounds like a temperment problem. Your daughter just needs that closeness and love at this age. I don't think I would try to break her of it. I would buy a good sling or a front/backpack so that you can physically hold her all the time and still attend to your 20 month old.
I like my front/back pack the best, because it's versatile enough to put my baby on my front or back, depending on the situation. My little one is now 16 months old and she still likes to be worn when I exercise. I look at it as a 20 pound medicine ball... and I get more or a workout when I hold her. Let me know if you need advice on carriers... there are a ton of them to choose from these days.
Good luck with two. The first year is REALLY hard... it gets easier once the little one turns one.
Peace,
T.

1 mom found this helpful

hi N.,
My little lady is the same way. I found that if I put her in the swing and face it out the window to where she can see the moving trees she is good for a while. I also have her in her car seat and sing to her she seems to like it.(at least some one likes my singing lol) I find those 2 things work for me I hope that they do you. congrats on litle girl and I hope these help.

good luck S.

1 mom found this helpful

I would also suggest baby wearing - I had a Moby wrap and loved it. But a swing might also work for a short awhile. It's perfectly normal for a baby of that age to want to be close to mom all the time. Enjoy it because as soon as they're and 2 and 3, they'll be too busy and squirmy to snuggle for any longer than a few seconds!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi N.. Great suggestions on the sling and other ways to get a few minutes to yourself or to get something done. I would also suggest that you let alot of things stay undone. Of course you have to tend to your 20 month old and you need to eat and get rest yourself. But sometimes, household matters that seem so urgent at the time can be set aside so you can focus on your babies.

It may seem like your baby girl will cry like this forever. My 4th screamed for months, even when held. But it doesn't last forever and soon you will be able to "catch up" and you will have time, at least a little more time to do other things.

1 mom found this helpful

It is very normal for her to want to be held all the time. As far as I know, you cannot break the habit. I would highly suggest a carrier. My favorite is the Moby as both your hands are free and the weight is well distributed. In the next couple months she should give you a little more time without being held. Good luck and hang in there.

1 mom found this helpful

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