Scatter-brained and Hating It!

I have 6 kids. I do not remember anything unless I write it down. I carry a planner and I do not schedule anything unless I look at it. It is the other half of my brain. If I can't remember what is coming up tomorrow I look at the schedule the night before. I also sit down each morning and look at what the day holds and then just think what needs to be done and I make a list of what must be done that day and then I assign times to all of the things that do not already have one. i.e. Dr. appt. this does two things for me. It helps me stay on track and remember what I need to do and at the end of the day I can look at the list and see that I ddi get stuff done. You probably know the end of the day feeling of moving non - stop and yet feeling like nothing was accommpished

Hi, L.!
Yes, I think every Mom can attest to feeling scatter-brained, over-stressed and overwhelmed! I'll be honest and say that when I'm taking care of me--getting sleep, exercising, and eating well, brain function is definitely better! I do have some help from some awesome healthy products. I drink and energy drink called "Spark" that helps with mental focus and clarity. I also take something called "A-Supreme" to help deal with stress. It makes me feel like I take a deep breath, breathe out, and then I can handle everything! If you'd like some more info on how to try the products, let me know! I'll mail you a Spark! Every Mom needs it!

L.,

I just had to laugh when I read about your problem. Ever since my kids were born 11 years ago I have felt very scatterbrained. As I get older( I am 42 now) I feel more scatterbrained all the time. I have found that as soon as I start doing one thing (like unloading the dishwasher) then I will think "I need to feed the dog". I feed the dog and then remember "I need to put clothes in the dryer." All the while the dishwasher door is still open still half full! I was somewhat comforted to know that it happens to all of my friends too! I have found that I have to make myself complete the task before I move on to another. I have also found that I have to write everything down or it just flies out of my mind! I also tend to remember things while I am driving in the van. I try to keep something to write on while I am driving so I can capture the thought. A few years ago I read a book called "Getting Things Done". I think it was very helpful because the author says that all your undone tasks must be captured somehow outside of your brain(i.e. to do lists, etc.) Then your brain doesnt have to keep revisiting it. I think it does help. I also think that as women our lives are much more difficult these days. Alot of our mothers stayed at home and didnt have very many responsibilities outside of the home. Most of us now have jobs that we are responsible for outside of the home and we are still responsible for running everything inside the home. I think it all adds up to "brain overload!" I hope this helps you and just know that I (along with my friends) think you are normal!

L.,
Hi! I have experienced your same problem before. There are a couple of things that I have done to help me not forget as much and get control over areas of my life that seem to spin out of control.

#1. With teenagers (however wonderful) and one tween, the demands and fast paced lifestyle and way of thinking they bring to the table can interfere with our own pace. We can keep up with them, both in thought and deed, but it takes its toll.
#2. It goes without saying, but you have to regroup and find some quiet time. Order your days as best as you can, knowing it will change and sometimes hourly, but in that order we have created we can find sense in chaos. You must slow down and focus. You are the hub at the center of the wheel. Take some time for you. Even if it's a cup of tea or your favorite beverage and you sit for 15 minutes.
#3. Write down your rituals. You have them and they are there. Waiting just beneath the surface. The rituals will help to bring you back on track. Perhaps they need to be tweaked, but they give a guide to walking out your day.

I hope this helps some. I feel for you sister. Been there.

D.

Oh my gosh! You are doing waaaay too much. Stress, hormones and over scheduled....I found fish oil tablets, two a day, to be so phenomenal in helping my forgetfulness as well as the arthritis in my hand. Use the kind from small fish. I have not found any research indicating side effects. Take with a full stomach. Put your feet up, find what pleases you and say a prayer!

well, DUH!!! Of course you're scatterbrained. When we have so much on our plates something has to give. Usually it is the small stuff (i.e., why did I come downstairs?, where are my keys?, did I forget to turn off the curling iron?). As they say, don't sweat the small stuff!! LOL

I am a 61 year old stay-at-home grandmom with custody of a 16 year old and an 18 month old. I feel the same way most of the time.

Hypnosis works beautifully at helping you handle the many tasks that come your way.

~L.
www.bodyrules.com

I enjoyed reading your request and the replies because it is reassuring to know that others in the world feel the same way as I do, lol.

I also have a lot on my plate from multiple roles that I play. All of them are so different, it requires a shift of thought process to keep track of them. I try to use several orgainzational resources.

1. I take notes. I write on calendars.

2. I use the reminders that credit cards offer to help me keep on track. I have a few of my monthly payments ( insurance, cable TV/internet, church offering) automatically withdrawn from my checking account on pre-set dates. That's that many less tasks I have to perform every month.

3. I have my budget in a spreadsheet, with due dates beside all of my monthly obligations so I don't forget when they are due. (That has been one of the most useful ideas I came up with, it reminds me everytime I open the spreadsheet.) I look at that spreadsheet after each payday, so I know what I should be doing soon.

If you want to read a really useful book, read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey. There's nothing new in it, but it is put together into a unified system of reorgainzing your life based on human needs and prioritizing. You get to set your priorities, and it shows you how to organize your life based on those priorities. It was a real eye-opener for me. I highly recommend it, the book was on the NY Times best seller list for 5 years.

Hi L. ~

I don't know how old you are, but menopause did me in when it came to my memory and focus. You may be starting. See your Doc and have your hormone levels tested. I take lots of vitamins, especially B complex and fish oil and definately have to write things down. The teen years will do more than just turn you gray! Good luck!

~ K.
PS ~ Get a massage!

I have 3 calendars(one in my purse, one by the computer, and the 'master schedule' in the kitchen). Once a month or when there's a change(work schedule, etc.), I double check that everything is on all of them. And oh, boy, you should see my kitchen wall. I tape up all of the upcoming activity notices from school and church and rip them off as they get accomplished. I need to see it all, can't stand looking for that one piece of paper I put down somewhere and need NOW. I have no brain since menopause. And I lose stuff. You'd think it would be easier now that my last one graduated hs, but no, now there's get ready for college notes up there. My pocket calendar is tottttallllyyyy my lifeline. I have a shelf that's approaching critical mass where all of the insurance/tax/financial things are stacked....I could use some help here myself. I'm thinking cute baskets.

L.,
I get very scatter-brained, easily. I have to be very careful to write things down and put them in obvious spots (having a list is only helpful if you can find the list).
Changes in sleeping, eating, stress, etc. can all impact your memory. A lot of memory is context-dependent. We remember things when we are in the same context (room, mood, around the same people) as when we decided to put it in memory. That's why we can go back into a room and remember what we were thinking ("that's right, I was getting..."). We also used cues in our environment to help us remember. When things are cluttered in our environment and mind, the cues that we use or have accessible don't always lead along the right pathways to trigger the desired memories. My suggestion is to remove anything extraneous in your environment. Make lists and carry them with you. Bring a PDA, notepad, or post-it notes. Keep one central calendar that has everything on it (color code it by person). Put notes on doors. I have my daughter's checklist for leaving the house on the front door. I can't walk out without seeing it and then I remember, "oh, i need wipes." I have more suggestions, but don't want to get long-winded. Let me know how it goes. Good luck!
J.

Sounds like you manage a lot of things so I'm not surprised you're feeling scatter brained. I would be to keep up with that many things, too. So, I simply suggest lists and notes. It saves me on a daily basis especially since I do a lot of thinking at night after the kids go to bed... which all escapes me in the morning. Before you may have been able to manage everything in your mind, but lets face it... kids add a new dimention to what we keep track of. I think a few weeks of making lists will also help your brain to think more structured and help return some of that organized thinking again.

Good luck,
Liz

p.s. I often can't even think of the word I want to use in a sentence because I am so scatter brained from my 2 kids (5 and 3). They are wonderful children, but I am being talked to 95% of the day and I can't think beyond it!!

L.,
I think many moms especially with teens go through times like this every so often. If you worry, it can make things worse.
You are on the right track to ask for help to change and shift this pattern.
As a holistic health practitioner, and someone who has worked with stress management with my clients, I can tell you that there are many strategies and avenues that you can utilize which will help.
The thing that I would most reccommend is to see a qualified acupuncturist. That means a person who has a Mac after their name. Also someone who practices five element acupuncture. That incorporates the emotional system into the whole picture.
I'm happy to give you a referral close to where you live or work.
Please feel free to contact me if you choose to look at this option. It is thousands of yrs. old and has been working incredibly well for women for yrs.
In health,
L.

I think you just have too much going on. You need to make more time for yourself. Get a pedicure or a massage now & then, or whatever you like to do just for you. You need a break. Listen at me, I have the same problem at age 52. I think sometimes we just need to slow down. But, it is very hard to do when you have so many responsibilities. I work full time at a trucking company doing payroll/billing and sell Avon part time. I really do know how you feel.

For what it's worth, it is a common symptom of peri-menopause and menopause. I bought a PDA to keep in my pocket, and if I'm faithful to record stuff, it really does help me. I just have to make sure I am faithful to record stuff, rather than insisting to myself that I'll remember...

Lists. I'm not the neatest or most organized person, but I have lists and charts and spread sheets for everything to the point my husbands rolls his eyes. I have a list to check off items needed to make a list to go food shopping. I set reminders on my cell phone and my calendar at home and work and on my PDA. The key to a list is making it a part of your everyday life and something easily accessible. If you have to dig to find a list what's the point. Hope it helps.

Have you had a physical or checkup lately? It could be a physical problem. I was having the same problem, plus was tired constantly and found out that I have sleep apnea. A cpap machine has changed my life. Take a few minutes & schedule an appointment with your doctor.

Hi L.,

First of all, get you an appointment book with 5 colums. Like the Doctor's offices.

Put each name in a column.

Put what you need to get down each day in your column as well as everyone else and refer to it each day.

Good luck. Hope this helps. D.

Beauty supply stores may care appointment books or medical supply houses.

L.,
I know the scatterbrained feeling well! I too have 3 children, 11, 6 & 5. My 6 yr old has developmental delay issues, and of course you know the 'situations' an 11 year old can experience...
I have found products from Biometics to be helpful. There is a particular one called BioAlert, that works to increase memory and focus. Biometics is a liquid vitamin supplement that is nearly 100% absorbed, as opposed to the 35% - 45% absorbtion rate of vitamins in pill form. Also, in meeting with the Psychologist for our son's delay problem, she has turned us on to Chia seeds... YES, just like Ch-ch-ch-chia pet!
The seeds are incredibly high in Omega 3, and are very beneficial in helping the brain focus. My son takes them, and so do I!!! I mix them into a sugar free pudding cup, or yogurt, and you never taste them, or even really know they're there. They have helped us both!
I purchase mine at the Vitamin Shoppe, but they can also be purchased on the internet.
Good Luck! God bless you with 3 teens... He WILL see you through.
S.

Hey L., my suggestion is simple...firstly, stress WILL do that to you.. so ease back.. what "extras" are you doing that you can cut back on?? Already you work full time with 3 great kids, one with a med problem. Right there is enough, more than enough. Do you like Mary Kay?? if so keep doing it.. but surely your kids could help more around the house doing some housework to lighten your load.. even some grocery shopping.. Also a notepad works wonders for me... I have a small one.. keep it in my back pocket.. LOVE IT>.. Good luck

Good Morning L.! I just read a very good article on essential fatty acids (Omega 3's) and their important role in our bodies. One of the main benefits was increased memory and focus. That's an easy try, huh? I would be glad to forward the article to you just let me know okay?

Take Care,
N. :)
SAHM homeschooling 3 boys 12, 7 & 2 yrs old. I'm also married to Mr. Wonderful for almost 15yrs now.

Hello L., you're not scatter-brained; just have too much on your plate. Let me remind you...Mary Kay's philosophy is: GOD first, Family second, and career third!! All of this to say, when I find myself in the same predicament, it's because I have too too much on my plate, but what helps me is I have to take some down time...a couple of hours or maybe a day to get hold of ME; after that's done...then I'm good to go and I can press forward. But try not to get lost in your overwhelming schedule. Please take time to relax and pray and I say relax first because in order for you to have a productive conversation with the Lord, your mind has to be "at ease". Praying much for you!! It's okay to slow down a minute...believe me, it's okay!! GOD bless!!!