Sassy 3 Year Old

T., I've found with my kids and my daycare kids that having an almost adult conversation about the problem really seems to help. One problem I've addressed this way with my daycare kiddos is not treating Mom or Dad nicely when they come to pick the child up. I've had a couple of kids that just start running away or acting so naughty it's just terrible. I sat down with 2 of these kiddos (not at the same time, the problems were months apart) and talked about how Mom/Dad works very hard all day and is very happy to come see him/her and then when they act naughty it hurts Mom/Dad's feelings. Talk about how hurting feelings is not the same as a fall, but inside and can hurt just as much. Having a sit down "grown up" conversation has really helped me in several cases.

Good Luck, M.

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Oh man I'm going through this right now my daughter tells me to shush your mouth and is just sassy fras! I've tried the swatting bottom, time outs and nothing works except for when I send her to her room for a few minutes. Good Luck

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T., I really like both th 1,2,3 Magic book and the Love and Logic book. My sister is going through something very similar with her soon to be 5 year old, she has been sassy since she could first speak...some children are just naturally a bit more "rambunctious" I know I was hell on wheels from age two until my teen years...my parents were Very consistant with discipline, nothing really seemed to help ( on the surface) but I did grow up to be a respectful daughter. I really recomend the Love and Logic book by Jim and Charles Fay, they even have classes.
B.

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Good Morning, 3 years old this is certainly the time to get this stopped, because it will only get worse and by the time she is a teen her language will be very abusive to you, because you have not earned her respect. I don't have time to type out these scripture, but these are what I have taught in Training up a Child classes and I used them on my now grown children and now my grandchildren. God has given us these instruction because He is the one who created and gave us our children He certainly knows what they need.
These are all in Proverbs, 13:24, 18:18, 22:6, 22:15, 23:13-14, 29:15 & 17. write them down and keep them before you. Don't let her grow up and have ugly ways, because if she speaks to you this way she will speak this way to others, teachers, friends, spouse. Be CONSISTANT, CONSISTANT, so the child can trust that you mean what you say today, tomorrow and next month, etc. It gives them trust and security in you and the home, and later on in God because they will know His Word means what it says. Would love to hear back from you, or if you have any further questions.

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If you give much attention to the bad behavior it can reinforce it. When she realizes she has the power to upset you or the household she will use it. Try telling her that it hurts when she says that to you or just telling her that you love her anyway. Ignoring it or telling her calmly that isn't nice might be a good option too.

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Just wanted to see your responses because you could be describing MY 4 year old and I want to know what to do also!!!

I'm reading dr. Becky baileys "easy to love, difficult to discipline." recommended bt Olathe parent as teachers. Really good advice. Got it at barnes and noble for $14. Library may have it.

I've got a 2 1/2 year old son exactly like her :) I don't have words of wisdom...just wanted you to know you weren't alone! My son is my 5th child, and I never experienced this with any of them! We are a Christian family try to model positive behavior, TV viewing monitored, etc. I know how frustrating and confusing it is when you want to raise them to be loving and you keep hearing this nonsence out of their little mouths!

I do have a book I love called, "The Power of a Praying Parent" by Stormie Omartian that has a prayer for both honoring parents and speaking words of life that I tend to pray for him...mostly for my own sanity to know that though I may not be able to do anything, God can work in there!

If you get some spectacular advice, please share with me!!!!

Hi T.!
I agree with the mama that said she is probably trying to get a reaction. My son is 2 and a half. For the most part he's a good boy. However, he does do things that he seems to be doing just to get attention or a reaction. He's very recently started saying the word stupid. I do not approve of it at all. I have no idea where he learned it. I told him that that is not a nice word and we do NOT use that word. Well that just made him say it over and over. So I just ignored him. He stopped saying it. I think you should let her know that it is not nice to speak that way. If she starts saying it more after you tell her that, ignore her. If she doesn't stop, then time out. She can say it all she wants, by herself in her room where no one can hear her. I'll bet it won't be as fun anymore if she doesn't have an audience.

how is her behavior in general? does she mind you and respect grownups? i would be surprised if she didn't have other disciplinary issues, because it sounds like she's doing it to get a rise out of you. but i don't think that saying she's 6 1/2 is sassy? unless it's disrespectful i wouldn't worry too much about it. acknowledge her "great imagination" and let it go. if it's something truly inappropriate, try just giving her "the look", commenting that those are ugly words and you don't like them, and let it go. give her positive reactions when she behaves and uses nice words. maybe it's the reaction she's going for....

I believe in natural consequences. Let me ask you this. If you met someone new and thought you had similar interests, but turned out they were fairly smut mouthed, told indecent jokes, used sarcasm and teased you, what would you do? I would bet that you would cut off that new found friendship even before it gets off the ground.

Now, what can you do with your child? You can't cut her off permenantly. I mean seriously we love our kids. BUT, you don't have to have ANYTHING to do with them outside of the basics until they change their ways. I agree with having a real conversation with them. But it can be very short. It goes something like this...

Your behavior and words sound very ugly right now. You are hurting my feelings and you are making me mad. I will not speak with you or play with you or listen to you until you change the way you treat me. Now go away. Turn your back and ignore them. If you do it right, you'll find they will not like the break in the relationship. They'll try and make amends in their own way fairly soon.

S.