Santa Claus

Maybe it is time to let him in on the secret that we are all Santa Claus, some more so than others, and as he gets older he will have more responsibility to be a good Santa. Now he can help be Santa to his younger brother and sister. You can also tell him the story about Larry Stewart--who was for years the Secret Santa who gave away over a million dollars to strangers at Christmas time.

I would probably tell him the truth and explain that it's the spirit of Santa, and not that his siblings still believe and that it wouldn't be nice to spoil it for them. I would come up with something that I think would help keep the secret. Maybe let him be apart of the fun of santa or something.

Just my two cents, I don't look forward to the day I have to deal with this.

This is the story I used to help my children understand the "magic" of Santa Claus... after they begin to wonder does a man in a red suit Really bring presents??

I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma.
I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!"
My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I
fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her "world-famous" cinnamon buns. I
knew they were world-famous, because Grandma said so.
It had to be true.

Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm.
Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me. "No Santa Claus?" she snorted...."Ridiculous! Don't believe it. That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad!! Now, put on your coat, and let's go."
"Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even
finished my second world-famous cinnamon bun. "Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars.

That was a bundle in those days. "Take this money,"
she said, "and buy something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's. I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping
with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping.For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that
ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on
earth to buy it for.

I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends,
my neighbors, the kids at school, the people who went to my church. I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's
grade-two class.
Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because
he never went out to recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a c ough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't have a cough; he didn't have a good coat. I fingered the
ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy
Bobby Decker a coat!
I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it.
It looked real warm, and he would like that.

"Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady
behind the counter asked kindly, as I laid my ten do llars down. "Yes, ma'am," I replied shyly. "It's for Bobby."

The nice lady smiled at me, as I told her about how
Bobby really needed a good winter coat. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag, smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas.

That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat (a little tag fell out of the coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) in
Christmas paper and ribbons and wrote, "To Bobby, From Santa Claus" on it.
Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy.
Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially, one of Santa's helpers.

Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and
she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going."
I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw
the present down on his step, pounded his door and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma.
Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for
the front door to open. Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.
Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments
spent shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes. That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were -- ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his
team.
I still have the Bible, with the coat tag tucked
inside: $19.95.
May you always have LOVE to share, HEALTH to spare and
FRIENDS that care...Be the Santa to those you love, and share what you can with others this year.
And may you always believe in the magic of Christmas!

Hi, J.. I'm a grandmother of a 3 1/2 year old and face the same delima. As I have gotten from Mom to Grandma, my feelings about telling our children the truth about such things has become more important. If we lie to our children all of their early years, about Santa, the tooth fairy, etc. it seems that we are starting early in teaching them that little lies are OK and that they can't trust us to tell the truth. I have told my grandson that Santa is a wonderful story that parents tell the kids to make christmas more fun. Then I explain the gifts concept and that the gift is a sign of the love we have for each other. I have a collection of Santa's through the ages and show my grandson that people have been telling this story for a very long time. But it's just a story.

Hope this helps or at least gives you a different viewpoint.

K.

When I realized my oldest, now turning 13, was questioning about Santa almost 3 years ago, it made me sick. He and I sat down, and I asked him what his thoughts were about Santa. Then I just explained about the "magic", and how we are carrying on the traditions of a saint who truly lived before. We have celebrated Christmas as Jesus' birthday since he was a year old, with a cupcake and candle for Jesus that our son got to eat, so he knew that was what Christmas truly was about. He was not devastated when he found out about Santa, but excited to share in the secret for his brother and sister. This past Christmas, after watching the "Polar Express", I had an idea. I went to Michaels craft store and found a silver bell ornament on a red ribbon, one about the size from Santa's sleigh. Then I wrote a poem just for him "From Santa" about how as long as he heard the bell ring, he still believed, just like in the movie. We hid the bell on the tree, because the poem said he had to find a special gift on the tree. He almost cried when he found it and when he shook the bell and heard it, he said he still believed. Later, he told me he would always treasure that as a special gift. I bought 2 other bells already to have on hand as his brother and sister come of age and ask. I would love to share the poem with you, as all you would need to do is change the name. It's hard to let our "babies" grow up, but he is so cute when it's time for Santa, even though he knows the secret. Good luck and God bless you for teaching him the TRUE meaning of celebrating Christmas!!!

My approach is not, perhaps, the most common. But, it is lovingly well thought out with the development of the child as primarily important. I always found that a child's ability to trust their parents as a source of truth is far more fundmentally important to the child than the dependence on a false belief to make a holiday magical once a year. I feel that a child's ability to play and have a blast pretending the whole Santa myth is not understood well. They seem to enjoy the magic of playing along and love to know that the adults in their life are willing to pretend 'with' them rather than 'for' them. Few things are more unsettling than to find that the people you need to trust have not been honest with you and even more disturbing to learn that it is a broadly supported adult conspiracy.

I remember my parent's dishonesty when I asked them this question at age 6. I discovered the truth from my peers just after turning 7 and was emotionally torn. It appeared to me that the adults were enjoying the game by making a fool of me. I also remember feeling frightened that they might be dishonest with me about everything. I lost the real magic of trust that day.

So, whenever you decide to fess up, you might want to read a little about the legend of the real St. Nicholas. Although there are no historical recorded facts about him, he was known for his love of Christ, his courage, his truthfulness, and especially his generosity and love for children. I see nothing wrong with telling a child, even very young children, that the spirit of St. Nicholas still lives and that we give gifts to children in his name (which has evolved,or de-evolved through the years). In this way we enjoy the same feelings the wise men must have felt when they brought gifts to the infant Christ and the feelings of love and generosity St. Nicholas had for children. I also see nothing wrong in telling the child that some of the gifts given to children each year at Christmas are given in the name of St. Nicholas, so that it is as if St. Nicholas had given those gifts, himself. Many people do charitable acts in the name of a much loved or virtuous person that is no longer alive. This is why we name streets after great people, even though those people never lived there and did not build that street. These are concepts that even a child with mild autism is probably able to grasp. I feel the whole thing is much more fun when there is no lie to cover up and we all experience the real magic of honoring the gifts of the spirit.

However you choose to approach this, try to be sure that your son knows this was all done for his enjoyment in the spirit of play and pretend and not a plot to trick and tease unsuspecting children. It is just so easy for them to assume things and live in confusion. It is also important to tell him that other families may choose to pretend that Santa Claus is alive and living at the North Pole and that it would be neither kind nor generous to spoil their game. As far as I know, our son remained very considerate in this way and had a great time pretending with his friends and cousins who still believed the myth. Best of luck!

J.:

My kids are 21, 18 and 14, and not once have we told them that there is not a Santa Claus. Sure they ask, (and I am sure they know, but didn't hear it from us), but our response has always been you must Believe, just keep believing! Don't ever give up on believing!

C. F

Let me start by saying that i have not read any of the suggestions from the other women. I have a 14 year old daughter and a 12 year old son. I have never told them to this day that there is no Santa. Here is the reason: I was brought up by a mother whose favorite holiday is Christmas. My mother has about 200 Santa Claus' in the house at Christmas time. I know this sounds weird but she never told me either. Every time I would ask as a child (I am 36 now), she would say: "M., you believe what you want to believe, but I believe in Santa Claus." I use to think 'yea, whatever mom!" but you know, the more you hear that answer, the more you realize that Christmas is much more fun thinking there is a Santa than if someone told you there wasn't. Let your child go one for as long as you can.

I can remember my kids coming home on numerous occassions telling me that so and so said that there is no Santa. All I would say is "Remember what I have said, you believe what you want to believe, but I believe in Santa." Yes, my children are smart enough to know better but guess what Christmas is still a lot of fun and the kids no longer ask if Santa is real or not anymore.

Was my mom and also myself wrong for telling the kids what we told them? I don't think so. We were able to keep the magic in Christmas without directly telling them that Santa was real. This give the children a right to believe in what they want to believe it, without some making that decision for them.

Good luck in whatever choice you make!! and Merry Christmas a few months early.........

I must ask this question....why would you want some stranger to shatter your child's illusion and expose you to be a liar?

The kindest thing a parent can do is explain to a child that Santa Claus lives in each of us, and now that he is old enough to know this, the responsibility to be "Santa" to someone else falls to him. He's now in on the secret, and it's his deal as the bigger brother to keep the dream alive to his younger siblings.

I did this with my daughter, and then the next few Christmas' we did "Christmas Mouse"....where we left an anonymous gift on the doorstep of someone we suspected to be struggling.

She is now in college, and while she might look like a "goth" on the outside, she has a huge heart and regularly helps those around her even though since my divorce we are simply put, not able to make ends meet ourselves.

Don't treat this like the end of innocence...treat it like a right of passage as your baby becomes a young man.

NOTE TO JAPPLE A : THAT is what Santa is...bravo for your Grandma and the angel sales clerk

My husband and I were honest to our son the entire time about Santa Claus and there was no such thing as we both felt like we were lied to growing up and finding out later that there was no such person as I saw my mother putting presents under the tree and I asked her about it and she just said that he arrived a little early. I knew better and was upset that my mother lied to me about it. So we just told him that we are the ones that buy the things and God enables us to have the money to buy the things he gets for Christmas. You should be honest with your children but I can't tell you what you would like to hear, all I can tell you is think about it and put yourself in his position and there may be a friend or another child at school tell him that there is no such thing. Kids can be cruel to another child. Just my opinion, sorry.

Here's how I responded when my precocious 7-year-old asked the same things.

I told her that Santa didn't come to our house because he didn't need to. I let her know that we were very blessed because her father and I (and grandparents, etc.) were able to be Santa for our family. I also let her know that we tried to help other families who didn't live with their "Santas" by donating items and $$ at Christmastime. (She goes to a Catholic school, so she's already well-versed in fundraising for the needy.)

I also told her that her little brother still believed that Santa came down the chimney (even though we don't have one) but that when he asked me those questions, I'd tell him the same thing. I told her that she didn't have to keep any secrets from her brother because this wasn't really a secret. But I did let her know that her brother was really enjoying the anticipation of Santa's arrival.

After Christmas, she did try and tell her brother that Santa was just Mom and Dad but he was having none of it. So, he still believes. We'll see how it goes this year...

I have 6 children (5 of which are old enough to know what is going on). I have always told my kids that there once was a man named St. Nickolas at one time many years ago who had a very kind heart towards children and today parents carry on his tradition. You can probably find a good childrens book about him at your library. And my kids know about the "easter bunny" and "tooth fairy", but also knows that it is mom and dad (mostly mom though). I think that kids need to learn the truth about traditions and WHY we have them......

J.,
Congrats on your 10 years!! And I hope you enjoy Hawaii! Alot of the fun of it is the planning!
Suggestions on the Christmas thing are to be straight with all your children. Maybe start off with the "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" letter.
I never lied to my children about the myth of Santa Claus, although I was careful about how I approched it. It always seemed odd to me that we teach our children to always tell the truth, but don't model it as parents ourselves. The "magic" of Christmas is even more wonderful when we realize it's teaching even young children what the holiday is all about, and that the celebration is more than the gifts and glitter. We all still watch Santa Claus stuff, just like we watch Veggie tales stuff or any other mythical character stuff. Best Wishes to you!

J., I have a hard time with the Santa thing. I believe that honesty is the best policy. My kids have never believed in Santa, the Easter Bunny, or the tooth Fairy. I dont think you will help anything by prolonging the myth. We take them to church, we teach them right from wrong and then we tell them for years about something that isnt true, but based in religeon. It never made sense to me. Be honest and use the truth to give your children a good upbringing. Dont shrowd religeon in myths and untruths.

Hi J.,
If your son is confused on the subject, I would sit him straight. If he is a very deep thinker he thinks about things like trust and honesty too. He doesn't need more to worry about. I would tell him right away.
J.

All four of my kids REALLY asked at age 7. Before that, I didn't want to lie to them, so I'd dodge it with, "What do you think?" When they said that they did believe, I'd respond with, "That's what counts." Well, at 7... they were old enough and smart enough to recognize the dodge. When the first one figured it out and we had our private talk, I told him that now that he was big, he had to help keep the secret from the other kids. I let him get up after the others were asleep, and help set up all the Santa gifts. I didn't let him see his own stuff (which he knew we'd bought) or any of the stocking stuff. That insured real surprise the next morning. He felt so big, because he was helping keep the magic for the rest. Same thing, as the others found out. The 'newbie' got to help. I have to admit.. it was pretty sad when #4 figured it out.

I was never told that Santa is "real," and I don't tell my children that he is, either. I have ALWAYS told my girls that Santa is a story that people like to tell about Christmas. (But hey, I say that about Jesus too. ;)

Christmas can be magic without believing in stories. If you use your imagination, you can experience the story as deeply as if you believe in its factuality. Even without the stories, Christmas for me has always been about the magic of togetherness and love and generosity. If there's magic in the Santa story, that's where it comes from. We are trying hard to make Christmas about our family being together, more than about presents. Our 3 year old loves it. She knows about Santa and enjoys the Santa book someone gave her, but couldn't care less about whether he exists physically.

Your son is asking. That means he wants to know the truth. Letting him find out at his own pace means telling him now.

And --you didn't ask, but I would look very carefully at the Sunday school curriculum, and think seriously about whether he should be in that class. I don't think fear should be a basis for religion or spirituality, esp. for children. But then, apparently lots of people disagree with me on that point.

I would say, "well , what do you think ?" And go from there . My 8 year old hasn't asked, but I've been told that's what I should start the conversation with

This is something I keep asking myself ever since I had my son. I have a friend who doesn't want to 'lie' to her kids about Santa, the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny. I think you should tell him that Santa is real as long as you believe. He may not be a real man you can touch (other than the guy who dresses up at the mall), but if he understands the 'magic' of Christmas, he can undersatnd that Santa isn't an actual guy who comes down your chimney. Also, I would suggest Googling Santa. Then you can give your son more information about Santa Claus, St. Nick, etc. BTW in my family.... if you are asked if you believe in Santa.... you better say YES! Otherwise you get nothing for Christmas! I learned that the hard way. I got my presents later that night. But it still sucked. Good luck!

http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=38....I hope this link helps...E.

Dear J. C,

I was told by my father at a early that he was Santa Claus. He showed me his check. My mother didn't agree with what my father told me but he did what he thought was right. It depends on the child's s mental state of mind and how you think he/she may comprehend the truth. In my case I was metally able to handle the truth about Santa Claus.

It also helped my to that my father worked to support the family. How the bills, food, etc. were paid. but I still wrote letters to Santa Clausr (my father). I was a little confused at first but it made sense.

My mother told me that God is our provider he helped my father to provided for us. And when others bless us it was
becaue God who put it on their hearts to do so. My mother also told me to never tell any of my peers what my father told me. She didn't want my to go against what their parent/parents had told them.

I told my son about Santa Claus he didn't have any difficultis understanding. You know your child and when it's time you will fell in your heart. I pray I could be of help. I am not good when it comes to writing down my thoughts.

L.

Take him aside and tell him Santa is as real as he wants him to be and if he doesn't WANT to beleive in Santa then Santa doesn't need to bring him presents any more, that the Santa presents are only for those that truly believe that there is a wonderful magical being out there that wants to share the joy of the birth of Christ with them by bringing them presents. My kids believed in Santa till they were in highschool.

I haven't faced this yet, but I have a plan that I think will work - at least for my family and my son. What Santa symbolizes is a very old tradition of sacrefice during the winter, in order to assure that spring will come. So, the idea of a man who is pure GIVING symbolizes this sacrefice. And, of course, it is an inspiration for us all to become more giving in the heart of winter, when nature is the most sparce. That's my two cents.

Ok, last night my FIFTH GRADE BOY lost a tooth, and wrote the Tooth Fairy a note asking if she ever pays $20 a tooth!!
So...I'm being taken for a ride here, I'm sure. He probably knows the truth, but plays the game for my sake, and for his 7 year old sister. And yes, he still writes letters to Santa, too.My friend told her kids,'If you dont believe, you wont receive'...and she's got a 7th grader!
I dont know the answer..
Good luck!

I can understand your wanting to just tell him and be done w/ it, but why do that, I believe a child should have magic as long a poss. They are thrown into so much "adult life" at such a young age. Let kids be kids and believe. When the time is right, and he says kids at school are questioning Santa, the you can decide what to say. I have a 4yr old, and I want him to believe for as long as poss. I am 35 and still believe......

J.....no Santa Claus?! I am heartbroken! I have always believed in Santa Claus. Ask any one of my family and they will tell you that "I" still believe. Santa is the "spirit" of Christmas. Yes, you are right...Jesus IS the reason but Santa is the spirit. He represents love, compassion, sharing, happiness and others reaching out to those less fortunate. ALL things that Jesus wants us to do year round but we remember most at Christmas.

Maybe if you explain that to your child then he will not be so heartbroken. I know that "special" children can take things literally, as I have one myself. Explain about Santa being the spirit and maybe this Christmas season you can share something with him such as Adopt a Child, making cookies for a shut in, Volunteer at your church, Donating food or time to shelters or Dropping presents and food on a doorstep and hiding. This can make it easier for your child to understand.

No Santa....bah humbug! LOL

By the way, no, Santa does not make puppies but he does help pounds and shelters find loving homes for their pets.

My children are 17 and 21 and I still tell them that I believe in Santa Claus. I believe in the giving spirit and desire for every child to have something for Christmas. I believe there are a lot of us that help him in that cause. Is there a physical person with 8 reindeer, that I don't know, but I like to think there is.

He already suspects the truth. That's why he is asking. At this point, I would rather my child could trust that I wouldn't lie to him, than try to keep up the pretense.
Take him aside, (away from your other children) and explain to him with a twinkle in your eye, that Santa Claus is just a very fun game we play at Christmas. No, he's not real, and my, aren't you the smart one to figure that out ! But hasn't it been fun to play ?
Now, if you are going to continue allowing your younger children to "believe", then caution your son to not tell them this big boy secret, and get him involved right away in helping you to keep the game going. Tell him right away that now that he knows, he can help you to keep Santa "alive" for his younger siblings. The fun of being involved in such a happy secret with you should keep him from telling them, because telling would spoil the fun for him as well as the rest of you.
Allow him to plan and shop for Santa gifts, to help you caution the others to be good because Santa is watching, and even promise him that if he doesn't tell, he can get up on Christmas Eve and help you take bites out of the cookies that were left for Santa !
Have fun !

Since you are religous, look up the story of St Nicholas. There is (or WAS) a real Santa Claus, it's just not the same story we hear now. That might be a place to start. That's the only thought I have on how to help you!! I haven't had to break the news yet, my oldest is only 4. I've thought about it a little but hope I don't have to figure it out too soon! Good luck

J.,
I just recenlty told my daughter the truth. Let me tell you I went to great lengths to make her believe. I had a Santa that actually produced her letter to her and called her by name. She was 7 at that time. If your son is constantly asking he may already know the truth. But what I told my daughter was that at one time there really was a "Chris Kringle" Who delivered toys to children but has since passed on and Mommy and Daddy kept his spirit alive by taking over. This way she still has the "Spirit" of Santa alive.
PS can I stowe away in your suitcase?

Hi, J.. I would tell your son before someone else does. He is old enough to handle it, and hopefully, he will keep it from his siblings. I would not wait for him to bring it up, but when you are by yourself, maybe on an outing, tell him how "because he is old enough now" you can trust him to know the truth and not share it with others who may not know. He will see it as you trusting him with something important and probably be excited to be in on the secret. Good Luck and enjoy your Hawaiian vacation!

Hi J. - I am a Mom who absolutely love Christmas, and the Magic of the season. My son started questioning at a very young age. He too had a younger sister and I did not want it spoiled for her. Your dilima is complicated by by your son's mild austism. They are so literal in their view of the world. It is black or white in their mind. I was not ready to give up the magic of Christmas - so I explained to my kids that Santa was part of the Magic of Christmas. No one is sure who or what the real Santa Claus is. It is just a magical thing. And personally I love the magic of the Christmas. I have never seen God, but I believe that there is a God. No one has eveer seen Santa on Christmas Eve but I believe he is an integral part of Christmas. He kept on telling his sister that Santa was not real. But he just kept wondering about the Magic part. I just kkept telling him that I believed in the Magic of Christmas. Sincerely, G.

Hi J.. I have a friend whose daughter got mad at her for lying about Santa Claus and then wondered what else her mom had lied about... so, when I had kids, I decided to handle it differently. I play along with my kids (now 8 and 5) when it comes to Santa, the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, etc. I admit that I don't know how Santa gets down the chimney or how he carries all of those toys in his sleigh. I admit that I don't know what the tooth fairy does with their teeth. I'll guess and ask them what they think. We've had some interesting ideas. I never pretend to have the answers and I always say "I don't know how they do it, but I'm glad they do because it's fun for us." That seems to work for my kids. I have worked with kids with Aspergers (form of autism) and know that they are very bright and literal. Your older son's brain may not let him just believe because literally it just doesn't make any sense. My suggestion would be to throw all his questions back at him. When he asks, say "I don't know for sure because I've never seen Santa. What do you think?" When he expresses his doubts, you could probably say "I understand you have a lot of questions (and maybe doubt) but your little sister and brother believe so let's not talk about this around them." I hope that helps!! Good luck!
M.

Well this is a conundrum that gets posted about every 3 mos. I eventually figured out that Santa wasn't real, but my family ALWAYS got gifts from Santa every year...the tags even said so! I think a lot of it will depend upon what tradition you and your husband want to continue in your family. No, Santa does exist, but the spirt of him does.

Last year, my husband was deployed and my kids were rotten. And I don't mean just sassing back, not picking up rotten...I mean flooding the bathroom and kitchen with 2" of water rotten! Santa DID NOT come to our house. The children were 3 & 4. Let me tell you, it left an impression! They are now much more conscious that "Santa is watching them" (LOL)...they were bummed to go to school and hear what Santa gave everyone else and what they didn't get. Granted I did give them some X-mas presents from mom and dad but not near what they were going to get!

I want my kids to experience the magic that comes with X-mas not the commercialism. That means, giving to those less fortunate than ourselve (even if it is US playing Santa for them). When we wrapped presents for our adopted family, I told the kids that Santa dropped off the presents for us to wrap for this family and we bought a few extra just for good measure. They really liked that and enjoyed the fact that some little boy/girl was going to be getting something really nice for X-mas.

Eventually, we all have to face the music. It is BY FAR kinder that they hear it from you than from their classmates. The spin on it is entirely upon how you handle it. I would venture to say that your eldest is probably already got it figured out, he just wants confirmation. If you approach him right, he'll keep quite because, well it's just a lot of fun to watch your sibblings faces light up when they still believe...it is magic, afterall! Good luck.

BTW- we always say that Santa can't possibly make all the toys for everyone and sometimes has to get special help from friends to fill requests. The Humane Society is a perfect example of one of these friends!:)

My parents always focused on the spirit of Christmas and Santa Claus. Even though he is not "real" doesn't mean you cannot believe . I think the Polar Express is the best movie that expresses this thought. Heck, I am 29 years young and I still believe in the Spirit of St Nick. Have you asked your son what he thinks or believes. I would let him come to his own decision and support it.

do you really believe santa isn't real??? i still believe in the "spirit" of santa... i sure do. that's how i explained it to my children. if you quit believing... then you quit recieving. that's my motto. now, obviously, my idea of "recieving" has changed. however, i've NEVER gone through a Christmas season without feeling as though i was blessed. even the ones when i truly believed i was alone. i hope you find your answer. maybe you should google it. there are a lot of different types of answers.

I would not tell him that he is not real. I to this day still tell my girls if you do not beleive than he cant bring you anything. You need to keep the secret as long as you can. The younger ones need the magic of Christmas still. Just tell him that the things Santa cant make he needs help with. He uses mom's and dad's sometimes also. I feel you need to keep them young as long as possible.
B. H.

My sister had a similar situation, wanting to keep the dream alive for the younger one. She came up with the idea of telling him that there are so many babies born every year that Santa can't always keep up so when they reach a certain age, that is the last time Santa will bring them something. We made it a big one like a bike or a more expensive present than in the past. It seemed to work good for them. The cheld still believes and it doesn't ruin it for the younger one.

My mother always told me anyone could be a Santa. When you give to others you can be a Santa too. As time went on I figgered it out. When we had Geography at school and we began to study Alaska and Santa was nowhere in the chapter. I was in the 3rd grade. I knew then, but I didn't tell my mother.

In our house we have a rule "If you believe, you will recieve." Even our 13 year old knows the truth, but it is unspoken at our house, only those who "believe" will recieve anything from Santa.

I was a little older than your son when I came home from school in tears after being told by my 1st grade class mates that there was no Santa Claus. My father had me look Santa and St. Nicholas up in our encyclopedia (I know, back in the dark ages before computers) thinking I'd realize my classmates were right. Instead, after reading everything I could about Santa Claus, St. Nicholas, Kris Kringle and any other name and tale I could find about the "jolly old elf" I came away more convinced than ever that Santa was real. He had been a real live person, and now his spirit and example moved people to give gifts in his name and to make the holiday season special for small children. I figured that he had been treating all children as if they were the holy child whose birthday celebration is Christmas, and that made everything more special. It was really neat that Moms and Dads carried on in his name, and now that I knew, I could be part of the Christmas spirit too and helped my parents with stockings stuffers and wrapping special present for my sisters who were two years younger. I really felt grown-up and special that I could help that way, and kept the secret until they figured out Santa on their own. By then we had a baby sister we could all be "Santa" for. Just a thought, you'll have to judge how to handle this and other "myths" we adults perpetrate on our children (i.e. "Tooth Fairy" "Easter Bunny" etc.) Good Luck.