Sales Clerk Was Very Rude to My Parents!

Updated on December 11, 2009
E.R. asks from Oak Park, IL
21 answers

I've lived and worked in and near Oak Park for over 10 years, but I grew up in a very lovely , very small town in Ohio. My parents still live there and my brother and his wife chose to move back there from a major city to raise their kids as well.

Every year my mother comes to stay with me before the holidays to do her Christmas shopping. Although we also go downtown, she has always enjoyed supporting small independent business and boutiques in Oak Park and Forest Park as well, and has been a great holiday customer to many of them for years.

As we were shopping this year, my father was with us. We were in a very expensive boutique that carried lovely jewelry and clothing and accessories, looking for a gift for my SIL. As we shopped, my father was waiting near the counter making small talk. He made a joke to the sales clerk that he wanted to buy himself a sweatshirt but that he probably wouldn't find one there and would have to go to Walmart instead. It was pretty obvious he was joking, as there were no men's clothes or items in the shop at all.

When he said that, the sales clerk immediately got this snooty look on her face and starting talking about how awful Walmart is. My father actually does not like Walmart either and began talking about how it has driven all the small family stores in my hometown out of business, leaving people with very few local shopping options for some items.

Let me also add that my parents are well-dressed and well-spoken.They have traveled all over the world and don't look or act 'trashy' in any way.

Anyway, the clerk started going on about how she couldn't stand small towns and could never live in one. As she was ringing up my mother's purchase, she asked if my parent's were 'tourists' ( I am not sure she realized right away that they were with me) - and I got the impression that she thought they would never be in again, so she could be as snotty as she wanted to them.

I came up to the counter and said that our town had been a lovely place to grow up and that I had moved to Chicago to go to school and she said " Well, it sounds like your only other option would be to be stuck in that small town and get married at age 15 or something!" My mother and I just gaped at her and I said that as far as I knew there were no 15 year old child-brides in my hometown and my mother said - not in a rude way- that our town was very cultured and had a theater and a philharmonic orchestra and that they really enjoyed living there.

Then the owner of the store came rushing over and started loudly talking about how much she liked my mother's purse and where had she gotten it, etc. obviously trying to change the subject. We left and my mother was extremely upset at how she had been treated and I think my father was too.

I am not a regular customer there, but I have bought two very expensive items there in the past year, an outfit for a fancy wedding and an expensive necklace for my own upcoming wedding in the spring. I was particularly excited to take my mother there because they have such nice things and now I wish I hadn't!! I really feel like going in and speaking to the owner or giving that clerk a piece of my mind. Ultimately, it should not have mattered how my parents looked or where they were from- am I overreacting??

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So What Happened?

First off, thank you to everyone who replied with actual constructive suggestions for how to bring this up with the store owner. My mom is a very sweet older lady who is always polite to everyone and totally didn't deserve the treatment she got.

but- just to clear up a couple of points:

1) I never said people who shop at Walmart are 'trashy' or anything else. My own father wanted to go there to get a sweatshirt! I think that the sales clerk probably thinks people who shop there are trashy, based on HER comments, but I never said that and don't believe it. I know how lucky my family is that my mom can come here and do some Christmas shopping. The rest of the year, there basically IS no place to shop in our town but a grocery store and Walmart, so it is a real treat for her. We've never gotten treated rudely at any other shop on the Avenue, so this incident was just a real surprise to both of us.

2) I also never meant to imply that the way my parents dressed or spoke should matter AT ALL. People should be treated politely no matter how they look or talk. But- I think we all know that there are a LOT of people who do treat people differently, based on looks and speech, no matter how wrong it is. All I was trying to point out was that there was no apparent reason for the clerk to act like my parents were different from any other customers in the store- they were not picking their noses or something either! She seemed to think her comments were ok just because my parents said they were from a small town and that they wouldn't know better or something.

3)Anyone who says I should not be upset or took this too personally- I can only say that if you had heard this woman talk to YOUR mother like that, I bet you would be upset too. My mom was so embarrassed and uncomfortable, she just wanted to leave as soon as possible. I understand that. But I also think something should be said, so someone else doesn't get the same kind of treatment.

Anyway, I am going over today to speak to the owner for a few minutes. Thank you again to everyone who had ACTUAL advice to give. To people who just wanted to make a mean comment- why bother? That is not what this board is supposed to be for!

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S.C.

answers from Chicago on

I was a small business owner for a long time and would have certainly liked the opportunity to make it right. Call the owner and tell her how upset this made you and see what she has to say.

Unfortunately, we hire employees that have bad days. And when they interview on best behavior we don't know what those bad days will be like until they happen on the job.

Oak Park or not, you should let the owner know how this upset you in a calm way. Small business or not - employee behavior like that needs to be addressed.

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S.E.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with all previous posts. What strikes me most is how intolerant many of us are - without even realizing it. How many preconceived notions we have about people and/or places. Every person, no matter where they come from, where they live, what their education level, income level, or what they wear - deserve the same respect. There's nothing wrong with shopping at Walmart and there's nothing wrong with shopping at a small, specialty store. What is wrong is for a sales clerk to make any kind of judgment on anybody - you never know who you are talking to. It is wrong for a sales clerk to be rude and unprofessional. It is wrong to judge others by external factors.

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M.B.

answers from Chicago on

Nice how you equate shopping at Walmart with being 'trashy.'

3 moms found this helpful
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A.A.

answers from Chicago on

Hi E.,

It does sound as though the clerk was tactless when dealing with your parent's and could use some basic customer service training. Obviously the owner realized this as she stepped in and tryed to diffuse the situation. For all you know, the employee was reprimanded after you left. I wouldn't blame you for taking your business elsewhere after this poor experience, but if you like the shop then you may want to address your issue with the owner either by mail, phone call, or in person. Give the owner a chance to explain. She obviously can't control an employee's every action. I do not think this experience is a reason for you to run the poor woman out of business. I think printing a letter in a local paper is extreme. Not something I would do, unless really warranted, and in this case I don't think it is.

Honestly, I think you should realize that you have your own prejudices too. You basically say that because your parent's are "well-dressed" and well-spoken that they should be treated with respect. The truth is, your parent's should have been respected no matter what they were wearing(even Walmart brand clothing) or how good their grammer was. They were patronizing this shop and the customer is the customer no matter the hometown. The clerk was rude, but you sound a bit over-the-top offended by a comment made by store clerk you don't even know. Move on from this and enjoy the holiday season!

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N.R.

answers from Chicago on

First of all E. it seems to me that you are kind of rude also, not to mention your dad, lets start with. I grew up in a very small and lovely town in Ohio,the way you make it sound it might be wonderland it self. Let's move on why did your dad feel the need to mention anything about Walmart not everyone can shop at the lovely boutiques that your mother graces with her presence once a year, and of course the sales clerk would get a snooty look your father was no better he deserved what he got. And what does your parents dressing well and speaking well has to do with it, I know people who are millionaires and walk around in their jeans and gym shoes ,so lady get over it and maybe what your well spoken, well dressed, well travel parents should do is stay in your lovely town and support the small independent businesses there,her once a year purchase is not going to make or break the economy.

Have a lovely day.

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

I can certainly understand why you might be taken a back, but not upset. The sales clerk was less than professional and needs more training on how to interact with ALL customers, not just those who are well dressed and appear to be cultured. Your father was probably very pleasant in making small talk with her and the clerk decided to overtly express her opinion and stereotypes about "small town" life. In response, you felt like you had to explain and defend your home town life, which you should not have to do. I gather that the owner interrupted because she too knew that the conversation was a train wreck and that the clerk was clueless. The clerk is not professional enough to know that her comments were inappropriate. Not that this excuses her actions. It did not sound like she was being malicious. You could contact the owner, if you really feel that's necessary and explain that you found the clerk's comments inappropriate and kindly recommend some additional training. This could be a great learnign experience for the clerk. Keep in mind that not all clerk personnel are properly trained/skilled at interacting with the public. And this doesn't matter if she's working at a boutique in Oak Park or Walmart. We just seem to expect more when it is a boutique charging ridiculous prices for items that we perceive to be better quality or an "original" design.

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C.H.

answers from Chicago on

I live in Oak Park and won't shop downtown for that very reason. Prices are too high and the employees are snooty. And the parking is horrible. I would either talk to the owner or write a letter and take your business elsewhere.

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

I hope you will contact the owner and give her a chance to make it right with you. If she witnessed this, she may have already disciplined the clerk. If it's a shop you like and they carry great stuff, I wouldn't give up so quickly on them. Especially in this economy - I try really hard to keep my dollars going to local taxpaying businesses.

I remember that I was upset with Barbaras for years because one dumb employee was rude to me. But you know what? The other employees are perfectly lovely, and when I finally went back after years of avoiding them, everyone was very helpful and every experience I've had since then has been good. And actually, I know someone who did flee a small town because she felt too pressured to settle down and have kids at age 21 - maybe the clerk has some issues herself ;-)

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D.G.

answers from Chicago on

I am friends with a store owner in Oak Park; I sure hope it was not her store. I also have been working in the retail business for over 10 years. I would first like to address that maybe the clerk did not appreciate your father’s joke. My husband has a very dry somewhat annoying at times sense of humor. Some people do not understand my husband’s jokes. Maybe the clerk thought your father was putting down the store or maybe she thought he was implying that the store was overpriced and snooty.

Being a sales associate for as long as I have I have dealt with many types of customers and I would never have been as rude as that clerk was to your family. She can have all the opinions that she wants, but you are never supposed to express them with customers. I may be wrong, but looking at the location of the store makes me think that it was a young girl from a wealthy family working a little side part time job. She probably thinks she is better than most people and comes from a privileged family that did not teach her manners or how to be respectful to others. I have seen this type of young women shopping in my store many times. This type thinks she is above others and has a very closed view of the world. I am not a fan of Walmart myself because of political reasons, but I definitely do not think that you are trashy if you shop there.

My last point is to tell you that you should only speak with the owner. The sales associate will not care what you think of her and probably not even listen to you at all. She sounds like a person that would care less about what other people think of her. The owner should be addressed and told how you were treated. You should also let her know that you are going to tell your friends about this poor treatment also. The owner may offer a discount and will for sure take action with the sales associate. You should always let a manager know about poor treatment in their store. I have been in this business for a long time and we deal with a lot of horrible customers, but we should never be rude to a kind customer. There is never an excuse for us to be rude unless the customer is being rude to us.

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

It sounds like the owner may have caught part of it and tried to amend things but may not actually have gotten the full story.

If it bothers you that much, go in and talk to the shop owner. most business owners care very much about their customers and their businesses. They cannot always control the idiot things that a shop clerk might say, but the shop clerk can certainly be reprimanded.
Be professional and courteous to the owner, but if you are looking for something in particular to be done, think of that ahead of time.

Don't waste your time and breath with the clerk. That is SO not worth it. If she doesn't have the ability to see that what she did/said was completely inappropriate at the time, if you confront her, she will only be justified in her original immature insensitive action. You don't need to drop to her level.

Personally, if she were my employee, she would be out of a job. Or minimally since its the holiday season, given tasks where she would not be in contact with the public.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

I hope writing this request is the last bit of attention and energy you'll ever give this place, because that's about all they deserve.

You were treated poorly, they acted improperly, but quite honestly, if the experience was that bad then I am not quite sure if it is worth the time to expend your energy and frustration to go in and behave just as badly as the clerk did. Given your experience are you ever going to shop there again? I doubt it. Going in and 'giving it' to the clerk just sinks you to her level.

Instead, write a letter expressing your displeasure and address it to the owner. In the letter, tell them exactly how you were treated. Follow that with something to the effect of "I tend to support small businesses, and with many choices in the Oak Park area at price points similar to yours, I am left with no choice but to take my business elsewhere. I'll also be sharing my unfortunate experience with all my friends, family, and co-workers as they, too, do not like to patronizes businesses who treat their customers so rudely." Business success and failures, particularly small businesses live and die by word-of-mouth advertising.

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M.P.

answers from Chicago on

I live in Oak Park and also try to support the local businesses as much as my bank account allows us to. That behavior is disgusting and is an insult to all of Oak Park. So many people are proud to live here (me included) because of its openmindedness and not in spite of it. If it were me, I wouldn't waste my time with the owner or the clerk but would write a letter to the editor of Oak Leaves or the Wednesday Journal. All of Oak Park ought to hear about this particular business. They should be publicly embarrassed for their behavior.

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

I'm glad you are going to speak to the owner. If she cares about her business she'll have a follow up conversation with the employee after your conversation with her. She should know how her employee made your mother feel and unfortunately, there are several people behind the counters of retails stores who do treat people differently because of the way they dress, speak, etc. I know when I go shopping in sweats I rarely am offered help, but if I'm wearing my suit or office attire, I get asked several times. Good luck to you and it sounds like the owner, from her interruption of the situation, will be easy to speak to and will hopefully consider what you say as feedback and have that follow up discussion with the employee.

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J.H.

answers from Chicago on

I think it is best to write a note to the owner, explaining the incident and how it made you all feel. It is good for them to have it is writing.

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C.A.

answers from Chicago on

Customer service!!!!!!! Just to avoid this extremely rude sales clerk ever having the opportunity to do this to another customer you have a responsibility to let the owners/management know. What the sales clerk feels about Walmart - or the price of tea in China - is completely irrevelant. Customer service means to treat the customer as if nobody else is more important than they are - and your father was just as much as customer as your mother.

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would not bother talking to the clerk. I would talk to the owner of the store. What she should have done was immediately apologize for the clerk's behavior and continued to handle the ring-up herself.

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K.S.

answers from Chicago on

My mother mentioned to me a number of years ago how she noticed that clerks were rude and tend to ignore older people and I got to witness it first hand with her one day. She also lived ina small town (she's now in a nursing home) but at that time she always came up for a few days before Christmas. We were at Lord and Taylor in Oakbrook and she was about to purchase some jewelry there. I was standing about 15 feet from her, simply looking, not even thinking of buying. The clerk came up to me and asked if she could help me...meanwhile my Mom was standing there with her purchase in hand. I said to her..."My Mom was right...you people do ignore older customers. My Mother is right there ready to buy something and you ignored her and came to me. I would appreciate it if you would go help HER" She just glared at me, then rudely sold my mother her purchase.

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

NO! That sales clerk was completely out of line! I worked in retail for over 9 years and never heard of anyone being so rude to any customer. She obviously wasn't told that the customer is always right, and treat others the way you want to be treated. I would definitely speak to the owner and let them know how upset your parents were. I would be as upset as you if it were my parents who were spoken to in that matter. It was entirely uncalled for and you should get some retribution for it.
Good luck and happy holidays!

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I have a hunch that your saleslady probably doesn't even work there anymore. I have a sister who looks normal, acts normal at times and is so emotionally out of touch she has gone through job after job over the years(Hopefully it wasn't her!) We Don't know why. Sometimes people are literally mentally ill and don't know what they are doing, sometimes people are just mean and sometimes people don't hear what they are saying until that night. (I've done that and go ohmygosh I don't believe I sounded that way).Anyway I sense that a salesgirl like that will be ousted soon or has already been reamed out. By all means talk to the owner but you may get more than you bargained for. Sometimes there are some sad stories behind those other huffy attitudes. But, if it were my business I would want to know if my personnel was fine or not.We live in a tough economy and the people can make or break the business.Perhaps however give the store another chance.

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A.

answers from Chicago on

I am a day behind so I see you have made up your mind to speak with the owner and I say GOOD FOR YOU! In this economy I can't believe she'd employ someone who is driving customers away and someone should remind her. It is a shame that your mom had that experience when she was out to have fun and was being thoughtful in selecting a nice gift for your SIL. It does not matter what your parents look like or how they presented themselves - they fact is they were customers and should have been treated respectfully. I think a nice touch would be for you to print the responses condemning the clerk's behaviour and give them to the shop owner. She should be grateful you haven't named names here (though I really want to know what store to avoid!!). Hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday.

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Those sorts of interactions drive me up the wall! But it sounds like at least the owner realized it was very inappropriate and tried to "make nice"... given that, I wouldn't consider this a reflection on the store itself. A friend of mine says that we tend to "let people live in our heads rent free"... tell that woman to get out of your head so you can get on with your life. (I know... easier said than done).

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