Really Scared and Nervous

Thats the way off life now a days, unfortunatly we as mothers have to make the decision of going to work and leaving our children in daycare or preschool. You were blessed with being able to stay at home for 2 years with your child. I am a single mother and I have been leaving my child in daycare since he was 10 months old, now he is in preschool (he is 4) and he loves it. I remember going to work crying because I did not want to leave him but it all worked out. After a while he was telling me he wanted to go to school, so that was very reassuring for me. Don't worry, we suffer more than they do. They love to be with their friends in school. Good luck, just remember you are not alone on this.

You know, I had to place my first daughter in daycare f/t at 8 weeks old. I cried all the way from Plainfield to Oakbrook Terrace. Feeling like a bad mommy? Yes, I know about that feeling too. The truth of the matter is that you're a great mommy. :-) You just had to make a decision that was right for your household at this point in your lives. I felt the same way and then I was blessed to be terminated from my job. Yes, it was truly a blessing and now I own and operate my own business. I wish I had been aware of this business venture before crying myself back to work but things happen in their own timing. If you'd like to explore a business venture that will allow you the opportunity to remain home with your child, please contact.

M.
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To say you are a bad mother by going back to work is to say that all of us who have to go to work are bad mothers and I know I"m not a bad mommy! As another poster said, you were very very blessed to be able to stay home with him for two full years. Unfortunately today's reality is that as mothers, wives and employess we have a full plate. Frankly though I feel proud of the ways that I contribute to my family. I work so that we can have nice things and I can provide my children things that would have never been available to them without my income. Not to say that at times it isn't exhausting and I feel like something may suffer (usually the laundry or cleaning the toilets),but it also makes the time I have with my family that much more special. Also, my daughters LOVES her daycare. She's learning important social skills with kids her age, she's also learning how to interact with other adults and getting a good dose of what's to come in the school years. I also hope that one day she looks back on how hard her Mom and Dad worked to provide a good lifestyle for her and her sibling(s) and it inspires her to work hard for herself and her future family. I guarantee that with some time he will adjust beautifully and you may find yourself feeling better too. I found that work gave me an excuse to get dressed, wash my hair and talk to other adults about things that didn't revolve around my family and that's a healthy thing too. Good luck and at first, call the daycare provider a couple times a day if you need to. I did and they understood and were very kind about it. You'll find that as time passes you won't need to do that but I do encourage you to leave work early about once a month and pop in on him. This will show you a different view of the daycare and if possible watch without him seeing you right away and I bet your heart warms at seeing him enjoy himself so much. Hang in there!

I didn't read all the responses, just scanned them, but I'd just like to encourage you that you are NOT a bad mommy! Every mom out there has felt like the worlds worst mommy at some point or another (myself included, of course!). I just thought I'd put in another point of view. If it is at all possible, perhaps now isn't the right time to return to work. Our babies are little for a blink of an eye, and there will be plenty of time for career fulfillment later on, but they just are little for such a small amount of time! If you don't NEED to work, perhaps it would be better to stay at home a little longer. I realize that in this world of inflation (for everything except our salaries, that is!) it is often times necessary to have the second income, but it is also possible to make changes and cutbacks and perhaps stay at home longer. Sometimes "guilt" about what we are doing is an indicator that we should take a closer look at why that guilt is coming up. Doesn't necessarily make something right or wrong, just worthy of a pause. Just some thoughts...

Oh my Gosh! You do sound like a nervous wreck. I totally understand and your fears are normal. You are not a bad person for needing full time care for your son.

The first thing you need to do is establish a good relationship with the day care/preschool provider. Make sure that they know you are looking for regular communication (something they should do anyway).

The first couple of weeks will probably be harder on you than your child. Kids are so resourcful--he'll get used to it and so will you!

Good luck!

Stop! You are not a bad mother. Most of us need full care at some time and your being a good mother by worrying so much about the care of your son. The first couple weeks are really hard and my advice to you is to make your goodbyes short. The longer you say goodbye, the harder it will be for him but it gets better. My kids cried at first.

You should call the center when your at work, this is what I did, I made the office call and find out what they were doing and how they were handeling it. I also used to arrive at a time they were not expecting me and I liked to see how my children were interacting. Both of my kids were shy at first.

Ask the center how they handle accidents (someone hits your child, etc, etc). I used to get a form everyday (when my son was 2) stating what he eat, what time he slept, what time his diaper was changed/or when he used the potty.

Good luck! Be Strong! You can email me if you need to chat.

I got divorced when my son was 2 and he has been in daycare full time ever since. He has been in both in-home daycares and centers.

Mothers leave their children in full time care everyday, and it does not make us bad mothers. There are many benefits to your child being in full time care. A consistent routine - the same schedule everyday - will help him to feel secure. He will know what is going to happen next. he will also get social interaction with the same children everyday, which will help him learn to make friends.

He will probably cry at first, most kids do. I worked in a daycare center for two years - and I can tell you - kids only cry for a minute or two, and then they are fine. Now that I've been on both sides of the fence - as a mom leaving my child and as a daycare worker, I can say it's definitely harder on the parents than it is on the children. Make your goodbyes short, and establish a routine (it will take a few weeks to do that). With my son, I'd help him take off his coat (if he was wearing one), then I'd walk him over to the daycare teacher (at a center), give him a hug and kiss and tell him I loved him and that I hoped he had a fun day. After he got a little older, he didn't want the hug and kiss, and asked me not to kiss him in front of his friends, so now we hug and say I love you and have a good day and he runs off to go play. At first, there were some tears - he cried for a few minutes after I left - but I showed him on the clock what time I'd be back to pick him up and once he realized that I always picked him up when I said I would... he tears stopped.

Most centers offer a daily note which tells how your child's day was. Any good in-home daycare of center will also encourage you to call and check on your child if you are worried. Many also allow you to drop in anytime during the day - though I would advise NOT letting your child see you if you do this. It makes it harder on your child because then they think it's time to go home, and they have to do the goodbye thing all over again.

Your son will be fine. Most centers will have an incident or accident report that they will give you if your child gets hurt - whether he trips and falls, gets hit by another child, or he he is the one being aggressive with another child.

Choose a provider that you are comfortable with and one that encourages open communication. And it really is harder for you than for him...

YOU ARE NOT a bad mother. Going back to work and providing a better life, new experiences for your baby is the best parent you an give him! Plus you will love talking to people and working after such a long break. I know I did...I adore my daughter, she is the joy in my life..It was hard at first then after a moth or so I got back into it :) Congrats on your new job!

Greetings, I don't know how things worked out for you, but, I found a legitimate, awesome, stay at home business, that could help you out. It is registered with the Better Business Bureau, and involes NO SELLING, and NO MONEY INVESTMENT, and NO MEETINGS, and NO FEES, EVER! Check out the website, and Good Luck! J. http://www.mypowermall.com/Biz/Home/49793